They moved very quickly through the trees by their previous standards, but Dem could tell Ina was going slowly so he could keep up. She had offered to carry him, but he had his dignity to maintain. He told her she would be able to respond to threats easier if she didn’t have him in her arms. She could probably tell he was lying through the bond, but he tried to not think about it. He had gotten a bit stronger, more agile, maybe tougher, but her changes were intense. She was probably something like an elder greater beast now. Going from newly ascended to the peak of greater beast, was huge. It took most beasts an entire human lifespan to make such a jump.
He had always loved moving through the trees. It felt safer than running on the ground. They moved from thick branch to branch along the lowest rung of branches. They were still dozens of spans above the ground, but these trees were hundreds of spans high. Even on the lower-rungs, there was a whole new world of plants growing on top of each other. A completely different set of animals lived up here, than on the ground, or in the top canopies. It was easiest to move along this bottom rung of trees because the branches were oldest and thickest here. They were often wider than he was tall. It took a dozen or so spans from where the branch met the trunk before the branch started to quickly narrow and then grow vertically upward. This offered a sort of triangle-shaped platform one could stand on, jump from, or even camp on. Branches were so close together there were spots he could step from one branch to another. Though in a few spots he had to climb up or down the main trunk to get to the next branch.
Ina could simply jump from place to place, using her claws to latch on to whatever sort of branch she had arrived at. She was graceful, maybe too graceful. He lagged behind her, and his eyes kept unconsciously looking in her direction. It got so bad, he had landed wrong on a jump he was making and smacked, face-first, into the trunk of a tree. She had stopped and been concerned, but he had brushed himself off and kept moving. He had to think of other things. Perhaps it would be better when they got back to the hamlets or the settlement. Out here they were alone, together.. He caught his eyes wandering again towards her nimble form.
Life had been fine, dangerous, but fine, just five or so cycles ago. Now everything was wrong. He had made some sort of bargain, unwittingly, against his will practically, and now was suffering for it. He didn’t know with whom or what this bargain was struck, the grimoire was cryptic at best. Dwelling on it it did him little good.
Grimoires were always kind of cryptic though, they were full deep ‘insights’ of Class Masters, whom were undoubtedly full of themselves. Honestly, if he were such a master there would be a lot of temptation to mess with his students by making his teachings sound mysterious or mystical. If you had worked hard enough to get to that point, you deserved to have some fun he supposed.
After most of a cycle of travel they were more than half-way home. Eventually though they needed to stop for a rest, more precisely Ina could have probably kept going but he needed to stop. He was exhausted mentally and physically. He was used being buoyed by the advancement of his path during hunting and scouting excursions like the one they were on. The constant advancement from working together with Ina had made him feel refreshed and powerful. Now he only felt tired, despite an apparent overall increase in stamina thanks to the grimoire.
Hopefully, everything would be uneventful for a time, while he got a grip on himself. He couldn’t avoid Ina, but he also couldn’t put down the sense of temptation she provided. He wanted to advance desperately, and he also.. wanted something more. He even thought about going into the woods and relieving himself somewhere. He thought it might calm him down a bit. He had, of course, done it before when he was younger and more hormonal, but now he knew Ina was paying far more attention through they bond than previously, it became too awkward to consider. He felt trapped, trapped by what he had been taught, his desires, and his conscience.
***
They camped a final time. The branch he choose was a little higher up than usual. This area was controlled by a particularly nasty fighting-bird. Dem reviewed what he knew of them. They were flightless, fast, and would kick their opponents with massive force. Their feet had curved claws three times the length of his hand. If they didn’t destroy you with the force of their kick, they would disembowel you with their claws. The local tyrant was a greater beast, with a small pack of lesser fighting-birds as subordinates. It was aggressive, could jump nearly to the lowest rung of branches, and could kick the trunks of trees hard enough shake prey off low-hanging branches. They weren’t the sort of beast you fought against in a straight fight if you could help it. Ultimately they couldn’t climb or fly, so most people just passed over them.
As he prepared a meal of the camp rations he had bought in the settlement, using a cantrip to warm them, his mind once again began to wander to his problems. Perhaps the new work would help him sort some things out? The party could help him advance in some way maybe, or maybe he and Ina could hunt more. He could throw himself into battle and try begin to advance again by dominating battlefields as best he could. It would be risky, Ina couldn’t help him much, but it was better than the alternative. Ina only had her current form a handful of cycles, and he had considered using her for his own ambitions. It was wrong. She was nearly as old as he was, a powerful fighter, and much more knowledgeable than he ever considered, but it was wrong to think of her that way.
It occurred to him suddenly that he had implicitly assumed she would.. help him. She had said as much, but he had never told her specifically what he needed. He was so used to just directing her to do what he needed to help both of them, that he overlooked an obvious point. Would beastwomen even desire a human? He sort of doubted it. Would she do it for his sake despite that? The thought made him sad. He didn’t know much about many-tailed mating habits. What little information he had read was mostly related to hunting them. Was there a ritual to perform, or was she supposed to be in heat?
He felt yet another wave of guilt, he was still considering it, even though he knew it was wrong. Even if he threw himself into battle, it would be incredibly risky, even with Ina to save him. Taking on a beast without offensive spells or a melee Class was generally considered suicide. Tamers might help a beast in fight, but they didn’t do the fighting. He didn’t want to die. He had chosen not to die, and that had gotten him into this mess. He felt his resolve weaken. Maybe he could explain it to her, or find someone willing to help him for coin in the settlement? He didn’t just need to.. do it.. he had to do so dominantly. He took this to mean either he had to control what was going on, or he had to seduce someone. Maybe he could just do a really good job? What did that entail? He knew the.. mechanics.. but had no experience. Even if Ina was willing, could he do that to her? Would it be painful? He didn’t want to hurt her.
He let out a frustrated sigh. His food had gone cold.
***
Dem prepared the necessary alarm spells so they could rest easy. Ina might guard them, or choose to sleep, he wasn’t sure which. In her current form, she had chosen to sleep more than normally. He peeked at her, and noticed she was looking at him intently.
He sent through the bond, “Is everything alright Ina?”
She was quiet for a moment, but finally spoke “It is nothing, Dem.”
He shrugged his shoulders and began to make a bed of leaves for himself. His leather bag, with a grimoire in it, didn’t make the best pillow, but it was the best he had.
As he lay his head down, he waited to see if Ina would join him. He didn’t know how he was going to get through another period of sleep with her latched on to him. At least he knew what the uncomfortable feeling was, the last time Ina had slept next to him. It had been temptation, and this next period of rest would likely be more temptation.
Just like he had assumed, she came to join him fairly quickly. This time though, she lay awake next to him, looking into the trees. They were less than a half a hand span apart, lying on their backs. Once again he felt drawn to her, wondering if she would do as she had done the previous cycle. He decided he couldn’t take any more of the pressure that was building inside of him wondering what she might do. He decided to just talk to her for a while, hoping that it would put his mind at ease. Perhaps explaining more would make him feel less guilty. He also wanted to get know her better. They had been together so long, but there were probably many things he did not know.
“Ina.. How.. how do you feel about me?” His first question did not arrive smoothly, but it was an important question to him.
“You should already know, Dem.”
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He turned his body to face her, looking at her side-profile he asked, “What do you mean Ina?”
She looked his way without turning her head, “You can know through the bond, Dem. You know that.”
Of course he could, it was probably a stupid question from Ina’s perspective. He had never really bothered to restrict much from his end of the bond. He could ‘narrow’ it in a way, and limit what came through the bond to some extent, but he had never done that. She had been a beast, why would he hide things from a beast? Especially, a beast he trusted implicitly. He had assumed though, despite his end of the bond being ‘open’ she hadn’t been paying attention, when clearly she had been. For the same reason he hadn’t ‘narrowed’ the bond from his side, he hadn’t explored much of her end of the bond. What if…
“Ina is your end of our bond always wide open?” He asked her quickly.
“Wide open? If you mean I allow everything through, yes. You can know what I feel any time, Dem.”
“I know Ina, but do hold anything back? Has it a always been that way? This whole time?” He was a bit flabbergasted, to allow him everything, all the time, was too much. He had only done that with her because he didn’t think it mattered, but clearly she assumed that was the way it was supposed to be.
“No, I hold nothing back, and yes always, all the time. Was that wrong?” She sounded concerned.
“Ina, can I look, into.. your emotions?” This felt.. intimate. He needed permission first, even if she didn’t understand the point of asking.
Usually he would only search the bond for agreement a plan he was hatching, or perhaps to ensure she was doing well. He was always looking for something specific, but this time he wanted to just dive into her feelings. Were all beasts so.. open? He supposed, when you ran on instinct, you didn’t have the same filters or sense of privacy as most humans.
“Yes, Dem, you could have at any time.”
He quickly opened himself up to the bond, and dove into her emotions. He imagined it like sea, which helped him visualize and understand what he felt around him. Its top most layer was serene, not a ripple. Clearly she was confident, but diving deeper he found huge currents which he imagined were her instincts and emotions. He could identify one clearly as her urge to hunt. Another particularly powerful current was her constant predatory hunger. What was he looking for here? Did he want to understand her better, or was he looking for something to give him permission to seek a satisfaction of his urges? Sadness whelmed up in him, what could he do? His sadness only seemed increase by the moment, until he realized he was drifting on a current of Ina’s own sadness and confusion. He examined this current, felt it with his mind, and realized it was a reflection of his own mental state. She was feeling what he felt, and in turn his feelings were being reflected and multiplied. He suddenly wondered what other ‘currents’ were just reflections of his own?
He began to cast about for new currents of feeling, until he found the one that he felt was a reflection of what he wanted from her. It seemed tinged with confusion, but was connected in some way with a deeper primal current. Beastshit, she must know, at least on some emotional level, what he wanted he thought. Her bloodline memories probably offered her some insights into what human men might want from beastwomen.
He pulled back, shame infusing his face, as a tear rolled down his cheek. Some Tamer he was, it had never occurred to him to really explored his bond with Ina in this way. He had thought of it as a tool for better teamwork, for advancing his Path, but for Ina it had clearly been more. She had felt everything had felt, at least to some degree, all the time. He had sensed individual emotions from her at times, but he had been careful not to let him affect his own mental state. He had assumed she was doing the same thing.
“Ina.. I’m really sorry, I had no idea, this whole time. You’ve taken on all my feelings as well as your own.” Tears trailed down both his cheeks now, as he spoke.
He wished he had done better.
“Dem, I don’t understand entirely, but I liked having your feelings and mine mix. I felt closer to you that way.”
She turn to her side to face him, and pulled him into an embrace. This one wasn’t the same crushing embrace she had previously used while she slept, but rather a soft and comforting embrace. Even now, despite his guilt, she was comforting him. Her arms wrapped around him, and he felt a warm feeling rise up from within. This feeling came from Ina, but matched something he felt as well.
He laid like that for a while, until he had calmed down, but his face grew heated. She was just so close to him right now. She held him tight against her body. He could feel.. well all of her. His mind, unconsciously drifted back to what was always on his mind. Ruining the peaceful moment, he suddenly felt curious.
“Ina.. can you tell me more about many-tailed?” He hoped his question sounded innocent. He hoped it was innocent.
“What do you want to know, Dem? The bloodline memories aren’t very detailed, and are hazy at best areas.” She didn’t sound perturbed. He could check through the bond, but wanted to keep asking questions.
Beastshit, he didn’t have a good question ready, he just wanted to know more.
“Uh.. Anything is fine Ina. How many tails will you have as a calamity beast?”
“Tails?” Her tails began to move around them slowly, eventually finding their way different positions around him.
“The memories aren’t that specific usually, but I think my next ascension will give me nine total.”
“Oh, do you get two every time?” he asked. What else could he asked about to keep her talking?
“No, to gain more than nine requires a really significant change much later.”
“I see, Ina. Uh.. do you remember your parents at all?” He hesitantly asked.
Was this a safe topic? Had he just walked into a beast den? Would she be angry or sad?
“Not really, Dem. I’m thankful you found me though.”
“Are you concerned that you were left by yourself? Are you concerned about where your parents are?”
“Dem, I don’t think many-tailed are really parents in the human sense. I was young for leaving the den, but it is often that way with beasts.”
He felt his guts drop at least a span. He couldn’t stop though, he wanted to know more..
“Ina.. how.. do.. many-tailed get together exactly?” He was real smooth wasn’t he.
Up to this point, after she had hugged him, she had been rubbing the top of his head slowly with the soft fur under her throat, but she stopped for a moment.
“Get together? Do you mean their courting ritual or their mating?” Her voice in his mind was the same as it had been for most of her conversations with him. It hadn’t waivered in the slightest.
“Uh.. either, Ina, tell me about either.” He felt hot, and flustered just from asking this question.
“Oh, well when a male many-tailed courts a female many-tailed. He brings her offerings of meat, and anything else he can find that looks tasty, to her den. Sometimes he brings soft leaves to make her den more comfortable with. Sometime he brings her powerful herbs help fortify her Path and constitution. The best gifts are usually just meat, though.”
She squeezed him tighter.
“If the female accepts the gifts, the male and female will have a mock battle. The female will hold pack her strength usually in proportion how much she liked the gifts. If the male is the victorious, then they mate. If the female bares kits, the male may come back to hunt food for her for a while, but many-tailed aren’t meant to stay long in the den of their mother. They are born nearly at the strength of a lesser beast.”
Without thinking he spouted the first thing that came to his head.
“That sounds difficult for the male.”
She.. laughed. He could sense she thought this funny through the bond.
“Male many-tailed are usually weaker than female many-tailed. They are lucky to mate at all. They are also born less often than females. They may take a different mate every rotation if there are enough females around and the male is able to provide enough gifts.”
He felt one her claws prick him slightly in the backside.
“The females do most of the work. The males only have to hunt a bit and then move on.” She actually sounded a bit stern, though through the bond he could tell she thought all this funny.
“I’m sure you’re right! Ina!” The he felt the claw retract.
Had she always been this playful? He didn’t think he had heard her laugh before this. It was deep, and had a musical quality to it. He wanted to ask more questions, but he wasn’t so forward to ask specifics of the mating process.
“Ina.. What do you think of me? W-would you like me to bring you gifts?” He didn’t know what else to ask. So much for a Path driven by his charisma. Would this ruin their bond by making everything awkward?
Thankfully, her voice had started to take on a dreamy quality, and he could tell she was about to fall asleep.
“Dem, you.. You smell so good! You don’t have enough tails or fur, but you smell really good. You never smelled this way before. I don’t know why.” She positioned her face to the crown of his head, and he could feel her do a slow intake of breath through her nose.
“You can bring me.. meat..any…” With that she was asleep, her breathing regular.
He couldn’t tell if this some major breakthrough, or something else. He smelled good? Really good? He need tails and fur? He could bring her meat? Did he really want to do this? Even if he couldn’t do it in such a way that it helped his Path, would he want to court Ina anyway? The warm feeling in his chest, as she had held him, had been a reflection from her to him and from him to her. It had been made more powerful thanks to the bond. It was fantastic. It felt something like the contentment he had before his current troubles started, but a hundred times better.
His mind spun in circles, and the only thing he was sure of was that, once again, he would have trouble sleeping.