At first I tried to hold back my failings as I recounted what had happened to Bomilik. I wanted to present myself as capable and collected, not impulsive and reckless. Yet the longer I went on with my explanation to a mostly silent Bomilik, who only nodded along and occasionally asked clarifying questions, the more slipped through as my mind went back to the sights I had seen from the camera feed Max had shown me.

I found myself drifting off from the conversation during the description of my stealthy return from the pit, losing focus and looking away from the large dwarv as I stopped talking and replayed the bloody work of the turret in my mind.

“Kaninak, brother. Do not worry. Even if your attack was foolhardy, it was successful. That is sometimes the difference between bravery and stupidity.” He offered me a craggy smile before continuing. “We are in a good position, if your report rings true. Our Row remains uninjured and whole, the others have suffered losses, and it sounds as if we are on par if not ahead within the tech race, since you did not speak of real weaponry or armor amongst those you fought.”

I nodded and looked down as I started to scrape some of the thick tar off of my arms, and removed the clogged lamp that was still clipped to me. My mind was still back home, worrying over what was happening in my city. I almost started to tell him, just to get it off my chest and have someone tell me outloud that I was making the right choice by staying, but he rose and started to speak before I worked up the nerve.

“Save as much of that as you can, we may find some use for the tar and oils. I’ll send someone to give you a vessel to contain it. Take a few moments to clean and collect yourself, and then head back to the map room. Kazek thinks you’ll be more useful with the smithing team now that we have cleared the whole area. You did well, brother, do not be ashamed.” He nodded, still slightly smiling, and then started back down the passageway to rejoin the group at the frontline.

His words made me feel even worse, even if he had waved away my initial reckless action. He had no idea just how far I had been mentally pulled out of the situation I should be focusing on. He had no idea how unreliable I was, and how distracted I had become. Even though I worked to focus on the trial and wanted to help my new clan brethren, I was failing and utterly preoccupied by the situation back home.

As I warred with my thoughts, I halfheartedly worked to scrape the tar and oil from my body and ragged clothing, slopping it onto one of the nearby stones in a wet pile. I didn’t even notice when another dwarv stopped in front of me, or when she coughed twice, before finally she purposefully slammed down a carved out stone bowl between us.

“Ahem, Nick. Bomilik told me to bring this to you.” She said, meeting my eyes. I watched as her face changed from businesslike seriousness, to confused concern. “What is troubling you? You look distraught.” Kikkelin asked.

I grimaced, still unsure where exactly we were at in our friendship. We’d mostly avoided conversation since I’d awkwardly tried to ask her about the rumors that were going around. The truth was, I still felt pretty bad that I’d fallen into believing them, even if only for a moment.

Before I had shoved my whole foot into my mouth during that conversation, she had gone out of her way and borne the social consequences of trying to get to know me before most of the other dwarves had. Kikkelin had opened up to me and I’d been an ass in return. Maybe opening up to her now could help rebuild the friendship we had been forming.

“My city is under attack.” I answered, meeting her gaze and surprising myself with the flat defeated tone that came with the admission.

She blinked in response, her eyes widening. “What?”

I hung my head and attempted to run my fingers through my hair, but they only got stuck in the clogged mess of tar. I pulled my hand away and a chunk of my hair came with it. I winced as I looked over the clump as I continued to answer. “In reality, my home is under attack. My friends are defending my private rooms, and a… not really like a rival clan but an opposing group of people, are fighting with the security forces right outside of my building.”

“Oh.” She answered. I heard her sit down on the stone Bomilik had been sitting on before. “That is horrible, brothers should not make war on one another. Why do they fight?”

I shrugged and thought about it for a beat before replying. “I’m not really sure, there are a few groups it could be.” I hesitated for a moment, organizing my thoughts. “It could be the anti-government militias, or one of the isolationist groups that want to destroy the Links, or even a false flag attack from a jealous rival from a different district. I don’t have enough information.” I grumbled the last part, tossing the clump of hair onto the ground before clenching my fists in frustration.

“Wow, I… I really don't know what to say. I am sorry. All I can think is that I hope you are safe.” She replied quietly.

I finally looked up and tried to give her a smile for her kindness, but I’m pretty sure I failed. “Thanks, I’m not really sure what to say, or to do, either.”

We met eyes for another moment as silence took over, before I looked away and restarted the work of scraping the tar from myself and slapping it into the bowl. I thought she would get up and head back to the front, but to my surprise she stayed and watched as I worked, and after about a minute she spoke up again.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“It is so foreign to me, to attack another home city. My kind have our own problems and conflicts, yet we do not attack each other's homes, not for hundreds of generations.”

I glanced up at her as I tried to pull off my gauntlets. They had been so jammed up with tar around my wrists that they were held in place, and I had to hold it between my knees and use my core strength to wrench them off one at a time.

I grunted as the first one came free and I rocked back with the effort. “How did you stop? With us, it's been an unsolvable problem. We have been at war with each other since before we thought to start writing down history.”

“It is forbidden, it is just… unthinkable. I guess, it is said that we were too few before the Links came to our homeworld. Our home planet is a dangerous enough place on its own, and our clans were mostly locked and isolated within our valleys.”

I pulled the other gauntlet off and set both of them down on the rock next to me. “Really? I’ll admit, I haven’t had the time to do my homework about, uh…” I floundered for a moment as I struggled to remember the name of the dwarves' homeworld. “Anazoudak?”

She huffed out a breath of laughter and nodded. “That is its name, you should read of it some day, or visit our Link world if you get the chance. When you gain your rank you will have access to the Clan libraries, I look forward to seeing them myself.”

I nearly managed a smile, and nodded as well. “I will, when I can find the time. Everything’s been so urgent lately, it’s like all I’ve done is train, sleep, and react to whatever the next crisis happens to be.”

“You must be under a lot of pressure.” She replied, nervously fiddling with her fingers in a repetitive counting motion.

I nodded. “I am, but I have to push through it. I don’t know what will happen to me if I fail at this point, but I doubt it would be good.”

She nodded and gave me a worried frown, but did not reply. After a moment, I finally worked up the sand to say what I should have said days ago.

“Hey, I uh. I’m sorry, by the way. I shouldn’t have fallen for the stupid rumors like I did. You’ve been nice to me and I was a jerk in return. So… yeah, I’m sorry.”

She gave me a surprised look, and took a moment to reply. “It’s okay, I’m sorry about blowing up on you too, really. It’s just been so stressful with all of the pressure from training, and Korfook blasting everything apart. Although…” she hesitated for a second and looked back at me, cracking a small smile. “You really were a jerk.”

I laughed and started to reply, glad that she was willing to forgive me and feeling part of the weighty guilt that I had been carrying evaporate. “Hah, yeah. That's my ba-”

Midway through my answer, I was interrupted by what felt like the world's nastiest flashbang. The whole world went white and my ears popped and started to ring, my head was pounding and felt like it was being squished in a vice and set on fire at the same time. Flames surged up and down my spine and every nerve in my body screamed as my eyes felt like they were being pulled out of my skull. I distantly felt my limbs flail uncontrollably in every direction, beating against myself as they went berserk all on their own.

The agony went on for what felt like hours, but I’m pretty sure it only lasted for a few seconds before existence disappeared and the pain ceased. I found myself in a familiar inky black star-spangled void, staring straight into the round dots of Max’s eyes as he held my head by my ears.

“Holy gorgonzola. You should be dead, buddy.” He said, “I thought I was going to have to pilot your braindead ass around for good.”

“What happened?” I croaked, rubbing my hands over my face and noticing that I felt super hot, like I had been baking in the summer sun for hours.

“The Link was cut, they blew up the ship. I barely managed to pull your consciousness back. I’m keeping you sedated for a moment while I stitch a few things back together. These Link rigs have a ton of medical equipment that make it way easier to work on you.” He let go of my head and stepped back. “Not that I’ve forgiven you for your previous brainless actions, but I am glad you’ve retained what little intelligence you have.”

“Why… wait, what?” I asked, not really registering what he had said as I shook off the screaming agony I had just been put through.

“They blew up the ship,” he repeated. “Things are really going sideways out there. They’ve cut nearly all of the hardwire connections and overran the armored guys on the ground and are starting to blast open the ground floor doors too. Just give me a few more seconds to make sure your fluids don’t boil and I’ll let you out of here.”

“What? You’re messing with me, right?” I said, not believing what he said. This had to be some twisted prank.

“Nope, not this time. I may be an ass but I wouldn't jack you off like that.”

I blinked, pulled out of my stupor by his phrasing. “Don’t say it like that. You’re telling me I was forcibly un-Linked?”

“Damn, get it through your head already, yes. Shit’s FUBAR, and you need to get a move on.” He clapped his nubby arms together and I snapped back to reality.

I felt the Link rigs helmet lift away from my face, and my body went back to feeling sore, bruised, and burning hot. I groaned and slowly pried the locking straps away from my shoulders and hips and fell limply out of the saddle, slipping on the puddle of vomit that covered the floor around me. I landed in a pile and nearly retched again from the smell and pain.

I pushed myself up and tried to shake the feeling off, becoming dizzy and lightheaded and nearly falling back onto my face by the sudden action. I took a few deep breaths and managed to rise to my knees to look around the room, noticing that the normally solid red light that signified the door was locked was now blinking, and I could vaguely hear some kind of tapping and rumbles in the distance.

“What the…” I breathed out, feeling out of it and woozy. I struggled to get a foot underneath myself, and then shakily rose to my feet and wobbled over to the door, slapping the button to turn the light green and unlock the door.