Novels2Search
Phantasm
Volume 2; Chapter 17: Inner Turmoil

Volume 2; Chapter 17: Inner Turmoil

The party managed to make up for the time spent dealing with the Velathrian knights. The sun began to set, prompting the party to use the last bit of light to set up a camp. The sun having fully set and the stars beginning to show themselves, everyone sat around the campfire that Mylon and Baz made. While the meat cooked above the flames, Baz and Mylon began to talk about some of the more lighthearted, stupid, and frankly absurd situations they found themselves in prior to meeting everyone.

Baz chortled about how Mylon managed to get himself tied up and hanging from a church tower. Only to have Mylon chuckle about how he was up there with him. And, With the occasional retort and brief verbal jab thrown between Aislin and Baz, it appeared nearly everyone was having a great time. However, Zycor sat alone, staring into the flames, lost deep in his own thoughts. Softly speaking under his breath, Zycor asked, “What do you think, is what we have been doing really so wrong?”

“I suppose it is a matter of perspective. I am certain Liz also felt the pain of losing everyone, just not as severely as we felt it.” Zweicor answered.

“I agree with you… but,” Zycor paused momentarily, tightly interlocking his fingers he continued, “I had never once considered how others may have been affected by my killing. How many… how many fathers did I kill? How many mothers?”

“Zy, there is no point in thinking about it now. We can’t change the past. Besides, it’s not like they were ignorant of the risks when they began a fight to the death. It is certainly a tragedy for those that are left behind, but they were trying to kill us! What, were we supposed to just sit back and let it happen?”

Gritting his teeth, Zycor whinged, “But that’s just it! In the beginning it was life or death considering the disparity in our strength. But what about now!? What about on our journey!? Every knight we either went out of our way to find or were faced with, how many were actually strong enough to warrant a life or death response?!”

Zweicor remained silent, unable or, perhaps, unwilling to answer. Zycor’s head drooped down into his hands, his palms covering his eyes as he continued to grapple with his own actions. Liz could feel the inner turmoil he was going through, but knew there was nothing she could do. She had said what she needed to, and it was up to Zycor at this point to come to terms with it. “Are you really just going to sit here and not do or say anything to him?” Aisha queried.

“There is unfortunately nothing for me to say. This is something he will have to work through on his own.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. Of course I want to comfort him and tell him everything is and will be alright, but that would be wrong. As his… as someone who cares about him deeply, it would be irresponsible to get in the way of his development. Intervening now would only serve to lessen the realization that his actions were wrong, or at the very least excessive.”

Aisha, clenching her fist, protested as quietly as she could, “I think that is a load of crap! I understand that you may have known him longer, but you have not actually been around him nearly as long as any of us, especially me! You have a sound argument, I grant you that, but it is not applicable to Zycor! If you knew the current him and how he has developed to deal with things, you would understand that what you are doing will have the opposite effect! He will shut himself off from everything and everyone until… until he won’t accept help from anyone. He will decide to shoulder every burden himself. Every. Single. One.”

Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

Lizali went to defend herself, but no words came out. She had lost his battle. Smirking, Lizali conceded, “You have got me there. He always did try to take everything on himself to save everyone else the trouble. It is both comforting and disconcerting to know that part of him is the same.”

“If you understand, then you should get off your butt and do something!”

Shaking her head, Lizali remarked, “I don’t think it is right for me to be the one to comfort him at the moment. As much as I would love to, I think you should do it.”

Aisha, upset, went to chastise Lizali for not taking responsibility, but stopped short. Catching a glimpse of Zycor slumped over and on the verge of another mental breakdown, Aisha stood up and began to walk over to him. As she passed Lizali, Aisha huffed, “Coward.”

Lizali, still with a slight grin on her face, looked towards the now twinkling night sky and sighed, “Coward, huh? I suppose you would not be too far off of the mark.”

Aisha stood in front of Zycor, who had not noticed her yet. After some deliberation on the best course of action, she decided to take a seat next to him. Looking towards the night sky, she wondered, “Hey, Zy, do you remember when we were younger and you ran away to the top of that cliff overlooking the city?”

Zycor remained silent, showing no signs of either listening or not. Aisha continued, “I asked you if you had family and, after some perspective sharing, you agreed. I know I hadn’t included myself in that question, but to me you are just as important to me as my own family. And as such, I want you to know this pain you feel, it is not something you have to shoulder alone. Family is supposed to help each other, especially when a member is going through a really rough patch.”

Finally saying something, Zycor said, “But neither you, nor anyone else, should be forced to bear the weight of my own guilt.”

“But we are not being forced to.” Aisha stated.

Zycor’s head raised slightly, his hands no longer touching. Aisha put her hand on Zycor’s back and continued, “Remember when I had my suppression ring taken from me and all of the townspeople surrounded me? If I remember correctly, that happened because I ran away from you, not wanting to share my burden. And if I, again, remember correctly, it was you who showed up despite my wishes to save me. You took on my burden not because you had to, but because you wanted to, so it would be even just a little easier for me.”

Zycor shakily chuckled, “Heh, yeah, I seem to remember you crying at the end.”

Aisha’s face went red as she recoiled and spluttered, “I-I think you need your memory checked, I a-absolutely did not cry!”

His hand now on his knees, Zycor chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, I think you are right, won’t you check my memory more thoroughly, Professor Aisha.”

Both Zycor and Aisha remained silent for a few seconds. Finally, both of them began to laugh softly. “Thanks, Aisha.” Zycor said with a refreshed tone.

Lizali watched the two of them talk and get along with a pained smile on her face. “Are you sure this is what you wanted?” Nalea questioned.

“No, it’s not what I wanted. But, I believe it is for the best. Aisha was right, she knows the current Zy far better than I do.”

Briefly pausing, Lizali affirmed her resolve, “But she is out of her mind if she thinks that will continue to be the case!”

Nalea nodded and returned to patrolling the campsite. After making it to a place she could oversee the entire camp, Nalea watched as everyone came together to share their meal and stories. Focusing in on Zycor, Nalea gave a soft smile and muttered, “Well, Lady Adria, it’s as you had hoped. You would always go on and on about how worried you were about him. ‘What if he doesn’t find people he can trust?’ ‘What if he is unable to come to terms with what he will do?’ Heh, you always did worry far too much on the ‘what if’s…’ But look at him now, he is surrounded by people who care so deeply for him.”

She paused, as even she had to take a moment to recompose herself, overwhelmed by emotion. She continued, “Please rest easy, my only friend, your child is in good hands.”