Despite only being here twice before, the empty void and the screen feel like home.
Dying still sucks though.
The moment I enter my hands leap onto my throat as I fight down my panic. No, body, you are not being force choked by an anime villain anymore. Yes, you died. Shut up and stop shaking. This isn’t even your first time.
The sounds of my heart beating out of my chest and the deep breaths I am forcing myself to take are the only things I can hear as I get myself back under control.
In.
Out.
Ok. You’re ok.
I don’t like swearing. Not because of religious beliefs or for the sake of the kids who might hear me, but simply because I find it to be unoriginal. Most people, when faced with something stressful, surprising, or something along those lines, vent their feelings out by saying the same words everyone else does. That’s just sad. You are your own person, and you don’t have to copy-paste to express yourself. Be a little creative please.
Right now I really want to swear. That son of a goat somehow had a way to instantly nullify my entire plan. No epic fight. No last minute battle of wits. Just ‘you lost because of something completely out of your control haha suck it’.
In.
Out.
That one was for my frustration, not my panic. The run was basically doomed from the beginning huh? At least I learned not to start like a hyper focused maniac next time. Really, that makes the choking worth it. Better to learn that now than several jumps down the line. I am making progress. I am definitely making progress.
I am still shaking violently, but at least the overwhelming nausea is starting to become whelming. It really doesn’t feel like I am making progress. I take a few more moments to center myself.
It’s hard to stay yourself when your job is literally to be other people for entire lifetimes, but I would like to think I’ve mostly succeeded. When I play back some of my memories of the decisions I made during life numero uno, and the memories of decisions made during two or three, they seem to be consistent.
Not that that proves anything when my boss can obviously muck around in my head and do whatever he/she/it pleases (haven’t actually figured out the gender yet, if that even applies to them), but there is nothing I can do about it anyway so whatever. I will take the possible mind control for peace of mind any day. Then again, that preference could also be the possible mind control talking, but logically it doesn’t matter.
To be fair, my lifetimes aren’t exactly long. I only survived for 22 years the first time because there was no plot going on, and even then truck-kun got me. What a cliché. Well, it was technically a motorcycle, but the principle is the same. I guess the boss has a thing for car crash victims.
My body has finally stopped shaking, and I stand there clenching and unclenching my fists. Mothersticks! That was a dumb way to end a run.
I frown. I need some new material for alternative swear words. I’ll make that a priority during the next run. Maybe motherstyx? I haven't done a Percy Jackson run yet. Maybe today will be my lucky day.
Speaking of which, I should probably move on. The boss might get irritated if I wait too long, and quite frankly I really want to win one of these.
I ask the void for a classic ‘subscribe to pewdiepie’ gamer chair and a neon yellow desk. The chair because even after three lives I am still a fan, and the desk because the yellow and pitch black contrast nicely. How the most annoying bugs in the world got the coolest color scheme, I will never know.
An errant thought shifts the screen into a nicely laminated piece of paper as I place it on the desk. Then I have to lower the chair because it got summoned fully raised up. I still can’t tell if my boss does things like that on purpose as a joke, or if he/she/it/etc just doesn’t put much thought into it.
Story of my life.
I take a look at the first line.
Story: Worm
I really need some new material right now. The demand keeps getting higher and higher, and we wouldn’t want a market collapse.
I immediately have to close my eyes and use my left hand to start rubbing the bridge of my nose. My right hand snakes down to the lever on the side of the chair and I lean it all the way back.
Stolen novel; please report.
I just lay there for a moment, soaking in my misfortune.
…
I really should have known this would happen, and once again, I have to wonder if this is a joke or not.
It is certainly possible the boss took a look at the absolute mess of my first two stories and was like, ‘I know what will cheer her up! A literal death world with a main course of depressed genocidal space whale, a side of suicidal teenagers, a dash of neo-Nazis, and an incompetent government agency full of moles run by a conspiracy that might as well be the definition of "the ends justify the means" just as incompetent as the government they own as the dessert. I’m sure that will end up being the relaxing vacation she needs after completely failing two jumps in a row.’.
That, or he/she/it/you-know-the-drill just took the next name out of a hat full of popular stories and moved on. I honestly don’t know if I want to know the answer, but asking makes me feel like I have some control over my life. Fake sense of agency for the win.
Let me be clear though, just because I've botched it every time I tried to save the world, it doesn’t mean I am not learning anything. I used to think that the ends never justify the means until I saw Beacon Academy burning down around me because I refused to kill exactly one person when I had the chance. Then I burnt myself out with stress trying everything I could to kill All For One, only to lose to the obscure quirk of explosive neutralization out of nowhere.
I slam my hand onto the desk. Ow.
That wasn’t in the anime! How in the nine circles was I supposed to know he had that?
Yes, I ripped that off from Hazbin Hotel. Give me a break ok? I’m venting here!
I shake my hand off and let out a sigh. Not for any need to breathe. Just to be dramatic.
Regardless, those two mistakes led to the creation of my motto, and one I intend to follow for as long as the boss lets me keep jumping.
Don’t hold back, and have fun doing it.
The first part is there because I swear to Rao if I lose a third time in a row I will go insane with frustration, and the second because I need to be able to enjoy what I do so I don’t die because I cussed out the Big Bad in front of his minions again… in frustration.
You know, frustration is starting to become a recurring theme. I would work on that if I wasn’t so frustrated.
Anyway, long story short, Worm is not the story I want to see right now. Is it too late to switch to Frozen? Or maybe even Death Note? I already know who Kira is, and playing around with a Death Note sounds like it could be fun.
…
Yeah. Didn’t think so.
Midlife crisis over, I scooch my chair back up to the desk and unrecline it so it supports my back again as I sit up. Let's see how bad this is going to be, shall we?
Story: Worm
Win condition: Kill Scion
Date: April 11th, 2011, immediately after Taylor Hebert joins the Undersiders.
Really? Why not canon start or the locker scene? I guess the boss really doesn’t want me messing that up for her.
Host Body: Amy Dallon
…Ah. I see how he/sh-screw-it-I-am-not-listing-these-out-again wants me to play this. Pretty great timing, morally speaking. Here I am with a morally gray at best motto and a mind controller host all ready to go. Ha! I am going to have to keep her on mute the whole freaking time huh? Poor girl.
You know, the boss is totally going to put me in a male body on the next jump just because I thought that, isn’t he? Let’s not think about that right now.
Interesting that it says Amy Dallon and not Amelia Claire Lavere. Is that because she identifies as Amy Dallon, or because that is what the wiki article names her under?
I rub my chin in thought, thankful that I don’t have to shave, but also slightly annoyed I will never know what stroking a beard feels like. Can Panacea grow a beard on herself? Probably not. Hair is dead, technically, once it is pushed out of the follicle, and I don’t think she could affect herself. I would need to grow an entirely separate hairball organism to give myself a beard just so I can stroke it.
I smirk at the thought. I am totally doing that.
The power should be fun, but I am going to have to be extremely careful. The boss will prevent butterscotch sauce like Path to Victory and the Simurgh from working on me, if only to make things more interesting, but that won’t do anything for the Dinah Alcott and Coil wombo combo. I will have to move fast, and rushing things never goes well.
Also, her powers are basically biotinkering and mind control… in a city with Ellisburg survivor Director Piggot and Master/Stanger protocols already set up for exactly this scenario. Joy.
I crack my knuckles and reach for a copy of the story to refresh myself. One of the best things of having a reality where you control everything is the ability to get black pieces of paper with glowing white text. Best of both worlds in my opinion. Paperback dark mode.
----
I stare at the makeshift timeline I've put together.
Son of a Grimm this plot moves fast.
Anyway, here we go.
----
The world fades into color and I immediately stumble. Turns out Amy isn’t nearly as tall as I thought. I know she was considered ‘mousy’, but I thought that was just describing her character, not her freaking height. My center of gravity is way off so I trip on nothing and fall onto my butt. Apparently, I was backing up at the moment of transition. The last two times I tripped forwards, so I thought I was ready to catch myself for sure, only for my preparations to make it even worse. Again, I can’t tell if the boss is messing with me. Ow.
Shut up pain receptors. The first moments are key, and we need to have our act-
“Hey, are you alright?”
I have about five seconds left before the next stage, and I spend them taking in my surroundings as fast as I can. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just give me a moment and I'll be right there.”
Featureless off-white walls. Long hallway. Rooms on the sides with room numbers. Yep, hospital.
Taylor meets the Undersiders at 3 pm and probably joins at around 3:20 or so after a brief discussion. At that point Amy would either still be at Arcadia or leaving. Being at the hospital and not the school means ‘immediately’ is actually ‘a few hours after’.
If I had to guess, the boss didn’t want me to get caught by Dean’s empath vision right after arriving. I had been ready for that, but this was way better. Only a random hospital worker witnessed my import, and he would be easy to convert once I settled in.
And here come the memories.
Vicky smiles down at me as she flies me to school in a princess carry. My heart flutters, and I immediately chastise myself for it. No! Why does this hur- Yeah. No. Keep your incest to yourself Ames. I need information on what you were doing right now and your narcissistic sister and her love me aura can wait.
The nurse next to me looks down with an amused expression on his face. “Sure, take your time. We don’t have any injuries that need immediate attention. Need a hand?’
Wow, that was easy. I don’t even need to make up an excuse for skin contact. I still need to wait a few seconds though, so I hold up my finger. “Uno momento, por favor.” Wait. No! Amy would never say that! It hasn’t even been a minute and I am already acting out of character!
Luckily, he is obviously not suspicious of me yet, Spanish phrasing aside. “Sure.”
Apparently his vocabulary is not nearly as good as mine. I’ll make sure he makes that a priority when I mess with his head. Amy should be showing up right about…
‘Wait. What? What is goi-’ and mute. Now. I let myself grin slightly. Alright! Transition complete, and I didn’t completely blow it this time!
I glance around at the empty hallway and reach out toward the nurse. He takes my hand to pull me up.
And I feel Amy’s power for the first time.
Ha.
Haha.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!