“Your understanding of this world is like something out of a ‘90s sitcom,” I laughed. “Nobody is going to want to purchase an unrealistic simulation program like this.”
I don’t understand. What is wrong with it?
“What is wrong with it? Come on PAL, I live in freaking Milwaukee, Wisconsin. There are no swanky hotels filled with comically stupid corporate fat cats around here. But I will give you credit, it was entertaining. Maybe we can develop this into a novelty program.” My vision blurred back to reality as PAL shut its simulation mode down.
Perhaps I do still have more to learn about this planet and its people.
“Eh, don’t be too hard on yourself. We’ll figure it out! This transdermal implant schematic seems like it might be a good source of cash at least, and once you tweak the simulation a little, we should be able to sell it like hot cakes.”
What is a hot cake?
“See, this is what I’m talking about. You need to start understanding Earth's culture better, especially if you are going to help me rule this planet moving forward.”
For a second I was a little stunned at what I had just said, I was going to rule the planet – me, a 20-year old loser with no real-life experience besides video gaming and high school math class. Was humanity doomed? Could I make the grade as a world leader? Only time would tell.
As comical as it was, PAL’s simulation did at least give me some ideas about making money. With my illusion skill and its associated ability, 'False Impression', I could very easily con people into buying cheap crap from me for a much higher price. Ethically it seemed like a shitty thing to do, but if it would help me level up and fight the Serpians, then I am sure that the positives of such a strategy would outweigh the negatives.
“I think we have a long-term strategy now,” I told PAL, “but we are going to need quite a bit of financing to bring this technology to market. In the meantime, I should focus on leveling up my abilities and making connections that could help us in the future.”
OPERATION UPDATED: PHOENIX
Building Wealth and Power
After contemplating your options, you have determined that a significant amount of
capital is required for world domination. Raise enough money to
bring your transdermal implant and simulation program to the market, and reap the rewards.
Reward: Variable.
“It looks like the use of my abilities inside your simulation didn’t count towards my experience points, huh?” I asked PAL, after realizing that my experience points were still at 60.
That is correct, Admiral.
“Dang it, I was hoping that they would. No matter, I only have to use my abilities two more times, and I will level up.”
How would you like to proceed?
“I think I’d like to visit an old friend.” My heart skipped a beat, “but I’m not sure that she will be too happy to see me.”
Erin?
“Yup. My only friend besides my brother. Let’s just hope she’s happy to see me – in person that is.”
## ##
I walked up the steps to the stately red-brick Georgian and inhaled deeply. I had never actually visited Erin before, in fact, upon reflection, I don’t think I had ever been to a girl’s house at all.
Well, I guess there's a first for everything, I thought as I pressed my index finger against the doorbell.
I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited - Nothing. I tried the doorbell again.
“Who is it?” A teenager’s voice cracked back at me.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
“It’s Chris Carthage, I’m here to see Erin.”
The door flung open to reveal Jeremy, Erin’s 14-year old kid brother. “So, you finally decided to show up? It’s about damn time.”
“About damn time? What are you talking about?”
“You ass, Erin has been worried sick about you ever since the recital. Why didn’t you check in with her? You know she really likes you, right?”
I blushed and hesitated at his insinuation. “What do you mean by that exactly?” Demand Information.
“My sister loves you! She has loved you since you two were in middle school, are you blind or something? It has been obvious for years.” He revealed the information to me without any of the robotic intonations of my other victims. I didn’t even have to use my ability; he would have told me the truth anyway. Jeremy was a good sibling to his sister, just like Ethan was a good brother to me.
“I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest idiot in the world.” I bowed down to him and begged for his forgiveness like I was some kind of an anime character. “Please forgive me. I’m sorry I hurt your sister.”
Admiral, you mustn’t lower yourself to the level of this peasant.
It is unbecoming of your position.
Quiet PAL! I hissed internally.
“It’s not me that you owe an apology to.” He pointed up the stairwell to his rear, “Go and talk to her, she is upstairs, the last room on right.”
“Thank you, Jeremy,” I bowed to him again, and then waddled up the stairs, my energy waning with every step.
Once the coast was clear, PAL plugged me into a hallway outlet, and my energy returned to me in a flash. With my last use of ‘Demand Information’, my experience points had grown to 80. If I used one more ability I would be at level 2. I couldn't focus on my level at the moment though, no, not with what I had done to Erin.
As much as she knew how to poke my buttons, Erin had always been my close friend. We ate lunch together as kids, gamed together as adults, and both had parents who were obsessed with fame and fortune. How had I never realized that she had a crush on me? Did I have a crush on her also? I wasn’t sure, but perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to find out.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
“Erin?” I called out to her, “It’s Chris. Can I come in?”
The door creaked open on its own, but there was no sign of life inside, only darkness.
Would you like me to send in one of my drones to scout the place out? My algorithms have flagged this situation as a possible trap.
It’s Erin, PAL. Why would she set up a trap for me? That doesn’t make any sense at all.
That child, he didn’t react to your ability.
He was earnest. That’s all.
No. That’s not it. There is something not right about this situation. We should make a tactical retreat and regroup.
This is nonsense. I dismissed PAL’s concerns and walked directly into the room without any hesitation.
“Hello Chris,” a familiar voice resonated in the darkness, “I’ve been expecting you.”
“Erin, can you turn the light on? I can’t see you.”
The door slammed shut behind me. Instantly I knew PAL was right. Something about this was wrong – very wrong.
A sharp pain jabbed me in the spine, right between my vertebrae, spreading a burning sensation through my body. It numbed me like extra-strength Novacane. “Erin, why? Why would you do this to me?” I cried, as my body collapsed onto the cold hard vinyl.
“Erin, I love you! Why would you hurt me?” My true feelings erupted into the open as I breathed my final breaths and passed out. What a fool I was to follow my heart instead of my head. After all, my heart was untrained in the ways of love.
## ##
Hours passed me by before I regained consciousness.
When I awoke, I was tied down to a mattress, but this was not some kinky thing like in Grey’s Anatomy, I was a legitimate prisoner, and Erin was my warden. She stared at me with a frozen fury that matched her icy blue eyes. At her side Jeremy whispered something into her ear, being careful to shield his words with the cup of his hand.
“So, you’re awake,” Erin marched forward and stopped at the foot of my mattress prison. “Is it true. Are you an alien?”
“My God, Erin. This is insane!” I struggled against my restraints, “I’m just as human as you and your brother.”
PAL. Help me. I begged, but there was no response.
“We’ve disabled your partner using this serum,” Erin chucked an empty syringe on the floor next to me, “you had better start talking, or we will disable you next. Are you the Chris that I love, or are you an alien?”
“This is crazy,” I growled, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Oh really?” Erin knelt down next to my head and retrieved a small notebook from her pocket, “then how do you explain this?”
“What is that?” I squinted at the pink and purple notebook. As much as I tried to remember it, it was as foreign to me as the IGC.
“Damn it. He doesn't remember.” She kicked the side of the mattress, “This is your diary. You left it in our mailbox along with the serum on the day that you got out of the hospital. We are trying to help you! But I can see now that the virus has already reached your brain. You are no longer the man that I love!”
She kicked the mattress again and then turned away from me.
“Does this mean that we have to do it?” Jeremy grimly questioned his sister.
“It’s the only way to save the world.” She picked a framed photo off her dresser and stared at it sullenly, “I really did love you,” she said. Tears were now welling up in her eyes, just begging to be released. “You were the only person who ever treated me right when we were in school.” She pulled another syringe out of her pocket and flicked it with her finger, “that’s why I have to return the favor and save your soul before what little is left of it fades away.”
"Please, don't do this!" I thrashed back and forth as she knelt down at my side.
"You asked me to do this," she looked at me pathetically, "you don't remember it anymore, but I am only carrying out your request".
"Please, I'm not an alien!" I cried.
"That's not what your own writing says," she responded as she jabbed the needle into my left arm. "At first I was skeptical of it myself. You have always been a practical joker after all, but when I brought this serum to my Chemistry professor, he said that he has never seen anything like it. Whatever is in this thing was engineered by a society much more advanced than our own. It was engineered to kill you before you kill us. I'm sorry Chris, but I have to do this. I have to save the world from you and your PAL."
"Curse you," I spat at her in a sudden spat of rage, "I'm the one who is going to save this world! Without me, you will all be dead. You, your mother, your sister, and your brother."
"Jeremy, leave the room." Erin pointed at the door, "I don't want you to have to see this."
"Okay sis," he sulked and walked out of the room.
"You know, it's funny. I named my online avatar Fairykiller because I always hated fantasy tropes like elves and fairies, and I enjoyed smashing and burning them to pieces. I always loved science fiction, though. I think after this, my opinion will have changed. Maybe I will switch to killing robots and AI. I despise them for taking you from me."
Erin's face hovered above mine. "Goodbye my love," she said as her lips met mine, "I will never forget the real you."