I should have known better. We could never afford a super luxurious holiday to a big city. I wasn’t told where we were going until we got to the airport in the nearby city. I had to slap on a smile for mum because this shit is expensive and she did this for me. Nothing prepares you for life outside of a dainty little town. Nothing. Everything is on a scale so grand my brain can hardly comprehend it. The airport could easily fit our house a hundred times and then some. I stick to mum’s side like a toddler, the crowds are gigantic and I fear if it were to get a hold of me then it might never let go. Mum puts on a brave face for me but inside she’s probably more nervous than me, it's not like she’s been out of town before. Despite existing to protect us and everyone else in the airport, the guards scare me most of all. What if I forgot to take something out plays on my mind constantly, and as time goes on the worries only grow more ridiculous. What if I have a knife, maybe I have a bomb. With things like this flying through my head I'm just glad they can’t read minds.

I'm glad the taxi was half an hour late because it's as if something in here is slowing time. Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours but I feel as if it's been an eternity. Finally the flight board pings and we steadily merge with the crowds around us and make our way towards our plane.

“Holy shit”

It's little more than a whisper but she catches it and for as much as she must want to scold me she just giggles at my awe. No way in hell does that fly, they are far bigger in person. We are getting closer to the front of the line and with every step I can feel my heart pounding, trying to break free from it’s fleshy prison. I’ve never felt anything like this, this fear. It’s primal, fight or flight, every bone in my body does not want to get on that tube of sheet metal and rivets. My brain knows better. I have to get on this… for Mum. Backing out now would crush her and least of all make me a coward. I bite the bullet and eventually take my seat, more adrenaline pumping with each second that passes. I must be able to hold a brave face so Mum doesn't seem to pick up on my anxiety.

Takeoff is worse than I ever could have imagined. My ears are going crazy, like they could bleed at any second and the wings themselves are shaking so much they are liable to just snap right off. Getting on this plane is the most agonizing, worst decision of my entire life… until it isn't…

Within ten minutes we are clear above the clouds dotting the patchwork of green below us. Only when I look to the horizon as opposed to the floor does it get better. The sun is barely holding its place in the sky giving off an absolutely gorgeous orange glow that cascades along the border of land and sky. It's a magnificent muted tone, a pastel sunshine. Within a matter of seconds my anxieties just melt away and the world is beautiful again.

Landing wasn’t as bad as takeoff. Most likely because I was too tired to realize what was going but it's probably for the best that I wasn't fully awake. It's morning when we land, though I don't know exactly when. I catch a glimpse of a clock as we make our way through customs. six twenty three, no wonder we are so tired.

“How was it?” Mum sounds as knackered as I feel

“It was alright…” I look at her to gauge her reaction and she has a playful smile on her face.

“Im joking, it was the most incredible thing”

Her smile only grows and she plants a kiss on my cheek and pulls me to her side, it's warm.

When we finally get our bags and leave the airport it's easily seven. With the sun beating down on us I feel as though my skin may well melt right off of my bones. This is nothing like I imagined it would be. I expected a baron wasteland but it's mesmerizing. Towers of all shapes, sizes and colours loom across the skyline and my eyes can't focus on one place for more than a second. Mum leads me to a taxi and we head off for the hotel. The route takes us out of the city and towards the desert and to my surprise it's just as pretty. Greenery speckles the plains on all sides and to my pleasant surprise the cliffs have clean stripes of reds and yellows, a truly captivating site. As we get out of the taxi I can do nothing more than embrace Mum in a loving embrace, this is the best gift anyone has ever given me.

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“Easy now, we've not done anything yet” I can't see her face but if her giggle is anything to go on she’s over the moon.

We couldn’t get much done day one because apparently you have to book things in advance. I wasn't mad, it was nice walking around markets and the surrounding town with my mother. She is always working so we don't get to spend much time together, besides from monthly movie night. So this holiday will give us some time together. Even if it is only three days.

I hardly slept at all on this trip, despite the beds being fit for royalty and the fittings making the room take on a look resembling a noble house from the 1800s. Even through the dead of night the heat is relentless, it really doesn't help that the air conditioning is broken. In spite of the heat I roll off of the bed unencumbered by the weight of the covers and land firmly on the floor with a resounding thud. Fuck. my clothing choice over here doesn't deviate too much from my usual get-up, consisting of my half shorts and cut out top, if it aint broke don’t fix it. I'm not surprised when there is a hammering at my door, my mother is nothing if not consistent. She is standing tall as she can hope to and she has a blazing aura of positivity emanating from every fibre of her being. I can feel the effects of my sleepless nights just falling off of me and I perk up instantaneously. “You’re up early” the words tumble out of my mouth masked by a stifled yawn.

“Well it's our last day; so we better make the most of it” her positivity never falters and a smile creeps it’s way across my lips.

“Where are we going today?” I already know, the one place we have yet to go...

If this trip has taught me one thing it’s do not under any circumstances mess with the sun. Out here it comes at you from all sides, turning the very ground we walk on into a skillet. Out in the desert you have to decide which of two ways you want to suffer; you either, A. Literally be burned alive. Or B. Boil in a bag of your own clothing. I chose the latter and I'm forever wiping beads of sweat from the tiny portion of my skin that's still exposed to the deadly lazer in the sky. And in spite of the heat it's incredibly serene in the desert. Even the omens of death that circle our small cluster of crusaders are calming in a strange way.

We all spend the day chatting with the two couples joining us: spotting funnily shaped cacti and comparing our experiences in this foreign land. Up until that point we collectively didn't have a care in the world. I can feel something in the ground moving, maybe a big snake or something. It's only when my legs turn to jelly beneath me that I can’t dismiss it anymore, and I'm not the only thing that notices anymore. “Earthquake!” Our guides fumble and panic as they try to get their camels away from the colossal pillars of stone, sparing no thought for our safety. The other tourists follow suit and get to a clearing. I can't get up, I put all of my energy into getting away from the spires but I can manage little more than a lazy crawl.

“Get to the clearing!” it was worth a shot, but

Mum won't leave me in danger. She lands beside me on her knees ready to sweep me up and carry me to safety. But it was never going to be that easy. The vibrations appear to change direction, something that would have gone unnoticed if I wasn't on all fours, so close to the murderous earth. Before I can call out to my distressed parent once again the ground decides it’s rather hungry and tries to swallow us whole. It all happens so fast that I don't remember falling. Mum is sat up with a forced smile trying to tell me she's okay, her tears say otherwise.

“Sinkhole” a giggle escapes her and we share a moment of uncontrollable joy and laughter. We’re alive, bouncing around my head, our guides peer over the edge of the immense bowl that formed around us, they seem so small beside the large pillars around the circumference, spared by millimeters.

The guides throw down an old rope that looks like it could snap with a strong gust of wind and we start to climb out. Understandably mum has some trouble, shaking in fear and that; also given the fact climbing such a steep incline would be a challenge as is. When my turn comes I'm blown away by how easy it is. I find it far easier to look at my feet because I forget how high up I am, although it is slightly more difficult to find the rope without looking at it. When I eventually reach the top I catch a quick glimpse of my hands and I almost fall right back in. When did I put on arm warmers?! Why are my fingers green?! The worries pass as quickly as they arrived, mum’s hands clasp my arm and keep my feet firmly on the ground. When I open my eyes to see nothing wrong with my arms a sigh of relief escapes me, mimicked by everyone around me (clearly for a very different reason).

TO BE CONTINUED.