Throttle Twenty-Two

“There’s not much to say,” Diana replied as she started towards her ship.

“Ahvie doesn’t need your entire life story, just… Ahvie thinks that maybe Miss Diana is more strange than Ahvie thought at first.”

Diana blinked. “You thought I was strange?”

“Ahvie still thinks you’re strange,” Ahvie said. “Ahvie has never seen an alien like you. Ahvie hasn’t seen every sort of person though, she’s sure. But Ahvie suspects that if there are others like Diana around, then everyone would know about them.”

“Because of my race’s striking good looks?”

Ahvie tilted her head to one side, ears twitching back. “No, because you’re... you.”

“Her assessment isn’t inaccurate,” ChaOS said. “Were other humans around, they would likely make something of a splash. Taking into account the information I found in publicly available medical records, it’s clear that humans wouldn’t stand out too much physically or mentally. Several races are faster, several more are smarter, some are far more durable. But few are as reckless, nor have most races in Federation space taken the same technological path.”

“Medical records?” Diana asked.

“Some records are broadcasted freely with information such as dietary requirements, patterns to tell if a person of a specific race is in distress, and things such as normal ranges for weight, colouration, heart-rate, and other vital signs. It seems as if the intent is to inform a layperson of relevant facts in case of a medical emergency.”

That seemed terribly logical to Diana. “Alright. Anyway, Ahvie, where do you want me to start?”

“What’s a human?” Ahvie asked. She actually tried to say the word ‘human’ in English, instead of the language she’d been speaking the entire time. Diana had to stop herself from giggling at the strange squeak. Ahvie’s tongue wasn’t well suited to Hs.

“Humans are, uh, well, I’m a human. Female, specifically. We’re a species with two sexes. I’m in my late twenties, which is more or less a younger adult for a human. We’re from the Sol system… and, uh… wow, I have no idea how to describe humans.”

ChaOS stepped in. “Humans are warm-blooded primates, characterised by their bipedal motion, omnivorous diet, and large brain. They are one of the most wide-spread species on their home planet, owing to their ability to adapt to various climates and their use of tools. They are usually land-dwelling and diurnal, with a propensity to live in groups. Though all of those tendencies will be defied by individuals within the species.”

“Ahvie thinks she understands,” Ahvie said. “You’re not one of the major Federation species, obviously, but Ahvie thinks you’re not a minor species like the mirian either. Are you from the outer edges? We’re close to the border of well-colonised space. And ChaOS, are you a male human?”

Diana shook her head. “Major and minor species?”

“The Federation Council has a few civilizations that rule it; the species that hold majority within these civilizations tend to be called major species. Minor species are those who do not have as much representation, though the terms are not officially recognized at all,” ChaOS said.

“Right, well we’re from way outside of Federation space. Like… way-way out there. Had a bit of an accident with some of my ship’s equipment and ended up being flung across the galaxy.”

“Really?” Ahvie asked.

“Got the data for it stored and everything,” Diana said. “It might actually be worth something, now that I think about it. If you could control it to be more precise, I bet it would make for great FTL. Uh, assuming I wasn’t in some sort of out-of-time thing and thousands of years haven’t passed while I wasn’t paying attention?”

“I can confirm that we are within days of your departure from Sol, give or take a few hours,” ChaOS said. “Unless there was a great shift in galactic drift, then the travel-time was nearly non-existent.”

“Neat, so we broke causality,” Diana said. “Cool.”

ChaOS sighed, and Diana couldn’t help but roll her eyes. He didn’t have lungs to sigh with; he was literally just playing a recording of a sigh to express his exasperation. “As for your question pertaining to my sex, Miss Ahvie, I am an AI, and therefore am sexless.”

Ahvie tripped over nothing and stumbled forwards a few steps. “What?”

Diana watched her new friend, curious at the wide-mouth expression on her face. “ChaOS is an AI. I got him when I was… was it eighteen?”

“Nineteen. You needed a ship-board AI for the Sol-Moon Rally.”

“Right!” Diana said.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

“An actual AI?” Ahvie asked. “Like, he’s… it’s a machine with no organic parts?”

“Yeah, this tin can’s all code.”

ChaOS shook his robot’s head. “I find that somewhat insulting. Technically I inhabit a matrix onboard the Star Skimmer at the moment, as well as a small module within this body.”

Ahvie pointed to ChaOS. “You’re not in there?”

“I am ‘in here’ insofar as I am piloting this body,” ChaOS said.

“You’re really a computer?”

“Yes.”

Ahvie shook her head. “th-that’s so illegal.”

“Really?” Diana asked. “ChaOS told me the communication tech around here was kinda bad, but I didn’t think that meant you guys didn’t have AI.”

“Point of fact, the communication technology isn’t entirely of poor make. Some systems obviously need maintenance, but the underlying technology itself is on par or surpasses that found in Sol. It’s their communication standards and information security that are lagging far behind.”

“You can’t have an AI in Federation space!” Ahvie said. “They were banned hundreds of cycles ago!”

“Well that’s stupid,” Diana said.

“Just because your AI has good leashes on it, doesn’t mean that the Federation won’t fine you for having him, then destroy him. Ah, sorry, Mister ChaOS. Ahvie doesn’t mean to insult you, it’s just…”

“I understand,” ChaOS said. “You are reacting in a way that can be expected from someone raised with your social and cultural background.”

Diana shrugged. “I’m not going to get rid of ChaOS. If the Federation wants to take him, then I’ll fight them over it. Besides, ChaOS doesn’t have any leashes. He can take care of himself.”

“Unleashed AI,” Ahvie muttered. “That’s so illegal. Next you’ll pull out zero-point energy and nanomachines.”

“Zero-point energy? Yeah, I don’t have that. Nanomachines though? Got trillions of those.”

Ahvie made a squeaking laugh that sounded nervous even to Diana’s untrained ears. She stared at Diana. “You’re not joking.”

Diana gestured to the ship. They were near it already, despite their slow, meandering walk. She opened a configuration panel in the augmented reality overlay in her mind, and added a quick modification to the front side of the Star Skimmer.

The armoured panel there turned from red to grey, then started to melt outwards. With all the speed of frozen molasses pouring out of a bucket, it took the shape of a winglet at the front of the ship, then turned back to being as red as the rest of the vessel.

“See?” Diana said.

“The ship has nanomachines?” Ahvie asked.

“No, the ship is nanomachines,” Diana corrected.

Ahvie whimpered.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Diana asked.

“Can they self-reproduce?” she asked. “If they can’t, then maybe it’s not that bad? Some very high-end ships have armour that can self-repair.”

“Of course they can reproduce, what if I need more?” Diana asked.

Ahvie whimpered some more. “But they can’t consume raw materials for that, right?”

“How else would they reproduce?” Diana asked. “The ship has printers and fabricators that can change the properties of atoms, but we can’t just make something from nothing.”

Ahvie covered her face with both hands. “H-how much damage could that ship do to this station?”

“With or without its weapons?” Diana asked.

“It’s armed?” Ahvie asked.

“You should note that humans in general are exceptionally aggressive at times, and usually tend to presume that anything and everything around them will also act in an aggressive manner. Because of this, they generally prefer to be armed. When it comes to matters of armament, the general consensus amongst humanity is that more weapons is better than less.”

“Oh no,” Ahvie said.

Diana grinned and deployed the guns on the Star Skimmer. All of them.

The ship went from a sleek, if predatory vessel, to a bristling mess of cannon barrels, missile racks, and glossy laser arrays.

“Oh no no,” Ahvie said.

“Ah, don’t worry,” Diana said as she had the ship return to its more usual shape. “I wouldn’t use my massive amounts of firepower irresponsibly. I promise.”

“I’m saving a recording of you saying that,” ChaOS said. “For posterity.”

“Don’t be so dour,” Diana said. “You’re going to make Ahvie nervous.”

“Indeed. It is my words that will make Miss Ahvie nervous, and not your words combined with your actions.”

Diana frowned at the robot. “I’m not that bad. Anyway, Ahvie, this is good news for you, right? We can just turn my ship into a cube or something to store it away. More room for stuff aboard your ship!”

***