*beep* *beep*

The wind was howling through the open window, making the white see-through curtain flow in the room but the loud beeping noise from the ECG-monitor kept distracting me from enjoying the white and silent view outside the hospital room.

'I should ask the nurse to turn this off'

It's been one week since I have woken up from my two and a half week-long coma. It was a quiet day filled with tears from the incident and the life-changing news. I remember my mother's long black hair shimmering a violet hint after opening my eyes from the black nothingness and then her wrapping me in her embrace as though I would disappear into thin air if she ever dared to let me go. Tears streamed from the dark shadows imprinting her lower eyes wetting my turquoise hospital gown's shoulder. Her tears didn't seem to end anytime soon. It was like watching water gushing through the cracks of a now broken dam, wondering if the river behind those glossy, bloodshot eyes would ever dry out. It was quiet on that day except for the tears bringing the screams of sorrow from my heart-wrenched mother. I remember my confusion as to what could've happened that would've made my stern mother show me her tears of heartache and as to where I was. But these questions soon answered themselves after remembering my last memories of the water taking over my lungs.

Through logically connecting my memories with this situation it was obvious that I was at a hospital and that the man standing at the corner with a white coat must be the Doctor. His messy black hair made him look like he just woke up from a deep sleep a minute ago pairing it with a complementing yawn and glasses sitting skewed on his straight nose. He was quite the handsome man even though he must be at his late 40's but his age still didn't excuse him pairing his hospital uniform with those abominable crocks. Oh, what the world has come to. This sight must be my atonement for trying to kill myself.

*beep* *beep*

That beeping noise has been irritating me even in my sleep and yet still building up the strength to call a nurse is a hazard in which I favoured this annoyance more than raising my arm and then using my finger to press a button for a nurse to come in and shut it off. Sitting up straight used more of my strength than I would ever imagine but laying on my back gave me stabbing pain on my lower half.

"I'm only 16 yet I already feel like an old lady"

I still remember the echo of his words pulsating in my head. My mind went blank and his words hazed in my mind.

"How bad is it Dc. Feng?"

"At best she has two years."

Though I wished for death, I imagined that if I would die young then the cause would be my own hands and not by something like this. Where does this even come from? I always was a healthy child. There never were symptoms that would let me have a life-threatening disease, much less from such a rare one as this. The only sickness I would ever get was a cough or runny nose, so why this?

"And how rare do you say is her condition?"

"About that..."

The doctor was questioned by my mother like he was being interrogated with a lamp held on his face and yet still he stayed composed.

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'He must be used with this kind of situation'

Even though I thought that he seems to carefully lay his words with his next question, hiding his fidgeting with paging through the papers on his clipboard

"Ms Patel, I have a proposal to make."

His composed self quickly vanished and started hiding his nervousness by fidgeting through the papers on his clipboard. He seemed to be thoughtful as to how he should carefully lay his next words.

"As you know this clinic is backed up with the latest technologies and medical knowledge because of it belonging to the 'Copulari Academy'. Because of this, I would like her to keep her under my supervision and to eventually enrol her at the academy so to not only keep a closer eye on her but to also take the burden of you worrying that she might need to break off her studies due to her circumstances."

Everyone knows about 'Copulari Academy'. It's a prestigious school only those of high-class families would send their offspring to because of the unique teaching style and structure but also because of the high tuition. Even though that wouldn't be a problem for us. Due to the position of my parent's jobs I wouldn't say they're income was lacking, at any least due to the fact of them always working and that leading to them never having any free time to even spend their money, we were more than capable of paying that hefty sum. And to add it all she wouldn't have to take any days off from her work due to my sickness for the academies structure is to let its students live in a nearby campus between the school's clinic and the main building. So that's like striking two flies with one stone. Staying over at school and never bothering both of them and having my disease cared for by the latest medical abilities there is in the whole country.

*beep* *beep*

Gazing outside the window onto the snowy landscape of the hospital garden, I let my eyes fall upon the seeming to be fresh white lilies at my bedside table. Mother said those were gifts from Father as a compensation for not being able to visit me even once at the hospital because his work is more important than his bedridden daughter. Well, those weren't the exact word from her but it's damn close to what she told about this gift. It's always been this way. They always promise to come to one of my events or performances but they never come and if they do show up because of some magical force, they never stay long enough till the end and that's all because of their work. Father manages a resort in the capital while mother works as an astronomer and for both being the head of their job they have to sacrifice their free time. And that includes sacrificing me. Often after coming home from school the only answer I hear after taking off my shoes at the front door and yelling "I'm home" is the echo of my voice, resonating through the empty halls of our big and cold house.

'I can't even remember the last time we sat together at the table for dinner'

Even though my mother held me as she would never let go and cried like she had a Niagara-Falls-amount of tears behind her eyes, on that day she still left me alone after discussing the offer with the doctor. She hadn't waited long on taking the doctor's offer. I guess after thinking shortly about his proposal she immediately wanted to take on his offer but still waited a while as to not to seem rude or make me think like she would abandon me without a second thought. And yet still half an hour and she already signed all the paperwork needed to get rid off me.

'Maybe this is what lead to my fall'

I don't think they know that me falling into the river was a failed suicide attempt, more like they think that someone pushed me into the river. They must think that it was some sick prank to scare me off. When I asked my mom as to why she thinks this to be the case she told me a boy in my year found me lying on the river coast and called for an ambulance. He told her everything about how I was being bullied at school but that was all about it.

'I don't think he saw me falling from the bridge... I think?'

The fall...

It's the only thing I can think about the last few days and has been the only reason for my sleepless nights. I don't remember much of the fall only that it was oddly... warm? How ironic being afraid of the water to be freezing-cold and then having a comforting feeling rushing through my body every time I think about the fall. It felt like I was being embraced while the water indulged my body. Oh, how I miss the sensation of the embrace-like feeling. Was this feeling him?

No, it couldn't have been.