Diary of the Shoe Saintess, Vol 1.
I think the first day was the scariest I'd ever experienced until then. You know the saying, the phrase, “This is the best day of your life, so far”. That phrase works the other way too, “This is the worst day of your life, so far.”
This was without a doubt my worst day. So far. Waking up in a new body was beyond strange, but the village I appeared in, being held by bandits, was beyond terrifying to me at the time. I know what anyone reading this journal will think, me, terrified? This body wasn't yet 18 years and hadn't been able to evolve a class yet. That was for tomorrow, and boy did that day suck. Nothing on the elder dragon, but that will come later.
The first day though…I remember fire, screams, and terror. I may have been the only one to come from Earth(at least as far as I know), but everyone was scared that day, and by the end, I was the only survivor. Bandits had captured our city and were going to kidnap anyone with a useful Class, escaping before the capital’s guards could come down on them with the wrath of the gods.
I look back on this day with confusion. It was my first day in this new world, and I was horribly confused at the fact that I had a status screen. I was even more lost when I discovered that my name was wrong. For all those reading, correct your historical records. The Shoe Saintess, as you insist on calling me? My name is Jessica. Jessica Tang, not…Peach. Certainly not Peach Thrice-Be-Damned last name. You want the truth? I’ll tell you all, but you may not like the results.
Entry 1 of the Diary of the Shoe Saintess, Vol 1
Chapter One - Burn, Baby Burn
I awoke to the sound of screams. I felt myself roll and fall out of my bed.
“The hell?” I thought “This isn't my bed. This isn't my apartment. Did I get too fucked up last night and have another one night stand? Who is screaming?”
“Get up now!” A deep voice bellowed from the entrance of the room. Looking up, I saw a man, and boy was he a man. He must have stood 7 feet tall, clad in only a wrap made from…animal furs? What the hell is going on here?
“You all awaken your classes tonight on the full moon. The Bloodkeep Bandits have taken over every pitiful village on this mountain, and we’ll take any damn one of ya’ with us that we want!” The incredibly large man bellowed.
“Please, we have families!” A voice cried out from the crowd of the room. Is this some kind of bunk-house? The fuck am I? I couldn't help but wince at the mans cry, knowing that kind of plea was never going to work on a determined killer.
*CRACK* The sound echoed around the room, followed by a scream I did not know would haunt me for years to come.
“Please, stop, she is only a child!” an older voice yelled.
“NO ONE backtalks me!” The barbarian dressed man screamed. “I am Vanathol the First, captain of Mythril Mountain! I'll kidnap anyone I want! I'll kill anyone I want. I'll fucking eat anyone I want! If I want to whip your fucking kid, you better shut the fuck up and like it"
Okay, this guy is insane, but at least the swearing is the same? Sometimes I hated my brain, but I felt comforted that at least one thing seemed familiar, because I was sure of one thing…
…I'm not on Earth anymore.
The giant barbarian reached forward and plucked a small child from the crowd. My heart broke. She couldn't have been older than 10. I looked at myself, knowing it was utterly futile to try to stop this man. I have to try though.
Pausing for a split second to look at myself I feel comforted. My body, it seemed, had remained the same. Hair, check. Still red, still shoulder length, and still straight. I couldn't tell right away, but it felt like I was the right height. My arms and legs felt the same length, as well as my chest and (small) paunch I had on my stomach. But my shoes…
“Let me go!” The small child screamed. She seemed incredibly tiny in the presence of the massive battle axe wielding man. “I want my mom!”
“I don't give a shite what you want, child. These people follow my rule now! You're going to teach them not to rebel!”
Vanathol gripped the child by the back of her neck, hoisting her into the air. “Scream, child! Everyone will hear your screams and know that I now rule this village!” With a hefty of his mighty arm, he tossed the girl with a single hand into the inferno blazing wreckage of the city behind him.
I feel time slow as I watch the scene before me. 24 hours ago I was nothing but a worker in a shitty club by the docks, now I'm laying on the ground in some fucked up medieval fantasy world watching a man murder a child without a second thought.
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I have to save her.
Rising to my feet, I sprint forward towards Vanathol. I make it about 5 steps before I feel myself stumble and fall. “My shoes!” I have time to think before my forehead collides with the floor. A small cut appears above my left eyebrow, slowly leaking blood down my face.
Am I wearing fucking HEELS?!
Ding!
You are bleeding. -1hp/s while bleeding status remains
Current HP: 499/500
I stare stunned at the screen floating in front of my face. What the hell is this? Is this one of those VR games my friends use to play? Am I just being pranked?
Menu! Stats! Info! Status! I furiously think in my head, wondering if I was going insane or not.
Name: Peach
Level: 1
Class: None
Stats:
HP:496/500
Str: 0.89
Dex: 1.03
Agi: 0.99
Vit: 0.89
Int: 1.11
Will: 1.67
Cha: 1.84
Luc: .0000001
The fuck is with these stats? Okay, I have a tummy, but fuck you stats! I work out! Dancing is a workout you know! Why is Charisma apparently my best stat? More important questions, why am I still on the floor, and most importantly, Why am I wearing my stripper heels?! Why does my status say my fucking stripper name?!
Also why is there an axe swinging toward my hea- Oh fuck - ROLL! Kick him in the dick!
Barely dodging the strike, I struck out with the one tool I had. My Stiletto heels. It appears even
7 foot tall men fall down like a log when you kick them square in the balls with spiky high heels
I scrambled to my feet, looking at the man crawling and moaning on the ground in front of me. I had only one thought, What the hell, you only live apparently twice before I lifted my foot and jammed the spike of my Stiletto through his eye socket.
Ding!
Exp gained!
You have gained 344 exp for killing Lvl 4.Bandit
Level up!
Level up Blocked until Class Ceremony
EXP Stored!
I ignore the eyes of the crowd around me as I dash forward towards the fire. I can see her small frame and I dive straight into the fire with no thought of what will happen next.
“Get some water” I scream as I grab the child and dive back out of the flames. I rip my cloak off When the fuck did I get a cloak and start to pat her down
I looked up to see a crowd that surprised me. Half of them seemed to be looking at me with awe in their eyes, the other half seemed repulsed that I had just murdered a man, even though I did it to save them.
“Look” I say to the crowd. “He was going to kill us. You heard him. Let’s just…please let’s just survive until we can all get a class, okay?”
“Yeah, the knights will save us!” yelled a teenage boy from the crowd.
“We only have minutes left before the ceremony will start! The moment the full moon appears everyone coming of age will develop their class, and final name! Blessed be this day!” screamed an old man at the edge of the crowd. “This is always a beautiful day for my grandchildren” he said, wiping a tear from his eye.
Dismissing the insane old man that apparently did not care that we had almost been horribly murdered, I wondered how many more bandits there were, and when they were coming. This asshole said he took over this village for some mythril bandit group. No way in hell do I want to be here when they show up, but fuck I have to stand here like an asshole until I get my class....
Maybe I'll get something good.
It wasn’t long before the first moonbeam fell. It fell on a milky haired girl dressed in an outfit that wouldn’t look out of place at a renaissance festival.
“Holy fuck” I thought “This is real”
The milky haired girl began floating in the goddamn moonbeam! In what seemed like seconds, she was back on the ground. People all around her started saying one word over and over.
“Observe”
I glanced at the girl and tried the word myself, not knowing what to expect. I heard a familiar Ding in my head but I’m totally ignore that because holy shit I see a stat screen
Status:
Name: Griselda “Smith”
Level: 1
Class: Smith
Stats:
Str: 2.84(2.0)
Dex: 1.97(+1.5)
Agi: 1.14(+0.75)
Vit: 3.97(+2.50)
Int: 2.46(+1.5)
Will: 1.54(+.0.75)
Cha: 6.49(+.50)
Luc: 1.12
My eyes widened with shock as I saw her stats. As a smith she was going to be excellent! Strength, dexterity, vitality, this girl was getting all the goods.Weird that people get their last name from their class here. Sucks she was a support class, but the bonus stats seem nice also that moon is getting incredibly brigh-Oh shit.
The moonbeam feels incredible, like I’m being bathed in ecstasy and potato wedges. I can feel its strength pulse through me and feel a small piece of me beg it for power, for more power than it will grant tonight or any night it has ever affected on any mortal.
Why is everything tasting purple? Why is everyone staring at me? Oh well, I’ll figure it out soon. Guess I better check out my super duper new status.
Name: Peach “Cobbler”
Level: 2
Class: The Legendary Cobbler(Unique)
Stats:
Str: 4.89(+4.00)
Dex: 4.53(+3.50)
Agi: 3.49(+2.50)
Vit: 1.89(+1.00)
Int: 2.61(+1.50)
Will: 2.67(+1.0)
Cha: 4.34(+2.50)
Luc:- 0(NEGATIVE)
Well….Fuck