She felt like a bird in a cage. And well...she was not wrong.
The truth is, although it was a fancy cage...it was more suited to the charismatic parakeet that preceded her, not really a grey pigeon like her.
She was thankful he saved her when she took shelter in his balcony that stormy night, but she wondered if he was really happy...looking up, while he worked, to see her drab feathers instead of the rainbow of his ex-bird.
He gave her a home and food and the safety she treasured...but she also missed the open skies. The little ants on the windowsill told her he used to talk all the time with the Ex. And now he...maybe he was just busy with work...or maybe he thought she liked the quiet peace...
She wasn’t sure...but one day as she watched the neighbourhood sparrows bicker in the sunshine she suddenly was sure of one thing...she..wasn’t happy.
It took her a few days of thinking...wondering...why she wasn’t happy, she had everything a bird could want.
But it was indeed the truth that she was unhappy.
And then one day she noticed, as he looked up to speak, happy at his progress....the sudden pause and the flash of disappointment? sadness? pain? as he looked back down and continued to type without a word.
Was it always there? His dissatisfaction with the fact that she wasn’t his Ex? Was he unhappy too? Then what were they doing, playing out roles, day by day, just bandaging a rotting wound?
Love wasn’t this, she felt. It wasn’t doing one’s duty and carrying on day by day. It was the cranes vows to devote themselves to each other in every life. It was the quiet warmth of the cuddling turtledove pair. It was the loud joy in the eyes of the mute swan that found its pair. It was the protection of the penguin parents for their darling egg. It was the camaraderie of the mynah gang, sworn-brothers. It was the way the lady who lived on the second floor coaxed her little puppy during thunderstorms. It was not the mundane indifference of roommates who tolerated each other.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
It was clear she was not unwanted, but an unsatisfactory placeholder for one who shone brighter.
And it was not enough.
And as she watched the sunrise, every day she became more sure that maybe...she deserved more? Maybe there was somebody or somebird out there who would have real joy in their eyes when they looked at her. Who thought she was enough in her own way.
And so she made a decision. And one day when He was out, she called Elder Crow to help her out and flew away. It felt...glorious.
She felt free, she felt light and happy and the wind felt amazing in her feathers and the sun warmed her soul.
It seems she had forgotten what it felt like to be happy and at peace.
She spent a moment to wonder what he would think...but the blue skies called out to her and the trees sang to her and the clouds laughed with her and the flowers smiled at her. She plucked a bread crumb from the hands of a delighted child and flew in a circle to the sounds of laughter and the wind.
She was free. When did things change? What was the first step? she wondered. The day she realized she was unhappy? Or the day she saw his truth? The day she affirmed she deserved more? Or the day she planned to leave? The moment she left the cage or the moment she stopped thinking of the past and the could-haves? It didn’t matter, the first step had been taken and out in front of her was a wide open world with a million steps in a million directions and a happiness that came from within.