He looked around, no felt, no presence, and he already watched the souls pass on to the Astral Path.

He looked past reality but failed to penetrate the layer keeping the boundaries. Soon after, his feet regained their strength, "I need to make preparations."

He gave the dead assassins one last look and then turned around. He was hundreds of steps from his home. He was now a bonafide cultivator, one who refined his body for twenty years without stopping. He was strong as he was patient, yet his feet dragged on.

The fight ended with Kiel walking away unscathed.

His ears may have been sacrificed, but even that was his doing.

But, his mind was in shambles.

Besides learning his parents died, he also broke the oath he kept to himself for so long.

When his hyperfocus lifted, he lost every tension that kept his mind in line.

Now, he walked with uneven steps.

His body swayed as if it was devoid of strength.

His body felt heavy as if lead replaced his blood.

By the time he reached his home, Kiel was trying to catch the breath that never left him.

Without knowing, he stumbled into his room; he looked down on the bed and saw droplets trickling down his eyes, down his cheeks. He felt not the body's pain but what was within.

Again, someone important was taken, and this time, it was his parents.

He was left alone, thought to be abandoned when he was seven just as he realized his desires, too short of a time to even call it living. His sister left him to find her own path and then disappeared altogether not long after. He found a friend, and she died in his arms.

For thirteen years, he lived alone; only the thought of his family's return kept him going. It had been so long since he heard anything about his parents, and the first news he got was about their demise.

One after another, Kiel only experienced loss.

His parents, his sister, his friend, everyone he considers important to him were leaving his side.

The only wish he ever had, to live in silence in the company of those he cherishes, was starting to crumble.

And they are all dead because of his stubbornness.

He could've risen and granted them their wishes.

If he had the strength, Kiel could've saved Irys.

If he only had the strength, he could've accompanied his parents and helped them conquer their enemies.

He could've saved them, but he chose to be humble and live a normal life.

To be beneath the heel of fate together with Mortals.

He thought he would find happiness.

But all he found was pain.

Even the memories that kept him going were beginning to tear him apart.

Memories became a stigma that pierced his heart like a dagger.

He could not do anything but cry, despair, and regret everything, knowing he could've done it differently.

Knowing he had the power to change everything.

Like a flowing river, his tears never seemed to end, no matter how much he tried to stop it. He desired to live, experience, and not be empty, but now it was too painful for him to bear.

His eyes revolved, the image of the serpent arrived, but it did nothing and only dragged him into a silvery-white world.

Once, he was without equal; he had the most experience and tricks up his sleeves. He was left without defeat in his previous life, stood beside none, and delivered the fatal blow without hesitation, but now he was brought to his knees, for what was attacked was his weakened mind.

A void opened on his chest, and a tainted white string connected the creature born of grime and blood. It was but a mere blob, no bigger than a meter; it was nothing special.

Yet, time flowed, and the pain only grew stronger… and with his suffering, the blob responded. Slowly, its red luster was devoured and became a complete black. A grinning mouth appeared on its surface, and slowly, its body morphed and became humanoid until it bore the face of the grinning blue demon.

Kiel raised his head and found the blue demon.

'What is this? What's happening?' Kiel questioned, still unable to control the welling up emotions. The demon looked him in the eye, grinning, mocking him.

“GRUAAAAAAAAAA!” The Blue Demon released a deep roar and sent Kiel flying with a kick.

BAM!

Another sound echoed as the Blue Demon appeared next to him and punched him to the ground.

Kiel's face received the attack without so much as the desire to fight back. He looked up and saw the vastness of white space, and then a black dot from above came crashing down.

The Blue Demon descended with untold speed, turning into a ball of fire, and crashed on Kiel's abdomen.

BOOM!

Kiel coughed up black blood as the Blue Demon absorbed.

The Blue Demon gained an eye, and Kiel lost of his.

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

He had now lost half his sight, yet it didn't matter. His tears kept streaming down his face as he felt his emotions getting heavier by the minute.

Knowing he would die, Kiel wanted nothing more than end it all.

But revenge could not be achieved without his breath.

Thus, Kiel moved and pressed his hand against the Blue Demon's.

"Settle down…"

Splash!

Kiel's hands went right through the Blue Demon, and for a moment, the Blue Demon stopped only for it to show a massive grin.

Fwu!

A gust of wind appeared as it turned liquid and captured Kiel inside a sphere.

Inside, ten thousand needles pierced embed themselves on his skin.

His current form… was the reflection of his soul; his cultivation was pathetic, to say the least… his soul was peerless.

Untouchable without match.

Yet, it was now entrapped inside the black goo. Kiel would have broken out without much effort; however, something kept him from using his strength.

The needles absorbed his energy and suppressed him. He couldn't even lift a finger to fight back.

Ava and Noah's figures appeared in his mind; they were scenes of the past when his family was whole and together.

A great tide of emotion bashed its way to scatter his mind and focus.

Kiel's heart clenched, and his breathing halted as if he had been dragged onto the bottom of the ocean.

Tak!

The echo of a wooden piece echoed in the empty space, and the figure of Irys was reflected in his heart, playing, waiting for him—smiling.

And then, all three of them… were split in half.

Drenched in their blood, Kiel was drawn deeper and deeper into the darkness.

Laughter echoed as the Blue Demon snatched away his body piece by piece.

The memories flooded his mind.

What was once his life's greatest achievement and treasure became torturous to look at.

The memories that helped him cope with the sadness and loneliness made his mind crumble from self-loathing and despair.

He used to look at these memories with a smile, but now, he couldn't even bear to remember them. The pain of remembering was much harsher than any blade.

And the more he felt the pain, the more he wallowed in his despair, the stronger the hold of the Blue Demon.

"It's all my fault!"

"If only I was stronger!"

"If only I didn't tell them to go!"

"If only I wasn't stubborn!"

"If only I understood!"

"All my fault!"

"My Fault!"

"MINE!"

The silvery-white world crumbled.

The once peaceful world was filled with the cackles of the Blue Demon.

It grew bigger and stronger by taking what was once Kiel.

Kiel's eyes widened as his heart began to crumble.

He was slowly getting devoured by the dark emotions.

He who did not flinch in the face of a massacre was slowly losing his grip on his sanity. He who had no remorse in killing crumbled in the face of other people's death.

Against the demon in his heart, Kiel could not do anything.

He could only allow it to keep eating his mind.

To keep devouring his heart.

Because the more it devours, the more he can feel at peace... the more he would be closer to death.

Memories such as these were the only thing that kept him justifying that letting his parents pursue the devil in their hearts was the right decision. But as he watched them again, the touching memories became smeared with blood. The more he remembered, the more painful it became, and the more he denied these emotions, the stronger the Blue Demon became, the more materialized his Heart Demon became.

The feeling of Mortality settled; the idea of death appeared.

But, Kiel was not afraid.

Instead, he extended his arms; he wanted to rest.

It was too painful for him to continue.

It felt like this kind of pain in his chest was going to indeed kill him, and as a last-ditch effort, Kiel chose to sever his emotions just like he did in the past.

To abandon everything... and to descend into the dark where he cannot be hurt.

But then, just as he was about to reach the bottom of the Abyss, he remembered a single vow he once said.

An oath he created before being birthed into this universe.

A single phrase that allowed him to push forth everything!

"I…."

It echoed amidst the mire of darkness that engulfed his heart!

"I… still want to live."

He pushed out these words and overwhelmed his tears.

"I cannot… sever them again… I do not… want to become a hallowed walking corpse like before. This suffering… this pain… I know what this is… I know it, but I do not want to admit it. This despair... — it is my Guilt."

The prison wavered as the Blue Demon screeched in pain.

Kiel remembered his parents once again.

Irys

Ame

His chest tightened like never before, his breathing grew incoherent as he drowned in unfamiliar emotions that he had not felt before.

Kiel had no answer on how he could respond to these emotions, but he did not dive into the pool of knowledge to search for an explanation. He went to face it head-on to discern and understand; the collection of knowledge was not something he should turn to for understanding himself.

Thus, Kiel began his own search:

"This… is sadness… the loneliness that I felt. Mother... Father... Ame... Irys... I want to see you all again... I miss you all... I... don't want to die...I want to live… and to remember."

These words were the truth beyond despair.

Those who wish to claim their lives want not to leave the world but to search for an escape so they too could live. They want a reason, so they can live again.

Kiel was no one to seek out connections with others. But, when he does, he holds them close to his heart.

He keeps those he cherishes close to him, yet those he finds a connection with disappear. Kiel does not seek death to forget, not to stop the pain... it was all so he could see them again. Hoping to walk the Astral Path with them.

A pitiful attempt to again feel the connection slipped between his fingers.

They who despaired only searched for life, and Kiel managed to find the Truth that allowed him to look death in the eyes and claim he wanted life more than anything else.

Because he was not alone. There are others out there, those who made their mark, "Ouroboros... Ame... I... I still have them...."

The Blue Demon continued its onslaught, desperately trying to destroy his heart.

But, the cracks in his heart were slowly mended. Realizing and confronting his emotions enabled him to close the gaps and crack the cage.

Kiel's soul no longer wished to die; his desire to live grew stronger, and despite the Blue Demon's attempts, its body exploded, and the prison disappeared.

Kiel opened his eyes and found himself falling headfirst.

Tongue, Eyes, Hearing, and many more were taken. Two legs, right arm, organs, skin, and hair remained… everything else was taken.

He watched the Blue Demon that had regained its form rushing to him with a wind-up…

The Blue Demon, who had gained a mouth and a tongue, roared, "DIE!"

It wanted nothing more than for Kiel to die to claim its place; however, Kiel decided to move. He moved with desolate eyes; his clothes fluttered as he twisted his body.

He lifted a finger, and then, the Blue Demon's fist stopped.

'Welcoming the sweet embrace of death and then feel its sweet release… is something even I want, yet, such a fate is not mine to take. Not yet... I remain unbroken.'

Kiel looked at the Heart Devil with clarity and purity; he then chose to whisper his words, "I shall reclaim what is mine, and you who had taken them shall give them back — don't break so quickly."

"FUCK OFF!" The Blue Demon roared and aimed for Kiel's head.

Kiel felt danger coming his way, but instead of evading this hand, he simply glared at it and moved his hand to grab its head as he darted forth!

FWU!

Thus began reclaiming his parts, arm, tongue, hearing, and everything else.

Kiel tore the Heart Devil to pieces, and as he stopped, he was before a kneeing Heart Devil.

The Heart Devil was without an expression; only its nasty grin remained; it then mouthed off, "I will never disappear. I will only get stronger, and one day, I will break you…."

Slash!

"I know." Kiel didn't let it finish, for his answer was already predetermined, "I want it that way. My reflection cannot disappear because you are my darkness... the Devil in my heart."

Thus, Kiel absorbed the Blue Demon, no, the Heart Devil back in his soul.

It would continue to exist, never to disappear.

However, it would remain a reminder that Kiel was no longer hallow.

Because having a Devil in the heart is to have desires and desires is a testament to his truth.

Kiel opened his eyes in the world of the living,

The morning had already arrived.

With blood-soaked robes, he noticed he regained his hearing, "Did you do this, Boros?"

"Your regenerative capability is strong. I just helped you by redirecting it-wait... did you just call me Boros?"

"Why, do you not like it?"

"I'll allow it... what happened to you?"

"Nothing much... thank you for helping me, Boros."

"Hmph, of course, this is also partly my body. We carry the same Fate."

Kiel just smiled and got up from the bed, saying, "We're leaving this place today."