“Tell me about pizza,” Bel pleaded. “It’s been at least an hour, and I can still see the cricket legs sticking out of Beth’s mouth. I need to think of something else.”
Beth snorted indignantly, but she had a small grin on her face. Bel suspected that her sister had been intentionally grossing her out, especially when she started making slurping noises. Bel failed to repress a shudder at the memory.
James grinned and held out his arms like he was hugging someone very wide. “Pizzas round and flat, and about this big.”
Bel’s eyebrows went up. “Are they an animal?”
He laughed. “They’re like a flat bread – not the weak, floppy breads you’ve seen, but crisp and perfect, just strong enough to hold up their toppings while still being thin enough to crunch through when you bite into a slice. Pizza is covered with melted mozzarella – it’s a kind of cheese – and with a sauce made from tomatoes.”
Bel scratched her cheek. “I can’t really picture it. What’s a tomato?”
“Ah, those are a red fruit that’s a bit tangy. If you cook them they turn into a red paste to goes well with some savory herbs.”
James licked his lips. It looked as if he’d gone into a trance. “Oh, and garlic. You can even get pizzas that have minced garlic as a topping. Stars above, I think I would murder someone for a pizza.”
“I still don’t know what those things are,” Bel laughed. “I can’t imagine the taste at all. What’s cheese?”
“Well, mozzarella is a kind of soft cheese made from the milk of a cow.”
“A cow?”
“It’s like a… hm. Satrap doesn’t have any large mammals. Imagine a giant tree rat, but that lives on the ground and isn’t gross.”
James tugged on his beard with frustration. “That’s a terrible description. Gah, I can’t describe it, but pizza is like this wonderful mixture of warm, gooey cheese and crisp bread with a tang of tomato on it.” He turned to her with a manic gleam in his eyes. “And you can get them with pepperoni! My parents would get Hawaiian, which has pork and pineapple. I used to hate it, but I’d kill for some of that now too.”
“Wow. I guess. Not sure if I want something from a giant rat though.”
James’ eyes widened in outrage, but Beth interrupted them before he could respond.
“Hey kids,” Beth called. Bel made the mistake of turning quickly enough to see a bit of insect still sticking out of Beth’s mouth.
“Ugh, Beth! That’s gross!”
Beth waved her half consumed insect in front of them. “No, look. There’s something ahead.”
Bel looked and saw a crowd on insects, choking the tunnel up ahead. The light from their candles reflected from the innumerate carapaces. “Yeah, that’s something.”
Ery pulled out his fighting stick, but then paused. “Hey, isn’t it lighter up ahead?”
Beth rolled her eyes at them. “Yeah. We’re nearing the exit. What did you think I was pointing out? The locusts?”
Bel looked at the insects. They were big – maybe two hands long – but she didn’t see why that would be a problem. Beth was right, getting out of the tunnels was way more exciting.
Although, as she stared at the insects she realized that, in addition to covering the cave floor, they also covered the cavern walls as well. If they wanted to leave the tunnel then they would have to go past the swarm of pests.
Bel gestured at the obstacle. “Think we can squeeze past without them swarming us?”
Beth flicked a mostly-eaten cricket from her hands. “Let’s just stab our way out.” She advanced on them with menace in her steps, James and Bel following along helplessly.
Rather than fleeing or charging though, the swarm turned towards the trio, staring with their glossy, lidless eyes. They began twitching their legs, but didn’t make any motions to come closer.
Beth was unintimidated, of course. She advanced with her dagger drawn and a malicious glint to her eyes.
The insects intensified their leg twitching and produced an incredible sound. It began as a whisper, but a heartbeat later it felt as though the sound was a tangible force pushing against them.
Bel stumbled back, squeezing her hands to her ears to block out the overwhelming volume that was coming from the vile creatures. From the corner of her eyes she saw Beth and James doing the same thing, although Beth was struggling with only one hand.i
“This sucks,” James yelled.
Bel agreed. It wasn’t just loud, it felt like an assault upon her very existence.
Like hell I’m going down to a swarm of insects, she thought.
Bel looked up at the swarm of locusts and blasted them with glare. The effects were immediate. As her gaze swept across the insects she had a feeling like she was pushing through a barely tangible barrier, a thin curtain of spiderwebs, and the insects went silent one by one. A few raised their legs and made a scratching noise afterwards, but the noises of the single insects were accompanied by the power they had previously possessed.
Beth capitalized on their confused state, rushing forward to skewer the nearest insect. James and Bel were right behind her, delivering woe and death to the little pests.
The locusts didn’t pose much danger after Bel had shut down their sonic attack. Other than a nasty bite in the leg, which barely broke through her intensified integument strengthened skin, they didn’t have any problems smashing the disgusting little faces blocking their way. Bel glared regularly to make sure that the insects didn’t recover. They methodically made their way to the cave opening, leaving a trail of slaughtered insects in their wake.
Once they could see the light coming from the end of the tunnel James whooped loudly. He doubled his bug smashing speed, heedless of the ichor spraying onto his clothes.
Bel felt a rush of excitement as well, and raced to compete. She snicker-snacked through the pests with her short sword, sending a chaotic rain of insect parts flying in every direction. She laughed with glee as she severed her foes before her.
She was so absorbed in the competition that she only noticed the humanoid figures standing by the cave entrance when she stepped onto one of their long shadows extending from the mouth of the cave.
The young gorgon snapped to attention. She stared at the silhouette of the person who was blocking the outside light, her eyes round with surprise. Three figures stood at the mouth of the tunnel and stared back at her, giving Bel plenty of time to inspect them. They wore ornamented helmets of some black lacquered material, giving them a vaguely hostile aura, and wielded simple wooden spears. Their clothing was unspectacular though, just a simple cloth wrapped around their torso. Each one had a basket hanging on their back, which they were busily filling with locusts.
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James stepped in front of her and called out, “hello stranger, well met!”
Bel was impressed by his bluster.
Two of the strangers ignored him and continued spearing the locusts and tossing them into the baskets on their backs with brutal efficiency. The last one stared in their direction for a moment and then bowed briefly.
As the figure bowed it moved out of the direct sunlight and Bel saw that what she had taken for a helmet was no such thing. The person had a head wrapped in the dark, red carapace of an insect. A pair of large antenna beat the air around its head. A pair of powerful mandibles took the place of a more human jaw. As the figure completed their bow, Bel and James stared into its black, segmented eyes.
Bel’s mouth hung open as she looked at her brother. He looked back at her with raised eyebrows.
Two of the ant-headed people moved to within a few strides of Bel and James as they collected the locusts. At a clicking noise from the first figure they turned and made their way out of the cave.
Bel stared at the cave opening in disbelief. “What in the hells was that?”
James shook his head. “And why were they all women?”
“What?”
It took a moment for her brain to catch up, but then she threw her hands up in disgust. “Bargainer save us. Were you checking out the ants?”
James scoffed. “I think you mean mants. For man-ants. Mants.”
Bel hit him in the shoulder. “You mean womants, right?”
“Oh.” He paused for though. “Yeah, womants. You win this round.”
She nodded in satisfaction, but then shook her head angrily. “Their name isn’t important! Where did they come from? Are they dangerous?”
“Well…” He shrugged. “No way to know but to go find out, right? They seemed peaceful. So far at least, and I think they were even leaving the rest of the locusts to us.”
James pulled out his pack and started rummaging for something. Bel retreated in horror as he pulled out his pair of infernal toothbrushes. “If we’re about to meet some strangers, then we should make ourselves presentable first,” he declared.
Bel gestured at their stained and ripped clothes. “James, we look like shit.”
“Let’s at least put in some effort, okay? And Beth, maybe you could help me shave?”
Beth scowled. “You want me to use one of my proper fighting daggers to shave your face?” she asked, incredulous.
“Yes. Think of a social encounter as a kind of fight. Like Bel said, we look like shit, so we need all the help we can get.”
Beth rolled her eyes, but a moment later she wistfully tugged on the ragged patch of hair that used to be one of her braids. She sighed in defeat. “Fine, whatever.”
She unsheathed a clean dagger and gestured him closer. “Bring your face over here, I don’t want to have to reach.”
Beth’s blade moved like a shooting star across his face, and a moment later his beard was mostly gone, reduced to only a hint of red stubble along his jawline.
“Thank the gods, the stars, and the Bargainer. I hate having a beard,” he complained. “A proper fantasy world should come with safety razors and mirrors.”
He turned to Bel and raised his eyebrows. “How do I look?”
“Like you were trampled by a herd of work lizards.” Bel gave him a thumbs up. “But at least that beard is gone.”
Beth rolled her at their antics and turned her attention back to more eating. She bent down and skewered one of the dead locusts with her dagger. Food secured, she looked towards the exit. “Now, what’s been happening up here? You two rushed ahead while I was protecting our rears”
She opened her mouth and tore off some of the locust’s exoskeleton with a feral bite. Bel and James recoiled as she spit it out and went back for a mouthful of insect meat.
Beth continued unperturbed. “Oh come on,” she said after swallowing, “they aren’t that bad, and I’m still starving from using my abilities constantly. You kids need to be less picky if you want to grow up strong.”
James stared into the dead eyes of the locust in his older sister’s hand and squeezed his lips with disgust. “There are, uh, people.”
Beth nodded as she chewed. “Yup. Saw three of them, but you guys didn’t talk to them. Think they’re dangerous?”
“Isn’t everyone?” Bel groaned.
James elbowed her in the side.
“Come on, think positive. They didn’t look like the Dark Ravager’s followers. Let’s check outside, maybe they’ll be friendly.”
Beth rolled her eyes and strode confidently towards the exit. She pointed at the dead insects as she went. “Bel, come over here and shove these into my bag.”
Bel dutifully opening the bag and depositing the gross little locusts. “Beth, maybe you should hang back. We don’t anything about these, uh, people, and sometimes you come off as a little, well…”
She looked at her brother for help, but he looked back with a helpless expression. “Sometimes you’re a little aggressive, Beth, and your injury has you a tiny bit unbalanced. Maybe James and I should handle–”
Beth jabbed the half-eaten locust in her direction.
“Gods, stop worrying about me. I’m fine, I’ve been hurt before, and it’s not like missing an arm makes it harder for me to speak.”
Bel turned back to her brother and gripped the air in frustration. He could only shrug.
Bel’s snakes writhed with displeasure. “But Beth,” she began.
“Nope,” Beth waved her food at the flustered gorgon as she strode into the light.
James bumped her with his elbow as he walked past. “You try to hold Beth back, I’ll try to do the talking, okay?”
“Why is she so…” Bel waved her hands. “…so irritable!” Bel gestured helplessly after her sister. A few of her snakes hissed to express her vexation.
James stared at them for a moment. “Should we hide those?”
Bel pointed at her head. “What, these girls? Those people have ant heads. It’ll be fine.”
James and Bel blinked and squinted as they left the darkness and ventured into the light. As their eyes adjusted they found Beth standing before a menagerie of different human-shaped people. There was far more variety than just the ant-headed humanoids that they’d been expecting. The one-armed assassin looked at Bel and James with an expression somewhere between exasperation and confusion and gestured them over.
“You two handle this,” she demanded. “I don’t have the patience for this shit.” Beth strode away from the confused cohort, leaving Bel and James to fill her absence.
“Uh…” Bel looked at the group. The ant-headed women were still around, but they had wandered off to collect more locusts. Bel could see them moving about in the distance. In their stead was a small circus’ worth of semi-humans. They were gathered in a half circle around where Beth had been standing.
Bel saw a scaled… Boy? Man? I can’t tell. He had scales along his legs and thin, twig like arms, and was was barely taller than her waist. Tattoos of scales had been drawn all over his face and down his limbs until they met with the actually scaled parts of his body. Next to him was a heavily-feathered and beak-faced bird-person dressed in a leather vest and assless chaps. The reminded Bel of a startled owl when when they swiveled their wide eyes between Bel and her siblings.
The next man was bizarre – more bizarre than the previous two, at least to Bel. He had an elongated snout and gigantic feet and was leaning back on his thick tail like it was a third leg. She stared at the tail for a few moments, trying to figure out what kind of animal he was supposed to be, but she couldn’t come up with anything. With a shrug, she looked at the next person.
The unknown, large-tailed person was easily a head taller than Bel, but even he was a full head shorter than the even taller crocodile-like person next to him. Bel thought she was a woman from the obvious smears of makeup across her face, but she wasn’t ready to fully commit to that assessment.
The crocodilian wore nothing but a tall pair of boots and was covered in thick, bumpy hide. Bel had often seen similar features – minus the boots – on the river predators of Satrap. Unlike a real crocodile though, this person’s lips were smeared with a bright, red paint. As Bel stared, the crocodilian’s lips lifted, revealing her teeth; it was either a smile or a threat display. Bel cringed back and hoped for the former.
Finally, there was an ant person with the group – just not the kind of ant person they had been expecting. Unlike the ones that they’d just seen, this woman had a human head, topped with a curly puff of shining silver hair. Her human torso extended to around where her waist would be, but her lower half was that of a large red ant. Her ant body was coated in the same shimmering silver hairs as her head giving her a metallic appearance that shifted in the sunlight.
The ant woman had a full set of six ant legs while also having human arms, for a total of eight limbs and a height slightly shorter than Bel’s. The leather armor on her torso had an attached leather skirt that obscured the area where her human and ant parts met, and Bel couldn’t help but wonder how her body worked. She had seen plenty of grafted beings in the bowels of Technis’ Temple, but never had she seen one who seemed so healthy and moved so naturally.
While Bel and James examined them, the strangers shared a look amongst themselves. Then they burst into activity, neatly dividing into two groups. They organized themselves so quickly that Bel was convinced they must have shared some signal or plan, but if there had been any communication she had missed it. The snake and the crocodile scampered and stomped, respectively, over to Bel while the owl, the one with the big feet and tail, and the ant went to James.
Bel waved lamely and resisted the growing urge to follow after her sister and run away. “Uh, hello,” she awkwardly greeted them. The crocodile woman pulled back her lips again, revealing a mouth full of sharp teeth.