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Pieces on the Numinia Board
Chapter 29 – Choices to be Made

Chapter 29 – Choices to be Made

When the white light faded Blink found himself in the memory of the travelling caravans again. He looked at his hands, they were no longer sharp claws. He touched his face feeling the absence of wolfish features. He breathed a sigh of relief, yet at the same time, disappointment. The anger and power were preferrable to the sorrow that this place gave. He looked around and the bon-fire in the centre of the colourful caravans was still alight, burning, and enticing. He realised then that there were no bodies in the field, no blood, no sign of fighting. It was night and the stars above shone brightly amidst the glow of the full moon.

‘Where is everyone?’ he asked searching. He took several steps forward but saw no sign of any life. It was just a memory after all, and he was glad that there weren’t any bodies here.

‘Hello!’ he called out as his voice echoed off invisible walls.

‘They are not here. I have kept the worst of this memory hidden from you,’ came a familiar voice. Blink whirled around searching for it.

‘Who are you? Did you bring me here?’ he asked fervently.

‘You have kept this place separate from yourself all your life. I suppose you could say I brought you here but that would not be entirely accurate,’ came the voice as its owner stepped out of the air and became form.

‘Innais?’ said Blink surprised.

‘Yes. Once Nessus told me of what had happened, I suspected I would need the last of my power for this,’ she said with annoyance, and a little pity.

‘What happened? What do you mean?’ asked Blink trying to remember. Innais looked at him with curiosity in her eyes.

‘I thought as much,’ she said and tilted her head to the sky. ‘Come out Brandúlf. It is time we spoke Toothless One,’ she said with an air of the guild master about her rather than a god. It also sounded as if she were preparing to teach a stern lesson. A task for which she was very well practiced.

‘YOU DO NOT COMMAND ME WITCH. I AM BRANDÚLF AND WILL NOT TO BE CALLED TOOTHLESS,’ came the booming voice from the sky. Blink shrank visibly and looked in apprehension for the giant wolf he had seen before.

‘No but it is high time we spoke. You have become engulfed in rage. I remember a time you were not so,’ said Innais.

‘I AM WHAT THIS WORLD MADE ME. I AM VENGANCE AND DESTRUCTION. I WILL SWALLOW THE MOON FOR ALL I HAVE LOST,’ it boomed again.

‘So you would be as Arawn’Vyr then? Forsaking the flow of life and death. Burdening yourself and the world with corruption and true sorrow. You would remain blind to the gifts it has given to you?’ she said accusingly. The sky seemed to grow angry at that. Cloud churned into life and become red with the heat of flames buried within.

‘I AM NO MORTAL DESPERATE FOR LOVE ETERNAL. YOU INSULT ME GREATLY WITCH. YOU DARE SO HERE IN MY DEN,’ the voice growled.

‘Here in your den? You would choose the most painful of your own memories for your den? You have chosen to rest upon your own suffering Toothless One,’ said Innais.

‘What are you doing? You’re going to anger him further,’ said Blink wishing Innais would stop goading him.

‘Be quiet foolish boy. You are no better than he is for having chosen the same memory,’ she scolded him as the boy she certainly saw him as.

‘Do you have any idea what he is!’ said Blink trying to convince her.

‘Oh I know better than you boy. Clearly you forget what I am also. Toothless! Get down and here and speak to me as equals. Enough of your posturing and self-indulgence,’ she said using the same tone with the booming voice. The clouds above thundered with rage before billowing down to the ground where they stood. It took shape and form and for a moment Blink saw the terrible head of the wolf before it shrank and faded becoming a man swathed in wolf pelts. He had a long beard of blacks and greys, plaited and beaded. He grinned showing rows of teeth not unlike those of the wolf, only one was missing. In his hand he held the bone sword that Blink had wielded.

‘You dare come to this place and command be witch,’ he said with a deep growling voice.

‘In this Age I have taken the name of Innais, Toothless One,’ she said correcting him. He sneered in response before speaking.

‘What do you want and how do I be rid of you, witch,’ he said making a point of not using her name. She frowned angrily but did not take his bait.

‘I want you to release the boy and be done with your rampage,’ she said.

‘The boy is mine and he has made his choice,’ he said.

‘A choice you have forced upon him to sate your own hunger for revenge and sorrow,’ she said accusingly.

‘I am rage and anger. I am no sorrow witch,’ he said with something of a bark in his voice. Blink stared at the man before him.

‘Who… what are you? I’ve not agreed to anything with you,’ he said. The man looked at him with a silent threat to not speak again.

‘He is Brandúlf. A Numinian. He gave his tooth and fur for that sword he holds. You both share the same sorrow. The same tragedy that set you on a path of destruction,’ said Innais more softly than she had spoken before.

‘Do not speak of it!’ said Brandúlf. Innais ignored him and went on.

‘He gifted that sword to the people he loved most dearly in this world, the Kaninrites. Your people Blink,’ said Innais. Blink looked at her with awe and understanding.

‘Yes, and the other Numinians bound me to that sword that I would never know freedom again,’ said Brandúlf growling as he spoke.

‘You gave the power of a god to mortals without any consideration for the consequences,’ she said angrily.

‘But didn’t you do the same… with the numinian pieces,’ said Blink.

‘Yes, but what we did was earned and but a small token, at least until Arawn’Vyr and his allies stole it in totality,’ she said.

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‘I gave freely, and my people were no danger to any, so long as they were left to be free,’ said Brandúlf.

‘They were left to be free and to continue to have you with them, bound within the sword. It is true they never moved against us… though it was reckless of you to trust them in the first place,’ said Innais again speaking as if to a student or subordinate of the guild. Brandúlf merely glared at her and seemed to be holding back tirade of anger within. Blink could feel it, the heat, and terrible rumblings of anger from the Numinian. It made his hands shake and his face became flushed.

‘You should have seen how they danced witch,’ he said low and reminiscent. As he spoke the field of the caravans burst to life and music and singing filled the air. Blink saw as the people danced, played music, laughing, sharing delicious food. Children ran by him playing with wooden swords and dogs barked and bounded at their play. Blink saw his parents, wreaths of flowers in their hair, they were smiling and so full of joy. Blink felt the urge to reach out to them. He longed to touch them and be close to them, to know them at all.

‘These were people of no threat or harm to the world witch. I gave them power to protect themselves and was punished for it,’ said Brandúlf. The scene about them changed again to become the horror that had haunted Blink. Blood and bodies everywhere, the smell of smoke and death choking the air.

‘No make it go away!’ Blink said turning to Brandúlf. He returned with a glower at Blink.

‘I can feel it. His rage Innais,’ said Blink his voice quivering with fear, or was it anticipation, excitement even?

‘It is the same as yours in many ways. It is why you are so entwined. He lost his people in this time and place, he considered them his family, you have the same loss,’ she said. Blink felt the stab of pain as he thought about his loss in this place. Of the people dead all around him, blood and fire seething, his father fighting to defend against Horrog and his cutthroats. Blink could hear them now, screams merging, and desperate cries for help. They pierced his mind, and he crouched on the ground blocking his ears trying to drive it out.

‘No, no, no. Make it stop. Make it go away,’ said Blink trying to look away from the scene of horror about him.

‘It will not go. It will not end,’ said Brandúlf.

‘Blink you must accept what happened and let it go. You must step forward toward something new. Toward a life that is still possible,’ said Innais using his name for the first time. It made him pause and look at her. For once she had not called him, fool or boy.

‘How can you ask me that when I keep losing things, when people keep dying, like…,’ he trailed off unable to finish the words.

‘You see. He will too with choose anger and vengeance. We will not give in until we have burned the world with our hatred. Not until all things know to feel as we do,’ said Brandúlf.

‘He is your kin is he not? He is the last of those you have so dearly lost, and you would send him on a path of further destruction!’ she said furious with Numinian before her.

‘He is my sword,’ said Brandúlf.

‘I am not a sword!’ cried Blink. Brandúlf looked at him in surprise.

‘Have we not decided to walk this path pup?’ he said, the growl returning to his voice.

‘No! I don’t want this! I don’t want more death. I just want them back,’ said Blink.

‘They are gone as we knew them. Returned to start again in new lives. It is the way,’ said Brandúlf softening slightly.

‘No! There must be a way!’ yelled Blink.

‘There is… you must live on for them, for yourself and the life you could have,’ said Innais.

‘But that isn’t fair,’ said Blink tears streaming down his face.

‘No it is not. But it is the truth. There is no fleeing from it,’ she said.

‘That’s easy for you to say. You’re immortal. You will never die,’ he said angrily through tears.

‘Perhaps I will one day… my sister has died, Jadissa as you knew her. Perhaps there are things that even we do not know. Perhaps we are not as fallible as you believe,’ she said gently. Brandúlf snorted derisively.

‘Humility does not suit you well, witch,’ said Brandúlf. Innais gave him a look of daggers.

‘Perhaps you should try it Toothless One. Will you truly choose to destroy the last of your children so? You disobeyed the gods for them once, so I know the depths of your love for them. What will you do?’ she said. Brandúlf snarled at her. He looked to Blink kneeling, crying, a broken figure. He was just a pup truly.

‘Enough of your whimpering pup. I can take no more it,’ barked Brandúlf, not angrily or with malice. Brandúlf sighed heavily, a breath laden with weariness. Blink stopped and looked at the imposing figure. ‘You are a pitiful thing of sorrow and regret. I will not have one of my children so,’ he said with a gruff tenderness about his words.

‘Shut up! You have no idea what I’ve had to endure,’ said Blink. Brandúlf jeered at him finding humour in his suffering.

‘And you no idea what I have pup,’ he said pointedly. He then spoke to Innais. ‘Very well witch. I will quell my hunger for a time though I will stay with the pup. I will watch… I will see how he chooses. He will take up this path of ruin and be my justice, I need only wait for this world to betray him yet again. It always does,’ he said and tossed the sword in Blink’s direction. With that he turned and vanished from the field along with the images of death around them.

‘Is it over?’ asked Blink hopefully.

‘Almost. I will leave this place now, but the choice must be yours. Will you choose a life full of new experiences and new memories, or self-assured destruction?’ she said looking down at him.

‘Just leave me alone already Innais,’ he said sounding a stubborn child. It made Innais smile as she thought of all the times Brigid had said the same thing to her.

‘All is not lost. There are those that care for you and await your return,’ she said softly.

‘How could they welcome me after what I’ve done?’ he said regretfully.

‘You must give them a chance to show you. When we do not know how to love ourselves it is often others that show us the way. Now come along boy,’ she said holding her hand out to him. Blink stared at her willing her to leave. She did not. Begrudgingly he placed his hand in hers and the white light returned.

When Blink awoke, he found himself standing with Innais’s hand upon his head. He was soaked through with water and stood within the courtyard of the central spire of Dayargain. Innais removed her hand and stepped away from him. She stumbled as she did so and needed to be caught by the huge muscular arms of Rhett’Sa. She waved him away and stood on her own feet, though kept a hand on him as a support.

‘Blink you’re back with us!’ cried Danu as she wrapped her arms about his waist. Blink was startled by the embrace and for the first time saw the large wings protruding from her back. They wriggled with excitement.

‘Danu you… you’ve got wings?’ he said surprised.

‘Oh yes… we have a lot to talk about,’ there was a guilty expression on her face as she said that. She pulled away slightly.

‘I’d say there’s some explaining to do all round… but let’s a pint and meal first, ey?’ said a gruff voice. Blink’s breath caught in throat. Had he heard that in his head? He dared not hope.

‘Well ya gunna look at me or what mate?’ said the gruff voice again. Blink whirled in place to see Ra’Handa and Brigid propping one another up.

‘How… is… is this real?’ he asked tears welling up inside.

‘I’m as real as the green skin on my arse Blink,’ said Ra’Handa with a smile. Blink ran to her and held her tightly not wanting to let go. She winced with pain and Blink realised she had a barely healed wound in her gut.

‘I’m sorry Ra,’ he went to say but she grabbed him tighter and held him.

‘How is this possible Ra? I saw you die,’ he said. It was Brigid that spoke and explained.

‘The numinian figurine… the obsidian one with the raven. It was broken but with the help of Danu and the tree there was enough power in it to bring them back,’ she explained. Blinked pulled away from Ra’Handa to look at Brigid. Even with the blood and soot on her face she was beautiful, strong, and although sullen at times, Blink felt a warmth as he looked at her. He flushed and his face grew hot.

‘Wait a minute… you said them,’ he said surprised and hopeful.

‘Brinn is tending to the wounds now, but Nessus should recover. And The Torrent that flowed over their body is gone now,' she said and smiled softly.

‘Bid! Dell’s finally awake,’ called Terrick. Brigid’s smile quickly turned to one of furious exasperation and she whirled on him.

‘Good! Then I can knock you both out!’ she shouted and stormed after them.

‘Is it over now Ra?’ said Blink.

‘You’re guess is as good as mine, mate. But if anything it feels like a beginning,’ she said coming and placing her weight and arm on his shoulders.