David looked at the guard in horror.  “What the H*ll did I ever do to him to deserve this?  I’ve never met that b*sterd before so why’d he punch me?”  The guard looked at the quarrelling duo and replied, “As to why he hit you it was probably because you made him loose the bet.  Thanks for that by the way.   Several of us collected handsomely from that, me included.  The hrmp...cough...hrmp gentleman you see before you is the former god of war, Mars a.k.a. Ares the god of war.  The lady cursing him out is his wife Pax a.k.a. Eirene the goddess of peace.  Rather I should say he now bears the title Pax and she now holds the title Mars until the next bet.  The reason he hit you is probably the fact you lost him the bet and he’s transitioning to Pax’s behavior at the moment but he’s still got some of the aggression from being a war god.”  David quickly interjects “I know it’s a little off topic, but Ares is married?  I thought he had a thing for Aphrodite.  Also, what were you all betting on and how the h*ll was I involved?  Also, do you have a name?  It’s getting a little inconvenient not having something to call you.”

            The guard chuckled at the barrage of questions.  “I’ll start with the easiest question: you may call me Anubus.  To answer the questions you just thought of, you are in Duat, and the reason I’m a guard is it’s my turn to be a guard.  Maybe sometime soon I’ll be The Judge, but right now Hades and several others have that distinction.  Your current Judge is Osiris.  The betting is because even if you change your job over the course of countless eons, you get bored, and because we’re forbidden to directly interfere with mortal worlds without distinct permission, we bet to keep ourselves amused.  Finally, about Ares: when he was visiting your previous world, he and Pax were having a fight and separated for a while.  He was lonely and Aphrodite is a goddess of beauty and a good distraction but he had really bad timing since she fell in love with Hephaestus.   You know how rumors are; the whole thing got blown way out of proportion, doubtlessly because of a couple of jealous suitors.  It was all very embarrassing and don’t ever bring it up in front of him because whether he’s holding the title of Pax he’ll kick your ass.”

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            The attentive guard suddenly closed his mouth with a wry smile as he looked over at the couple to see the woman marching aggressively over.   As she walked up she smiled and said in a loud voice, “THANKS FOR THE WIN DAVID.  I’M SORRY MY HUSBAND HIT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, AS ANUBIS HAS UNDOUBTEDLY BEEN DELIGHTED TO TELL YOU, YOU’VE BEEN MARKED BY THE SIGN OF PEACE.  THERE’S NOTHING ANY OF US HERE CAN DO AND WHILE A REPORT HAS BEEN SENT UP THE LADDER, WE PROBABLY WON’T HEAR ANYTHING BACK FOR A SEVERAL DOZEN YEARS.  REGRETEABLY, THE RULES OF THIS PLACE REQUIRE THAT ONCE YOU STAND BEFORE A JUDGE, YOU MUST RECIEVE JUDGEMENT.  HOWEVER, TO TRY AND HELP BALLANCE OUT SOME OF THE PROBLEMS YOU WILL INEVETABLY FACE, WOULD YOU ACCEPT MY BLESSING?  WOULD YOU BE BLESSED BY WAR?”