The sound of clanking gears and rolling wheels echos, their ever-presence a torturous reminder of the predicament I now find myself in.
My body lay in shambles all around me, an arm here, a kneecap over there, I think that's my spleen on top that table over yonder. Oh and can't forget that foot, it was a great foot honestly. I remember scoring the winning goal in my high school Soccer championship thanks to it.
But enough about all that, lets talk a little about me, myself, and I and my other eye over there being played with by a mechanical crab.
You see, up until about, lets say, 3 hours ago? That sounds about right. I was your mild mannered reporter Peter Parker... No, not that one, but my name was Peter, Peter Parkinson, nice to meet ya. Odd name Parkinson, not to be confused with the disease, apparently it means "Steadfast" or "like a rock" or something along those lines.
But that's neither here nor there like my misbegotten shinbones, wherever those may be.
Where was I? Oh yes, 3 hours ago.... well, technically 3 and a half but who's counting.
I was just doing my job reporting on a collapsed building, poor foundation or something along those lines. An obvious cover story given the giant metal rod sticking out the side.
Pretty sure that's not standard building material. That and also the men in black standing at every corner leading to the building.
Pretty sure support beams don't glow either. But what do I know. I only have a minors in architecture and spent most of my days in shop class's, before I found my true passion in reporting for the CNM News.
Honestly I would have been content with that much, taking a few photos, a selfy or two, and back home with me to write up the report for Sundays segment on "You won't believe it!"
A gimmick the station started forcing on the team a few months ago as a desperate ploy to try and keep us relevant here in the height of the digital era.
But unlike Mr. Paddington the cutest and most majestic of overlords, my cat. I am neither built for stealth, nor spry escapes.
Of course I would be thinking of Mr. Paddington while a gun is being pointed at me not more than 10 yards away.
I put up a good effort though if I do say so myself. I managed at least to dodge the first few shots.... well, at least that is to say none of them hit anything too important as I ran for my life.
Of course some may say running towards the massive, did I mention it was glowing? hunk of metal being guarded by who knows how many black suits with guns, wouldn't exactly be considered the wisest of choices.
But, in my defence. Giant hunks of metal, glowing though they may be. Tend to block bullets better than a cheep reporters outfit and a solid silk tie, which sadly, is not solid enough to stop bullets.
I managed to hunker myself behind the... you know it really needs a name now doesn't it. UFO? no it definitely doesn't seem like a thing that can fly. UO is too short. How about the Un-Identified Glowing Bulwark... no, Perseus’ Orbital bombardment Shield? Ancilia Descends? Svalinn's glow-stick?
Unfortunately, I never did come up with a name for it. Though I'm sure that you would agree "Guardian Shield of Ares" would have been a great name... That is, if it weren't for the stray bullet that ricocheted off it's side right into my chest.
luckily for both you and me, turns out dripping blood on the giant glowing hunk of space metal seems to have triggered it. I know I definitely would react to someone dripping blood all over me too that's for sure. Though I wouldn't exactly say I'd ripple like jello and suck the poor bastard inside me. I don't swing that way bucko. Though Giant Glowing Orbital Bombardment Magic Pikes, apparently do.
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Honestly I expected something, you know, a bit more showy inside. But all I see is black, black and oh wait is that? Nope, still just darkness all around.
Wait I think I feel something, round, smooth, kinda feels like jello... please don't tell me I'm about to meet a Tsundere. Ahh wait, It rolls!
"Phew! Don't scare me like that."
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A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
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Voice Registered!
Registering unknown user!
Error, Oddity detected.
ANALYSING, Please hold!
Report: Internal hemorrhaging detected
Report: Blood loss critical!!!
Initiating Emergency protocols!
"Say what now? Gah!"
Blinking a few spots away I can finally see where I am. I'm apparently on a segmented recliner like chair that totally doesn't give off "Alien control seat" vibes. Though now it gives off more of a "Alian dissection table" vibe what with it being covered with my blood and all.
Emergency medical systems initialized!
Please remain calm!
Infrared Scanning! 16%
Ultra-Violet Scanning! 13%
M-A Scanning! 27%
Initializing Ultra-sound Inspection!
Let's not think about alien dissection tables and focus on something more, uh, well anything else really. Like screens appearing in front of me... are these holograms? Wait, are they in English? Ahh only mostly. Must have been analysing my language first. These aliens really thought of everything didn't they... well. Everything but a better, less building shaped landing zone for their apparent crash landing.
But it does seem they thought to include the Iconic alien probing arm. Wait... Wait wait hold up!
Of course, the thing couldn't hear my thoughts, or if it could it opted to ignore them as it brought the bulbous vibrating thing closer to my waist.
I had half a mind to try and dodge, but honestly all my limbs had gone the way of sleepsville at least a minute ago. Blood loss tends to have that effect on ya. Or is it just the shock? either way, my body isn't listening to me all that well right now.
The Vibrotron-9000, as I've decided to call it, luckily, did not go passed my stomach and just seemed content with giving me tingly tummy rubs and prodding the areas around my gun shot wounds.
Detecting Copper fragments 635
Detecting Bone fragments 236 Detecting Major organ failure!
Well that definitely isn't good.
Initializing Emergency Treatment!
Implementing Anaesthesia, Please remain calm.
We wish you a successful surgery.
And of course they have a needle arm.
Why do they always have needle arms...