Chapter 9: Surface Tension

The bridge sundered beneath me.

Falling like a rock, I heard the English accent lady (really need a name for her), speak into my mind: *[You Are Now Level 2: Details?]*

“Yes!” I bellowed as a splattering death rushed up at me, accelerating 9.8 meters per second, squared. Funny what you think about sometimes.

*[New Skill Unlocked: Flash Heal. This spell will instantly restore health up to 50% and surround you with a protective cage of lightning for 4 seconds!]*

My mind raced. If I was lucky enough to hit the water, it would still destroy me, but if I could hit Flash Heal at just the right—

*[New Skill Unlocked: Floater. This spell will temporarily reduce your falling speed, in turn, decreasing falling damage by 40%!]*

“Floater!” I screamed, flicking my wrist, and launching pink and purple sparkles from my scepter. They surrounded me and shrank until they were mere particles, penetrating my clothes and skin.

Other than a fizzy sort of tickle, I didn’t feel any different, so at that particular moment, my hope meter wasn’t exactly rising.

I twisted and turned as I fell, trying to get ready with the Flash Heal spell, as well as, queueing up a healing potion. The river below and all those stony islands rocketed up at me.

“Oh, sh—” Nope.

That’s all I needed was an agony penalty sucking away my health. But I really wanted to curse.

I was headed straight for one of those stone islands. It wouldn’t matter what spells I cast or potions I used. If I hit that stone, I’d explode like a watermelon under Gallagher’s hammer.

“Mother—of pearl!” I shouted. If I survived this, I really—really—needed to check out that Diabolical Language Hotlist.

As I plummeted closer and closer to certain mass-trauma, the river and rocks began to strobe in my vision. I had to time everything just right, and even then… no guarantee. I felt dizzy but strained to focus.

Ears popping, I unfolded so that my feet would hit first. Now or never. Three, two, one!

I waved my scepter like a madman and screamed out, “Flash Heal!” One tenth of a second later, I hit the heal potion.

Then, I hit the stone.

[Insert Hiatus Marks]

I saw red.

I saw lightning.

My health showed 10%. A moment later, 9%.

I gasped, took in a mouthful of water. In some distant part of my brain it registered that the water had a coppery taste, probably my blood.

I was underwater, so I instinctively, struggled to thrust myself up. Fresh fireworks of pain lanced up my legs, under my ribs, in the middle of my chest.

8% health.

My legs weren’t working the way they were supposed to. Every kick delivered a blast of agony, but also a strange loose jiggle. I understood it in a rush. Both of my legs were broken—shattered more than likely.

Aside from a crisscrossing of white that I took to be my temporary lightning shield, all I could see was blurry flashes of blue, dark green, gray, and black. How deep had I gone?

7% health.

By the grace of the Almighty, I’d missed the hump of stone, but hitting the water at that speed was still a train wreck. Swimming upward with all my akimbo grace, I sort of remembered something from college.

It wasn’t the surface tension of the water that would kill you as was commonly believed. Sudden rapid deceleration was the culprit.

The water simply would not displace fast enough for your body to ease in. All your organs and soft tissues crash into the temporarily immovable wall of water and, well… splat.

6% health.

The lightning shield vanished. Ignoring the pain, I struggled, paddle-pulling with my arms to reach the surface. I tried hitting another health potion. It was on cooldown. I tried using the Flash Heal spell again. It too was on cooldown and besides, my mana was low anyway.

4% health.

My health decline rate increased, probably because I had almost spent the oxygen that was still in my lungs. I thought for a split-second about using a force spell, aimed downward. But just as it might provide force to launch me upward, it might also jolt my body and already sloshing organs, knocking the health bar out for good.

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3% health.

I broke the surface, feeling the warmth of late afternoon on my face. Spluttering and spitting, I gasped in as much air as I could. My health went up a few percentage points. I was back to 5%.

Pain throbbed… well, all over my body. Still gasping and wincing, I treaded water as best I could and looked around. I had landed pretty much in the center of the river with about 60 yards of swimming on either side of me to get to land.

The big hump of stone I thought I was going to hit was directly to my left, looming up like a rounded plateau. It was positively massive. Others just like it surrounded me at intervals.

How on Earth—er, Illdari, now, I guess—had I missed getting splattered all over the—

My field of vision went red. {Warning!} the jazzy New Orleans dude interrupted. {Your health is at two percent, sir. I say two percent. You are about to die.}

Without thinking, I hit Flash Heal. Instead of seeing red, I saw white blue crackling electricity forming a protective sphere around me. I hadn’t even checked mana first, but the spell had cast. My health was at 24% and ascending.

I thought I’d hit the lottery with the timely heal, but a deafening trumpet blast was my first clue revealing how terribly I’d screwed up.

Take a professional trumpet player in the middle of a fully exhaled note, and then light him on fire. That was the sound I heard all around me. My health showed 43% and climbing, but my heart pounded so hard in my chest that I still felt like I was dying.

The stone island nearest me began to rotate clockwise.

“What the heckles?” I blurted. Hey, I didn’t get warned!

I used a pain-laced frog kick to swim backward. In my periphery, two other giant humps of rock advanced on my position.

Just as the spell’s lightning cage vanished, a tiny red light on my interface warned me of more trouble. Mr. Cajun jauntily reported, {Level 3 River Shell. Hostile if attacked.}

A thick, knobby head about the size of a watermelon rose out of the stream in front of the hostile stone island creature. It had greenish blue eyes with slanted black pupils that seemed bent on me. It opened its beakish maw, and that trumpet-scream blared out.

River Shell, I thought. This thing’s a giant turtle! But why is it hostile? I never attacked it.

Except that I did. When I cast Flash Heal and the lightning ball formed around me, I’d apparently sent electrical current out into the water. Other trumpet roars sounded around me, and a sizzling sort of hiss. Yeah, I’d definitely pissed off the big turtle beasties.

My health was up to 68% now, but that would change in a hurry if I engaged with these River Shells. Wounds still screaming their protest, I rotated around, counting at least five of the creatures slowly advancing on my position. I needed a plan fast.

Mana permitting, I could hit Flash Heal again. I could attempt Force Retribution to try to knock some of them back, or maybe Reflex Lighting. Trouble was I didn’t have any spells that were true area of effect spells. I might get a good hit on one or two of the River Shells, but even with a mana potion, I wouldn’t have enough left for the others.

Ice-cold water blasted my head, sending me under for a moment, and giving me an instant pounding headache. The River Shell’s frigid spew knocked my health down to a little less than half. I splurted to the surface in time to see a River Shell open its mouth. It vomited another geyser of water at me.

I ducked under the surface again. This time, I opened my eyes. I couldn’t see much other than color and shadow. I might try to swim under one of the monsters, but if I got too close, it could rake me with its paddle-claws.

I came back up, readying Force Retribution, as well as, a mana potion for the moment after I cast. The River Shells continued to trumpet and close in. I didn’t much like my odds.

I ducked another frigid water blast, and decided Reflex Lightning was the better way to go. The jagged bolt connected with the top of the creature’s shell, causing a wisp of black smoke… but no damage that I could see. A rogue vision of Winnie the Pooh jumped unbidden into my mind. Pooh was saying, “Oh, bother.”

Oh, bother is right, I thought, hitting the mana potion. If I used lightning again, I’d need to aim much more carefully for the head because the shells were too tough.

More trumpets, hisses, and ice water jets, and I was half-drowned, frightened, and hurting. Down to 30% health. The River Shells had me surrounded, and the noose was tightening.

I could try Flash Heal, and maybe drive them back a little with that lightning shield, all the while swimming like the hounds of hell were after me. Actually, I’d prefer the hounds right now because turtles were better swimmers.

A great blaring freight train of sound drowned out the trumpeting River Shells, and my headache went nuclear. By reflex, I cast Flash Heal and struggled to stay above the surface. When I looked at the River Shells, however, they weren’t fazed at all by my lightning current in the water—fat lot of good that would have done me. The creatures weren’t looking at me at all.

They stared with those wide slanted pupil turtle eyes toward the far shore of the river. Another of their kind stood on the silty soil. This one was a behemoth, twice the size of any of my other opponents, and it looked like a different species. It had a huge triangular head mounted on a long neck that made it look almost dragon-like. It had flashing red eyes and a serrated maw that gaped now as it reared back and unleashed that freight train roar.

The River Shells glared at the intruder and paddled backward, giving me a little more breathing room. It was just enough space that I might try to swim between them. If they noticed, it would hardly be much effort for one of them to crane its neck and bite me in half.

I used my interface to see what the newcomer was. The jazzy narrator intoned smoothly, {Level 9 Ember Shell. Hostile if attacked.}

Great, I thought. Just great. I’ve got two different species about to throw down on who gets to eat me.

The River Shells started advancing again, but there came a terrible flash from the shore and a wave of hot vapor.

Instinctively, I ducked under the surface again. Through the wavering blur of water, the sky above turned a shimmering combination of blood red, solar orange, and luminous yellow.

When my breath forced me back up, I felt like I’d emerged in a sauna. It was hot as blazes, and there were wisps of steam everywhere. There was also a strange smell that reminded me of barbecue.

The River Shells had turned tail and were paddling downriver for dear life. I saw why. One of their number had been utterly roasted. Its scorched shell had a dark rift, and its head had been charred. Black smoke mingled with steam all around the corpse, and it began to list a little, like it might sink.

Holy smokes! I thought. The Ember Shell breathes fire!

I turned back to the victor. The Ember Shell moved far faster than I expected. It dove from the bank, displacing a geyser of river. The majority of its great girth moved beneath the water, but the plated ridges of its shell knifed through the water like fins. Seriously, it looked like Godzilla himself was coming right at me.

I treaded water, stupidly watching in awe as the creature halved the distance between us. I snapped out of it, just as the fins vanished beneath the water.