At 8 years old, Juniper exchanged mana for the first time. Their father, who laid ill in bed at the time, beckoned them over and took their hand. The child wore many protective layers to protect them from the plague that had come to claim their father.
Tears stinging their eyes, Juniper was startled by how cold his hand felt even through the gloves. His hands were always so much bigger, and they carried the warmth of family and familiarity. Soon, those things would be gone forever. The child stifled a sob as they listened to their father.
"Juniper, I'm sorry I couldn't fight this off," he said, his voice weak and raspy. "It isn't much, but you will inherit everything I have. Magnus here will watch over you in my stead." Juniper turned their head to the doctor in the room, a stout dwarf with a stony expression. "Juniper... I'm going to gift you something else. This is a spell that is passed down in our family, one of the only spells we were able to claim. Its called stitches, and if you decide to be a doctor like me or a seamstress like your mother, it will be of great help."
"Papa..." Juniper sniffled, resisting the urge to rub at their eyes. They were warned to be very careful lest they catch the plague as well.
"Close your eyes, Juniper, and..."
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"Are... are you just trying to hold my hand?" A flush of embarrassment crept up Leif's neck as he stared at their intertwined fingers.
"No! How are you capable of this level of misunderstanding?" Juniper protested, a vein in their head threatening to pop. "I haven't done this since I was a child."
The moonlight poured across the thick carpet of leaves and illuminated the treetops around them. Leif scooted closer to Juniper, drawing their attention away from their pack that laid nearby. Juniper tried not to glance at Leif, finding the idea of holding hands embarrassing enough, but couldn't help but look up as he got closer.
Juniper met with Leif's smile, white teeth gleaming in the dim light. What is he smiling so crazy about? Are all elven people this weird? Leif's hopeful smile clashed against Juniper's unconscious scowl. Despite his ease, Juniper couldn't help but feel like something bad was about to happen.
This is too easy... isn't it?
Spells were closely guarded secrets and usually passed down through generations or exchanged between merchants in rare bartering deals. This time, Juniper was offering the low-level cantrip spell—useful for mundane tasks but rarely effective in combat—while Leif proposed a much sought after heal spell. The fact that they were strangers made this type of exchange even more unlikely.
But Juniper had to do it. They were desperate to finally learn a powerful, life-changing spell. Even if heal could only work on moderate, fresh wounds, it would still be better than villagers being down for weeks at a time because of bandits and monsters. Juniper took a deep breath and steeled themselves.
"What're you thinkin' about?" Leif interrupted Juniper's thoughts, undoing their concentration. "I'm usually pretty good at reading expressions, but you sorta just look like you have to poop."
Juniper groaned. They didn't have it in them to argue with him. They were spending this quiet time trying to open up their mana to this stranger, but he wasn't making it easy. They couldn't complain, though, otherwise he might rescind his incredibly generous offer. They forced a smile and said, "I'm just... trying to figure out how to make this work is all."
Leif smiled reassuringly and met Juniper's gaze. "Everything will be okay, I'm here to help." He shifted their hands so that they were both resting on the top of Juniper's leg. "I know some people like you; it can be hard to stay focused when you have so many thoughts swarming in your head. But just stick with me and I'll teach you how to do this so you can learn even more spells in the future." Juniper looked determined and gave a brave nod, light sparkling in their eyes.
"You got this, Juniper," Leif encouraged softly, his voice gentle and reassuring. "Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Inhale deeply, feeling the air fill your lungs, then exhale slowly, letting go of tension. Now, bring your attention to your hand, where our palms are touching. Feel the warmth, the connection between us. You can even give your fingers a little wiggle, let the sensation of touch ground you in the moment."
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Juniper followed Leif's guidance, struggling to let go of the tension. They breathed in and out a few times, the worry about the future hanging over their heads. They needed to learn magic and study medicine so that they could provide value to the village. Their hands trembled with a mix of anticipation and fear, but as Leif's hand gently squeezed theirs, a wave of reassurance washed over them.
"You aren't doing this alone," Leif reminded them, his voice a soothing presence amidst Juniper's insecurities. "I'm here to help you, every step of the way."
Juniper felt a surge of gratitude for Leif's support and nodded, eyes still closed, but with a newfound determination. With each breath, they let pieces of the thoughts slip away, replacing those thoughts with the feeling of the grass around them, the sound of the wind gently blowing, and the warmth of Leif's hand. They could sense the energy within their own body, the ebb and flow of something stirring.
"Visualize your body as the land. At your center, there is a pool of water. It's flowing down your arm and pooling in the palm of your hand. This is your mana."
As Juniper immersed themselves in this visualization, the ebb and flow from before felt as though it were taking form. It felt less like their body was the land, but more like their work bench at home. At their center, they had an alembic, and it dripped, slowly, mana down into a bowl, which was their palm.
"Now," Leif said, his voice steady and encouraging. "Imagine that between our hands is a barrier. Picture it as something solid, like a door, blocking the flow between us. I want you to reach out to that block, feeling the texture and weight of it in your mind. And now, Juniper, imagine yourself opening it."
Juniper could almost touch the block, their fingers yearning to move it aside. This block stood between them and the spell they desired so badly. The world seemed to hold its breath as Juniper's concentration reached its peak. And then, with a surge of perseverance, they visualized their fingers wrapping around the block, like the lid of a jar, and twisting it open.
As they did, they felt the mana start to flow freely as a surge of warm energy pulsed towards Juniper. Without being told anything, Juniper understood the sensation they were now experiencing. They felt as though they had just jumped into a warm bath, full of comfort and relaxation.
It was hard to compare since the memory was so distant now, but Juniper's father's mana hadn't felt like this. His mana felt like a cold waterfall, but Leif's felt... like an endless pool of warm water. It was so comforting, Juniper wasn't sure they ever wanted to disconnect from him.
However, they managed to remind themselves of their purpose being here in his mana. They could at least remember this much on their own.
Juniper visualized themselves touching their hands to their chest and pulling out a copy of stitches. In their visualization, the spell looked like a small, white orb with the ancient text for the spell written on its surface. Juniper dropped the orb into the depths. As they did, they saw other spells floating around in Leif's mana. One of those spells floated to the surface, reaching towards Juniper as though it was meant to be taken.
It reads heal on its face. Juniper grasped the orb and held it close to accept this gracious gift from this strange mystery man.
But something went wrong.
The heal spell pressed against Juniper's body, but only the smallest part of its surface entered their chest. The rest of it stuck out. Juniper found it hard to breathe as they tried to stuff the spell deeper in, but they suddenly felt an outside force trying to pull away.
No! Not yet, I haven't learned it yet. I just need, I just need a little more time!
Juniper's eyes opened wide as they gasped for air. They were laying on the dirt, covered in sweat, with a concerned and frightened Leif hovering over them. He asked, "Are you okay? Can you breathe? You aren't the only doctor in town, are you?"
"I'm... not a doctor... yet." Juniper groaned as they attempted to prop themselves upright, only to get off balance and teeter dangerously close to smashing their head against the cold ground. Leif, almost instinctively, moved quickly to support them by positioning his palm underneath their skull as a cushion. "Ahh.. What happened? Is that normal?"
"No..." Leif said quietly. His expression shifted and Juniper recognized that look. He looked like he pitied Juniper. A look that Juniper hated to see on anyone's face when they gazed at them.
"What is it?" Juniper asked, snapping. "Why didn't you let me learn the spell?"
"It's not that I didn't let you..." Leif continued, putting gentle pressure on Juniper's hand which he still held. "It's that... you can't."
"What?"
Leif's voice was heavy with dread as he spoke, his expression filled with sorrow. "Juniper..." He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I'm afraid you can't learn any more spells."