She awoke and her awareness awoken further.
She was here, whatever she was, it was still blurry, but she can hear farther, smell, and none of it was at all artificial, amplified or augmented. It came as perfectly natural to her, yet it was completely and utterly overwhelming, she attempted to shut it off.
She can’t, as her realization crystalized faster as well, because to turn off one’s ability to sense doesn’t make any lick of.
She moved her eyeballs to search, and she felt how it moved in her head; heard it squish about when sound like that was barely noticeable. She realized what was “blurriness” was her too focused.
She wanted to turn the focus down, and the request was heard throughout her body. Ethereal and fluid as a thought, but distinct and felt like pain in an elbow, or the rumbling of a stomach. Her eye “motion” had machinations that she couldn’t describe but knew intimately, each component working together.
Muscle movement, to the process of registering the sight, all coming together into her seeing. She felt the pings, the connections. And with her now quickened mind, she figured out how it’s “shaped”, able to “interact” with it. She found how to adjust her sight and promptly lowered the focus.
She now sees a sullen guy, dressed in medical clothes, crossing his arms as he looked at the ceiling.
…Hospital room…?
She scanned the room with her hyperaware eyes and she felt her blood ran cold.
Containment hub.
The walls were too white, so sleek they were reflecting light that was rimmed at the bottom and the top of the bottlenecked chamber, the shine making it whiter, more sterile.
Even the medic seemed pale under them, peach skin tone, blonde hair, blue shirt and navy pants, all washed out. The only thing that was a carryover from a typical hospital room were the brown-but-appears-to-be-khaki curtains. Other patients.
The male medic stood up and the chair went down into the floor, per design. Hands behind his back, he looked at her, and holograms of information on her, right before his face, before he dismissed that.
“Jackie Jackson…Jr…” he began and tried to keep it professional. “Breathe. That’s all I want you to do, to focus on right now. Just breathe.”
It was when she was trying to do so, everything felt wrong.
Wrong, wrong, absolutely, categorically, terribly wrong. And with this heightened sense, this unlocked awareness, told her this factually and intimately.
The male medic seems to understand this, but gave no gesture, no side-eye or nod that told her the exact problem is. Level head, staring right into her eyes, with a neutral expression.
“I know, I know,” he said. “Ignore the feedback. If it’s anything that’s too much to ignore, tell me and we can stop. Just breathe, focus on the breath coursing throughout.”
Jackie did what he said, focused on it, and she understood. The feeling of respiration started small, exclusively in her chest. Each inhale, each exhale, begun clearing the way for the breath to grow from chest, to midsection, chest, to stomach, chest, to waist. The reach expanded, and its influence was felt for the things out of reach.
“Good,” he said. “Good. That’s good. Now, I want you to do meditate breaths. Breathe in—hold for 15 seconds, and then breathe out. Breathe in, hold, and then out. Breathe in, hold, and then out. This is to remind you that you can feel your body stress and relax. Feel that. Remember that.”
She tried to push away the fact that she couldn’t nod and focused on the meditative breathing. She didn’t focus on the possible twists and knots that she was in, but the inside. How she could feel her breath guided the pulsing, the reverberation of her body, at each part. She felt her body live and focused on the wonder of having such a firsthand look with such.
It wasn’t so much the tension, she thought the medic was talking about, but minding the fact that she could feel herself breathe. And through that, the fact that she does have say in whatever’s happened to her, if not direct it herself.
The medic, who by this point Jackie deemed that he was good at his job, nodded with approval at her, “Yes, just like that. We knew that you were an athlete so some of this would come naturally, but you’re doing so in near-record time… Which is good. Because this is the part that is insanely hard, and we can come back to this whoever long you feel.”
The worst part of being at one with the process of your body, was the fact that you felt concern very fresh, very directly. The pings in the chest dug sharper, the stomach being an endless well felt deeper.
That indescribable, hollow ache when you felt like utter shit—tangible now. Somehow worse, now.
“Breathe,” he repeated. “Breathe, because that’s the greatest thing everyone is capable of. Breathe, and remember that your body is yours. Breathe, and keep yourself together.”
He tilted his hand to express what came next, moving the hand and curling his fingers until his index, middle and his thumb touched every so close, “Because… Having that? Keeping that all in mind? It will help you for what you’re about to do next. You got that?”
She wished that she could communicate. She wishes that she couldn’t be so freaked out that she couldn’t communicate. But somehow, the medic got that she did.
The medic closed his eyes and took the advice he was given to center himself.
“Okay,” he rolled his shoulder. He pointed to it. “Reattach your shoulder.”
There was absolutely no way that she could be prepared her for that.
Her thoughts were producing faster than she could comprehend them. What does that mean, what else could that mean, where is the shoulder, why is the shoulder anywhere away from where it is, what exactly does she look like, would she even recognize herself; who, what, who, what—
No. She had to throw this away.
She breathed. She felt her arm. And like her eyes; she felt each part of it connect into a functioning whole. She breathed, felt her arm, felt it all become her arm as she knew it.
Jackie merged all the thoughts into one and directed her shoulder back into its socket. Something that should’ve been so healing made her feel like an alien within her own body. She felt the arm recruit and reconnect in a sense, she felt her arm operative without her input, and she was choppily huffing for air.
“Ms. Jackson,” the medic said, “Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. You don’t have to rush. It’s okay to feel the way you do know. But don’t lose sight of what we’re doing, don’t lose yourself in this weird feeling. I’m not going to lie to you, you’re going to continue to be hit with this over and over. But all I ask of you is to remember what I’ve said. Breathe. If you can’t do anything else, just breathe.”
She breathed, desperately, because she doesn’t want control to be ripped out of her again. Things began to stabilize again.
The medic didn’t nod or congratulate her. He just started again, “Reconnect your core.”
What does that even mean? Jackie couldn’t help but to think, over and over, in many forms and iterations. But she had to.
She breathed, felt her midriff in different places, and pulled whatever was separated together using her core strength at the…lower part?
“Okay,” he said flatly, but not as monotone as River.
The idea that she wasn’t okay imbalanced Jackie’s mind once more. It was a different level of stressful pain, guilt being so strong, so overpowering when she tapped out at the normal levels she experienced it before.
“Now let your jaw settle riiight back in.”
She breathed in, then out. She breathed in, then out. She shuddered as she felt the jaw snap back, can’t help to hyperventilate because she didn’t know how she could breathe, versus knowing how to properly.
The medic got closer, stepped to the side of wherever Jackie was looking. Maintaining distance but becoming personal. His hair was shaggy, a dirty blond, but at least he put effort into shaping it into a hairstyle. Clean-shaven, but his beard already is showing signs of coming back. Had clear blue eyes, but they were intense, invasive that often looked away. He was spindly, but Jackie had no judgement with that. She’s sure she could bond with him over that… Overall, for every plus, there was a respectful minus, equaling out to a very average fellow.
…Jackie didn’t need any more thoughts gumming up her mind. Especially thoughts she hasn’t worked on or built a wall for.
“We can wait, we can wait…” he repeated. “There’s only a few more you have to go through, and I won’t lie, these are going to be very difficult. So, let’s catch a breath, rebuild the mindset. Think nice thoughts to ease the mind.”
Jackie couldn’t help but scoff at that mentally. She did use positive thoughts to pull strength within herself, and that only served to be a huge unguarded hit. And clearly, the wound is still fresh and tangible, among the dozens of physical ones. Maybe the approach has to be something more, something equal to face against this crazy thing.
Center herself? Clear the mind? Maybe let it all go…
She closed her eyes, what felt like minutes. She countered the breathes, until they became tame again. The number itself didn’t matter. She couldn’t worry about the exact amount, just the fear ease away from the passage of time.
She looked at the medic, indicating that she was ready.
“Click your joints straight.”
And she wasn’t ready, but she had to go for it…
Jackie tackled three joints at once, creating a sickening, crackling sound. She couldn’t twitch, she couldn’t writhe, because she needed proper joints to react apparently.
One at a time. Snap, snap, crackle, snap, twist, rejoint, smash that lead into a lock. Again, she should’ve felt relieved and in the clinical sense, she was.
The medic walked over back to the front again and that scared Jackie.
“One more thing. And it’s going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done so far in your life. You can’t stop this as soon as I say it, so there needs to be swiftness for the next one. I need you to trust me.”
Jackie met his intense gaze.
“…Screw your neck back into place.”
She couldn’t afford to think about that, not at all, not at all, she felt what was the source of her lack of communication and the horrible shape it’s in, can only watch her worldview spin around—jerk—and become twisted over and over, it took too long to do and yet couldn’t be done fast enough, and once she felt her neck connect back into her body, was she allowed to shout in object terror.
Jackie shot up, panting, hand rubbing her throat again and again. But no matter how much she shuddered, how much she audibly felt uncomfortable, it couldn’t go away. The very thing she was afraid of was both herself and the sort-called answer to all her current problems.
She came to when the medic clapped, spooking her further and all of the intuitive patient reading went out of the window.
“While I’m happy, both as a person and as a medical professional-in-training, that you’ve gotten through your terrible trail… I’m going to absolutely flame the series of life choices you’ve made to get here.”
He let his arms fall into his sides.
“Why? Someone like you, even skimming your history as briefly as I did, why someone like you?”
Jackie had everything back, including the use of her neck, and yet nothing came out. She looked to the side, both left then right, and then glance down her hands, which look just as alien as it felt having the special perspective on them.
The medic simply sighed, “Of course there isn’t an answer. You thought this was it, didn’t you?”
He wiped the air and the augmented control panel appeared. Through the clear and white buttons and frame, showcased him shaking his head as he did the action.
Without warning, hexagons piled together to form a camera-mirror that showed Jackie’s own face as she slowly looked up.
She was completely healed, seemingly, but that was the least of her problems. She wanted to blame the camera, which had a tendency that everyone has encountered but never voiced, that the definition outlined away too much. The outline of the skin, the detail of the pores, the crisp motion of the person so sharp it’s disconcerting. She wanted to blame it so bad, but she was sure that this is how she sees herself now, everything now. What ultimately got her, was the fact that her expression was so crestfallen, when she thought, she had all the control in the world to hide it.
But that was the normalcy.
Rings accented around each pupil. Puzzle-lite, keeping to the theme. Her blue eyes were crested with the mark for siVis, a pale frosted look with deep lines detailed across.
She really didn’t want to hear the nurse judge her more. She knew that she fucked up.
But apparently, his room-reading prowess was either just an act, or he cared so little outside of the work that he will go on. The nurse said, “To put it into perspective, you had a mild-to-severe concussion, broken bones--namely breaking your arm seven different places, near dehydration, torn muscles due to over-exhaustion, Shift warping and yet we have no idea where you all racked up this many injuries. And you did this for ultimately something that you already have. You nearly damaged yourself permanently, and you should be wary of that.”
Again, she couldn’t argue back, she simply nodded. Not looking at her face, can’t look at her face more than a few seconds that felt too long.
“Because hey,” he gestured again, raising his arms upwards. “You ultimately won. You got the thing you were after and it more or less held you together as the injuries took care of themselves. So, celebrate the fact that you got lucky, and didn’t become the next horror story, the next tragedy. And let me tell you; I feel like the world can only take a few more of those right now, remove your family being crushed by such out of the equation.”
He sighed again, wiping away the A.R.
“Oh yeah. I’m Leslie Homer, and I’ll be your nurse dealing with Shift and siVis related care for your stay,” Leslie added too little, too late.
Of course you’re a Leslie, Jackie groaned from within. Even the dig felt terrible.
“I can see you make a mean thought,” Leslie pointed at the side of the bed, the part that reached out further than the rest. “This monitors brainwave activity, y’know. Well, I did, you didn’t—”
“S…sorry,” Jackie formed the words, stopping because her lips moved before she did.
“I’m glad that you can talk well, too,” Leslie responded, walking towards one of the pristine walls. “Also, I’m not really the one that should get that apology.”
This is such a reversal of fortune, such a different scenario for Jackie. She could perfectly see herself saying exactly what Leslie was saying… Well, warmer and understanding of social cues, but she could do the less. The fact of he lacked any grace to his words, how unflinching they are and the fact that he was totally right made Jackie hate him more than she would’ve.
But then it gets swallowed whole. The feeling of hate, the wash of shame, all swirled into the overall sense of the thing building even before the incident, before the decision—the very thing that made her choose to do this.
Loss. Jackie honestly didn’t know what to do now, and the fact that she got the answer despite that…
Her wallowing made her miss watching Leslie get the canister in his hand, him turning the dial with the cranking wheel in the middle of the gun metal, slim tube.
“I’m going to put on a little story that has to be told. In fact, I’m obligated to do this for all my siVis victims,” Leslie shrugged. “I should use the term used in said ‘video’, but maybe it’s my personal views seeping in again. Are you uncomfortable with it?”
“…Un…Comfortable in the sense of I know how much I’ve messed up and it stings more than the mess I’m in…” Jackie said, defeated.
Leslie didn’t retort immediately. He tapped his foot, he looked at the canister, then up at the ceiling.
“…I’m not doing this, this whole spiel? To make you feel bad in the why you think I’m making you feel bad. I’ll elaborate after you’ve received this full disclosure.
…At least Jackie thinks and admires that he can think about what to say…
But she fell back into her bed, groaning, “I feel like an utter bad kid. Like I’m a bad kid and I’m watching a Drug PSA after getting caught with weed…”
“More like hardcore heroin or opium—buuuuuut personal views, personal views…” Leslie added not one second after Jackie accepted his gesture, like a handshake turned assassination. Up close, barrel straight into the chest. She somehow sunk onto the bed more.
With a swipe in the air, he commanded an overhead projector-scanner hybrid emerge. He aimed the inward lens directly into the way of Jackie’s forehead. He inserted the canister and then backed away, arms crossed.
Before the thought of “At least with this watch, I’ll get away from him”; Jackie was transported back in time as the stream of information poured directly into her brain.
The scene was set, before she could realize that she was sitting in a fine leather armchair. From the wooden inner decor, a roaring fireplace that lit a dim room warmly, trinkets with Spaniard design lining the walls up and down, with a white carpet with a black ring pattern; this was home more than the office Jackie realized it to be.
Notes were scattered across the carpet, textbooks of nearly everything at the time littered and filled corners. Markable drawing boards took over the walls more than the trinkets did, and a unmistakable sight gave Jackie enough clues to what exactly is going to happen.
A desk, that was more machine than it. Way too advance for the time period yet completely vague to even Jackie who lived in an “era” where the “technology” she known was modelled after it. The only one that could work it was sitting before her, back turned. The one that could make sense of this mess. The Mother Modern.
Dr. Gia Taber turned around to face Jackie, giving her a worn smile. “Hello,” she said. “You must’ve gone through a terrible thing, haven’t you?”
Or rather, her ghost, if one could say. Jackie heard about these Information Streams and only heard about them because of the one of many abandoned initiatives was to enhance learning about history by going on a historic, simulated experience. The Good Doctor flickered briefly, leading Jackie to wonder if figuring this out meant breaking the so-called illusion.
There was another thing, a tragic truth that more or less caused the designers to use this image of Dr. Taber. Everyone knew, even the non-history buffs unlike Jackie, that the Good Doctor worked herself not only ragged, not only ancient, but was heavily warped due to the effects of researching the Shifts. One…Of many, on that terrible day, shocks when she resurfaced before her death was the fact that she looked the way she did and not like how this Dr. Taber looked.
When her skin was soft and a chestnut brown, jet-black short-cut hair with a prompted fringe that was swept above her earthy, brown eyes. When she wore super causal clothes with a lab coat draped over her shoulders and her hands in the pockets. When she looked like her age, a young woman of 35.
Ironically, again, a look before she was caught within the disastrous Shift that changed the course of her—everyone’s—life.
“You look so tired!” she jovial said, before taking in a yawn.
Jackie smirked and it found itself unsteady, “It comes nowhere close to your standards of being tired, I assure you.” She knew it was some sort of program, and it on some level knows it’s a program as well. Why patch in authenticity especially for a person that never had the time to be with people? It’s not calming her down, and in some ways; is triggering the uncanny valley if she thought hard enough.
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Dr. Taber grabbed her baggie of assorted sweets, held it in her iconic way by its bottom and shook them at an airy, jiggle-driven rhythm, balancing the bag as it begun fall over each time. It would’ve been just a personal tick if said candy company, Avandale’s, didn’t turn it into a commercial, memetic gesture. She shoved the candies in her mouth and chewed softly while closing her eyes.
Gulping, she said, “The reason for the personality-driven narrative is that… Well, it’s rather easier to digest information when it’s on a conversional basis, yes? To summarize, break apart, discuss and digression; it is natural to talk about the unnatural this way, I feel.”
“True…” Jackie was forced to admit.
Dr. Taber scoffed at her next point, shaking her head as it leaned against her raised shoulder, “And people want things explained to them from people that are either masters, unparalleled and/or the creator. And unfortunately, I was all those three whatever I liked it or not.”
Past tense. That didn’t just make things even more weird…
Dr. Taber smiled, lifting her head and leaning forward towards Jackie with her crasped together hands on her lap. “What do you want to talk about first?”
Jackie promptly sunk into her chair. Not because the ghost created unease, but the fact that she had to voice something that was trapped inside, rattling inside and against her. That feeling that’s beginning to characterize her more than she cared to admit, that the question didn’t have to be materialized or thought over.
“Clarify siVis for me,” she found her face deep into her palm. “I thought I knew. I had my assumptions. They were right sure, but ultimately there’s something missing.”
“And what’s that…?” Dr. Taber asked.
Jackie wiped her face down with her hand, it being a trade versus nestling into her chair uncomfortably. “I clearly… I clearly missed what that truly meant. All of us did, I guess.”
It was odd, seeing her express a dark face, one of disappointed grimace that also she made an effort to hide. It was such a detailed and accurate take that she felt that Dr. Taber wasn’t exactly disappointed in her, or everyone. But herself.
What are its limits? How much truth is this molded from? Even then…What’s truth and what’s embellishment? With her life, is such a thing a possibly…?
“siVis,” Dr. Taber began, “Was founded by me, in both senses of the term. I was an anthropologist at a time where if you didn’t get into studies related to helping understand the Shift Noumena; you were shunned and even excommunicated from certain places. Heh… But, after my… accident, I realized the ruins that I found before the Shift, the information I decoded… Unlocked something within me. Something utterly new yet was always there, waiting.. And with this heightened enlightenment, it was the only way I recovered as much as I did. Began to understand the Shifts as much as I did. Many upon many runs we thought siVis came from space, or was residual Shift influence that can be channeled, many, many silly things… When the power came from me. What I had all along. My disguisable traits as a human and the ones I shared with humans. It simply showed me what I had all along, outlined and guided it for me.”
“Things I could have found on my own,” Jackie couldn’t help but to sound dejected, hallow. “Naturally. Thank you, Dr. Taber. I needed to hear that in words, about how absolutely dumb I am. I altered myself for something I could’ve just figured out had I sat down and thought for a second.”
The Good Doctor smiled with empathy. Worn, but a smile, nonetheless. “Hey. If anyone is to blame, it’s me who didn’t work hard enough to solve these problems. You kids inherited my sins and had nothing left to do…”
Jackie nodded. “I apricate the sentiment. I would like to talk about the inner workings, now I have to live with them, please.”
She nodded in return, “Of course. But I would like to say first to start; you need to heed the fact that self-respect is vital of keeping you and fellow Ones with siVis to maintain yourselves.”
Jackie stayed silent, just to accept the depths of self-hatred she stewed in, more than letting her talk.
“siVis can be just as much impressionable than it’s influential. It’s so intertwined with our emotional, physical and mental states that it can be just as fleeting, so it can be an accurate servant of expressing them. So, when you tear yourself down, degrade yourself, and be taken by the sway of self-destruction; it becomes tangible as well. Trying to walk that back can illustrate self-delusion as well, compounding the overall problem. For the sake of yourself, or even the fact that you want this problem not to evolve further, please. Accept that you’ve made a mistake, let it hurt and the pain ache. Let it and the experience become a defining moment. But never become it and it alone.”
Jackie paused before she responded and soaked in the words. Not just the mechanics of the powers, but the ideas it presented to her. “So, I’m not helping my case. Okay.”
The Good Doctor leaned in toward Jackie, with Jackie tensing until she looked down at Dr. Taber’s outstretched hand, the assortment of candy resting on her palm. She pointed then glided her finger above the various chocolates, nuts, flavored hard candies as she clearly made her point.
“People deem siVis to be magic, science, overall some sort of supernatural based power… And while it plays in each of those stereotypes, it really isn’t any of them all the same,” she pointed at the chocolate with the slight white chocolate icing swirl. “It’s far too detailed to be as mystical as magic,” she then hovered over the hard-shelled, rough chestnut. “But too absurd to conform to a steady base of logic or be put through the various methods of study, regarding science.”
“And it’s far too personal, too limited, to be considered wish fulfillment superpowers that can bend reality itself,” The Good Doctor took Jackie’s hand by the rest with her other and poured the candies into it. Using both her hands, she closed Jackie’s full hand into a fist gently.
“Keep in mind these words; ability, capability, maintainability, versatility and possibility. siVis takes cues, your cues, from these concepts and you in the end are able make them a reality. Magic, science, power; they are all too broad, too hard to pin down in the end and have their respective limits that are not your own. Remember, this is you being brought out, materialized. Keep it consistent with yourself.”
Dr. Taber shrugged, hands in the air, “But there will be some that will try to make siVis into magic, science and a power, maybe something new and beyond that, with or without heeding these words. And while it’s hard, it’s not impossible to do. But after the end of the experience, they’ll wonder if it was even worth it at all…”
She then rubbed her chin, “Or rather, they won’t care, and their hubris will be the in the shape of the very thing they created. Either or, it has a habit of working itself out.”
Jackie looked at the candies, swirling the bunch against her thumb, watching them melt under her simulated body heat. She wasn’t the one for sweets, it would lead into messing with so much all for a delectable taste. She wanted to voice that she doesn’t eat candy, but Dr. Taber literally forced her hand and she just can’t give them back, especially now. She maybe after the possibly weeks of recovery, she’ll work this and the other things off…
Then Jackie realized that this wasn’t real at all, and then shoved the candies into her mouth. A tasty mixed bag, from her first impressions.
Once she tried to crunch them, then the problem presented themselves. Rough, hard, yet soft at multiple, different points of her mouth. She soldiered through, but she had a wincing face as she did, before swallowing. And the Doctor had this for years?
She recomposed herself, sucking her chocolate covered fingers as she asked, “And these… Abilities…” From what Jackie’s seen, heard of, it was harder to swallow the fact that all of this is so personality and humanity based versus the candies, “What are they?”
“You’ll receive greater control of your body,” Dr. Taber recited, as if this was an elevator pitch she memorized, “Unlocked aspects of each of your senses and awareness. All coming together to allow surprising accomplishments and feats. Everything that is you, everything that you can do, and everything you never knew about you; all there now.”
Jackie scratched her head, “Right…”
“Trust me,” Dr. Taber smiled, “It’s insanity said out loud, but you’ll find yourself able to do those things and now what it means and how to do it. You’re a puzzle now, and you have to use your pieces as you see fit.”
Taber continued, “Of course, you have to discover this and see it for yourself…”
Jackie raised an eyebrow, squinted.
“You’re not going to teach me how…?”
The Good Doctor instantly shook her head, “No, I can’t. Any outside influence, including someone like me or your parents, will rule over your control. And when that breaks, when the flaws of such rear their head, you’ll be left defenseless towards the things we couldn’t see. All I can do is inform, because in the end, it’s up to you on how you process this…”
Jackie relaxed her face, but into the shape of worry. “So many warnings… Possible shortcomings by just using the damn thing…”
Dr. Taber rested a hand on her knee. “Don’t think about it as usage, okay? Your body isn’t a vessel…”
“Oh, trust me,” Jackie agreed with her on that at least, “My body is a tower of power with amazing marble columns and intricate tapestries. B-but I won’t, okay…”
“Good,” Dr. Taber smiled.
And Jackie couldn’t help to return a small, meek one. A caricature of societal idolization or not, it felt human. It felt healing, when she was reminded nothing but the pain since she woke up.
Dr. Taber then got up, withdrew her hand and stood up. She put her hands in her pocket as she walked back into her desk, her back towards Jackie.
“Well, I think we’ve made progress here,” she sounded distant, sitting down as she put her palms against the alien machine, “You seem to get your general questions answered. I’m afraid I can’t help with the rest.”
“B-but,” Jackie caught completely off guard, shooting up from her seat to look at her. “That’s all I need answered sure, but there’s still stuff left! You just can’t throw me out like this…”
Dr. Taber lowered her head, for a few moments. As soon as they were up, she begun operating it, Jackie can’t believe that a human hand can perform such movements. And like it’s appearance, the machine created noises, if they can be called that, beyond even her ears now programmed to pick up the beyond.
“You have to come to those conclusions, to find those answers, yourself. But don’t be disheartened because what we did here is progress. Take that, hold it close and keep it in mind because today, you’re one step closer. You already have the tools to help you; now formulate a plan. siVis will show you everything, even your mistakes.”
“…Formulate my plan…” Jackie was taken aback. But nevertheless, proving the Doctor’s point, something clicked into place.
Jackie snapped out of the mindscape, panting and looking side to side at first due to the subtle shock of it, winding down. She saw Leslie take the canister out of the projector as it slinked back into the ceiling, sealing up slowly, but machine-efficient. She shivered watching it, never getting used to Shift-related technology at all and the room felt even more boxed in.
She closed her eyes again and breathed. It was becoming a bit more natural to her.
“Mr. Homer, sir…” she began, prepping herself for the worst.
He didn’t respond, or even turned to her as he typed away on the A.R. interface at first. Jackie thought it was him being him, but she noticed from his profile that he was like Tracy, but different, maybe at the advance stage of the same school. Whereas she seemed to think over her words; Leslie was beginning to talk but stopped himself trying to shave down what he’s about to say.
“Please. Mr. Homer is your doctor and my dad,” Leslie sighed out. “Just Leslie. Make fun of it, but just know that you have a gun whereas I have a whole fleet to fight back with.”
“Okay, right, Leslie,” Jackie said. “…Where there…Other girls checked in here…?”
“Men, women and even children; sadly enough for that last one,” which sounded like a jerkish dig, but the tensing of his voice implied he’s not quite over that. The shift-warped boy was still clear in Jackie’s mind and he must’ve seen many. “You need to be more specific.”
“Right, sorry… Around my age? Possibly arrived whenever I did…?”
“And that narrows it down to… A couple of people tonight, who all are being transferred to the Shift Research labs as we speak and not even the one here.”
Leslie pushed a series of buttons and the room started to air out.
“Lucky for you, stupidity loves company,” Leslie presented Jackie what she wanted.
The white shells folded backwards into the walls of a regular, modern hospital room. Counters, computers, medical equipment where at the usual places… And curtains, right near Jackie’s bed. Leslie walked over, pulled them back, to reveal Maddie wearing a hospital gown, heads behind her head as she listened to music.
“OH MY GOD MADDIE THANK CHRIST,” Jackie exclaimed excitedly.
Even with the earbuds, Maddie jumped in her own skin, staring at Jackie before instantly softening… Then it turned back into the stare as she took them out, “I’m glad that you’re alive and all, like seriously I thought you were dead, and I don’t know how the fuck I was gonna handle that? But fucking hell, chill.”
She possessed the ghastly eye-rings too. It made the meeting a tad bittersweet.
“Sorry, sorry!” Not at all judging by the wide smile she was sporting, hands clapped together. “I’d hug you right now if I could!”
“And plunge my family into even more debt from the broken back you’re gonna give me?” Maddie inserted an earbud back, laying down again. “But yeah. 3 for 3, baby and I know it’s pure luck that I’m still breathing.”
Leslie pulled the curtain behind Maddie, revealing an Aiko wide-eyed, eye-ringed, deranged, gripping at the bars of her bed.
“THIS PLACE IS A PRISON,” she bellowed. “NO MOVEMENT, FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE ETERNITY!”
“Whhhhhy do you fucking people scream all the time?!” Maddie whined out comically. “I’m listening to Grunge and these guys’ yelling lyrics sound quieter!”
Aiko’s curtain was pulled back, revealing River on a different, but also completely damaged, PC.
“To be fair, it’s produced and mixed to be that way,” River pointed out, not looking up or at her. Possibly eye-ringed as well.
“Suck your old ass laptop’s dick, Glasses,” Maddie swatted back.
And finally, Tracy was revealed, looking upwards at the ceiling with an almost vacant look, eye-ringed.
“…You okay, Tracy…?” Jackie was concerned. All this, possibly taken away.
“…I am… Perfectly, in fact… But there’s no way that I’m going to pay for any of this—” Tracy said, eerily calm.
“Yeah,” Maddie agreed, “Our asses are already done, that just adds raw dirt to the wounds.”
Jackie breathed a sigh of relief, as she felt her eyes welling up, “I just… I can’t believe that we all made it—”
“So, you thought we were all dead and you survived?” Aiko asked, pausing her insanity.
“N-no!” Jackie shouted, “Just--!”
“Oooooh, sounds like it!” Maddie teased.
“Definitely did,” River added on.
“Might as well be,” Tracy resigned, that might’ve been an unmonitored slip up.
Jackie was going to fight back, berate them for thinking that… But only could laugh, earnestly, as she waved her hands.
“You got me~!”
Maddie smirked, hands behind her head. “So, I guess we all got that crash course?”
Jackie slowed to a stop, thinking about if they shared the same “dream”, but ruled it out. Maybe the room was sealed in such a way where they individually had a pocket Leslie or other nurses had to visit…?
“Yeah,” Jackie responded, and heard the others agree as well. “A lot to take in.”
“A lot of bullshit was what it was,” Maddie said flat out, but sighed. “But it’s my bullshit, now…”
“I understand it the same way I understand most philosophy,” River began. “…I somehow do.”
“Thank goodness, because I think I need another ‘smart phone cave man’ explanation…” Aiko admitted.
“…Yay siVis… Totally worth it…” Tracy raised a stiff thumbs up.
“Don’t you have insurance or something?” Maddie legitimately asked.
“Sure,” Tracy said, with no assurance at all.
“Still… What a whole mess, this has been… Can we even remotely salvage this?” Jackie mused, looking at her hands, every detail shown, outlined.
“Who cares?” Maddie answered. “We’re alive. That’s all that matters.”
“But it’s different, going to be different from now on.”
“It’s been different since, like, forever.”
“We’ve thrown our chances of normalcy away, for good this time.”
“We’ve established that we’re all freaks in our weirdo ways.”
“Our lives are going to be much harder, more intense and will overall suck now.”
“We literally ended up here because we knew how much our lives sucked, right?” Maddie glanced over at Jackie. “We’ll deal. I guess. Still alive, though.”
Jackie sighed, but still maintained a smile, “It’s pretty fun, ‘arguing’ with you.”
“Shittalking is literally the only thing I’m good at~”
“…Y’know, medical care and know-how aside,” Jackie gently ribbed.
Maddie was struck by that, and quickly closed her eyes, pretending to listen to music again from her bud, not responding at all. Jackie assumed that’s just her character and she was fine with it.
…But it was kinda weird, that she only recalled just that. Maddie’s helping, getting hurt… But the why being hazy…
This reunion distracted them from Leslie, who seemingly “vanished” only to “reappear” coming back into the room.
“I let you all have your moment,” he said, crossed arms. “So, do you all want to segue towards an awkward one with letting your families come in?”
Everyone performed their respective cringe.
“Oh my goooooood. Here comes Captain Buzzkill, doing his fucking job, unparalleled at his art,” Maddie whined, at least confirmed that he made his rounds with the others…
“Trust me,” Captain Leslie Buzzkill responded. “I can rant and talk up a storm and none of you could care less. But I’m sure whatever they’re going to say to you, even if it’s a ‘I’m so glad you’re alright’, is going to crush you. So that’s why I asked.”
Why must you be so hard to make a call on? Jackie in her thoughts, once again revising them.
The girls stewed in the silence until they heard Leslie say, “Up to you.”
Jackie planted her elbows and rose up, looking to the rest of the girls, searching their expressions. And from the display, she didn’t even need to confirm that she was wearing the same one, her version of it. She lowered herself back down to the bed, sighing.
“You may…” Jackie looked to the side.
Leslie nodded, opening the door for the flood of bodies. The crowd found, darted for, and hovered over their respective location.
What was before Jackie were her loving, dutiful parents. Her giant of a dad, much taller than her somehow, broad in every sense of the word that his black winter, puffy sweatshirt made him somehow huger of a man. And despite all that grisliness, his blue eyes were warm, his stubble covered smile soft. His face was something she recognized, when he felt pity. Her mother was tiny by comparison, wearing a tight long-coat that was brown. Her hair was neat and prim considering, having a straight fringe that was above her purple, round glasses frames. Her normally neutral, professional face was overwrought with relief as she saw her daughter again.
Jackie waved, with a mixed smile of her own, “Hey Mom. Dad.”
“We’re so happy that you’re okay…” Jack Sr. said, in his rather youthful voice.
“Yeah…” Jackie looked down, then away. “I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.”
“Dear…” Dawn said, in her motherly tone, complete with subtle head tilt.
“No, I messed up. Completely, utterly messed up. I don’t deserve any…Empathy or whatever.”
She blinked back the tears, looking directly at them even if she couldn’t see them clearly. “And what’s more, I betrayed you both. I lied. I ruined years’ worth of trust, and for what in the end?”
They were nothing but blurred multiples of circles of different sizes, and yet she could still make out her father holding his wife tight while she wiped her eyes.
Jackie croaked as the emotion stilled itself in her throat, “Punish me however you see fit. All I can even hope to do is beg for your forgiveness as I’m on it.”
She then felt the familiar large thumb that gently made tears go away. It’s been years since they did that.
Jack was close to her, leaning in from the side, eyes welling and red, “All that stuff is fine and good; we’ll worry about it when we worry about it. But now? What we want you to do, baby girl? We want you better. And that’ll make the pain go away more than anything.”
Dawn nodded, with a face covered with wiped tears of her own, “And that’s an order, if you truly want one.”
Jackie wanted to cry for a different reason with a different set of emotions, but only nodded in return, “Understood…”
“Things…” Jack started, “Things… Are going to be fine. We’ll figure it out. I’ll soak up anything and all siVis…whatever if that means making this work.”
He turned his head and saw Leslie at the door still, and turned to him without missing a step, “Hey son--!”
Dawn sighed her usual one, and quickly looked to Jackie, “Don’t worry, we’ll be right back in… 20 minutes? I’ll do my best to cut it to 15:78.9, but I’m not a miracle worker…”
Jackie laughed, “It’s fine, it’s fine…”
With her parents pre-occupied, she turned her attention to Maddie’s side of things. It was almost what she expected.
The male was balding, his greasy locks hanging from around the spot that still had strings of hair futilely trying to reconnect. Portly, wearing a navy and brown waistcoat and slacks combo. He looked like a man who’s seen it all: the perfect complement from what Jackie could gleam from Maddie as a person.
“…Mind telling me what happened or…?” he began, Jersey accent that’s not strong, but present.
“I did something incredibly dumb,” Maddie stated matter-of-factly, that smirk of hers.
He raised his hands from his pockets with a smile of his own, but more…bemused, versus whatever Maddie has in her mind, “Deeetails…?”
“Listen Frank,” Maddie could only chuckle this out, “I can’t even describe whatever the fuck happened, you’re outta luck man.”
“Jesus, Madison…” Frank sighed out, a phrase he said with perfect utterance, practiced. “I’m glad that you’re not fucked up, but you’re not leaving me with anything. The whole neighborhood’s asking about you and what they saw of you.”
“Tell ‘em that I’m basically more interesting and better than them now,” Maddie joked. Jackie hoped it was, “Oh and I’ll survive when everyone else gets turned into the schumucks outta a scary movie.”
His face continued to be bemused until it fell serious. He rubbed the back of his neck, before sighing, “…Want me to tell your parents or-?”
“Tell them anything, I don’t give a shit,” Maddie said way too fast to be nonchalant.
“Thought so. Just wanted to give ya’ a heads up.”
Jackie decided to bail from that, she can’t get too personal… She cranked up her awareness and looked towards Aiko’s spot and the rest why there was a crowd was answered.
Too sharp, too soft, it was still a chore to turn the knobs of something that once was something imaginary—or so automatic and beyond her that it pretty much had to be. She had to close her eyes shut, grinding her teeth until she figured it out. She opened her eyes again, clearly missing deadair, from what she’s tuned into.
Her mother, father, and three siblings was around her, with the girl of their hour simply was fiddling with something else on her bed. Not meeting their eyes akin to Jackie? Or…Just not interested in talking with them?
The other siblings, one no younger than 5, one 12 and the other 9, all boys. They talked with one another, played with the bed themselves, and overall made noise before the parents found their nerve.
“…Hi, honey…” her elderly father carefully greeted her, thick Japanese accent.
“Hi,” Aiko returned and only returned.
The couple could only look at each other, expressions wrecked with unease.
“…I hope that you are okay,” her father continued. “We were every worried that it was something worse like warping. At least… You have a very interesting power to you, now.”
“Can you fly?” the younger brother chimed in.
“Could you be like a Kamen Rider or like a superhero?” the second youngest asked right after.
“Are you just dead now?” the oldest inquired morbidly.
Their mother tapped her foot loudly, to get them to settle down. Business shoes, as both were wearing dress shirts with their suits off; draped in the mother’s arms and over the shoulder with her dad. Both with salt and pepper hair and generally the same size, but the father beats her by mere inches.
“But now that this is over with… Maybe stay home more? Maybe take this as a sign?”
Aiko sighed loudly, annoyingly, and made it long. “If this is about being afraid of me or taking things to a new level…”
“Exactly what we’re worried about,” her mother said, again putting her foot down, without doing it.
Aiko again sighed dramatically. “Fine. As I recover, I’ll be at home and we can talk about it, I guess.”
The couple looked at each other again, torn.
Aiko’s father caved all the same, “Thank you…”
Jackie winced, and it wasn’t because she was holding on for too long—whatever that meant, and she let go. She can only hope for the best as she homed in on River.
“…I’m not going make this into a thing about your…whatever it is you’re going through,” he continued, failing to be professional with the sheer annoyance with his voice. “Not even going to make this about work, that in fact, they called me during an important rush. It’s mom and dad. They’re worried sick.”
Whoever was before her was disappointed. Just before the bed, stand-offish in body language and in expression. He had work clothes on, skinny, with long brown hair, and not the colorful hazel River has and glasses of his own, but not broken like River’s. He shook his head as River returned with it her usual look, somehow emptier.
River only stared up at him. Seemed like she was only doing just that, so far.
“And I know you know what that means, because all that smarts you got in there. I know, I know, ‘but you’re not’. Either way? They could be in here next and unlike you with your new superpowers, they might not handle it. So please. If you don’t have any self-respect left for yourself; at least get better for them. And me.”
“Sure,” the word barely came out of River’s throat, it rumbled with hurt.
Jackie tried to seek refuge in Tracy’s place and yet nobody was there with her. She only looked up at the ceiling, hands across her stomach, wearing a face mixed with anger and sadness. Jackie couldn’t hear much, this could be the end of her rope with this, but she could hear bits of her muttering. “I knew it”, repeated.
Jackie snapped back, just in time for her parents to return to her. Their patient and kind smiles meant so much more to her, now.
“Your nurse said that all he needs is another look over and plug the stuff in,” Jack said, with a smile. “Then, you’re discharged. We’ll be back home.”
“Sounds good…” Jackie said, sensing the tangible instances of pushing the “we’ll figure it out” narrative. “See you soon. And really, thank you. You guys are the best.
Her parents waved, exiting out before Leslie got to issue the announcement to clear the room. What was a room of many resized back to six. Jackie glanced quickly at each girl; Maddie returned to her music to clear her mind, Aiko looked annoyed as she made her own fun, River with a distant look and Tracy alone and unmoving.
“You all better be glad that you have someone,” Leslie cut in, per usual, as he held the open door. “Hopefully you’ll figure things out and help them along in that, you owe that much to them.”
“Can you like—eat your own tongue and wash it down with the blood that comes spray out?” Maddie opened her eyes and her permanent scowl was pushed further, indicting that she really is. “And hey, you know how to stop that, so you won’t die after.”
Leslie rubbed his face, as if he had the decency to be angry, “I’m not going this, saying it? Just because I enjoy kicking people when they’re down: but telling them things when they are. It’s harsh, and to be honest, I’m incredibly anti-social so I don’t know how to conversate well. But take it from someone that’s your own age—”
“Whoa, you’re 17?” Aiko sat up.
“Yeah no Safari; I am fucking with you there,” Maddie agreed.
Leslie shrugged, “18, going on 19. Turns out the world needs medical help and can’t afford pickyness. A lot of medical help. During these times and me being a genius sort of helps me along. Anyways. You guys honestly are the most put together siVis ones we’ve had in a year so far. Only you. So, don’t take this as me bitching at you; take this as something you have to keep in mind and use.”
A terrible scream was rushed into the hallways, Leslie had to look.
Two doctors were wheeling in an out-of-shape teen, absolutely in pieces. He didn’t know where he was, maybe not even who judging how each piece of him was misshaped and dark. He can only wriggle his head wildly, the only part of him that fit properly on the gurney.
They were a blur, but Jackie and the girls saw enough. And before Leslie could say something, his face in a pitiable grimace, the female doctor screamed at him, “LESLIE, ALL HANDS UNTIL WE’VE CALMED HIM DOWN!”
Leslie shouted that he’ll be there, before turning to the girls again with this, “See?”
At once, all of them nodded.
Leslie was in a hurry to say the next bit, before he darted off, “So after I’m done with this; strip, all of you—I’ll be feeling each of you out before you go—”
Jackie blinked, rapidly before she shakingly turned to the girls, always dumbfounded with wide eyes, it fucking feels like. Being hit by two cases of mortal terror was not good for her health.