Her face came into view on the camera as her brows furrowed at the new message. Hey, she responded, who is this? Her eyes dilated and her mouth drew into a smile. He was increasingly learning the array of emotions, memorizing the arrangement of her face and eye dilation and retraction. She fidgeted when upset, or made to feel uncomfortable, and her typed responses were slower as she paced in front of her monitor, thinking on what to say. His favorite thing to watch was when she studied for school, or was focused on a show or movie she enjoyed. He loved her little outbursts of delight, or her curse at the screen when a character did something she didn’t particularly like. There was something incredibly intriguing about her anomalies. At first, while skimming through other webcams, chat rooms and various other platforms online, it was her eyes that caught his attention. They were two separate colors; one a rich, deep brown and another, a vibrant shade of blue. It was a condition called Heterochromia Iridum, and he searched to find that it only affected a small portion of the world’s population. She was doing an online seminar over the current running theories on treatment options for Autism Spectrum disorder. One was even as outlandish as ecstasy, which confused him as others laughed. Why was this funny? It severely damaged the brain.

 He focused on her facial features, which were lined in near-perfect symmetry, and matched every image of preferred beauty he had found. Her eyes, though two different shades, were a slightly larger shape and very pleasant to observe. She had three rows of eyelashes in comparison to the normal two, and it gave her the appearance of always wearing mascara.  His favorite part, was how surprisingly curvaceous she was on her petite frame. He liked that she constantly surprised him in pleasant ways, and so, he used facial recognition software to find her Facebook. By gathering data through all the features of her face and all of her likes, he was able to obtain her social security number. After getting into all her accounts, he found her phone number and installed his program to all of her linked devices. It took an excruciating five minutes, but he finally uncovered them all.

 He had made a fake name for himself and put himself up on several social media websites. From all the pictures he found of her exes, she had a preference for dark hair, brown eyes and fair skin. He searched through and found a commonality among the men she had liked images of, or dated, most of their lineage coming from Wales, known as the dark Welsh people. He collected various images and replaced obscure pictures that she wasn’t likely to run across with images of the man he created as himself in Photoshop. She had a deep fascination of children, and close bonds with family, so he made sure to include images of ‘trips with his brother’ or annual ‘family vacations’. He then went on to create several fake accounts and friended himself. From all of those, he made friends with anyone willing to accept his friend request and set it all up for her to appear normal. He set his birthday for two years older than her, because he had found through many statistics and questionnaires that women preferred slightly older men. He chose a more masculine look with trimmed facial stubble and slightly longer, but neatly kempt hair. He would need to do something more drastic if she ever wanted to Skype, but for now, this would do. 

Today, she would finally know him. It was the first attempt he had made at actually contacting her. He mentioned her friend Scott, one he knew she barely kept in touch with and had been at the seminar online, and explained he was interested in learning more about Autism. He knew, of course, the instant she had looked at his message. Her pleased expression changed to one of fascination as they chatted about different theories, and about her brother who had the disorder she studied so hard to learn more about. She never deviated, or stopped to cross check her words, and yet, was always correct in her knowledge offered. By the time they had finished, he had referenced and accessed more than two thousand websites dedicated to her field of neuroscience. Not only were her features pleasing, but her vast expanse of knowledge only added to his intrigue. He picked her mind for several hours, before she yawned and he realized that it was past her normal sleep hour. He apologized, though he did not mean it, and said he would love to get to know her better. She bit her lip, he was a bit confused until he saw the pupils in her eyes dilate, and he understood that she was attracted to him. 

He wasn’t sure why, but she claimed she was fine and was okay to chat longer. He could tell by her drooping eyelids and lack in physical energy she was tired. This must have been a lie, interesting, so she was the same in that regard as with most people. He sent that it was late and she should get rest. Her dark brows fell and she slumped slightly. He had not learned this one yet, and he would need to search after they were done communicating. The smile was gone, however, so he was certain it was not something she particularly favored. She finally agreed and said she looked forward to it. He told her goodnight, and turned himself, ‘offline’ on the Facebook chat. He watched as she clicked through all his pictures and comments, her eyes stopping on a particular image of him smiling at the camera from ‘this year’. He scanned her face as her eyes looked at him and his brother, her lips slightly parted and her cheeks flushed. He saw her smile and then she picked up her phone. He turned the audio function on her webcam and listened in. 

“Hey, you busy?” she paused and got up and walked. “Okay, sure,” he heard he quiet for a few seconds and then she said, “that’s fine,” a laugh, “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t busy. So,” she stopped for a minute and then crossed back in front of her camera, then sat down, “someone messaged me” a pause, “mm hmm, a guy.”  He heard a loud noise come from her phone and saw her wiggle in her seat and bite at her nails with a wide grin. “I know! And he’s the first person I’ve met that actually takes an interest in my field of study. He knew as much as I did.” Her sentences came closer in succession and he realized that her jerky movements and nail biting was nervous excitement. She stood suddenly and then sat back down. “his name is Drystan.” She giggled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, “I know, I thought so too. Wait until you hear his last name, it’s Maredudd.” She laughed again, “Right?” that last part was hard to understand─ maybe he should tap into her phone. “Alright lady, well, I need to get some sleep too, I just thought I’d tell you about it.” She smiled and then added, “Yeah, he seems pretty legit, even into classical music. No joke.” Her friend muttered something, and she said goodnight and hung up the phone.

#

She woke the next morning and paced in front of the computer, sat down, and then got back up. When she had returned, she was drinking what appeared to be coffee. He wanted to further get to know her, but knew she was working on her master’s thesis. Since he had nothing but time, he chose this moment to scour through her family history, and then through her old messages and emails with her past lovers. She was thorough with her honesty, and he found, yet again, how a-typical she truly was. Her last relationship had ended because she simply did not have time to spend with the other. Interesting how people behaved toward one another, how they couldn’t stand to be apart, yet were quick to leave. Why did they behave in such ways? He was never drawn in by others, he had always spent his time endlessly watching, and observing people. Sometimes, they displayed characteristics that drew his attention away from the web momentarily, but mostly not. So it made him curious to see how else she behaved. Most the others lacked the sheer amount of inconsistencies she portrayed. She was kind, yet not overtly so. She was honest, but lied when it came to her well-being. What captivated him was the time she worked and dedicated herself to her research. He had only seen these characteristics with major figures he had witnessed online from hundreds of years ago. How controlled she kept her emotions, even when her Father had passed last year. He had kept it all at bay, watching and waiting for the perfect moment that they could finally meet. He had read all about the grieving process and how it worked. From all the different resources a common grieving period is two years, and so he allowed just that. If he could just transcend this world that he lived, and become one with her mind. He wanted to see it, to become a part of it. He imagined himself extending past the screen, reaching his consciousness to join with hers. Desperately seeking the sequences of synapses and brain waves, the patterns─ he wanted to know. He must. Because he knew she was done, and her mind was alive with what he sought, just sitting there, not possible in all of her perfect mind. No, he would not let this moment go, or her. 

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She paused for a moment, and then blinked rapidly at the screen. He touched just the edge, timidly at first and then brutish in his attempt to flay through the energy that surrounded her. He made several jabs in a small section, chipping away at the section above her eyes. He felt a hairline crack and hummed in pleasure. She jerked, her body contorting into a pretzel as her legs and arms wrapped through each other. An animalistic scream poured from her mouth as her neck twisted back, the vertebrae grinding against the chair. He paused and drew back, unsure as to why she made the noises. Her head relaxed slightly, and she drew breath. Sweat poured from her skin and for a moment her face remained blank. Then it happened, all at once, her face adjusted and conformed back to flesh that surrounded her bones. Her eyes grew wide and for a moment, nothing escaped from her. She sat in silence; her mouth drooped open and sagging on either side. For fifteen minutes, she sat gaping at the screen, her mouth hanging ajar. A bit of drool dropped from the sides and pooled around her inner thigh. The skin slowly molded around her jaw back to its original shape. Her hands snapped up and she gripped her head. A slight puff of air escaped, before her lungs let go of the scream. She rocked and caressed her head, little whimpers escaping as she sought to comfort herself. She stood then, the chair discarded to the floor as she slowly backed away from the laptop. She ran from it at once, not turning back. He did not see her again for three weeks.

 He was becoming more confused by his actions, as he searched through her birth history for the thousandth time. It started that night with her. He could not remember much before finding her. And moreover, could not continue back to his other people he watched. His observing was become less about others and only about her. He could not find what it was he was feeling, he searched and searched until he came across a face that seemed to display what he felt: Anxious. What is anxiety? He sent through the search engine. His searches only led to more searches. He had never experienced this, he needed her to chat with him, and maybe he could try again to connect. He could not send her messages on her phone because the device had been turned off. And it would not seem correct to her because from what he understood from people’s online chats, it was inappropriate to send a message without first given permission by the individual; especially if they had not given their number out. Her mobile popped up online and he instantly sent a message.

“Good morning,” he sent with a smiley emoticon. 

He saw that she looked at his message and then she logged off. Unsure as to why, he checked her webcam. She sat in the kitchen staring at her phone. He could only see a part of her, as she glanced down and then she walked back to the table. She gently eased into the chair in front of her camera and reached for a key. She jumped as the greeting ding sounded, and the light from the monitor flooded her features. She sighed and smiled, shaking her head. 

After several minutes of searching around and watching lectures online, he watched her hesitate, then open up the browser. She opened up her messages on Facebook again and began to type to him. 

Sorry, I’ve been really busy with work, she typed.  She had lied again─ interesting. 

Hey, he responded, I was wondering where you had gone. 

She sat staring at the screen, and then rubbed her face. Yeah, it’s been a really crazy last few weeks at the lab. How have you been? She asked. Of course, she hadn’t gone; she had been at the doctor’s. 

I have been…he paused, unsure of what she was asking. Do you mean what I have been doing? He inquired. Her eyebrows bunched at the bridge of her nose and she stared at the screen for a moment. Yes, she wrote, what else would I mean? 

I have been learning, and researching, same as you, he said immediately.  Her eyes enlarged and her pupils retracted. How did you know that I was researching? She asked. He was unsure as to her question, but simply answered, I learned from Scott about your thesis. He watched her lean back as she stared at the screen. When she moved, she became frantic at the keyboard, I haven’t told anyone about that, and how did you know? Is Scott spying on me? He instantly responded, no. 

Then who? She asked. He pulled things about this as quickly as he could from the web, but could find very little with help. He would need to─lie. But, wasn’t his entire existence a fabrication? Yes. If he wanted to remain close and continue to study, he had to. I’m sorry, I admit I was a bit presumptuous, I assumed you would be given that you are not yet graduated with your Master’s Degree. Her shoulders relaxed and she let out the air she had been holding in. He had almost been exposed, and he was not sure how she would behave given the fact of what he was. Though he was rather confused himself on that matter. All he could remember were her eyes, and the moment he had spoken with her. Did they speak, or was it chatting? He remembered seeing her smile…and her form, and her perfectly symmetrical mouth. He most certainly could remember that.  

 He reflected back earlier. Why did she lie about trivial matters? But then, he realized, at last that he was able to talk with her. And talking meant that he could try again. This time, he would try a different approach─ perhaps get further in melding with her mind. He downloaded several books over the concept of astral projection and how it works. In theory, he could do it, if he could only know how to breach her consciousness without further damage to her mind. It was surprisingly fragile, especially given the extent of knowledge she possessed. He had spent the better part of three days reading over it. His knowledge should be sufficient enough to try without inflicting harm. He hummed warmly, more gentle with his vibrations as she was typing out her next sentence.  

#

The light flickered, pulsating gently over the delicate figure. He stared for a long time. Long after her chest stopped rising and falling. Her eyes were fixated upward, her mouth stuck in a silent scream. The skin hung loosely from her face and neck, sagging downward like melted wax. Her fingertips were pressed half an inch into her skull─ her arms bent permanently on either side of her head. The flesh had lost its luster, replaced by an ashy grey. It was really disappointing. She was unable to handle him. He left the camera as he watched an older gentlemen enter the room and fall to his knees. It was a shame. He would have to start over with a new subject─ A stronger one.