I got swayed by the mention of my ex-wife. Either I am still stupidly in love with her, or earthly feelings can easily entice me. Is this also a sin? I don't think I look at Sofia lustfully.

Agreed, maybe to some degree, but it's more of an ethereal connection. Sure, the feeling might not be mutual, and there's this minuscule chance that she will wish for me to be skewered by the Flame armies, but I can maybe see us together.

In the near future.

Okay, maybe in some years.

Who am I kidding? It is not what I want to see happen anyway.

I have issued myself a death warrant with this decision of relaxing on the Bluham palace grounds. There are two options in front of me: yes, and yes, but more enthusiastically. And neither gives me any freedom with respect to my future plans.

I sigh. This is a disgrace to my existence. That fox!

"Ahem," Giuseppe interjects. "It seems you are lost in your lengthy thought trains again, Will."

I frowned at him. I do not wish for his accompaniment now.

"So it seems, doesn't it, Giuseppe? I was simply pondering over my choices here. I can't conclude this quickly, you see."

I am beating around the bush. Giuseppe clearly sees me twiddling my thumbs.

He sighs. "You can actually say no; you do realize that?"

"And what of my ego? What of my stature?"

"You were a farmer until three hours ago, Will."

"Okay, but you did see that frog Jungwan in the Court? What of him? He will win if I let this slide. He will think he has gotten even after I whacked him the other Sunday-"

"Hold on, you punched him? A minister of the Court?"

"What I mean to say is-"

"You want to see Sofia again." Giuseppe looks at me straight into my eyes.

I stop in my tracks. Did I actually want to see her after all these years? No, that can't be true, can it? Surely looking at her portrait every morning was not because of this? Watering and taking care of her rose garden in her absence? Why yes, I was coping with the loss. It was not love; it was loss.

Now I want to settle things with her, once and for all. Bury the hatchet, as one might remark.

Yes, that must be it.

"Why does one make excuses, Giuseppe?" I ask him. I am quite sure I don't remember myself trying to ask that - such a pointless question. I reckon the mind of man works in mysterious ways.

He ponders for a bit.

"Sometimes, the wall seems a little tall to scale."

What the fuck is up with these metaphors? Can't he answer me directly?

Well, this is just a waste of time. I need to get ready.

Get ready? Why yes, I am indeed going to take up this mission! I had decided so since I left my humble home in Lyspia. My mother will be proud of me now, I think. I have this funny feeling that I'll meet my dad soon.

"Okay, I assume it is a yes, then. Lord Myrtu expected this already. She asked you to loiter around while your room got ready. Just as you would like it."

Ah fuck, I have been playing right into her hands. No, wait, if I think about it, she has played right into my hands. Ha! She definitely would not have expected me to use this opportunity to tell Sofia that I don't deserve her.

That I don't deserve her?

No, wait, that sounds wrong. That she doesn't deserve me, yeah, that sounds proper.

Giuseppe snaps his fingers in front of me. "Did I actually dose you such a large amount? You have been spacing out a lot."

"No, it is alright. I need some coffee. Lead the way."

Yes, it's the drugs. I think I am having all these weird introspections because of it. The effects are larger than intended because I have been clean all my life! I have never fallen so far to take drugs - just the occasional smoke and a jug of mead to relieve my stress and to keep me warm.

Suddenly, sunlight filters through the balustrade of the whitewashed balconies straight onto my face. It is harsh, yet so warm and accepting, helping life to thrive on this continent.

I wish to be the Sun.

My eyes dart to the clearing at the center of the quarters. Such a vast space, bustling with activity as foot soldiers and robed council members rush back and forth between two rooms. I squint my eyes to read the signs.

War room. Information room.

That familiar instinct of the mountain animal returns. There's something wrong.

Giuseppe notices my concern. "So you noticed.".

Of course, I did. The military scum never works hard unless there is a skirmish at the borders or protests against the Crown.

"I was to inform you of this anyway, but I wanted you to make yourself comfortable first."

I feel my body tense. Even though it's rusty, I think the instincts of a soldier rushing back after three years.

"Ekona is facing a siege from the Flames," Giuseppe says. "The Emperor has given orders for soldiers at Bluham to assist Ekona in fighting against them."

"Isn't this too soon? I heard that their Emperor was ousted last month by his own brother."

Giuseppe arches his eyebrows in surprise. "That's a military secret. How did you get to know?"

"Word gets around." I bit back the truth. I wasn't going to tell him that I still have contacts with the Flames.

Giuseppe sighs. "The elder Flame has run off to Eirrah with his close confidantes. Quite a bold move, I must say. They have been smacking their lips, looking for a chance to control the silver reserves in the Northern Range. The Flames get nothing out of this coalition."

I am confused by this situation.

"So the younger Flame decides to start a skirmish amid impending doom from the North in the form of his brother. Is it reckless or stupid?" I ask. I clearly know the distinction, as I am reckless, not stupid.

"We do not know further information, which is why the merchant's ball is quite an important mission." Giuseppe eyes me, saddened. "Normally, the Wraith's services would be impeccable at such a juncture, but we have to make do with what we have. We are short of members on our special operatives team. The war took away a lot of people, as you know."

I wince. Everyone remembers our last war with Redlam. Both sides suffered a lot of damage. It was my last war as well. Our special operatives team was decimated in an ambush; it is lucky that some of us have survived until now. From the information I often get, it appears that recruitment rates have gone down on the mainland. Villages are not prepared to send their youngins to the damned war anymore.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

The Forest, therefore, is trying to increase our relationship with the West.

"I expect you to fill me in on the mission after we return."

Giuseppe stops in his tracks. "What do you mean? Get back from where?"

"I meant exactly what I said. We should be on our way to Ekona." I stood my ground. I don't see a reason for this, but I can't disagree with what my instincts tell me. Should I really just follow my instincts? I am not an animal.

But then, they don't call me the Wild Dog for no reason.

"You are not coming to Ekona. I get that you want to prove yourself and meet Sofia, but this is too soon for you to act. The ball is three months away, and you have time to train your body and mind-"

"I am as ready as I can be. I didn't waste my time off-"

"You probably haven't used magic more than a couple of times in the past three years. Will, please listen to me. There's a reason why-

"-why I was assigned a recon mission instead of a seek-and-destroy? Giuseppe, I don't completely understand the situation, but you seem to forget what I was."

"It is in the past, Will. We have no idea how you will measure up-"

Ah, he wants me to prove that I am still sharp. The bastards, they always try to size me up.

I grab his collar and hoist him up in the air. He is visibly surprised but quickly finds his footing along one of the pillars in the walkway we are at and hoists himself up. He twirls in the air, releases himself from my grip, and lands behind me.

Not so fast, G.

I let my heel hit him on his hamstring. He bucks under the force but uses his other foot to sweep my ground. I jump instinctively, trying to land on his ankle with all my strength. Giuseppe nimbly rolls away, readying himself for a punch from me.

My muscle memory expertly guides me through the next half a minute as we trade blows and weave around each other.

Like all those years ago, in Sylham.

Giuseppe is not an ordinary knight that abides by the Lord of Bluham's orders. He is a special horse that travels around strongholds looking for weak links and reports back to the Emperor himself.

He is the Bat of the Royal Court of Vlahem. He uses aliases, and this time is no different.

"Did your husband teach you how to fight, Giuseppe?" I ask as I block his punch.

"As a matter of fact, he did! Maybe you will catch him around." he smiles as he winds back for a jab.

"You are married?" I am actually surprised. Giuseppe found love? And got married?

"Yes, Will. I even sent you the invitation to the wedding. Of course, you ignored it, doting over the past."

Curse the seven hells! No wonder he is so hard to beat. The "Giuseppe" I knew from Sylham is no more. He now feels more confident in his stride and posture. When I last worked with him, he was called "Eddie" and was a priest at a Forest parish.

The Bat has considerably sharpened its fangs.

"You are not using your magic?" Giuseppe cocks his head to the side, amused.

"I am not a man defined by my magical abilities." I try to land a punch to his side, but he quickly evades. "I can hold my own without them too."

"I really doubt that your musculature will come to your rescue when the Flames charr your body black." Giuseppe steps back. "Sofia would not like to see you like this. You are too weak."

He is joking. I am nowhere near my prime, but there's no way I am that weak. He's chiding me, but I do not feel angry. This feels.. serene. It is like playing a game of chess with utmost concentration, even when you are on the back foot. No way I am losing this contest. I remember what my master used to tell me.

The state of flow.

"Oi, fuckos!"

That ruins the moment.

"Stop foightin' in the corridor! We don't want ye wankers damagin' the pillars and the grownds. Ye hear me?"

I see this small figure walking toward us. She is wrinkly all over and has a noticeable hunched back. Her accent reminds me of the days I was stationed near the coasts. The giggles of the fisherwomen's children would fill the air as we gathered around to look at the day's catch. Shanties and music would rage through the night if the catch were from the deeper parts of the sea.

Giuseppe makes himself presentable. "Sorry, Mrs. Addams, I hope everything is well back home!"

She doesn't reply and walks past us. Who the fuck does this ancient hag think she is?

"She's deaf."

I shouldn't jump to conclusions very quickly. My instincts can only help me during battles.

"She's the head healer in Bluham. A handful, but one of the best."

I thought she was a groundskeeper. I didn't expect to be so far off.

"She is 25 years old."

What the fuck?

Giuseppe looks at me. "I am sorry, Will, that little show might have convinced me, but not the higher officials. I hope you understand."

What higher officials? Those sorry excuses of humans who you call Captains? I can barely control my smirk. Bureaucracy is a curse to the efficient handling of situations. I can most certainly say this fight needs me. The ancient war God Sorka wishes me the best from the heavens, and I can't be any more prepared to face this headfirst.

But deception is critical.

I sigh. "I understand. Where's my room now? I need to rest."

To churn milk, you sometimes need to let the rope go.

- - - -

My room is on the 10th floor, the topmost the palace quarters offer. Giuseppe told me that it was so that I could not "escape" my "responsibilities" rather easily. Whatever that means.

I push the knob and enter the room. A pastel green runs across the walls, while the floor shines a golden brown from the reflection of the Sun. As I stroll around, I can't help but smile. It is completely empty, how I like it. No pleasantry cards, flower vases, and, most importantly, wall clocks.

I despise wall clocks. I hate how they tick-tock through their life and remind me how my youth is slowly fading and how much time I have squandered just by lying on the bed. I cannot think of any other gizmo that reminds a person constantly about death and gives them an existential crisis. Especially those magical clocks which haunted me as a child.

My mom once bought me a magical clock for my tenth birthday, thinking it would cheer me up after I lost a rowing race to a puny little team. Oh boy, how wrong she was. At first, I was intrigued by the small box - so meticulously handcrafted, every edge polished. One could really tell that whoever made it put their heart and soul into creating it. That's when it happened.

It struck one in the afternoon. It made a weird clicking noise, and out sprung a holographic gnome. I have nothing against gnomes, mind you. I swatted the gnome as a reflex. "My, my, if you do not bear well, into the Shack you will go!" he said, his face scrunched into a frown and with his hands on his hips.

I had heard about the Shack from my friends in school. It is where the nasty kids go and rot for eternity. Dread set in, and I pled and cried to my mom that she returned the clock and let me stay with her and Dad. She could barely control her laughter, and it became a dinner story for the guests for years to come.

Well, all that is in the past. But scars seldom heal, and overcoming my personal fears, I mean obstacles, is less straightforward than killing a six-tusked elephant.

I venture out of the room to look down below into the clearing. Giuseppe and two more knights are talking to some council members - it is probably about their next course of action. I hide behind a pillar, ensuring I stay out of their line of sight. I swivel back into my room and lock the door. They will be leaving for Ekona anytime soon. I need them to accompany me without realizing my presence. This will be a tough task. I rarely make myself discreet.

There was one more thing I liked about my room.

The window is large. So large that a man of my frame can easily fit through. I peek down; it is a steep fall. But there's a lot of scaffolding around, probably because of the ongoing renovation. Out in the distance, I recognize a lot of carts and carriages.

I know what I am going to do.

I slowly put one foot on the railing of the window, checking for its strength. It is sturdy enough. There is scaffolding to my right, but it ends abruptly after a depth. I need to move on to other pieces of the scaffolding scattered around until I reach the ground.

I think this is a bad idea.

Well, here goes nothing, I mutter to myself as I embark on an arduous journey. I still can't give myself a valid enough reason to undergo all this, to prove to myself that I am a fit soldier even after all these years. I already know that for a fact - why do I seek validation?

I jump from one platform to another. I am now six floors from the ground. Still, a long way to go down. I look into the distance, I see people already getting into their carriages.

Fuck, I need to be faster. What if I jump across two floors?

Umph.

How did I even think that this would be a good idea? Have I never realized that slow and steady wins the race, like most of the time? Okay, I think I am gonna make it; this is not a bad idea after all-

My foot slips. I tumble to the ground, five floors away. I sigh. Whatever happened to the Wild Dog that terrorized armies in the East? I, indeed, have become rusty. However, my defeat is spiritual and not absolute - I am not going to die. I really did not want to do this, but here goes. I focus on my ankle and the wall and utter, Vuldzim.

Thick green vines pop out of the wall and wrap around my ankle as my face is inches away from the ground. I was not falling as fast as I expected; it would have torn my ankle off if that were the case.

Vuldzim is a handy Forest spell that binds enemies to the ground. I guess I owe Holy Rethia one.

I did not want to use my magic because the usage leaves signatures. Even though the vines disappeared after I willed them, people can read my magical signature to see what I was up to. The last thing I should have on my trail is some hound of the Court.

I sprint toward the carts. The main carriages have already left, but I do not care about them.

Supply carts.

There is no way Giuseppe will expect me among pumpkins and eggplants. The coachman has not arrived yet. I open the door slowly and hop in. There are a lot of sacks here. Onions? Garlic? I am not sure.

I close the door and wait for the coachman to arrive.

Why am I even hiding like I am gonna get "caught"? I can beat the coachman up and drive to Ekona myself. No, this is better. This feels like what I would do if I were at the merchant's ball. I will want to conceal my presence like a sneaky cobra waiting for the opportunity to kill its prey. Yes, that's what I will be. This is merely a taste of what I will have to do.

I hear footsteps. It is the coachman, I reckon. I hear him climb, and clack goes the hinges - he checks if the cart is holding on well. Then, the cart moves slowly to what I hope is Ekona. Going there will take at least ten hours, even with the steed reinforced with animal magic.

I need to get some rest. Today has been a long day.

I think this is going fairly well.

I hope.