"We really go to the nicest places."

List's voice echoed against the brick tunnels of the Shadefall sewers as the three outsiders sloshed their way through ankle deep sludge. Valerie didn't want to think about what they were stepping in, choosing instead to focus on how glad she was for watertight boots that came up to her knees.

A shame she couldn't do anything about the smell.

She wasn't gagging anymore, but she was still fighting down a powerful urge to vomit. She couldn't say for sure that this was the worst place she'd ever ended up because of Dr. Siren—it was hard to top the roc nest—but it would certainly make a top ten list. Probably a top five.

"You look like you're going to lose your supper," List commented when she saw Valerie's face.

"Trying not to," Valerie grunted. "How are you so okay?"

"Two years as a homeless hellborn," List said. "I've smelled worse."

"That's not possible."

"Don't get me wrong, it's still bad," List said. She shot Arden an annoyed look. "What exactly is so important about a bunch of kobolds that we're traipsing through streams of shit to find them?"

"Because these kobolds pose an opportunity to study creatures created by the presence of Digax the Tyrant. The Digax the Tyrant," Arden explained.

"You keep saying 'the Digax' like it's supposed to mean something," List said. "Has there been more than one?"

"Digax is one of the foundational figures of Corsar's history, dating back to the Age of Saints," Arden explained as they walked. "Centuries ago, the world was ruled by tyrants who'd seized power in the wake of the Collapse. Digax himself ruled over the lands known today as Antem, enslaving locals to his will and allowing monsters to roam free, sowing constant chaos and death. And he had ambitions to expand his domain.

"A man named Ricard fled Antem for the neighboring empire of Corsar. Though Corsar was ruled by its own tyrant, Ricard still considered Digax the greater evil, and he warned the empire of Digax's coming invasion. His warning made the difference, and in the war that followed, Digax and his hordes were driven from the continent entirely.

"Everything about what Corsar is like today can be traced back to Digax's failed invasion. Studying any phenomenon connected to dragons is a monstrologist's dream in and of itself. To study creatures potentially linked to Digax himself? It's an opportunity unlike any other."

List nodded. "Alright. There were several names of things in that story that went completely over my head, but I think I got the gist. Big famous dragon, got his arse kicked, disappeared, and now it turns out he's ruling Xykesh and you're scribbing out over it."

"More or less," Arden said.

"Well as long as it's for a good cause," she muttered. The messes Arden's intellectual curiosity got them into were a lot easier to tolerate when money was involved. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but are we going to 'study' these things the way we usually do? You know—"

She pantomimed slicing her throat.

"It may come to that," Arden mused. "But you've never been one to balk at violence as a solution."

"Sure, against bugbears or trolls, or anything else trying to kill us," List said. "But they're kobolds. They're just . . . pathetic. Feels a bit mean spirited just slaughtering them."

"Egon and Kiva did basically describe them as pests," Valerie said. "They don't sound dangerous."

"Pests can be dangerous in their own right," Arden pointed out. "If you'll recall, Egon himself mentioned they are voracious spreaders of filth. I'm not saying I relish the opportunity, but if they prove aggressive or territorial, or even a health risk to the town, we may have to—"

Arden was interrupted by a splash of sewage in front of them as something small and shiny darted out from around the corner at alarming speed. Before any of them could completely register what it was, the metallic figure catapulted toward Arden.

The priest raised a divine shield in front of him just in time to catch the impact, and even still he was pushed back. Valerie and List spread out to either side, both attacking. A crossbolt and leather whip lashed out, striking against a gleaming silver shield bearing the face of a dragon.

Standing in front of them, clad head to toe in gleaming silver plate armor, was a diminutive, blue skinned figure, with a long reptilian snout, and eyes like pale sapphires. It held its shield—a mere buckler to a normal sized creature—at the ready, while its other hand brandished a shortsword that glowed faintly blue at the edges and along grooves carved into its surface.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

"Is that an—" Valerie began.

"—armored kobold," List finished.

"Fascinating, Arden breathed. "Ladies, forget what I said previously. We cannot kill this creature without learning everything we can about it."

"You no kill Sheila at all!" the kobold hissed. "Sheila hero of all kobolds, and this nest is under Sheila's protection! Tall Ones turn back now, or face Sheila's sword!"

"Oh dear," List said. "I think it's upset."

"If it can speak Corsan, then maybe we should try—" Valerie started to raise her hands, maybe too fast for the kobold's liking, because the tiny creature let out a shrill cry, and leapt straight at her.

Valerie was rewarded for her efforts with a buckler to the face, then a blow to the stomach as Sheila the Hero kicked off of her to go flying at Arden, the next closest target. Her sword was stopped by his divine shield, though each slice made sparks fly off its golden surface.

When Sheila finally landed on the ground for the first time since jumping Valerie, she glared straight at Arden's shield, and readied her sword. An aura of golden light spread out from the kobold's chest across her body and down the blade of her sword, and Arden's eyes went wide. When Sheila swung again, Arden's divine shield shattered, and he staggered back.

List had seen enough to know underestimating Sheila was a mistake. Her tattoos glowed bright red as lightning crackled across her whip, and she cracked it across the kobold's back. With a shower of sparks, the whip slapped against the plate like—well, like a whip against plate. But her whip was charged with chaos. She'd cut small trees down with attacks like that, and yet Sheila's armor didn't have a scratch.

Sheila didn't give List time to even begin thinking through how that was possible, as the kobold was on her in seconds. List drew a dagger, actually not much shorter than Sheila's sword, and the kobold's blue-tinged blade clashed against List's red.

A high pitched whine accompanied an angry fizzle with each strike of the weapons against each other, as their two energies mixed and reacted. Sheila was a leaping, whirling ball of steel, leaping around and bouncing off of sewer walls to find new angles of attack, and List found herself hard pressed to keep up.

She might have actually been having fun, if she could get over the fact that she was fighting a kobold.

"Yield!" the tiny warrior shouted. "Yield to Sheila!"

"Alright, fuck research. If someone doesn't get this thing under control right now, I'm going to kill it!" List warned.

Arden spoke an extended prayer for a few seconds, and when he pointed his cane, a flurry of golden chains expanded out from the tip, lunging for Sheila like snakes. The kobold paused seeing them coming, and planted her feet wide.

Just as the chains closed in, she stamped her foot, and shouted "No!"

And the chains dissolved into shimmering light. Arden stood still for a moment, shocked, but his attack bought List time and space to lash out with her whip again, forcing Sheila back behind her shield. Even with List's magic running through it, the whip barely left a scratch.

Valerie watched the melee unfold, waiting for a clear shot. Sheila was surprisingly skilled, but Valerie didn't even consider that the kobold was actually a match for Dr. Siren. List, maybe, but the hellborn wasn't trying to kill either. And her patience wasn't going to last forever. They needed to end the fight, soon, before Sheila forced their hand.

Then, just as Sheila deflected another crack of List's whip, Valerie saw her chance. Her bolt struck the hand Sheila was using to hold her shortsword, and the kobold yelped in pain as she dropped her weapon.

Valerie thought they had it, but even then, Sheila didn't give up. List tried to capitalize on the disarming with a kick, only for Sheila to catch the blow on her shield and, with strength that defied all sense, shoved List back and into a wall.

"That's enough of that," Arden said.

Summoning golden armor onto his arm, Arden prayed for strength, reached down, and grabbed the kobold by the back collar of her armor, lifting her off her feet. She kicked and thrashed in protest, clawed hands and feet flailing wildly, but she failed to get through the Arden's armor.

"Now now," Arden said. "Calm down before you hurt—"

Sheila threw her shield into Arden's knee, eliciting a crack and a grunt of pain from the priest. Arden faltered, giving Sheila just enough room to kick off his chest and break free of his grip. But when she lunged for her shield, another crossbolt from Valerie sailed by, striking the shield and knocking it out of reach.

Sheila recoiled, and as she tried to reorient herself, she was met with Arden in one direction, List in another, and Valerie in a third. The kobold was surrounded and unarmed. By any sane understanding, the outsiders had her dead to rights.

The little creature poised her tiny clawed hands, ready to strike.

"Easy," Valerie said. "We don't want to hurt you. Just stand down, and we can talk."

"Sheila no yield to tall ones," she growled, and her eyes narrowed in determination. "And Sheila not die alone."

Well, that wasn't encouraging for Valerie's efforts at diplomacy. And what came next was even less so.

"Sheila no die at all!" a shrill voice echoed through the sewers.

The acoustics made it impossible to tell where the voice was coming from, and it was only dumb luck that Valerie managed to spot the source by frantically looking around.

It was another kobold. No. Several other kobolds, all splashing through the sewage as they raced out from around corners, wriggled out of pipes, or simply burst out from the muck itself.

"Save Sheila! Take the tall ones!" a kobold at the front of the pack shouted.

"Oh shit," List swore, already charging her whip again. "So much for not slaughtering."

"No!" Arden snapped suddenly, holding up a hand. "Don't attack them. This is perfect."

In the brief moment where List and Valerie were distracted giving Arden incredulous looks, Sheila darted out from their impromptu circle, scooping up her fallen sword and repositioning to catch them between her and the oncoming horde of kobolds, all armed with makeshift spears, bricks, and broken bottles.

List reared her arm back, ready to ignore Arden and fight back, but his hand found her wrist in a grip so tight it stunned her in momentary surprise.

"List," Arden said, his voice suddenly hard. "Do not. Engage."

List glowered at him, but was unable to free herself by jerking her arm. Chaotic red lightning arced across her skin as she debated putting up more of a fight. Arden's eyes narrowed, waiting for her to try. Valerie watched helplessly, unable to decide whether to support her friend or her mentor.

But in a few seconds, the choice was out of her hands. The tables had turned, and now it was the outsiders who were surrounded, and at the business end of over a dozen improvised weapons, and Sheila's own illuminated blade.

"Now," Sheila said triumphantly, "tall ones yield to kobolds."