Chapter 15 Bacon

It took no time at all to find the Boar’s trail, a Blind person with no tracking ability could still track this thing. Uprooted trees, not saplings, actual trees clearly marked the trail. We gathered all examples of the Herbs that were in the torn up earth as we traveled through the area. When we finally found the Boar, the size of its wallow was impressive. It was six times longer than I was tall. Marie leapt up into a tree, and took aim. Somehow we managed to not alert it at all, and a well placed Arrow put the creature down. “Well this is anti climactic. Not that I’m complaining, but I was basically useless this trip.” An overjoyed Maries leapt into my arms. “I leveled up! I match you in levels now!” I checked her status, and she was correct. Even if her stats were lower, the modifiers for her class made up a lot of ground. “Nice, I think you might be able to take me out in a fight, provided you could keep the range open most of the time.” Shock crossed her face. “I would never!” I kissed her. “I know you wouldn’t, but the ability is there, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Don’t even joke about that!” I smiled as I stroked her hair. “Ok, I won’t say things like that anymore, but it wasn’t a joke, or a fear. It was just a statement of fact. Your war potential is rather high compared to the average quester.” Somewhat mollified, she smiled back, and returned my kiss. “MMMM! You’re not making things easy Mark. You want me to be a good girl, and wait, but your kisses.” I chuckled a little, and pulled away. Slapping my own face, I turned and faced the boar. “Like you said, Boar First.” Purely because of the size of the creature, it took over an hour to process the carcass. I had brought a barrel, and used it to collect the fresh blood. “Looks like we can make a decent batch of salt with this.”

“Theresa will be happy about that.” Marie commented as we started walking back, with all the spoils in my storage. I inspected the trees as we went, and stored all the fallen trees that would either make good lumber, or firewood. “We’ll keep the firewood for ourselves, but take the lumber trees to the lumberjack camp so they can get materials from them.” We angled our return track to pass by the Lumberjack Camp, and were well received when we offloaded all the trees we had brought. They were even happier when we showed off the tusks of the Boar, knowing the woods were as sage as they were before. Walking into the Guild hall some time later, and handing in our proof, as well as the hide, and a good chunk of the meat, we didn’t QUITE manage to leave before the Master caught ut. “Well done you two, but we still need to talk about Marie’s class. I have time now, if you’d please come into my office for a moment.” Shaking my head a little, we followed her into the room. “SO,.. how did you do it?”

“It’s a lot easier than you’d think. Marie already had the Assassin class from her family line. From there, it’s just adding Bow Skills. They comment each other, so her knife throwing skill upgraded her Bow Skills the second they unlocked.” The Master looked at me. “That’s it? An Epic class, lost for a Millennium, and it’s just one additional skill from Assassin? I know her Bow is unlike anything else, but you had that designed so it didn’t cause her evolution, she had that before you got her the bow. Used a hunter’s bow as I understand it. Why does so many of the groundbreaking discoveries you make come off as something we should have already known!” I laughed at that. “Oh that’s nothing, My Father didn’t know that a Woman only bleeds the first time she has sex, now I’ve explained how it ACTUALLY works, he and Mom are going at it hammer and tongs. I expect to have a blood sibling before long. Doubt it will even take a year. Going to have to sterilize that room before I forget too.” “…” She looked at me shocked. “It’s true master, we heard them last night. They were at it repeatedly for hours. I think they’re both enjoying the experience now. I saw him shortly after breakfast, and he was glowing, and somewhat smug about things. Rather funny.” “…”

“Are you ok?” “I wish I was younger, I might have asked to join in with you, I never tried to marry, because I thought having it once, and never again sounded cruel. This is going to change the world as we all know it. Probably for the better. Hmmm, your Mother is actually a good friend of mine.” I held up my hand. “Stop right there, whatever you do, don’t tell ME about it! That’s between you, and them.” She smiled sheepishly. “Well, I guess I can respect that boundary. You don’t mind me trying though?” I shook my head. “I just don’t want to hear about any of it, except when, and if, it’s official. That’s all. I’ll welcome you as a Mom, I kind of think of you like one, but I don’t want details.” Marie smirked at me.

“Maybe we should go now, before your head explodes in embarrassment. You know, you’re less embarrassed about having multiple future lovers than of the thought of your Parents being active again. Even though it’s your fault they are active again.” She giggled at me. “Hey, I’m happy for them, but it’s just not Kosher to know about your own parents activities. It’s also weird that Mom was proud of me for having multiple future wives. That reminds me, I need to visit a silver smith. Not that I can’t afford Gold, but I think silver looks better.” We went to the Market, and picked up a ring for every girl, including the two Undines, but I also bought a few extras in different sizes. I spotted Rose going around town, introducing herself, and making it clear she was a Gnome, not a Human, and fully adult. After that we went to Blanche’s Tavern. “Oh Mark Dear,…is there anything you want to tell me? Hmmm?” I laughed. “Yes actually Future Mother in law.” I smirked at her. “What, you haven’t tried yet? What’s taking so long, are you waiting for Marie, so see if she’s pregnant or not?!” Marie and I both shook our heads. “Wouldn’t matter either way. I haven’t touched any of them yet, but currently I have nine future wives, Theresa included. Also, don’t think you’re getting away with just a few grandkids from us, I imagine Theresa will have at least three, if not more.”

Now Blanche was smirking. “Oh Ho, you expect you’re so special you’ll make Triplets with her?” Marie laughed. “No Blanche, we all have it wrong about how that works. You only bleed the first time, AND it’s about the time of month if you get pregnant or not. SO, get busy with your Man again, maybe Blanch can have a blood sibling, instead of a half. How’d you luck into a man that would make three children like that?” Blanche’s mouth hung open, fit to catch hummingbirds, or even frogs.

“That’s not the main reason we stopped by, though it was important. We hunted a Great Spiny Boar, so I have a Ton of Meat. How much can you use? I’m taking a bit home for my adopted children and siblings, as well as my Future Wives naturally, and I know Theresa will make good use of what I bring her, but you can undoubtedly use a fair chunk here too.” Just then two slightly older girls came up behind Blanche. “Mother Blanche, who is this?” “Ah Debra, and Margret, THIS fine young man, is marrying your Sister, she’s already living with him, and he’s got meat for us. A great spiny boar no less.” Their eyes bulged at the news, both of their Sister getting a Man, and the Meat. Margret piped up. “I don’t know what’s more important, the Man, or the Meat!?” Debra who had spoken first. “As much as I’d like to say Man, we have to cook that Meat first. He’s not going anywhere right. Maybe, he’ll.” I held up a hand. “Sorry girls, I can’t handle siblings. Just not a line I’m willing to cross, it’s a Morals thing, and not something I can break so easily. Also it’s about keeping any future children safe. If people who are too closely related by blood make a child, they can have problems because of it.” The two were clearly sad, but accepting of my reason. “You can come visit anytime though, even stay the night as long as there’s space, and with the huge house I had built that shouldn’t ever be a problem. In fact, I expect she’d like you two to stay for at least a week right now. We have all my adopted girls, both the daughters nine and under, and the sisters ten and up, as well as the Orphan boys who are staying for a while so the Orphanage can be upgraded without putting them at risk.” Blanche was surprised. “Just how many are we talking about?”

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I scratched my head. “Well as to sisters, there’s a total of seven. Five adults, though one is Rose the Gnome, and had been hiding with the younger ones at the Orphanage to avoid creeps like the man who took her unwillingly. Ass thought she was an actual child, and when he realized she wasn’t he left her in a bloody mess afraid to even look at a Man for a bit. If I ever catch that sicko,…it won’t be pretty. Then one at eleven, and one at ten. For my daughters, that’s eleven,…I think? Zack is the only boy that was Adopted, because he’s blood related to one of my daughters. Sasha if I’m not mistaken. Then another twenty boys all ages.”

“Goodness, that’s a small army, and twice as energetic I expect. If you girls want to help your Sister for a Week, I’ll manage here, at least once we get that Boar meat sorted. I could use around forty pounds of that.” I want to the meat processing counter, and dropped a large chunk of the hind leg. “That do, or would you like a different cut, that’s a bit of the hind shoulder there.” She smiled at my courtesy. “That’s perfect actually. If I had the time, I’d deal with the tripe, but Theresa knows all about that, and her sister’s can help too.” I snapped my fingers. “Almost forgot, Theresa sent some of the salt I made for you.” I took a small pouch out, and handed it to her. “Made, what do you mean?” She opened the pouch seeing the crystals. “It’s actually processed animal blood, tastes a little like the animal it came from, but otherwise it’s just salt with some extra good stuff. Need to take the taste into account when using it, but it’s cheap.” She took a small pinch, and tasted it, her eyes lighting up. “I can use it, not as good as some I’ve had, but if it’s cheap, and steady as you make it sound, it’ll be a blessing for the whole town!” She gave me a motherly embrace.

Debra, and Margret also gave a hug. “We’ll be out as soon as we’re done here.” Marie and I hugged them all in return. “I’m so glad I thought to have a Smoke House built, cause I’m gonna need it with this Boar.” Confused looks greeted my statement. “Seriously, you haven’t heard about Smoke Houses,…You are going to LOVE me when I bring your first portion of Bacon then. Sausages too. You have no idea what you’ve been missing with smoked foods.” I grinned at them impishly. Marie just sighed while shaking her head. “You’ll get used to this, he’ll say something like it should be obvious, but we’ve never known anything about it, and yet, he’s always right, or close enough it just takes a little work to figure out how he went wrong, and fix it.”

With that, we headed back to the farm, and couldn’t help but spot Penelope and her family at the mill. Eight wives, seven brothers, her father, and her. She was standing with a proud expression on her face, as their dumbfounded expressions were priceless to behold. “What did I tell you? No more hand grinding flour or meal huh?” They all looked at me dazed. “This is insane, how did you even come up with this. That mill will grind an entire year’s worth of grain in a week compared to hand grinding it!” Penelope’s father was almost outraged at my Mill being so much better than what he had. “Don’t be angry, be happy, Now you can take turns working one day at a time, and do the same amount of work, or more, with plenty of idle time. Meaning perhaps you can gain some other sources of income as well. I told Penelope’s Mother that there’d be no competition, because you’d take charge of this mill, and only use the old shop as a pick up location.” He was stunned now. “She didn’t mention that part.” “Bet she did, and you tuned her out. I’m guessing you tune them out quite often actually.” All eight women nodded in unison, and he upon seeing this looked sheepish.

“Maybe I need to work on that.” I slapped him on the shoulders. “NOW, let Penelope teach you the literal ropes, so you can all get some practice working the Mill here, then start planning on where to expand. What other communities can support a proper mill like this, and where do you Son’s want to move eventually.” The young men looked at one another, then they all got a somewhat evil grin. “I like the way you think Mark, we can each make a killing with a Mill like this in another town.” The oldest of the Brothers had spoken. “What’s family for, if not to lift each other up.” “Family?” Penelope looked even prouder. “Yup, he’s accepted me as a future wife. I already have eight sister wives to share him with too!” The brothers looked around at the fields, all clearly planted, and the huge house, the pottery shed, the smithy, and the mill itself, then the smiling women, and happy children everywhere, then in unison nodded. “We can accept that. She’s clearly happy, and it hasn’t even happened yet.” They all clapped me on the back in solidarity, as did their father. “Got my eight son after all, even if a little different than I expected. This is still great!” The men all went off with Penelope to learn the Mill’s operations. While the Women all gave me a motherly hug of acceptance. Marie smirked at the exchange.

Next stop was the Kitchen, to hand over a good chunk of Boar Meat. “Hey beautiful, do you think anyone can handle making blood salt? I have a Barrel of Boar Blood to get processed, but I can do it myself once I setup something else if I need to. Also how much Boar Meat do you want right now, and when do you want the Tripe, and what other organ meat do you need?” Theresa was stunned momentarily, then went into executive mode. She told me to put all the organ meat into a specific bucket she had on hand, which I did, then to place a sixty pound chunk of shoulder on the counter, while she setup the oldest girls to make the salt. They all greeted me warmly, and eagerly took to learning how to make the salt.

I then setup to make Bacon in the Smoke House, and once the fire was going, and all the Bacon hung, and salted, I went inside to make some sausages. I had kept the intestines for that purpose, and Theresa watched me like a hawk as I worked. One of the things I had made for the Kitchen was a meat grinder which is something nobody else knew about. Watching it pulverize the previously useless tough chunks of meat into ground meat was like Christmas for her, I then mixed in seasonings to the meat, including some of the salt, and stuffed the cleaned intestines making links to hang in the smoker. The volume of links was massive due to the size of the Boar, and even then there was still sausage meat without skins. I hung the links along side the Bacon, and quickly exited the smoke filled enclosure. I tended the fire to ensure it wouldn’t stop smoking, or cool down too quickly, then went to see who was about.