Since Aux Two was isolated, Stocky had to go the long way through the Nineveh to reach Berthing in Habitation. He led Patterson through the airlock to Propulsion Three and then through Green, Farm, Propulsion Four, Aux One, Workshops, and Propulsion One Gates after that. The ship was empty and properly organized. It looked as if nothing had been disturbed since the gravity assist.
Only the Workshops appeared to have work in progress, judging from the tool racks pulled out into unusual locations and leftover equipment from the vision systems the crew had made cluttering workbenches. A temporary light fixture was clamped to a pole to provide greater illumination to the work area. He smelled scents of gun oil and smokeless powder. And lingering traces of burnt metal from welding and soldering as well as a hint of ozone also filled the air. People had been working in this Gate recently and had left things so that they could quickly resume. New ideas for the Captain?
He walked to one of the workbenches, curious about their metalworking. He booted a tablet there and scrolled through blueprints for the 3d printers that the crew made hours ago. It showed various plans for heavy weaponry – a machine gun in .338 MLT (Mars Light Tactical) caliber, mounting tripod, cannisters for explosives, laser triggers, etc. The crew had opted to develop weapons which would cause considerable damage to the Nineveh.
He remembered Patterson’s horror films. If things as weak and cheesy as a man with a knife could be perceived as horrifying to humans then this – a force they didn’t yet understand even with all the technology at their disposal – had to be truly panic inducing. He pitied the humans.
“What have they been doing?” she asked, brushing up alongside him. She tilted the tablet so she could see it better.
He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close. “Making more powerful weapons. I think they’re getting scared.” He thought about the task of forcing open the door to the accessway to Propulsion Two. There were many ways to do it. There was even a laser cutter in the Gate’s damage control locker that would do the trick. Of course, the creature would need opposable thumbs and sufficient intelligence to use it. And the Nineveh’s crew would be alerted to its use. It was easy for an enemy with the correct physical features to escape the Gate, but not to do so without being noticed.
He looked in her eyes, unable to think of anything to put their minds at ease by himself. “Is there anything we can do for them?”
She took a deep breath. “Not immediately. Our work will take time.” She peered back in his eyes. “Remember what I told you. We haven’t seen them desperate yet. We should minimize our association with them until we have helpful information.”
He agreed with her. They needed to rest and refresh, and then somehow find a breakthrough to take pressure off the crew. (And he wanted to be alone with her.) Still, he worried about De Silva’s team’s ability to fight the alien organism. “Will these weapons kill it?”
“They should. There’s nothing supernatural about Pazuzu. But I don’t like the idea of them going into Aux Two to blow it away.”
He remembered the looks on their faces and De Silva’s shaky demeanor. They wouldn’t opt to attack the alien in Aux Two. They were thinking of defense. “They’re not. They’re making a boobytrap for the access door. You said it yourself, it doesn’t matter what happens to Aux Two at this point.”
“Maybe we should talk to them about their intentions?”
He shook his head knowing that De Silva had been through difficult situations many times over his long career. “De Silva knows what to do for a failsafe.” And the weapons he saw certainly possessed a far greater punch than what they had in the arms locker in Sci-Med. He set the tablet down and pulled her along as he went for the accessway to Propulsion One, figuring the other group possessed a good strategy. Chandna was the one they should be more worried about. He’d probably be ready to pass out when they got back.
He was glad they didn’t encounter anyone. He fantasized about just the two of them being in Berthing. Memories of her naked in the shower crept into his mind again. He had to control his thoughts about her since others in the crew could enter Berthing while the two of them were together. And he hoped the crew was beginning a sleep rotation anyways. It was for Patterson and Chandna to determine the next effort they would make against Pazuzu. The ship would keep it contained until they were ready. Everyone needed to get rest and prepare for a struggle that would last…years, apparently.
He looked Patterson over, from her hair sparkling red in the light to her firm butt. Years with you. A part of him wanted that even though he knew he shouldn’t for the others’ sake. He leaned in and breathed her redolence. The allure of her scent had diminished somewhat due to the work of apocrine gland stress sweat. Stress had affected him too and he was glad that humans couldn’t smell like he could.
The access doors to Command did not automatically open for them. De Silva had placed it on lockdown – the reason why nobody was in the Gates they passed through. Patterson had full access authority, however, and opened the door for them. And then they passed straight through the main walkway to Habitation, not disturbing anything. The lower level of Habitation Gate was quiet except for the usual hum of the ship.
Each Berthing room was empty. “There’s no one here,” Patterson said.
“They’re probably crashing on the Mess then.” He turned her to face him. “Nobody is to be alone – those orders apply to you and I too.”
“Chandna is alone,” she said.
He devilishly grinned. “He’s doing critical work. That doesn’t give you authorization to be alone right now. You’ll be with me, Amanda.”
He led her into his berthing with his arm around her. He breathed in the air and the pleasing smell of sage, thyme, mint, and marjoram from the hanging pots greeted his nose. The crew’s scent did not. The room had been vacant for several hours and he wished it to stay that way. He held her close while he set the comms speaker box to the lowest audio setting.
“You can’t disable that,” Patterson said.
“I’m not.” I just don’t want any unimportant chatter.
He kissed her on the forehead and then nudged her towards the back of room, but she stopped him. He watched her silently for a moment while she bent down and removed her shoes and told him to do likewise. His moment of apprehension faded. She didn’t seem to have any objection to this.
He bent down and removed his shoes, and he ordered TURING to set the lighting to a half-moon equivalent and to lower the temperature by four degrees. An incentive for her to snuggle. He lifted her up and carried her toward the back of the room. The door shut behind them and berthing became a lot darker – especially in the back where the light from the small door window didn’t reach. That was very good.
“What are you doing?” she protested as he lay her in his bunk.
He silently climbed over her, wrapping her in his arms. He rested his head against hers while desperately breathing in her scent. She smelled so right, the smell of an allure and vitality he couldn’t name. “Don’t be afraid,” he said with panting breaths. “I’ve wanted you like this since we first met.”
“It’s just an infatuation.” She made a nervous smile as she softly pushed herself away. She looked away from him.
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“No, it’s not. It’s…” He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t an infatuation – the need was far too great. But it probably wasn’t love either. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind. It was the beginning of something wonderful.
He let her slip out of his arms and he watched her remove her lab coat. She twisted awkwardly within the tight confines of the bunk, which was built for only one, and he focused on her shirt clinging to her breasts. He couldn’t help but smile. Her breasts unavoidably rubbed across his chest. He imagined her as naked as in the Sci-Med shower. And then he reminded himself again that he had to be careful with those thoughts.
“You hardly know me,” she said, “and I doubt you’ve ever had a close relationship with a woman. You’re experiencing emotions that you don’t know how to handle yet. Take your time with them.”
She tossed her lab coat down on the deck and then pulled off her belt and cast it down. That seemed to be a good idea and he took his own belt off. He desired to hold her close and surely neither of them wanted a buckle pressed into them. He clumsily removed his shirt, carefully avoiding hitting her but tearing its fabric in the process.
She giggled and undid her ponytail. Her hair flowed in waves and she lay next to him. “There’s no shame in your feelings,” she said as she set the overhead entertainment console to play a forest rain and then blackened the display. “But…”
Too much talk. He pulled her body into his with a heated kiss. He brushed through her hair and caressed her back. He relished in feeling her breasts pressed against him. The kiss of her nipples. He rubbed against her to get her scent all over him, and to get his on her. He wanted the two of them to be as one, and to never let go.
She nudged him repeatedly, becoming more forceful as time passed. He relaxed his grip and rested his head softly against hers to listen while breathing in her scent. She was so needy. He caressed her shoulder to thigh.
“You have to let me breathe,” she demanded. “And don’t hold me so tight. I have nerves in my boobs. We need to be careful about your injuries too.” She inquisitively stroked his bandages. “Honestly, you’re taking this farther than I had in mind.”
Farther than I had in mind too. But here we are, and we’re going farther. He glanced at her breasts. I’ll be good to your tits.
He softly pecked her on the neck. The warmth of her body clashed with the cool air. And he remembered that he had lowered the temperature. He grabbed the blanket, which was bunched up against the wall, and he haphazardly stretched it over the two of them. “I promise to be gentle, Amanda. You’re safe. You’re free to do anything you want except leave.”
She laughed. “And what makes you think you can tell me that?”
“I can’t.” He pulled her in close. “But I’m doing it. I get to have you alone for a few hours.”
“Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re going to talk about this and then get some sleep. Why me?”
He ignored her question and kissed her repeatedly, giving her free moments in between. She went along with it to his satisfaction. He reached around her and, grabbing her butt, pulled her tight against him. His erection swelled on contact with her body. She jerked her head away.
“Stocky, listen to me,” she said. Her voice projected alarm. “Let me on top.”
He thought about refusing because he liked things the way they were. But she was the Officer, and she was human, and she had been aboard the Nineveh for longer than he had. He was also intrigued. He kissed her forehead and then carefully supported his weight while he rolled over to let her up. He kept one hand over her head to protect her from bumping against the bunk above them, and it was good that he did since he banged his knuckles twice.
She repositioned herself away from his erection once on top. “We need to talk. Why me?”
“Let’s not do this now.” They did need to sleep. They only had a few minutes to spare and he didn’t want to spend them on a counselling session.
She leaned over his face. “Why me?”
“I don’t know why. I’m drawn to you. Always was.”
“Don’t you see then? You’re experiencing some complicated emotions for the first time. You don’t comprehend them yet.”
He pulled her into a hug and kissed her neck. “It doesn’t matter if I don’t understand. I want you now. And we need to rest – together. I want to do so much together.”
“You don’t know anything about me. Think about that.”
Yes, I do. He felt he had learned a great deal about her. “I read your file. You’re from Epsilon Eridani. You’re the middle child of your parents. You grew up on the planetary ring structure.”
“That’s mostly right,” she said. “But you’re reciting my bio. What do you really know about me?
He stroked his fingers through her hair while breathing deeply and thought about it. He could give more. “You were homeschooled, and then started university young – so you challenge yourself. You have considerable raw talent. You raced through your undergraduate work but slowed your pace with grad and med school. You quickly ditched your post grad and residency in favor of LookingGlass – and they requested you. That means you have connections in places of authority.”
“I made them after what I did.”
He playfully rubbed his head against hers. “I can believe that. I don’t think any of us have figured out why you left that research group to work for a tramp rescue and salvage company. You move from place to place, and so the urge to do something new is part of it. But I think what you said earlier has more to do with it.”
“It does. I belong in the Outers.”
“I like it out here.”
She smiled. “You should. Now what do you know about me that’s personal – since you’ve got my professional motivations figured out.”
“Wanting to get out of a crowd is a personal desire.”
She lay down on him and rested the side of her face on his shoulder, smiling content when he stroked his fingers through her hair. “Okay, but I mean something more intimate. When you’re in love with somebody the personal details about them deeply matter to you, and you strongly notice them. What’s my favorite cuisine? Who do I talk to when I’m angry or sad? What are the little habits that I have that I’m probably not even aware of myself? Who am I deep inside? And why do you care?”
“You don’t have a favorite cuisine. You and Qureshi didn’t get as good as you are just by loving one cuisine. You like variety and you’ve been to places to learn. You challenge yourself, but only for your own reasons.”
She shrugged off his comment and he grinned. I can go deeper and get more personal. “I also know why you like horror and the documentaries on disasters. I saw why when you climbed in Systems Access. Nothing scares you in life, and so you turn to fantasy and history to experience fear.”
She smiled and looked in his eyes. “I concede, that’s possibly one. I think we’ve proven you have an infatuation with me. You do watch me.”
“I more than watch you. I know another. I know that you’re very proud of your figure. Because your big tits are torturing the fabric of your work coveralls.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Stocky!”
He pulled her in and silenced her with a long kiss. She kissed him back, and it was electric. But then he felt her hands push on his chest again and she shortly pulled away. So indecisive and needy.
“You’re infatuated with me,” she said, giggling. “You see something you like – my big tits – and you begin to fantasize”. She swayed her shoulders as she spoke. “Don’t be ashamed. You’re experiencing new emotions only now because the United Nations betrayed you and the Abydos failed you. Give yourself time to figure it out. You need to understand and control your feelings. And we’re going to have time out here, buddy.”
He pulled her in again so that they were face to face, and he breathed deeply. “You’re wrong, Amanda. Your breasts aren’t the reason for my love for you. There’s so much more.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, there’s more. It’s not love though. We barely know each other; we’ve been in cryo for most of the time we’ve been together. Love – actual love – doesn’t spring up instantaneously. It’s something built up over time with respect, and trust, and a lot of beautiful moments working together toward something wonderful. You’re experiencing an infatuation stimulated by erotic desire. You don’t love me. And I don’t love you. It’s not that kind of love for either of us.” She looked in his eyes with certainty as if she actually expected agreement.
His chest became tight. It almost hurt inside, even though it shouldn’t. His mind flashed through all the times before when he had experienced unappreciation or disregard from people. It never had bothered him much. That was just them being human. But this seemed almost cruel. “Well, I wish you could experience what I’m feeling.”
She straddled over him, saying nothing. She took his right hand and placed it on her breast over her heart. She gazed in his eyes with gentleness.
He instinctively cupped her boob. He lifted its weight and shifted its soft flesh. He glided his hand over the shallow bump of her nipple protruding through the fabric of her shirt. Her breast was just ordinary soft tissue and yet he found it mesmerizing.
“Feel the aroused nipple?” she asked. “I feel too. It’s nice to be desired. It’s erotic. But I understand what this feeling is and what it isn’t. And I’m in control of my emotions. You’ll learn this in time.” She guided his hand back down to his side and looked straight into his eyes. “I’ll stay here with you. But you have to be good. We have promises to keep.”
She slid up against the wall, giving him room to lay beside her. He looked at her silently for a while wondering where this would go. And then he knew that they would sleep just like they had planned. He nudged the pillow toward her so that they could share it and he closed the privacy curtain.