My life seemed like a sequence of droll waves endlessly battering against walls of ineptitude. A murky dream brought about by my inclination towards a lifestyle of monotony. I sometimes doubted whether it was all real or not. The heavy weight of reality never set upon my mind in all the time that I've lived my life. But now, suddenly faced with burdens unbearable by body and mind, I couldn’t help but let go of any attempt to muster out a struggle. Returning back to where my means of travel died out, I too collapsed from fatigue built upon hours of moving with no manner of direction. Not wanting to face the cause of my ruin, I meekly shifted my head upward to let my face be baked in the warm embrace of my maker and my end.
Peering out in the vast expanse of the sky, I watched as flurries of white fairies slowly drifted down upon the field of my vision. The fairies kissed my skin leaving the sting of their merciless cruelty with every touch. I surrendered myself to the fairies, letting them sink their tendrils into my body, if only to free my spirit a little bit quicker. Unnerving pain glazed over my skin causing throbbing pulses and echoes to feed on my conscious. As my senses retreated to the deepest recesses of my body, my extremities laid limp and lifeless as the unkindled flame that was my life had been extinguished. I couldn’t help but close my eyes in bliss as the pressure that pressed my body against cold earth released swift and sure.
I wasn’t a god fearing man, but I at least acknowledged that good deeds brought good fortune. My patron’s kindred spirits defined my soul and filled it with their pervading adulation. Supported by my mother and aunt, as a man I couldn’t help but admit I did have a soft spot in my heart for the ladies. Hopefully my virtuous upbringing and good ethics will cover any retribution that is brought about by the brief moments where I deviated into debauchery. Maybe fate will even smile favorably upon me in my next life; one can only hope and pray for what might or might not be.
In darkness I waited; a few moments more and yet nothing happened. confused, I quizzically opened one eye to look at my surroundings. As if to mock my death, I awoke in a land that could only be considered the polar opposite of where I died, a far cry from my expectations. Gold sands and euphoric verdure, a fairy garden in the middle of calm blue radiance. Soft, silken grass and a bountiful feast of flora for the eyes. The flowers drew their way into my mind, loosening the bindings on my heart. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the true abode of Adam and Eve. Perhaps this was all an elaborate test, to see if I would touch the forbidden fruit, to tempt fate. Hands clutching elbows, pacing to and fro, contemplating deeply upon the meaning of all this, I noticed a refraction of light cross my face. Concentrating on where the light came from, I realized that I wasn’t alone.
With tip toed steps I silently trudged along while calculating with the utmost caution. This was a fragile situation, my mind fought to turn back against this unknown entity. Coming close behind this creature of uncertainty I noticed it was a young lass leisurely laying on a lounging chair, sipping iced tea while deluged by lustrous specks of illumination . Bending over to steal a look at what the miss was doing, simultaneously she lifted her face until she met my eyes. As If my soul was stolen by her gaze, I paused in place. I couldn’t help but wistfully wonder what such an alluring lady was doing alone on this heavenly island. And then it hit me, literally! She punched me and said something about the rudeness of staring at a lady. This brawny beauty must be a goddess, the only thing that I could rationalize to fit the situation I was currently in.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“Hello stranger, welcome to the garden of Eden!” She said with a cheerful tone of glee in her voice. Not wanting to seem simple minded, I composed myself and presented my best gentleman’s bow. “ It is my pleasure to be able to experience ethereal beauty such as this.” I replied calmly. Surprised at the unexpected manners, with a wave of her arm she beckoned me over. Bringing myself closer, she put her glossy lips mere inches from my ear. “ I have a surprise for you.” She whispered with no hint of malice in her voice. Moving a few steps back to look at her face to face, “What is it?” I questioned with no attempt to hide the obvious curiosity and excitement that came over me. Nonchalantly she held her arm out towards me, where upon a small delicately wrapped gift box appeared. Shocked at the sudden appearance of an object in her hand, I looked towards her face for confirmation. With a trivial bobbing of her head, she motioned for me to take the box and open it. Quickly I snatched it , undoing the delicate ribbons that embellished the exterior. However, inciting my curiosity furthermore, what was revealed upon the opening of the box was another box, slightly smaller yet not one bit less extravagantly decorated. With desperation to unearth what was hidden in layers of mystery, I quickly opened it only to find...another box!
I looked back at the beauty as if to question the meaning of such a thing only to find her giggling quietly to herself. “ What is the point of this?” I inquired with no lack of irritation evident to the eyes. “It was quite amusing to see the reaction on your face. I don’t get to have much fun with all my work, although I’m going on a vacation soon.” Interested in what line of work a fine lady such as herself could be doing, I asked “ What is it that you do?” Suddenly her face contorted, the corners of her mouth raised to the lower ends of her ears, eyes beaming as if she just heard the answer to all her prayers. Eccentrically she put her hands together and raised her arms drawing a parabola where at the peak a herculean hammer of cataclysmic proportions appeared. Shocked at the towering hammer of inhuman size, I stumbled back a few steps before I tripped, landing on my rear end. “This” She replied casually, as she sharply brought down the hammer. The word reached my ears but didn’t have time to register in my mind before I blacked out, returning once more to the void.
Thinking about what just happened I couldn’t help but mutter, “From the cradle to the grave, all I experience is misfortune.” Truly, to have died twice in one day, an unimaginably rare occurrence only one who was ill-fated could suffer. At Least there is no lack of excitement in my life. When driven to despair, one can’t help but try to look on the bright side of things.
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