June 6, Wednesday
Other than live streaming my art while wearing my online identity named "Pinkie", I've always been nervous about showing my artwork to others. The fear of being judged, criticized, or even rejected, it's always been there. And now, I agreed to submit artwork to a competition organized by a well-known publishing company, Hikari Suisei. Just the thought of that alone, a huge company taking notice of my art, was overwhelming.
However, today was different. I felt strangely confident. Maybe it was the encouraging words from Satoshi yesterday, or maybe it was the constant support I received from Keiyu and even Tanaka. Either way, there were people who were looking forward to my participation.
I rushed home from school, briefly saying goodbye to Satoshi as I left the classroom. I only had until Sunday to finish my artwork, and time was ticking away.
As soon as I got home, I dropped my school bag and rushed to my desk, firing up my PC. I opened my drawing software and there it was, a blank canvas waiting for me to fill it in with my efforts. I picked up my stylus and tried to think of a way to best deliver my feelings through this artwork.
The theme for this month's competition was "shiawase", or "happiness.", which was quite a surprising theme that I have to follow. I may have lived life with a record of having a troubled past, and I may have my insecurities and fears, but I also have my moments of happiness. And it was these moments that I was going to illustrate, to show the world that despite everything, I can find happiness in the simplest things.
The concept of happiness, as I saw it, didn't have to be complicated or poetic. It was straightforward and pure. Happiness to me was the warm smiles shared among friends, the laughter that echoed in the air, and the sense of comfort and acceptance. And it was this simplicity that I wanted to capture in my artwork.
With that in mind, I decided on an image of three friends, arms draped over each other's shoulders, hopping joyfully down a familiar street. It was a simple scene, but one filled with unspoken happiness. The kind of happiness that resonates with anyone who sees it.
I sketched out a couple of rough drafts, exploring different angles and perspectives. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to sketch. Maybe it was the recent experience I had gained as Keiyu's illustrator. Or perhaps it was just that I was finally tapping into a well of creativity I didn't know I had.
Regardless, I kept my focus as my stylus moved across the screen, translating my imagination and emotions into lines and shapes. Before I knew it, I was completely lost and immersed in the making of my artwork, my attention entirely on the image displayed on my drawing tablet.
After what seemed like almost an hour of sketching, I finally settled on an angle to use. But just as I was about to refine the lines of my sketch, I noticed that the feel of my stylus had changed. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the nib had worn down. It had been quite a while since I last had to replace it.
With a sigh of mild frustration, I paused my work and reached for the drawer where I kept my spare nibs. As I rummaged through the drawer, my eyes fell upon one of my old sketchbooks – the one where I had kept my darkest sketches, the ones that reflected my most troubled state of mind.
It was terrible.
I hesitated for a moment, feeling a mix of curiosity and dread. The temptation to open the sketchbook and revisit those old memories was strong, but I also remembered the last time I did so. After revisiting the same sketchbook last time, I had a severe mental breakdown, filled with guilt, fear, and panic. I couldn't risk that happening again, especially not when I was in the middle of working on my submission for the competition.
Shaking off the unpleasant thoughts, I focused on finding the spare nibs. Once I located them, I quickly replaced the worn nib and put the old one away. With a deep breath, I closed the drawer and turned my attention back to my artwork.
"All right, let's finish at least 40% today..." I said to myself before I resumed working on my sketch. I carefully traced the rough lines, making sure that the proportions of the characters' bodies were accurate.
I paid special attention to their hairstyles, wanting them to be distinctive and expressive, each one reflecting the unique personality of the character it belonged to.
The facial expressions were particularly important. The whole point of the piece was to depict happiness, so I wanted the joy and camaraderie between the three friends to be evident in their expressions. It took a lot of tweaking and erasing, but I was satisfied with the result.
After a few long moments of concentrated work, I finally finished refining the sketch. I sat back and studied the canvas, feeling satisfied with my progress so far. I checked the time and realized it was nearly 6 PM, and from the looks of it, it's still not that dark outside.
Deciding that I deserved a break, I saved my work and shut down my PC. I figured I could head out to the nearby convenience store and grab some dinner. I could heat it up later when I was ready to eat. Plus, a little walk would be a nice way to clear my head after hours of drawing.
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"All right, time for a quick break," I murmured to myself, standing up and stretching. I changed out of my uniform which I forgot to change out of, and into my casual outdoor clothing. I then grabbed my wallet and apartment keys and headed out, leaving my room and my artwork behind for a bit.
Stepping out into the cool evening air, I locked my apartment behind me and started my walk to the convenience store. The sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange hue across the sky, and the neighborhood streets were quiet, which was just enough for a peaceful walk.
Upon entering the convenience store, I was greeted by the chime of the entrance bell and the friendly nod from the store clerk behind the counter. I smiled back, albeit with my head lowered slightly due to my shy nature.
I roamed the aisles, contemplating what to have for dinner while also considering what snacks to spoil myself with. After all, I had a little extra money thanks to the payment I received from Keiyu for my work on the Rose of Vermillion.
As I was browsing through the aisles, I noticed a girl who stood out. She was in the magazine section, engrossed in a copy of the Hikari Monthly. With her unique white wolf-cut hair, striking emerald green eyes, and her taller, curvy figure, she was hard to miss.
I curiously peeked over her shoulder from a distance and noticed that she was reading the section where Rose of Vermillion was located. I was surprised because the sight of someone seemingly enjoying the story that Keiyu and I worked so hard on brought a smile to my face.
The girl suddenly turned towards me, causing me to flinch in surprise. She flashed me a warm smile and bowed lightly, "Oh, I'm sorry! Am I in the way? Do you want to get a copy as well?"
I shook my head quickly, "N-No, I was just... curious about that magazine," I managed to stutter out.
The girl's eyes lit up, "Really? T-That's fine then! It's not often that I get to personally run into a fellow girl who's interested in this magazine. It's mostly just boys in my school," she said with a sigh, moving closer to me with a smile. However, her proximity was starting to make me uncomfortable.
"S-Sorry!" she quickly apologized as soon as she noticed my discomfort. She stepped back a little, giving me some breathing room. "It's just that I'm really glad Kurotsuki-sensei published a one-shot. I'm really hoping his work wins the reader's poll."
The mention of Kurotsuki-sensei - Keiyu's pen name - made me blush. It was strange to hear someone else mention it, especially in such an excited and hopeful manner. I merely nodded in response, unsure of what else to say.
"Yeah... I'm... I'm hoping for that too," I managed to say, my heart pounding in my chest. The girl gave me one last smile before she turned her attention back to the magazine to continue reading.
Then, underneath the hum of the convenience store, I heard the girl murmur something to herself. It was really quiet but audible, "I'm glad he's doing well... I thought he'd never find the motivation to write again."
The statement caught me off guard, causing me to raise my eyebrows in surprise, "W-What do you mean?" I stuttered, my voice just loud enough compared to the faint background music playing over the store speakers.
The girl seemed startled that I had caught her words, her emerald eyes widening slightly as a blush crept up her cheeks.
"Ah, I'm sorry," she stammered, quickly adjusting her glasses. "Kurotsuki-sensei... he was going through a tough time when he was writing the last volume of Run With the Wind. It was around the time when he graduated middle school."
Her words hit me like a sudden gust of wind, leaving me breathless and taken aback. Keiyu, the brilliant and seemingly unshakeable author, was struggling while writing the final volume of his acclaimed series? I found it hard to believe.
Because from the very beginning of Run With the Wind, all the way to its conclusion, the quality of writing had been consistently exceptional. It was a testament to Keiyu's talent, but it also made it almost impossible for me to imagine that he could have been wrestling with emotional struggles while producing such high-quality writing.
I turned my gaze back to the girl, my curiosity about her connection to Keiyu intensifying. "You... you seem to know a lot about Kurotsuki-sensei," I then asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
The girl offered me a shy smile, her eyes glinting behind her glasses. "Y-Yes, I kind of do," she admitted with a light nod.
With her admission, my mind began to whirl with wonder. The only significant event I could think of that could have possibly affected Keiyu during that time was his father's death. Could that be the hardship she was referring to?
"Was it... his father's passing?" I asked her tentatively, my heart pounding in my chest in anticipation.
The girl looked at me with her eyes wide with surprise. She fell silent for a moment before she nodded, showing a deep sadness within in her gaze. "Yes... it was a very hard time for him," she finally confirmed.
Her words settled heavily in my chest, leaving a lump in my throat. The thought of Keiyu, always so seemingly unflappable and confident, secretly struggling with such profound loss was difficult to swallow, and I thought I was the only one in the world suffering mentally and emotionally, I must be stupid and selfish to think that.
"I see..." I responded with a quiet murmur..
Just as I was about to turn away, the girl's voice stopped me. "How did you know about that?" she inquired. I faltered, and I quickly retreated inside my mind, scrambling for a response. I had been trying to keep my affiliation with Keiyu a secret, fearing the potential consequences of my identity as the illustrator Pinkie being revealed.
"I-I...," I stuttered, my mouth opening and closing in a futile attempt to form a coherent response. But before I could gather my thoughts to try and answer again, she interrupted me.
"I'm sorry," she interjected quickly. "That was inappropriate of me. I shouldn't be discussing Kurotsuki-sensei's personal matters with someone I just met, especially not without a proper introduction. Please forgive my manners," She paused for a moment, then straightened up. "I'm Yukari Yoshida," she added with a slightly stronger and stern tone. She bowed slightly, a sign of respect that felt oddly formal in the casual setting of the convenience store.
"I-I'm Ayase Imaizumi," I responded, feeling a bit flustered as I returned her bow. I took a moment to steady my nerves, inhaling a deep, calming breath, before I decided to take a leap of faith, "H-How about you? How do you know so much about Kurotsuki-sensei?"
Yukari glanced at me, her green eyes studying me intently as if she were trying to read a difficult passage in a book. She was silent for a moment, and I could almost see the gears turning in her head as she considered her response.
Finally, she let out a soft sigh, "I was his illustrator for the entirety of Run With the Wind,"