There is an open coffin in my foyer. At least that's what it looks like at first, complete with a fresh corpse. I jump and scream, as I catch my breath I see that it's not a coffin at all, it's a shipping container with a logo stamped on the side. Understanding dawns. This is a new android, the artificial companion that just debuted with so much fanfare. It looks utterly real. It's designed to look like a tall, muscular guy with broad shoulders, narrow hips, and long, lean legs. Tattoos are decorating the tanned expanse of his chest and arms. My brain keeps trying to tell me, ’this is no android, it's not a robot, this is a man. A man you don't know in your house!’

I take a few deep breaths and talk sense to myself: This is an android. I'm not in any kind of danger. It doesn't do anything on its own.

And it costs a ton of money. Like as much as I make in a quarter.

Why did Shane buy this expensive robot?

Now, I’m almost sure this is the ‘surprise’ he warned me about earlier. He sent me a message saying,"Honey, I got you a present. Now, I want you to keep an open mind and don't overthink it. I just had to get it. I hope you love this one. I really do. Not just because it cost an arm and a leg, and I can't return it."

The text popped up as soon as my car powered down when I returned home from the gym. I immediately opened my social media dashboard and started paging through ads.

Usually, I have some idea of what he's going to buy. I just have to pay attention to what ads are out for the latest gadget or toy–but I had no clue this time. There were no awesome new things I could find. There were upgraded ocular implants, subdermal nanobot body art–living tattoos they're calling it. Creepy!—and an android sex toy. None of them were the latest, coolest things the likes of which Shane wouldn’t be able to resist. This time it really was a surprise.

I'm sure I'll love whatever it is <3, I quickly  back.

Then I screamed when I saw what was in my foyer.

I just—I can’t believe he bought this.

It’s not the first expensive item he’s surprised me with.

The first one was a SlumberTec sleeping pod. The Pod is a bed and a sleep aid. With background noise, temperature control, and a slight rocking movement, it creates an ‘Environment of Effortless Slumber’.

I've been sleeping in the pod for two months now, and I have to say it works as advertised. I was having so much trouble getting a good night's sleep. I hate sleeping alone. Shane, my husband who is also the love of my life and my snuggle-bunny, had left on a job assignment and he’ll be gone for a total of two years. He's still gone, and I couldn't sleep a wink in our bed without him. I'd end up passing out on the couch because I dreaded going to bed and feeling so completely alone. I tried FaceTalking him at bedtime. But laying down and talking with him, seeing his handsome face wouldn't help me fall off to sleep.

"I wish I was there with you. I wish I hadn't taken this job," his lovely, gravelly voice had such an effect on me. Hearing him, my body would hum.

"I miss you so much." I could hear a whining note in my voice and try to be more supportive and optimistic. "I just--I really look forward to when you get back."

"Yeah, what are you looking forward to? My cooking?" He smiled at me in that lopsided, teasing way, "You miss my omelets?"

"I do enjoy your breakfast cuisine," I teased back, "but what I miss is being close to you."

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"You miss my snuggles?" He said.

"Uh-huh. I miss your smell. And the feel of your scruffy chin. And your hands and—"

"Honey," He interrupted, his eyes heated, "Be my good girl and tell me what you really miss..."

I like it when he gets bossy, and I love being his ‘good girl’ but even after our call took a steamy turn I still didn't feel better. I still missed him. And I didn't feel sleepier–I was still wide awake.

The next day I was FaceTalking with Shane again and when he asked how I slept, I was honest with him. I admitted I was tired and grumpy because I couldn't get good sleep.

That very evening was when the SlumberTec Sleep Pod arrived. He messaged me when my shift was over at work and asked me to video call him. He kept me on that call so he could see my reaction to his surprise gift. He'd had it delivered and set up in our home office. It was so cute, the way he was giddy with excitement, telling me all the specs and tech of this sleep pod. And it was so sweet of him because I never would have gotten such a thing for myself.

I slept like a log from then on.

My job involves interacting with geriatric patients, overseeing classes and activities. If I'm well-rested, I enjoy this work, but if I'm tired I'm stressed and grumpy. Then I feel like I'm not doing my best for the residents. So the pod and the wonderful sleep are a godsend.

That sleep pod was the first in a long line of surprises Shane started ordering for me. You would think that his job terraforming Europa would keep him occupied. But he has great swathes of free time being bored and watching too many ads. I'm impressed he can watch media in real-time and we can have video chats when he's so far away. I don't know how Horizons Exploration and Colonization manages to send and receive video faster than the speed of light, but that must be what they're doing. The whole terraforming team is orbiting Europa, which in turn is orbiting Jupiter right now. I have asked Shane how the technology works, but I don't think he really knows. He stumbled over talk of folds in space-time, gravity wells, and tachyons. I couldn't follow it, but it added up to speaking with Shane every day. And him ordering some kind of thing every week.

Shane doesn't need to spend any of his money at all. Taking into account our UI--Universal Income–checks, the salary I make at my job and the fact that all of his expenses are covered from the time he left Earth's orbit until the time he returns, he should be banking his whole paycheck. But instead, he drains his bank account ordering the latest replicators, communication devices, and things like that. He even has a genetically enhanced cyborg cat waiting for him to come home. That thing cost 20,000 credits and serves no purpose at all as far as I can tell. Since Shane is away, it's up to me to video chat with him as I unbox and exclaim over whatever latest gadget he's bought. He can't enjoy them in person, so this is the next best thing.

Really, though, I miss him so much and if watching me open box after box makes him happy, I won't complain about it.

Until now, that is. This purchase crosses the line.

What does he expect me to do with this? I feel my face heat up as I quickly turn away from the thing.

"Shane!" I move towards the kitchen to wait in front of the nearest screen, ready to give him hell. He's automatically connected if I say his name loud enough, so I don't have long to wait.

"Hey, babe! Did you find it? Are you mad?" he looks sheepishly adorable, and my annoyance instantly drains away. This is the man I love, who I haven't been held by in half a year. Just seeing his face brings all the longing and loneliness I keep quieted down all day roaring back to life. I need him home, I need to press my body against his. Was I really going to bitch at him from across the solar system? Of course not.

"It's here. I don't know what you expect me to do with this thing though?"

It's his turn to look uncomfortable as he stammers a bit, "Well, you know, I thought we'd try it out. The reviews on it are great! And have you heard about the sync feature? Where it personalizes itself to you?"

"Yes, I have heard about that and it's the most disturbing part! I can't sync myself to some bot, Shane! I'm not even going to bring that thing online." I feel bad for disappointing him, but did he really expect me to cozy up to this android? I glance up at him when he doesn't respond, and he looks guilty and excited at the same time. "What is it, Shane?"

"Well…" He can't hold back his excitement, his eyes sparkling with it. "I've already synced it. All it needed was access to your browser history since you have one of those ocular implants. All done remotely."

"Wha—” he doesn't let me get a word in.

"It's already online too. I booted it up and set its parameters and everything so you wouldn't have to deal with all that."

As he's explaining all this, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I turn to see that the android is online, and he's snuck up behind me.