“My Lord.” Sebas folded a hand over his chest and leaned forward in a formal half bow, at his back, the Pleiades battle maids curtsied while they stood upon the arena sands before their lord. Nearby a jealous Shalltear and Albedo stood watching, equal parts euphoric from their chance to embrace their lord, and fuming that they would not get to go with him.
“I am venturing out into the world myself, and I need one of you to accompany me.” Ainz said with a sweeping gaze from within his helmet.
Gasps came from the maids and they snapped their eyes up instinctually to look at the concealed face. While CZ was difficult to read, ‘Her constantly neutral face is beautiful, but definitely not human enough. A disguise could fix that, but still, even if I could, her manner is such that few humans would feel comfortable with her.’
“Rest assured, even if you are not chosen today, that isn’t a reflection of any failure in yourself, only that your design makes you better for a different task, and when I call on you for it, I will need you to give your all.” Ainz spoke as lovingly as he could to the array of beautiful battle maids, and though some pouted a little, they were all quick to answer.
“Of course, my lord.” Or some variant of “Whatever you choose will of course be correct.”
“First, know that you will be venturing among humans. If you have a special hatred for their kind, please step out of line now.” Ainz said, and then wondered, ‘Should I have made that an order? No… yes, I should have, but it’s difficult to just order around my friend’s children.’
Narberal Gamma and Solution Epsilon immediately stepped backward.
“Next, because I am venturing among a mostly human society, you must be as capable of blending in as possible. If you lack, or your creator did not give you the means to blend in, please step out of line now.” Ainz narrowed the field again.
CZ2128 Delta and Entoma Vasilissa Zeta took one step backward.
Only Yuri Alpha and Lupusregina Beta remained. Ainz looked over the remaining pair who stood with heads demurely bowed at Sebas’s right and left side, their hands delicately folded in front of their waists.
He tried to recall their settings, ‘Didn’t her creator call her ‘The Smiling Sadist’ or something?’ Ainz asked himself. ‘And didn’t Yuri Alpha’s creator make her into a serious workaholic?’ Both had drawbacks, but the former seemed more potentially problematic.
Ainz pointed to Lupusregina, “Step forward, Lupusregina. I seem to recall you enjoy the suffering of humans, this sounds the same as disliking them. Or am I wrong? You aren’t hiding your hatred so that you can accompany me, are you?”
Lupusregina shivered at the almost accusation of dishonesty. She shook her head with wild denial, “MylordIwouldnever!” She spoke so fast it was all one word and her eyes filled with tears.
“My creator designed me to enjoy the suffering of my friends, regardless of whether they’re human or not. The more I like them, the more I like their suffering. But I don’t especially hate humans or anyone else! I promise!” She slapped her hands together with fingers interlocked and held them up level with her chest as if in prayer. “Please, believe me my lord, I would never lie to you!”
‘So he gave her a twisted personality.’ Ainz mused and fought the shiver by turning his eye to Yuri Alpha. He then yanked his eyes back to Lupusregina as a thought occurred to him, ‘I really didn’t mean to make her cry, great, now I feel terrible.’
“I believe you,” Ainz said, “but does that mean you would be more eager and more readily be comfortable making friends with them?”
Like she wanted to make up for her twisted personality, she nodded with the same vigor she’d used when denying the earlier question. “Yesmylord!” Her obvious eagerness made her once again string the words together as if they were all one.
‘No! Not a decision! No! No! No! No! No matter what I do one of them will be hurt, and I don’t want that! But I have to pick someone… I should have just chosen away from them and just sent for whoever I wanted later, but… I needed a distraction from those two.’ He cast a side eye toward Albedo and Shalltear. ‘I’m a terrible boss ‘and’ a terrible father.’ A depression washed over his body as he looked at Yuri Alpha...
“Yuri Alpha.” Ainz asked, “Who do you believe is better suited to accompany me on this expedition?”
“Lupusregina Beta, my lord. Her personality is twisted,” she pushed up her glasses when the red headed maid looked over at her sister and stuck out her tongue, “but she is friendly, outgoing, and is a capable cleric. Her ability to heal may be very helpful in your travels.”
‘Does she know?!’ Alarm chased away the brief depression, and then he stopped that line of thinking cold. ‘No, I’ll be among humans, it’s a reasonable thought.’
“Very well, Lupusregina, you will accompany me. Gather traveling gear and meet me here in one hour.” Ainz ordered, when they were all out of sight, he could swear he heard an almost ‘howl-like’ “Yahoooo!” from the withdrawing red headed beauty.
----------------------------------------
“So this is E-Rantel.” Ainz muttered when he saw it appear in the distance. ‘How strange, I’ve seen pictures of medieval european fortresses from the old days, and these look a lot like they did. But also ‘different’ or maybe it’s just me, it just looks so ‘real’.’ It was a little unnerving in a way, Ainz thought with goosebumps on his skin as they drew ever closer.
The soldiers on the walls wore cheap half plates of steel and carried steel halberds at an angle across their bodies. There was a double gate which controlled entry where similarly equipped soldiers checked goods and monitored entry. Ainz saw no one turned away, and quickly concluded it was a mere formality.
“It doesn’t look like much, huh, My Lord.” Lupusregina asked, rather than her usual oversized weapon, she carried an enchanted mace which hung from her side. Her traveling clothing was a subdued green and brown, but of excellent quality.
Ainz looked down at her from where he walked at her side, “No, it doesn’t.” He admitted, “But please be polite, and while we are like this,” he tapped his armor and pointed to her traveling clothing, “do not refer to me as ‘my lord’ or ‘Lord Ainz’ or ‘Sir’ or ‘Sire’ or in any way treat me as a superior. I am the adventurer ‘Momon’ and you are simply…” He stopped, ‘Wait I didn’t come up with a name for her… shit!’ He swore without saying it, the amount of time pointing at her stretched out uncomfortably, “Lupu!” He exclaimed as he grasped for the first name he could think of.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
She fairly glowed, her high cheeks flushed red, “I love it, my- ah, Momon, yeah, I love it.” Her smile glowed up at him, and they resumed their walk toward the city, though ‘Lupu’ had more of a spring in her step the entire way to the wall.
The outermost district was more than a little rank with unwashed bodies, rotting, fetid garbage and infrequently drained sewers. They passed by numerous large empty buildings which served as barracks for soldiers and storage areas for supplies in times of war. Momon and Lupu wove their way through the grounds with ease, but Lupu could not help but let her distaste come out.
“I envy the fact that you can’t smell this, Momon.” Her nose crinkled in disgust, “It really is foul.”
‘Trust me, I know.’ Ainz thought to himself, but answered, “I can tell, even without a sense of smell, it would be easy to conclude.” He said when they passed a clogged open sewer drain where bits of human and animal feces floated like boats on the toxic water.
When they made it past there to the residential district, more women and children came into view. Ainz felt the familiar shock of seeing children actually running outside, so different from home. And people actually lingered to talk on street corners, though they were dressed poorly, he saw them through different eyes. ‘They’re wealthier than the richest of Japan, they can actually go outside, no domes, no rebreathers, no filters, no poison… unless you count the sewage smell.’
The reality of his own presence was enough to perk up his spirits so that he walked with a spring in his step the same as his companion, all the way to the inner district. It was a relief, the administrative center of the city as well as the main merchant district, people shouted their wares from stalls that sold fruit, vegetables, and bloody meat. Lupu’s mouth watered at the sight in spite of herself, her eyes lingered a little longer than was proper, but she carried on when her lord’s long steps carried them past the merchants.
Cleaner than the outer city and broken from it by a secondary inner wall, the quality of clothing changed as well, the deeper within they went. Better armored guards, better dressed people and, rather than simple tan or dark cotton cloth, rich dyes and more elaborate accessories, particularly wide hats, were the norm.
However, it was Momon and Lupu who stood out. A head and a half or more taller than the average man, clad in his onyx dark armor with twin blades on his back, each one as long as a person was tall and as wide as a child’s body, he was an imposing sight. Necks craned to look up at him, children stopped to point and since there were fewer people in the interior than in the outer area, far from weaving through the crowd, people got out of his way.
“Dark Warrior” was a phrase that reached his ear more than once. Momon chose to ignore it, but the radiant red headed Lupu, though she didn’t particularly care for the people, did enjoy the desirous looks of those who caught a glimpse of her.
‘My creator made me more beautiful than the lot of mortals. Even I can’t blame them for noticing, for that matter, that they notice is the first redeeming quality about them.’ She thought and folded her hands behind her head to enjoy the stroll.
She pretended to ignore their looks, despite enjoying them. However, what truly made her heart sing was her fantastic luck. ‘I owe Yuri Alpha an enormous favor… thanks to her, I get to spend all this time with Lord Ainz! They’ll all be so envious!’ She held back her giggle of guilty pleasure, and kept the corner of her eye focused on her master and, for this role, ‘partner’.
Though it must have taken some time, it felt like mere minutes to Lupu’s senses when they made their way into a simple but functional large building of wood set on a stone foundation. She caught the sign as they went in, though what it was exactly was unclear to her as the lettering wasn’t anything she knew.
Momon put his hands on the rough, unpolished counter as soon as he approached. In front of him stood a woman with plain features and a red rainbow shaped cap of red fabric with a white frill over the top.
‘He’s a big one…’ She thought to herself, only her consummate professionalism kept her eyes from bugging out of her head when she saw not only the remarkable specimen of a towering dark warrior, but the radiant beauty of the redheaded woman with the mace dangling at her side.
When he said directly in a deep, rich, noble voice, “I need to register myself and my partner as adventurers here.” the receptionist couldn’t smile broadly enough.
“Of course, I just have to ask a few questions first…” She said while pulling out a few forms.
Eyes from various adventurers bored into their backs while Ainz lied through his teeth to the receptionist.
Much as she enjoyed seeing her master at work, paperwork bored the battle maid and she could acutely feel the desire and attention they were getting. Stares of envy at her master, stares of desire at the contours of her body her close fitting traveling gear revealed, ‘Next purchase is a cloak, not that I mind the obviously good taste humans have for beautiful maids like me, but… they’re just not strong enough to be good for anything but torture.’ Lupu let out a mental sigh to go with the thought and turned around to face the rough looking figures. Most of them wore cheap iron or copper plates around their neck, and not one of them had a complete set of armor to their names, though they looked confident enough.
More than a few had scars or shaved heads, though some had longer hair that ran down just below their necks. A wicked thought occurred and a mischievous smile formed on Lupu’s face.
“Pardon me, Momon, if this is going to take awhile, would you mind if I had a little fun?” Lupu’s mischievous grin set Momon’s hairs standing on end, and for a moment he said nothing.
But he could practically see the tail wagging behind her, her pretty face looked so eager, like a pup eager to play, he couldn’t help but relent. He waved toward the tables. “Don’t be too rough with them, and don’t play with any food.”
Her smile split into a laugh when she sashayed away and over to the nearest table. “You look strong.” She said of the behemoth of a human who sat with a mug of beer in front of him.
He grunted, “You look cute.” He winked, and for a moment she couldn’t help but preen at the praise of the inferior life form.
“You’re observant, but… I’ll bet I’m not just cuter, I’ll bet you a beer I’m stronger too. The name is Lupu, that back there,” she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder, “is Momon, the strongest man in the world.”
She spoke a little louder than she needed to, and the thickly muscled adventurer with the unshaved face looked her up and down, “You serious, girly?”
“Yup.” Lupu drummed her fingers on the table, “Very. I’ll bet you that beer.”
“Whatta you got fer me when I win little pretty?” His mouth formed a lewd smile and from past his lips came an equally lewd laugh.
Lupu looked away and gave a coy smile out of the side of her mouth. “A story worth remembering.” She then planted an elbow on the table with her arm up and fingers open.
“Bring it on, boyo.” She mocked his earlier ‘girly’ and he slammed his elbow hard enough to rattle the table and slosh a bit of golden beer onto the wood, and put his hand in hers.
“Three?” She asked.
“We do five, here.” He answered, and their loud talk, having culminated in a challenge, went from drawing just eyes, to drawing a crowd.
“...Three...four...five!” A bystander called.
Lupusregina didn’t slam his hand down, he began grunting, straining with effort, “Gaahh… Gnaaahh…” He grunted and groaned, staring bug eyed at the beauty across from him, her arm didn’t move even a hair from where it had begun.
Sweat sprang to his brow, “What’s wrong Yorig! Get going! I said ‘five’ like a minute ago!” Someone behind him urged.
“I’m trying!” The beefy man who was evidently ‘Yorig’ groaned.
Lupusregina melodramatically and mockingly brought up her other hand to her mouth and let out a yawn. “Use a second hand if you want, it’s fine, I don’t mind.”
Yorig flushed, then brought his other hand up, laid it over top, and struggled to force Lupusregina’s down. “Can I… can I use a martial art…?” He gasped.
‘What’s a martial art?’ Lupu wondered to herself, but gave a little nod. “Go ahead.”
[Lesser Strength] He grunted and resumed, it did no more good than the before.
“You can use it now.” Lupusregina encouraged him, “I’m waiting.”
Open mouths stared in disbelief, “Well, if that’s all…” She said with a disappointed pout to her lips and slammed the back of his hand down on the table.
She flashed a V for victory with her winning hand, snatched up the wooden mug and drank it down. “Thanks!” She winked at the man who whimpered as he rubbed his bruised hand and bruised ego both at once.
She slapped the mug down on the table, “Don’t feel too bad. I’m partnered with him, after all, and he can beat me all hollow.” Lupusregina winked, “You didn’t win, but you still got your prize.”
“Uhwah?” Was all he could manage to ask.
“You got to arm wrestle Lupu, partner of Momon, the strongest man in the world. Plus, pretty soon everybody will know his name, and that story ought to be worth a few free beers.” She might have been teasing, but when the dark warrior approached, towering over her and placing an onyx armored hand on the delicate but powerful shoulder of the victorious Lupu, Yorig couldn’t help but think…
‘I think she’s right… I got to arm wrestle a legend before it became a legend…’
“We’re done here, come along, Lupu, we’re going to the inn, we just need to pick up a few supplies first.” Momon said, and she nodded with rapidity and obvious happiness.
“Of course, bye boys.” She taunted them with a playful wave, ‘That wrist will probably hurt for days if he doesn’t get a healer, it’s not exactly torture, but it is a start. Does that count as playing with my food though… maybe I should ask?’ Lupu couldn’t help but critique the possible failure to obey his orders, but ultimately decided against it.
‘No, Lord Ainz is all knowing, if he minded, he’d have said something or wouldn’t have let me do that. It’s fine.’ She told herself, and followed him out of the building with the passive thought, ‘The beer was barely better than water with a head on it, hopefully somebody in this world makes something passable.’