The next day:

It's no use being miserable about it. Now that I know what I know, I have to do something about it. So, I was thinking what - and how?

One really difficult part of the problem is Antonius. If I confront him about what I know, he'll tell Silas. Then Silas will do something about it, and whatever that will be, it will not be good if he realises he can't keep on obliviating me...

I can't face Antonius though. I don't think I can keep up a pretence that nothing has happened. I don't want to go near him. I've been avoiding him all day.

I can't believe how stupid I've been. I ignored every instinct that I've always had about him. I just suddenly allowed myself to think everything was going to be ok - I let my guard down.

Thinking about it, Silas' plan with the Muggleborn Rebellion to somehow manipulate society must be working quite well if it was able to make me change my mind so suddenly about someone like Antonius, of all people!

I was so furious at him, I didn't know how I would be able to stand even trying to speak to him about anything now.

I just refuse to waste more tears. I'm finished with him! I just wish I knew what to do.

Later:

I was sitting on a bench in the Transfiguration Courtyard, trying to hide away in a corner, away from where Antonius could bump into me and try talking to me.

"Cathy?"

I looked up.

It was Max.

"What's the matter?"he asked.

"Everything,"I said.

He sat down next to me,"how can everything be the matter?"he asked.

"I found a way to return obliviated memories,"I said,"but Silas can't know! No one can know!"

"You did?"Max said, raising his eyebrows,"wait - you did what?"

"A potion,"I said,"to restore obliviated memories."

"So now you remember everything Silas made you forget,"Max said.

I nodded.

"Well, there's no use being miserable about it,"Max said,"you can't undo what has been done."

"It's not that,"I said,"I discovered some things."

"Like what?"he asked.

"Like it's too difficult to explain in words,"I said.

"You can try,"Max said,"I'm listening."

I looked at him for a moment. Was he part of this too? What if he was also one of Silas' spies? How could I trust him? How could I trust anyone?

Well, I'd already told him a crucial piece of information, so I might as well sink the whole damn ship.

"What do you know about Silas?"I asked him.

"I've known Silas since I first came to this school,"Max said.

"Were you always friends?"I asked.

"Not quite,"Max answered,"certainly not in the 1st Year. I can't actually remember exactly when I became friends with him. I don't even know if 'friends' is the right word. He's always been like an organiser. He's the one that does things, has the ideas. Me and a lot of the others just kind of followed him around. He draws you in, tells you what you want to hear, and some things you don't want to hear, and provides solutions for all of these problems. Not always the best solutions..."

"He's really popular with the Gryffindors, isn't he?"I said.

"Not all of us,"said Max,"some of us see him for who he really is. Your sister, Lotty, she always has. Then there are those that never joined APS. At the time, we thought they were just apathetic. Silas really did make us believe there was a rise of Pureblood-supremacist 'ideas', and all kinds of bad things could happen if we didn't do something about it. He's good at that - making you feel afraid, like you need to do something, and then telling you what to do, so you feel like you're in control."

"Why do you think he's doing it?"I asked.

"I think he likes the power,"Max answered,"it makes him feel powerful and heroic. Though he always has been a bit sadistic."

"A bit?"I said.

"He's gotten a lot worse lately,"Max replied.

"Do you know anything about his family? Where he comes from?"I asked.

"Why do you need to know that?"Max asked.

"I feel like it's relevant to what I now know,"I explained.

"I don't know anything about his family,"Max responded,"I've never heard him mention his parents or any relatives. He never talks about them."

"Not even when you're going home for the holidays, or coming back from them?"I asked.

"No,"Max replied,"you know, I never really thought about that before."

"Didn't you write to him during the holidays?"I asked,"didn't you contact him at all?"

"No,"Max answered,"usually, he would write to us, if he needed to know something, but not the other way round. He didn't like to be disturbed."

"Have you ever seen Silas speaking to Antonius?"I continued.

"I have a few times,"Max said,"but what would that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know if I can explain to you what I know,"I said,"but... I might be able to show you."

"Show me?"Max asked.

I took out a bottle of the memory potion.

"Priscilla said that if she drank this potion, she would probably see all of my obliviated memories instead of hers, because that's how the potion works,"I said,"so if you drink it, you'll be able to see my obliviated memories, then you'll understand what I know. But I'm hoping it doesn't show you ALL my memories..."

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

"Hold on! Hold on! That does NOT sound like a good idea,"Max said,"I think my head would explode if I suddenly had an entire lifetime of someone else's memories added to my own."

"Yes,"I said,"that's the only problem. It would be a lot more simple if we had a penseive."

"A penseive? I've heard of them,"Max responded,"I think there's one in the Headmistress' Office."

"It's a pity there aren't any others in the castle that we know about,"I said.

Then I remembered the Room of Requirement! If we needed a penseive, maybe it would provide one?

"Come with me,"I instructed Max.

I took Max to the place near the Astronomy Tower where the door to the Room of Requirement appears. I thought about what I wanted to do, and the door appeared.

"What is this?"Max asked,"I think I've heard about this!"

"The Room of Requirement,"I explained.

"I have heard about this!"Max said,"wasn't it destroyed in a fire?"

"Well, it may or may not have been,"I said,"either it wasn't destroyed, or it has been repaired, or it repaired itself."

We entered, and there was a penseive in the middle of the room. I noticed I was in the same room as my potions laboratory.

"I wonder why Silas didn't think about using this place?"Max remarked,"he's got random secret places hidden all around the school, from what I've heard."

I took out the memory from when I first overheard Antonius and Silas planning things last summer, and put it in the penseive.

"Where did you learn how to do that?"Max asked.

"Professor Willow taught me,"I answered.

"What do we do now?"Max asked.

"We dive in,"I said.

It was weird falling into my own memory. When the memory was over, we dove into the next memory, the one in which Silas was talking to Antonius about the trials.

Afterwards, I asked Max,"well, what did you gather from that?"

Max was looking utterly confused.

"Antonius is working with Silas?"he said,"I don't understand. The trials were planned? Why would Antonius help Silas torture his fellow Slytherins and even himself?"

"I thought he was brave at that trial,"I said,"it was his trial that made me start to like him. I always detested him before. I never trusted him. After that trial, I started to see him in a different way, but now..."

"You know it was all staged,"Max said.

"Not exactly staged,"I said,"he really did suffer. It just wasn't what it seemed. It was propaganda."

"Propaganda?"Max said, in a far off voice,"I don't understand, propaganda for who?"

"Pureblood-supremacists,"I said,"and people like the followers of Grindlewold and Voldemort - those kinds of people."

"Are you trying to tell me that Silas may be one of the very same people he claims to be against?"Max asked.

I nodded.

"How?"said Max, sitting down, he looked like he was thinking hard,"what purpose is this serving? He can't do much with this?"

"That's what I thought,"I said,"and it's what I'm worried about. I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg."

"Silas is in Gryffindor,"Max said, suddenly.

"I've been wondering about that too,"I responded,"did you know you can choose a different house while being sorted, if you disagree with the Sorting Hat?"

"I had heard that,"Max said,"not that it would have made much difference to me. I didn't really know anything about Hogwarts houses and all that, when I first came here."

"I remember thinking that if there was a student with the potential to be a really dark wizard, someone with loads of evil plans; they would ask to be sorted into a different house, so they wouldn't be suspected,"I said.

"A different house?"Max said,"oh - you're thinking about your House!"

"Uh - yes - I suppose I must have been,"I said,"I forgot you were a Gryffindor for a moment."

"Should I be worried?"Max said, with a brief laugh.

"But as a 1st Year?"I said,"he would have had to have had plans from the very beginning! It wasn't until I was the age that I am now, that I even considered that idea!"

"We don't even know what's going on,"Max said,"not really."

"I know,"I replied,"as it is, I don't know what to do. I have to keep up a pretence like I still like Antonius, and I don't know HOW I'm going to be able to do that!"

"Cathy - there was something I couldn't help noticing in your memories of Silas and Antonius planning,"Max said.

"What was that?"I asked.

"He seemed to doubt Silas a lot, and we all know Silas is very capable,"Max explained,"I spoke like that with Silas sometimes. When I didn't agree with him, when I thought he was going too far. This just tells me that Antonius is another underling, just like I was. Silas has recruited him to his cause - just like he recruited me - and - don't look at me like that, Cathy, I went to apologise to Antonius not long after his trial. He was alright about it, and he even shook my hand. He seemed concerned for my safety too."

"What are you trying to say?"I asked.

"I'm just saying this, because I used to be one of Silas' minions too,"Max said,"but I realised that what we were doing was wrong, and I stopped being a part of it. Antonius could do the same."

"He hasn't though,"I said,"he's still working for Silas! Still spying for him! If he was polite with you when you apologised to him, that doesn't mean he accepts your inclusion in our society. He even acts polite and respectful with Professor Livia, though he secretly detests her. That's just the way he is. You can't trust him."

"Well, I have an idea,"said Max.

"What idea is that?"I asked.

"It might be a bad one,"Max said,"and when I say bad, I don't mean stupid, I mean - bad."

"What?"I persisted.

"Well, do you know how to obliviate memories?"Max asked.

"No,"I answered,"do you?"

"I've seen Silas do it more than once,"Max said,"and I think I could learn how."

"What is your idea?"I asked.

"You get Antonius. Interrogate him. Then obliviate him,"Max said.

"Interrogate him?"I said,"he won't tell me anything."

"He might tell you,"said Max.

"Trust me, he won't!"I said.

"Well, there are other ways of getting him to talk,"Max suggested, grimly.

I looked at Max horrified.

"Oh no, I don't mean hurt him!"Max said,"I was thinking of something else. Verita Serum, they call it."

"I don't know where I'd be able to get it,"I said.

"I might know,"Max said,"if I am able to get some, I'll let you know,"then he added,"or do you have any other ideas?"

I shook my head.

Later:

I got some food for Oliver. I haven't drank any of the snake potion for about two days now, but I was still able to speak to him. I wonder how long it lasts?

As I was walking away from the hilltop woodland, I saw Antonius coming up towards me. I stopped in my tracks.

"I wondered if I'd find you here,"he said.

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want to hear him, I didn't want to be near him.

"What's the matter with you today, Catherine?"he said,"you haven't been acting yourself. Has something happened?"

"I need to be alone,"I said.

"If something happened, you can tell me,"Antonius said.

"No, I can't,"I said, quickly walking past him.

"Has Silas done anything to you?"Antonius asked,"anything else?"

"No,"I said, walking on.

Antonius was running after me.

"Then who?"he asked.

I didn't have the energy to answer.

"Did your snake tell you something?"Antonius suddenly said,"have you been using it to spy on Silas?"

"Why are you so concerned?"I asked.

"He hasn't been spying on me too, has he?"Antonius asked, his tone changing, worryingly.

"No, Antonius, he hasn't been spying on you,"I said.

I remembered Max's plan with the Verita Serum. I also realised how dangerous things could become if Antonius realised what I now knew.

I don't know enough to know what to do, and I already know too much.

"What's made you so upset?"Antonius persisted.

"I want to be alone!"I insisted,"leave me alone!"

"I just want to help you,"Antonius went on.

"I'm sure you're not being honest with me,"I said, starting to get really annoyed,"you're hiding something!"

"Why? Did Oliver tell you that?"Antonius asked.

"No,"I said,"but the fact you're so worried about Oliver proves my point. You have something to hide."

Antonius stopped, he looked lost, and I saw that deeply sad look in his eyes that I'd seen once before. I remembered how he'd reacted when he'd seen the scar on my back; how he had gone outside and argued with Silas. Maybe he did care about me? Maybe it wasn't all deceit and spying.

"Maybe I do have secrets, Catherine,"Antonius said,"I'm sure you do too."

There was a silence for a few moments.

"You know my parents are in Azkaban,"Antonius said,"I can't stop thinking about them. I just wish I could get them out of there."

"I understand that,"I said.

"I don't even know what I'm going to do when the summer holidays begin,"Antonius went on, in a shaky voice.

"You'll be alone?"I asked.

Antonius nodded.

Even though I was angry at him, even though I was heart-broken, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

It seemed like he wanted me to comfort him. Reluctantly, I put my arms around him. He hugged me tightly, like he never wanted to let go. I remembered how he had held onto me when he had been tortured in the trial. He hadn't really been as brave as I thought. He hadn't had a choice. It was all a show for propaganda, though he had the worst of it. Obviously Silas was using him, even if they both had shared goals. Even though they were working together, he was the one suffering. Though, of course, that was his own stupid fault. None of this excused what he was doing.

This whole situation is extremely complicated. I decided Max's plan with the Verita Serum was the only one that would move us forward.