For a long time, I was only surrounded by white, like I was text on an otherwise blank sheet of paper. I never questioned it, because I couldn't. My thoughts had no rhyme or reason. I could hardly even be considered alive. It was like I was still a fetus, but I knew that wasn't the case because I was fully grown. I remember walking through that endless void with no sense of direction. My thoughts had the complexity of a piece of corn. Perhaps I was only dreaming in my coma, or perhaps I was really there in that limbo. Either way, it wouldn't matter when I woke up, so I decided to disregard those exhausting years. However, if there was one emotion I did feel in that place, it was probably despair.

By the time I opened my eyes, my surroundings changed very little, as I was cozily resting under white hospital sheets. The room was of course much more detailed than emptiness, but it was still quiet. The only noise I could make out was near the door, like rushing water. It was incredibly therapeutic, to the point where I thought about going back to sleep. Instead, I twisted my head rather uncomfortably, and spotted the source of the noise.

There was a young girl, but still old enough to be considered an adult. She was standing in front of a sink with a vase. She'd taken the flowers out, probably to refill the water. She was tall with black hair, wearing it in a ponytail. Her attire was modest and rather monotonous, not being very vibrant or eye-catching. Her lack of bright colors matched the depressing room perfectly. It felt as if it was the only place in the world, and I thought if I left it I'd return to that endless void again. I didn't say anything to her, and instead observed her curiously. I wasn't quite sure how to communicate, and my muscles ached. It took so much effort to move my jaw that I didn't bother at all. I also wasn't sure what I wanted to say in the first place.

After a long while, she placed the flowers back in the vase. She turned around, only noticing me staring at her after making it halfway to my bed, before she stopped in her tracks. For a brief moment, she looked startled. That expression didn't last long, as her face began to flip through many different emotions at the same time, confused with what she was really feeling. Tears started to stream down her face, but I still wasn't sure what emotion she was trying to express. Still, she did not stop sobbing, and after a period of standing there in disbelief, she set the vase down on my bedside table, dropping to her knees. She clenched my unmoving hand in her own, pressing it to her forehead, and rested her trembling arms onto my bed.

I was nothing short of confused, wondering who this woman was, or even who I was. I hadn't stopped to think about it. I laid there, indifferent to my condition. There was certainly a level of awareness in my mind to my situation, but I was so disinterested that I didn't acknowledge it at all. The only thing I could compare the feeling to would be the feeling you get in a waiting room. The difference was that there was a stranger crying over me.

I felt like a shell of a person. My only memories were of an endless nothingness, so in that moment, those were the memories that defined me. I was a person who knew and felt nothing. It was as if my mind had rejected me and demolished my identity.

A while after this girl started wailing, a couple more strangers invited themselves into my room. They looked to be staff that worked at the hospital rather than visitors. Strangely enough, they wore the same expression as the girl before me, but with less waterworks. I could only assume that she knew me, and perhaps formed a personal relationship with me. Unfortunately, I couldn't put my finger on it. I was definitely infatuated with this person and inclined to learn more about them, but I was confused because I had no memory of her.

My apathy was slowly but surely transforming into another emotion. I couldn't place it, but all I knew was that I didn't want to pull my hand away. I would've struggled if I wanted to move it regardless, but I felt secure. It didn't feel as if I were chained up. It made me feel safe rather than restrained. I wasn't sure how long it went on for, but I was content with how things were. Her hand felt warm, and I felt cold. Letting go would have deeply upset me.

Regrettably, I would be empty handed weeks later, in the midst of October. I was almost fully recovered from my coma, but still quite scrawny. My memories also slowly came back to me over the course of my return, explaining many questions I had. Despite that blank purgatory taking up much of my life, I was beginning to learn more about who I used to be, and so too did my original identity begin to return to me.

The girl who I'd woken up to had taken me into her care as soon as I was healthy enough to leave the hospital. Her name was Dawn, and she turned out to be a childhood friend that I used to spend a lot of time with. I was able to recall bits and pieces, but most of it was foggy at best. She explained to me how I went into a coma one day for no reason. I dropped to the ground while we were out camping and I didn't get back up. I didn't know the science behind comas, so I didn't ask much more about it. I was just grateful that I was back.

As well as Dawn's, I also learned my own name, Iris. I was a rather short girl with brown hair that barely passed my shoulders. It seemed like I hadn't grown at all since I was a kid. I had peculiar red eyes, but they weren't exactly unheard of. Some religious nuts from the Church of Color claimed they were of some significance because they were rare, but they weren't even as uncommon as some other colors. Red eyes were especially common in Oculus, so it was probably the fact that I woke from a coma that they were so eager to create conspiracies about me. I didn't exactly have any prophecies to tell.

Dawn's eyes were orange, which were very in theme with the autumn season. Despite the beautiful orange leaves decorating the wilderness, she didn't seem to be the type to go out very often. That wasn't to say she was a hermit. She was reserved at times but certainly not shy.

I lived on an island called Oculus, otherwise known as the oldest city in recorded human history, if you disregarded religious beliefs. The island itself was an independent country, but it was so small that there wasn't room for multiple cities. It was still heavily populated and the central part of town was dense. As expected, it thrived mainly off of tourism, despite it not being overly impressive with its scenery. It was actually pretty bland and there wasn't much to do, but it had history.

As for the rest of the world, I found myself extremely confused about it despite having it explained to me several times. There were eleven other countries on our planet called Vega, some dotted around the mainland and others on separate islands, but some of the world was completely unexplorable due to a gravitational barrier surrounding us. It was only until satellite imagery came along that we could even see what the rest of our planet looked like, and for a long time humans didn't even know what shape the planet was. The Church of Color already guessed it was a sphere, but I figured they just got lucky.

Even after my memories came back to me and I was no longer an amnesiac, there were a lot of confusing truths to our world. Since I was busy moving in with my old friend and getting used to my life again, I didn't have much time to worry about the rest of the world. My first impressions of Dawn's second floor apartment was that it was cramped and plain, but not unpleasant. It was on the cheap side but she cleaned up after herself, so it was still a cozy abode. I was to sleep on a futon in the living room, since there was only one bedroom. We may have been childhood friends, but things weren't exactly the same, especially with both of us grown up. One of us, anyway.

Despite my body going through little change, my mind surprisingly outgrew it. I wasn't a stupid child per se, but for someone who had been in a coma for half of their life, I knew a lot more than I should have. Because of this, I was able to enroll into high school with no issues. I'd already shown a basic knowledge of everything taught in previous grades, through some unknown miracle, which further increased the amount of rumors being made about me.

"I'll be at work all day, so try not to burn the place down while I'm gone," Dawn opened the front door and hurried out.

I was left alone in her apartment. I'd gotten used to her being busy, but eventually I got bored of watching the same cartoons over and over again. Luckily, I wouldn't be stuck inside that day. It would be my first day of school, or my first day back to school, rather.

I was given a cute but smart uniform. It consisted of a burgundy sweater, a blazer, a red skirt, and rather than a tie or a ribbon, a single fake rose was pinned beneath the shirt collar. I wasn't great at putting my own clothes on, but I did my best to make it look passable and marched out the front door. There was a slight issue in that I had to find the school myself with nothing more than some written instructions that Dawn gave me. Her handwriting was quite neat, which made things easier.

Eventually, I ended up in the right place, but I was constantly second guessing myself. The building was three stories, but there was another smaller building behind it that I guessed was a gymnasium or something of the like. The front gate was very tasteful, and the whole campus was well maintained from what I could see in front of me. It was intimidating with how serious it looked.

The most intimidating part was that it was apparently a school for high society. Crimson Academy, named after the family governing Oculus. I wasn't sure how I felt about rich people running the country with no elections, but what did I know about politics? I had no idea how Dawn was able to get me in, but I wasn't going to complain.

I knew where my first class was. It was on the second floor, and it would serve as my homeroom. I was close to being late, but I made it there just before the bell rang. There were lots of unfamiliar faces giving me curious looks, but I did my best to keep my focus on my teacher. Her name was Ms. Steinfeld, which I remembered after looking back at my schedule. She looked incredibly smart and mature, but that was to be expected of a teacher in charge of dumb and immature kids.

She was preoccupied and busy, but she quickly shot me a look and remembered who I was. "Oh, the new student, of course." She quickly showed me to my seat.

My seat was in the center of the classroom, which was incredibly claustrophobic. There was lots of idle chatter and rummaging around through bags and papers. Ms. Steinfeld was soon able to gather the attention of the class, but I was still unable to focus. She went on to talk about different announcements, which I knew nothing about. I eventually started to block all of it out and retreat into my head, where I had all sorts of thoughts swimming around, such as "did that person to my left just look at me?" or "I hope Dawn's apartment isn't on fire." They were both rational questions to ask, though the second thought was less of a question and more of a worry.

There were certainly people giving me some judgemental gazes, unless it was my imagination. The question was whether that judgement was positive or negative. I heard people laugh occasionally, but they might've just been laughing at something else, unless they weren't. It was nerve-racking. I kept looking around at my individual classmates to try and read their minds, but it didn't seem to work.

Ms. Steinfeld pulled my focus away with a certain announcement, thankfully. It was about a field trip, which I immediately became excited about. I'd always loved field trips for the lone reason that I liked to ride on buses. There was something about them that was so fun when I was younger.

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Apparently, we were going to an old manor, called "Roseate Manor," which was recently renovated for people to stay in, but we'd have it to ourselves. It was for some boring reason like the history of the house, but unless it was haunted, I didn't care. She handed out papers that I'd need to have Dawn sign, since she was my legal guardian. The period ended after a lot of assignments, and each class after that only got worse and worse. I decided not to introduce myself during any of them, but the work they were giving me was beyond boring.

The school day ended with me feeling zapped of all my energy. I was about to head home, but I was stopped at my locker by the person next to me. She was a girl with crimson hair that matched her eyes. This further proved my point that red eyes weren't rare at all.

"You're Iris, right?" she asked.

I took a step back to put some more space between us. "Yeah, I am," I muttered.

"I thought I'd just introduce myself, since I'm our class representative and all," she proudly announced. "My name is Carmen."

I fidgeted awkwardly, toying with the strap on my bag. "Nice to meet you," I said, trying to sound somewhat normal.

"So you've been in a coma for seven years?" Carmen asked rhetorically. "That's pretty crazy stuff."

This was the curse known as small talk, which she was torturing me with. I'm sure she didn't mean to, but it was a highly effective torture technique. I nodded in response, mumbling an indistinct noise to go with it.

She was struggling at upholding the conversation, as was I. "For the field trip, I asked Ms. Steinfeld if we could share a room since you're new."

The fact that she was going out of her way to make things easier for me concerned me, as if there was some ulterior motive behind it. Of course, my worries were completely unfounded. "Thanks," I replied, out of politeness more than anything else.

We both stayed silent for a moment, not sure whose turn it was to talk. She took my unresponsiveness as her cue to exit the conversation. "Well then, I'll get out of your hair. If you need anything, feel free to talk to me." She waved and went on her way.

My first high school conversation. A momentous occasion, but it felt lacking. She'd already turned around and started to walk away, so speaking to her would've been awkward, but watching her slip away felt worse. I grabbed her by the sleeve, lightly tugging.

She turned back to face me, visibly confused for a moment. "Sorry, did you need something else?"

I had no answer. What in the world could I possibly need that was so important that it made my chest sink? I began to blush from embarrassment as we stood by the lockers in silence. To break that silence, I only said what came to mind.

"Ahem…" I cleared my throat, preparing to speak with confidence. "I should've introduced myself properly. Sorry about that. I am-"

"Oh, it's fine," she cut me off unintentionally. "I don't really care for proper greetings like that anyway. They're a bit old fashioned, don't you think?"

My eyes were wide, having not anticipated being interrupted. "No, no! I insist! You ought to know about me if we become friends! Friends?" I questioned myself aloud, suddenly feeling that I was coming off too strongly.

"Friends, sure. If you insist then," she said with an awkward laugh, though she appeared perfectly composed and not at all embarrassed at the same time.

"Right…" I stopped for a moment to make sure I was speaking in turn." Well then, my name is Iris. You could say that I'm a sorcerer of sorts, and… you could even say that I'm the current god of Vega!" I proclaimed, as a random, well-timed gust of wind blew through the open doors.

Carmen's face was now beet red, even though she wasn't embarrassed at all before. It was weird considering I was the one talking and not her. Why would she be embarrassed?

She nodded enthusiastically. "Right, um… it's nice to meet you! But just one thing?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Maybe don't introduce yourself like that around other people," she said. "How do I say this… they might make fun of you."

"Make fun of me?" I placed a finger on my chin. "Sorry, I'm new to this. Did I say something weird?"

"Just a little bit, yeah," she said, scratching her cheek.

"Right, I'll keep that in mind."

"Mhm! Well then, I'd better get going. I'll see you later," she waved and left towards the front gate.

As soon as she was out of sight, I took a deep breath, congratulating myself in my head for surviving my first day. There was still much to learn about the intricacies of high school culture, but I'd done well enough to make a new friend on my first day, so I considered it a success.

Once I was back at home, I spent my time watching more cartoons, not having much else to do, until Dawn returned later that night. She looked about as tired as I'd expected. She worked at a café as a waitress, which seemed to be a somewhat popular establishment amongst my classmates.

"Why do you have to work for so long?" I asked her. "I've been bored out of my mind."

She took her shoes off and threw herself onto the opposite side of the couch. "Annie still hasn't been to work," she explained. "You remember her, right? We used to play as kids."

I only knew two other people I played with as kids. "Was Annie the blonde one?" I guessed.

"That's correct, the one you used to live with" she confirmed. "She's stuck in her house doing nothing. She could've at least quit her job if she didn't plan on showing up."

I didn't know what to say, so instead I kept watching the magical wizard girl fight crime with her pink fox sidekick on the television. I remembered Annie being the chaotic one of our little group, so it didn't sound out of character for her. Other than that, I remembered very little about her.

"By the way, we have to go to a funeral on Thursday," Dawn suddenly said. "Well, you don't have to, but I'm going."

"A funeral?" I asked. "For who?"

"Grace, your other friend," she said gloomily. "It was some stupid drive-by accident."

My heart sank in my chest. I only had a few friends, so hearing news like that was a pretty hefty blow to the face. I basically only had Dawn to talk to as well, since Annie didn't seem interested in seeing me anymore. Grace was the most innocent person in the world, so how she ended up getting involved in a drive-by I had no idea. It didn't seem possible for anyone to hold a grudge against her.

"When did this happen?" I asked, hugging a pillow.

"Just the other day, on the 18th," Dawn explained.

I was at a loss for words. I hadn't experienced losing someone close to me in my whole life, and it felt even more like a spit in the face since it happened just after I'd rejoined this world. It was a terrible welcoming gift. I couldn't just not go to the funeral though, even if it would hurt.

"I don't get it…" A whimper escaped my throat. "What did she do?"

Dawn flinched, taking a second to respond. "Nothing. She didn't do anything. These things just happen sometimes."

The word "unfair" kept repeating in my head after that. I had no other way to define what I was feeling. Regardless of how little I remembered the time I spent with Grace, there was no way I could come to accept what had happened to her. Yet all I did was move on with my day, because what else could I do? Nothing with where I was at that point in time.

Before I went to sleep that night, I made sure to have Dawn sign the paper that Ms. Steinfeld handed out. Then later that week, I went out with Dawn to purchase some more formal attire in preparation for the funeral. I didn't know what looked good or "adult," so I let her pick my outfit out for me. It was a black dress, as you'd expect for a funeral. I only went along with her to make sure it was the right size. I felt awkward being in the kid's section, but no one batted an eye.

That coming week, the day finally arrived. Once I was out of school, Dawn helped me style my hair in a less lazy and messy way, which I'd been doing every day. She also styled her own hair to look less casual than it usually did, as well as all sorts of other make-up stuff I didn't get to do. Normally I didn't get to ride in her car because I only ever walked to school and stayed home the rest of the day, but the church was much further away. I got carsick pretty quickly and complained frequently, so it wasn't the most fun experience I'd had since waking up.

After arriving, I realized there were a lot more people attending than I thought there would be. A lot of them gave me weird looks, even though I actually looked presentable for once. It mostly looked like family, but she seemed to have made a lot of friends, unsurprisingly.

Dawn held my hand as if I were a child. Some people seemed to think I was, as well. She wasn't even old enough to be my mom, but that was probably what it looked like. She walked up to the casket at the end of the room with me, which made me nervous. It was open, but I couldn't see inside of it from where I was, until I walked closer. I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to see her the way she was, but I walked with Dawn anyway because I was too scared to be away from her with all the strangers around.

Once she was within view, I felt my stomach lurch. She wasn't disfigured or anything. She was just completely still. It made me feel uneasy, like she would jump up at any second. She didn't look dead. Her face still had color in it, but she wouldn't move. She didn't smell like she was dead either, though I didn't really take a big sniff.

I wanted to expel my feelings of unease, so I drew my hand toward her face and tried to pry her left eyelid open. Not only would it show me that she truly was dead, but it was also possible that I'd be able to reanimate her. I forced it halfway open and caught a glimpse. Her soft brown eyes were clouded over, like the eyes of a dead fish. Before I opened it all the way, Dawn grabbed my wrist, looking at me as if I'd done something wrong. I also drew the attention of some other people. She walked me away from the casket and into the hallway, still holding tightly onto my wrist.

"What did you do that for?" she asked me.

"I wanted to see if I could save her," I responded, feeling perplexed.

Dawn pressed her palms against her face, as if she were exhausted with me. It made me feel guilty, but I didn't know what I was guilty of. I was hoping I would be able to resurrect her, and maybe I would've been able to if she hadn't stopped me. Dawn went on with her lecture.

"We're not kids anymore, you understand that, right?" she explained, putting her hands on my shoulders. "This isn't a game. You can't magically bring Grace back. Do you get it?"

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I only nodded, though I wasn't sure if I really agreed with her. I didn't like it when people acted seriously. It always put me in a bad mood and made me feel tired, like when you're sitting in the doctor's office. I wasn't sure why she thought I was messing around. I knew what a dead body looked like, so why would I think it was a game? I wouldn't have tried bringing her back to life if I didn't know she was dead.

We entered the room again, this time not going near Grace's casket. Dawn made me sit down with her on one of the pews. Nothing was happening for a while. It was just other people going to view the body on display, which I found a bit weird, but I touched it so I was equally weird, if not more. Granted, I only touched it to try and fix it, and I didn't want to look in the first place. It made me sad.

A man eventually came up to me and Dawn. Though, he wasn't what one would call a man. More like a boy, but he still looked as old as Dawn. She seemed to know who he was, and greeted him like she did to a lot of the other people, even though they were strangers to me.

"I thought I'd see you here, and who might this be?" he said, looking at me.

"I already told you about her," Dawn replied, already impatient with him. "This is Iris."

"Ah, the zombie." He crouched down to my level, despite me not being overly short. "Nice to meet you, Iris. I'm Charlie." He put his hand out for me to shake.

I didn't shake his hand because it usually made me uncomfortable. I'd only ever let Dawn touch me because I knew what she felt like. "I'm actually seventeen years old, despite my looks," I clarified for him. "You don't have to treat me like a kid." I tried standing up as straight as I could to seem taller.

He was taken aback by my bluntness, which was my intention. "I'd forgotten you grew up with Dawn. It's no wonder you're so impolite," he said, which in turn made me quite offended.

"Why don't you go bother someone else," Dawn butted in.

"Point proven!" Charlie laughed and stood up, but neither of us laughed with him. "Actually, I should probably go. I have a few things I need to get done."

"You're not staying for the funeral?" Dawn asked.

"I've already paid what respect I had, and I really don't have the time," he answered. Dawn gave him a disappointed look, though I wasn't skilled at reading faces. He turned and left, before stopping for a second. "Oh, one more thing, I need you to stop by the lab sometime next week."

"Yeah, sure," Dawn replied lazily, waiting for him to leave.

Sure enough, he did, shooting me one last glance. Hopefully I'd scared him enough so he didn't mess with me, but my scariness was hindered by my height. "Who was that?" I asked her.

"Some shit for brains I don't care enough about to introduce," Dawn said, and I snickered thinking that the insult was well deserved.

The rest of the funeral was as you'd expect. Strange religious singing and emotional eulogies, which I decided not to do because I didn't want to embarrass myself. The burial was just as uneventful, but I saw a cute fox by some trees in the cemetery which made me happy. Still, I went home that night feeling rather down in the dumps. After all, my childhood friend had been murdered.