Shit, she thought. I haven’t been paying enough attention to the meeting.

Daphne unmuted herself. “Sorry,” she said. “Could you repeat that question?”

At the same time that she was asking if the question could be repeated, Landon had unmuted himself. “Actually, that’s my bad,” he said. “Daphne asked for me to attempt to lead this meeting so that I could practice. I should have mentioned that to you all at the beginning of the meeting.”

Daphne looked over at the man who was sharing her cubicle space. Her heart felt warm from his quick save.

She looked back at the laptop screen in front of her, and noticed that everyone looked relieved. “To answer your question,” Landon continued, “It looks like in the past, we had decided on a waterfall approach to change management because there was a lot less change happening in the organization so consistently and all the time.”

“Great, thank you for that, Landon,” the project leader said. None of the rest of the team seemed to be all that bothered by Landon taking over for Daphne, and she couldn’t help but feel a smile blossom on her face.

He’s far more competent than I realized, she thought as she pulled up the work instant messaging app and opened her chats with Landon to send him a message.

Thank you, she typed. I’m a little bit distracted today, so grateful you were able to cover for me.

On the screen in front of her, she saw a little smile on Landon’s face as he read her message. In the instant messaging app, the three little dots popped up, informing Daphne that he was typing a response.

Happy to be your wingman, anytime, he had written with a little smiley face at the end of it.

Daphne’s heart felt like it was expanding in her chest. She thought back to the comment that Landon had made prior to her coming back in the past, the one about his water cup that had made her smile. I wonder if Landon, too, was trying to be friends with me and I didn’t even realize it, she thought. How foolish and thoughtless I have been.

She took a deep breath, letting it out heavily. Her mind drifted back to the accident. Why didn’t the truck driver call for a paramedic? She wondered. Surely, I was on the ground under the truck long enough for them to have realized that I needed help.

It took forever for the driver to even get out of the truck, she thought. What the hell were they thinking?

She closed her eyes briefly and remembered the woman’s smile. Daphne’s blood ran cold at the realization. Who the hell smiles after they just accidentally ran over someone in the snow…unless it wasn’t an accident?

The pleasant feelings that had been flowing through her only moments before were erased. It felt as though there was a growing iceberg in her stomach.

Her throat felt like it was coated in a thick syrup, making it hard to swallow. It wasn’t an accident, she thought. I was murdered.

“Daphne?” She heard her name being called in the meeting again. She bit her lip, realizing that she had been paying enough attention to her job again. She looked at the faces in the meeting, expecting them to look angry, and instead, they just looked concerned.

Daphne fumbled to unmute herself.

“It says here in her notes that last year we decided to use these metrics and tactics because that is what the customer wanted at the time,” Landon said. “Sorry, Daphne takes such extensive notes that it took me quite a moment to find it.”

The project lead smiled. Daphne gritted her teeth, trying to focus.

A notification from the instant messaging platform popped up on her screen, alerting Daphne that she had received a message from Landon. She pulled the application up to read the message.

Are you okay? Landon asked.

Sorry, she replied. I just have a lot of heavy things on my mind today. That’s honestly why I didn’t volunteer to train you at first. She hit send, and then glanced over at the meeting to see his reaction. He concealed whatever reaction he may have had and replied to her.

It’s not a big deal, he wrote back, then continued typing. Another message came through. Trevor tried to make it out as if I had never been a project manager before. But the truth is that I got my project management certification before I applied to this position. I’ve done plenty of project managing before this.

Daphne couldn’t help but feel a smile blossom across her face. Yeah, Trevor is like that, unfortunately. Sorry about that.

It’s no problem at all, Landon replied.

I’m really grateful for your help today, she replied. Hopefully I won’t be as distracted in the future.

Daphne glanced over at her computer screen again, and saw that Landon’s cheeks had turned a little pink, and a cute little grin played on his lips.

It’s my pleasure, he replied. Happy to help.

He’s competent and kind, Daphne thought, her heart feeling sunny again. How could I have missed this before?

She remembered her last thoughts when she had died. They had been about happiness, and trying to live for herself.

Even if I was murdered, she thought, I need to take this opportunity to live differently than I did before. If it’s anything I’ve realized today, it’s that, she thought.

She chewed on her upper lip a bit. I suppose I should also probably try to figure out who murdered me as well, so I can prevent it, but my absolute first priority needs to be finding ways that I can be happy in the meantime.

She nodded at herself as she logged out of the meeting.

This time, she thought, I’m going to try to find my joy.

~

Daphne pulled up to her apartment complex after work. As soon as she was fully parked, she quickly gathered up her belongings and got out of the car.

I’ve been dying to come here ever since I thought of those flowers, she thought. I even had Landon help me get stuff finished so that I wouldn’t have to stay super late. She let out a heavy breath as she began briskly walking towards the spot where the accident had occurred. It’s so unlike me to ask for help.

As she got to the street, she couldn’t help but shiver a little. She had never really noticed before, but people flew up and down the road speeding.

Is that why my accident happened? Daphne wondered. She remembered the woman’s smile and shook her head at herself. Why would she smile if it was an accident?

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

The spot was about a five minute walk from her apartment building, meaning she had only been five minutes away from safety and Tanpopo. If I had been five minutes earlier, would that have changed things? She couldn’t help but wonder. Or would it have been the same result?

The air had an early fall chill in it, but as Daphne approached the site of the accident, the weather was not what sent the shiver down her spine.

As she approached the location, she could see the car’s headlights and hear the sounds of her bones cracking underneath the weight of the truck. Her stomach rolled around in her belly as the idea that someone had hit her intentionally percolated through her mind. Daphne choked back a heave, not wanting to make a scene on the street corner.

Who would intentionally kill me? She found herself wondering. Why would they want to kill me? Who would hate me enough to do that?

Looking at the spot, she attempted to come up with a list of enemies, but no one came to mind. I’ve spent most of my life bending over backwards trying to make people happy, she thought. She felt a knot growing in her stomach. The idea that I might have upset someone to the point of wanting to kill me… She swallowed hard, tasting bile.

This is where I am supposed to die, she thought.

She shook her head at herself. Focus, Daphne, she thought. Look for the flowers. Remember why you came here.

She did everything in her power to divorce her emotions from her intellect as she attempted to recreate the scene of the accident to determine where the flowers were supposed to be.

There was a small patch of grass nearby, but based on her calculations, it was too far away from where she saw the flowers. And there are no flowers anywhere nearby, she thought, crouching and knocking her hand against the concrete. This is where they should have been.

There were no cracks in the concrete where the flowers might have grown from. She stood up and looked around, even squinting her eyes at the garden of the person who lived closest to the spot. There were no yellow chrysanthemums as far as she could tell.

What the hell? She wondered. Is this truly an alterative universe? Did the person who owns this spot do some landscaping over the next three months? If not those two…did I hallucinate their existence in my desperation to stay alive? Or were they truly a gift from Tanpopo?

She grimaced, feeling her stomach slosh around again. Really? The last things that I would think about in my dying moments would be flowers and my mother? She wrinkled her nose up in disgust. Why do I find that so hard to believe?

She shook her head at herself, the feeling in her gut not going away. There was something special about those flowers, she thought. I’m absolutely sure of it.

Daphne turned and started heading back to her apartment. She couldn’t shake the idea that the flowers were somehow connected with how she had found herself back in the past.

She chewed on her lip. I wish I had someone to talk through all of this with. She started brainstorming the possibilities of who she could talk to. She sighed. But I think that the truth of it is…who would even believe me in the first place? The last thing I want is to get locked up in some hospital for sounding like I lost it. She paused in her thoughts. Though, maybe I have lost it, she added in her mind. There’s no way to disprove that. She couldn’t help but imagine herself in a hospital bed on life support. Meanwhile, she lived in her mind, feeling as though she had gone back to the past.

She let out a heavy breath as she got closer to her apartment building. Regardless of the state of my mind, the truth of it is that I can’t attempt to find my happiness if I get myself instituted, she thought. So maybe what I really need now is someone who can talk me through how to be happy.

She opened the door to her apartment, and Tanpopo ran up to greet her, spinning around in his usual circle, cuddling up to her legs and mewling loudly.

“Hi buddy,” she murmured, squatting down to the floor and wrapping her arms around him in a small hug. He turned to look at her, his yellow green eyes innocent and happy. “If only my life was as simple as yours,” she murmured softly, gently stroking his fluffy fur as he wrapped his tail around her. “Though I suppose I would have to worry about my owner dying or not coming home if I was a cat,” she stated, while starting to scratch his neck. He lifted his chin up and closed his eyes, clearly enjoying the scritches. “And that almost happened to you. Sorry about that, bud,” she added.

She stopped scratching underneath his chin, and he looked back up at her as if to ask why she stopped, and then mewled loudly, beckoning her towards the kitchen.

“Do you only see me as your food provider?” She asked him, following him and removing the scarf and hat she had put on to keep her just a touch warmer. “How rude.”

He meowed at her, and then looked at his bowl, as if he was truly trying to communicate, and as if she would have no idea what was after.

“Alright, alright,” she replied, taking the bowl up off the ground and washing it. He started shouting at her even more insistently hearing the water. She opened the fridge and got out the can that she had opened that morning. She couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose at the scent as she opened it and put it into his bowl.

“Why do you like this so much?” she asked as she began to break up the pate while he was still yelling at her to hurry it up. “It’s probably the nastiest, foul stench in the world.”

She put the bowl down for him, smiling a little as he went to town on inhaling his food. “You’re such a happy cat,” she said, turning away from him to wash her hands. “How do I live like you?”

She sighed, drying her hands and grabbed her phone to sit on the couch. I’m not used to having this much free time, she thought, checking the time and seeing that it was only six thirty.

She checked her text messages. Gary hadn’t texted her at all the rest of the day. She didn’t really know what to do or say either, knowing that he had broken up with her over wanting more, but not really knowing how to give him that.

I also can’t talk to him about these kinds of things, Daphne thought. He doesn’t really give advice all that well.

She scrolled through the list of messages. Instead of spending time with friends or cultivating relationships, all I did was work, Daphne thought. To the point that I don’t even really have anyone to call when I need someone.

She bit her lip. I’ve got a lot to change about my life, she thought. And I don’t even know where to start.

One name caught her eye in the recent texts. It was her older sister, Maggie. As of the current date, it had been two weeks since Daphne had last texted her. But in her mind, she wasn’t sure how long it had been since she had last talked to her older sister.

It’s been at least four months since I’ve seen her in person, Daphne thought. I skipped Thanksgiving at Mom’s house. Which means it’s probably been about a month since this Daphne saw her.

She swallowed hard. She has her own life and family…do I dare bother her?

Daphne scrolled through other names in the recent text messages. Most of them were just authentication verification messages for when she logged into accounts and paid bills.

Daphne smiled sideways and let out a short breath. Who else do I have to turn to? She wondered. I’ll just make it clear to her that I don’t want anything to do with mom.

She opened the texts to her sister and took a quick peek at what had last been said. There wasn’t much history to speak of, as it was primarily happy birthdays back and forth, and most recently, information about their mother’s birthday get together, and Daphne saying she wouldn’t be there.

She chewed on her upper lip. When we were younger, Magnolia and I were as thick as thieves. I can only hope that she’ll have some time to spare me today.

Hey, she typed. It’s been a long time. Sorry about that. I had a really strange and rough day at work and was hoping I might be able to chat through things with you, if you have time, that is.

Daphne hit send, running her teeth across her lip and then put her phone on the couch next to her.

She looked at Tanpopo who had settled into his grey hammock, and was licking himself contentedly.

“You’re not going to sit with me?” she asked, scoffing as if she was offended. “Why did I even bother to get a cat in the first place if you’re just going to ignore me?”

Her guilt trip didn’t even phase Tanpopo, as he began to lick his paw a couple of times and then wash his head with it

Daphne sighed and looked up at the popcorn ceiling. What would I have done before with all this free time? She wondered.

She felt her cellphone go off, and snatched it up to see that Maggie had replied.

Hi! Maggie had replied. It has been a long time. Do you have any free time tonight? I know you are busy.

Daphne felt a small smile forming on her face. I do, she replied. I’m already home and completely free.

Maggie had seemed to be waiting for Daphne’s response, as the message quickly switched to read, and Maggie started typing again.

Perfect, she replied. I’ll be over in ten.

Daphne pursed her lips as they slowly became a smile, trying to hold back her emotions. I guess she was freer than I thought.

She looked over at Tanpopo. “I don’t know that you’ve ever met your Aunt Maggie,” she murmured softly.

Her heart felt like it was tightening. I hope this goes well, she thought. I’ve been avoiding asking for help because I don’t want my family to think badly of me. Daphne’s throat felt dry. But now, to think that my time might be limited… She chewed on her lip again. It’s far more important to do something about the problem instead of worrying about my reputation.

Daphne leaned back on her couch, looking up at the ceiling again, her stomach fluttering. I just hope she can help me find a way out of the rut I’m in, she thought.