“God damn it! Fuck! Get your hands off me, I can walk myself!”

A drunkard stumbled out through the pub’s doors as bystanders watched in annoyance. His hair was unkempt and ragged as it swayed in the air. He tugged and pulled, used every fibre of his body grasping onto a cup of alcohol in his hand before it was confiscated by the guards. He groaned in irritation before stepping onto the streets. Only seconds later to fall onto his knees due to the nausea and dizziness of the alcohol. Bile rushed up to his throat as he vomited his meal’s worth of food onto the footpath.

“Fucking disgusting! Get off the footpath you fuckin’ digrace!”

“What is that man doing? He needs to get a hold of himself…”

Numerous people could only look on with disgust and contempt as he wiped away at the bile on his lips. He struggled to his knees before finding himself walking into the depths of an alley. He stumbled towards the wall as he took out a carton of cigarettes he had pocketed from the pub. He gave off a snarky smile as he lit the cig and put it to his mouth. He inhaled the bitter smoke that pumped his lungs with energy as he released it in delight.

“Ahhh, the only thing that can give me comfort is you my little baby~ And Alcohol, of course…”

He released a lazy smile before abruptly slumping to the ground.

Now that I think about it… how am I going to get home…? I’ll just go call someone…

He brought his mobile phone out of his pocket as he struggled to quick dial his family. Maybe it was his brother or his sister, but he couldn’t decipher the words shrouded behind his blurry vision. Well, it didn’t matter. It would work out either way he thought.

“Hello~ who’s this?”

“Luther? You’re the one who called, you shou- Come on man! Are you drunk again?” a masculine voice popped up from the the opposite side of the line.

“Maybe~ I’m kind of stumped here bro… I don’t know how to get home, how ‘bout lending me a hand??? I’m at Carlton’s...”

“God fuckin’ damn it… why can’t you just get a taxi or something?”

“Well… y’know... near here is the Casino.. And, well, I got some bad luck…”

An audible sigh could be heard from the other side of the line as Luther’s brother gave a brief moment of silence.

“... Alright. Sis is with me, we’ll come and pick you up right away… for fuck’s sake Luther…” the call soon descended into an inaudible mumble as it was cut off.

It left Luther to mull over his thoughts that raced back and forth as he slumped onto the trashbags within the alley. He brought the cigarette back to his mouth as he took a nice old puff - it gave an uneasy sense of calm. Out of his pocket, he took a small bottle of liquor he had smuggled from the pub as well. He smiled in anticipation.

***

“Oh fuck no… Luther… Not again...”

Passed out and slumped within a small backhand alley beside Carlton’s pub was a ragged and unkempt young man. He had a bottle of alcohol resting against his thigh and a cigarette loosely held in his hand. The man lazily raised his gaze as it met a young man of around 18 years of age and a girl who appeared to be in high school. They stared at Luther only in contempt and disgust. In their eyes, there was no pity or mercy for Luther- they had tried to stop his unhealthy habits, yet he still managed to continue in the end. Gambling, drinking, smoking, in some cases, even a small crime like stealing was not the worst they had seen.

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“Come on, get up… we’ll get you home…”

There was no resistance as the sibling duo lifted Luther into the car. He stumbled half-assedly as he swung left and right in disarray. No words left his mouth except for the occasional groans and belches as he - after many tribulations - made it to the car in one piece. The car ride towards Luther’s home then after was silent. He laid seated in the back whilst the sibling duo were within the front, mumbling under their breaths towards one another.

“Jacob, when will he get better? I swear, everyday if he’s not at home watching TV he is out gambling away money! And that’s not the worst thing! It’s OUR families money! Not his! Even yesterday, he had just pawned off the gaming console for his gambling money!”

“I know… but we just need to endure, he’ll get back to his former self eventually… it’s just a phase…”

“ A phase? Are you fucking joking? Look at him! He’s been like this for at least a year by now! Let’s just fuckin’ forget about him! All he’s ever done for our family is tear it apart from the inside out!”

“...”

Heavy silence descended within the car as they arrived at the house. They parked just outside as they lifted Luther at a count of three towards the door. Luther stumbled out of the car and with his siblings help arrived at the house. They navigated throughout the corridors to his room and dropped him on the bed. By this time, Luther had became slightly awake as he tried to lift himself from the bed with desperate effort. The siblings watched him with apathy as he got onto his feet, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish... surely he wouldn’t…?

“I need… I need a favor… I need some money...”

“Luther…”

Jacob sighed, it was the calm before the storm as he looked Luther into his eyes. They were glossed over with a drunken haze of greed and stupidity. This time, Luther’s trips to the casino and pub would stop - Once. And. For. All.

“... Let’s keep it simple. We’ve had enough of your bullshit. Get the fuck out.”

Luther as if not comprehending the situation stared at Jacob with a hint of confusion as he tried to laugh it off.

“Hahaha, funny joke! That was fu-” before he could finish, he was cut off by his brother.

Jacob stared at Luther with resentment in his eyes. Their family had suffered for long enough. Had endured through his continual gambling and alcohol addictions to the point of rage that no other family member should harbor for another. He would speak for his family here and now. He would fix this problem himself.

“You heard me. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

“Y-you can’t be serious Jacob… You aren’t even mum or dad! They’re the owners of the house, so you can’t honestly decide thi-”

“I don’t think you understand Luther. Everyone hopes you’ll leave, haven’t you seen them? Their faces when they talk to you? How they look at you for always gambling and drinking? Right now, you’re a fucking waste of space. So make it easier for the rest of us and get out.”

Luther expressed a brief moment of anger before it was cooled off by the fear in that he may be cast out of the house once for all. Grasping for straws, he looked over to his sister, Rachel, as he pleaded to her that this wasn’t the case.

“C-come on now… Rachel, that can’t be true… right? Just give me one more chance, I’m sure I can fix my habit!”

All Luther got in return was silence and a glance before she moved out of the doorway. It was more than enough an answer for Luther than any other.

“F-fine! Who the fuck needs a family like you fucks?”

In the heat of the moment, Luther stumbled out of the house as he held onto the corridors for support. He finally managed to find his way to the door as he returned his gaze to the two siblings who followed him. Yet, before he could even get a glance or utter a word, the door was abruptly slammed into his face as he fell onto his ass.

“Y-you fucking assholes! You’ll fucking regret this…”

He brushed himself down before walking down the streets. His rage expressed all throughout his face as he looked at the sky which was going from its featureless blue into a dark night.

Damn, it's getting late...

By the time Luther found himself a few streets from home, he realised how much he had screwed up. The arrival of regret that was unfamiliar and bitter came as he reminisced over what he had done.

Shit… I shouldn't of said that. What will I do…?

But the regret was only fleeting as he found himself outside of that very same pub where he had began.

Maybe one drink will help to calm me down…

***

Not even hours later, Luther laid unconsciously slumped in the alleys near the pub. He snored away all his worries as he left them for the Luther of another day. In the sheer cold of the dark he shivered without the comfort of a bed and home. Or perhaps, it wasn’t the cold that made him shiver, but something else. His body trembled as thoughts that were unfamiliar yet familiar stirred within his mind. As if a fleeting dream, he was left to indulge in its contents as sweat began to coat his skin. Deaths of loved ones, agony immeasurable to anything he had ever endured, the yearning to change for the better… regret for what he had done to his family… it all welled up inside of him as he writhed and turned in his sleep. Emotions so intimate and expressive engraved themselves into his being. Then, as if he woke from a nightmare - Luther jolted up with eyes wide open.