Chapter Nine

“I tell you, I made no threats as I approached the gate. I should have just walked around it.”

“Why didn’t you? Why did you have to attack them?” This was supposed to be my defense consul?

“What? I did not attack them!”

“Well, what did you do then that terrified them so?”

“How should I know? I smiled at them as I hailed the gate. I even waved hello.” I did it again, and watched as my consul blanched.

“That? That is what you did?”

“Yes?”

“Well, no wonder they were terrified!”

“What?”

“Here, come over to the mirror. I would guess you have never seen yourself?” He lined me up before a mirror hanging on the wall. “Now smile and wave at yourself?”

I looked at myself and it was like I had expected. Red-brown fur, a fox’s head, yellow-green eyes. I smiled as I had before and waved. Oh, my… The pointed black nails on my fingers, the glistening white teeth, as I opened wider to speak, “Hail!” My jaw popped open like I was about to bite. I even kind of scared myself.

“I was just being friendly, I thought.”

“Hmm, we can clear this up soon. But, from now on, smiling and waving? Just don’t!”

I could just imagine the old bastard sitting before his scrolls, laughing his ass off at me. After a minute, I had to laugh back, vengeance would be so sweet.

“Now, the real issue. Why are you in possession of a pair of Halfling wedding rings? The owners would never give them up willingly.”

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I was pleased with myself. I kept my Chi circulating, my breathing deep and regular, on my own I had added another ball to the cascade. All this while I practiced conversational Halfling with the guards outside my cell. They were there more just because the rules said the needed to have four guards, but I was the only prisoner. Three days of swapping tall tales and bigger lies had let me become rather competent.

Your skill Spoken Halfling, has improved +1, L15

I was in the middle of regaling them with the story of ‘Jack the Giant Killer.’ When who should walk in but the consul I hadn’t seen in the days I had been here.

“Well! Look what the Cat dragged in, that the Dog wouldn’t eat!”

“Mind your tongue, or I won’t turn over these documents. But I must say, that is a good use of the proper language.”

“What documents might those be?” smiling at the language compliment.

“Why your release orders, to be sure.” He looked at me, “You do want to get out, right? Or would you prefer to continue your language studies?”

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I looked back over my shoulders, that was the fifth Merrow family farm. When I made the offer to have them move a week’s travel away to an unknown land, and a farm in unknown condition, they couldn’t kick me out fast enough.

There was that one Merrow on the first farm who was interested, but he bothered me. Just talking to him had left me feeling slimy.

This was the last Merrow farm.

“I heard what you are offering and we’re not interested!” This was a thin Halfling, honestly, he didn’t look like he had done a hard day’s labor in his life. But even I could tell this crop was thriving.

“If you did go you could easily earn the favor of the Qin Emperor. High-quality pipe leaf like this would be sure to guarantee consistent sales. You would earn friends everywhere.”

“Truly? Benson Merrow at your service.” Oh, bait taken. He offered his hand to shake.

“The Emperor has a standing order for the leaf from the farm in question. This leaf seems to be even better quality.”

“What do I need to do?”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Will you need to sell this farm first?”

“Oh, no. There are relatives I can turn it over to. My Uncle has always had his eye on these lands.”

“Good then. Tonight, come into town and I can meet you and Neil Merrow together and make my choice come morning. We must hurry back North.”

Something wasn’t right about him either. Then I stopped in mid-step as I realized what it was. A farmer with smooth callus-free hands?

The Halfling Nation was looking to improve relations with the Empire, so the town council made a huge event of the party. Endless streams of people praising the two.

It had only taken a few basic questions to find that neither of the two choices had a clue about raising the pipe leaf, they were managers who let others do the actual farming.

Neil was looking to do anything to increase his profit margin and would appeal to the Upright Man, I was sure.

While Benson was interested in the glory of the Emperor’s favor which would please the Magistrate.

Neither, pleased me, or I was sure the townsfolk.

I escaped the party for a few minutes of clear air. The oil and smarminess of Neil, and the obsequiousness of Benson, made me want to smile at the two.

A cluster of women sat on the wall, many smoking pipes. These women weren’t dressed in the gowns of the town ladies, or the uniforms of the maids. These were all dressed in the tunic and pants of farm laborers. Nodding to them I went to stand a short distance away and looked up at the stars.

“Which did you choose?”

“Sorry? Who are you? Growlf of Yangsan,” I offered my hand.

“Melony Merrow. Benson is my younger brother, Neil is my uncle.” Her grip was firm and rough?

I turned the hand over and saw the expected calluses.

“So, let me guess, Benson, he manages, while you do all the work?”

“Pretty much.”

“Younger brother, though? Why does he own the farm and not you?”

“The Rules say so. Women cannot own land. Women cannot choose their own spouses,” it obvious how several of the women looked at each other.

“Ah, then I would also guess your relationships are against the rules?”

They looked worried for a second, then Melony spoke up,

“Yes. We could be exiled for such a thing.”

Looking at them thoughtfully,

“Would that be such a bad thing? I have an offer if you are all willing?”

I leaned in and started speaking…

=-=-=-=-

The next morning dawned sunny and nearly cloudless. The town officials looking under the weather, Halflings could drink and eat incredible amounts but were not immune to the after effects like dwarves were.

The Merrow candidates were there, both with their travel luggage already packed.

“Good folk! I have indeed considered all the factors, the Emperor’s Will has made it clear what he desires of the farm near Yangsan. My choice will be in line with his desires. As well, the people of Yangsan, and certain powers among them desire the farm to be producing as soon as possible, so strong and hardy workers will be needed. In accordance with this I have chosen the heir to the Merrow lands in Yangsan and selected workers to move to the land immediately. Melony Merrow will assume ownership at once, accompanied by Alice Rivers, Erin Rivers, Heidi Grass, Justine…”

“But! You cannot do that! A woman cannot inherit!” Gods, Neil was such scum.

“Under Imperial Law, a woman may indeed inherit, and as much as it is called the Merrow Farm, it is on Imperial land and well inside the borders of Qin. Do you dispute this?” I was feeling pleased with myself over that.

“That makes it my land!” Benson spoke up, “It is a Father or Brother’s responsibility to hold and care for any lands owned by an unwed or widowed sister.”

“Then it is a good thing I witnessed the pledge of promise between Melony Merrow and Amber Hilltop and will stand with them before the Imperial Magistrate.”

“You cannot do this!”

“It is done. Unless you decide to go against Imperial Will and imprison an Imperial Diplomat?” That was stretching it, but I had spent hours offline as I read up on diplomatic contracts and law. I was deep into the Baffle them with your Bullshit portion of my argument.

With perfect timing, two wagons pulled up. Each pulled by two ponies, loaded high with the personal belongings of the nine women who would be accompanying me today.

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Nine days traveling. I never knew how slow loaded wagons were. This was getting ridiculous. I could step out my door, have a limo pick me up and catch a sub-orbital hyper sonic shuttle to the opposite side of the planet, and be home in time for dinner. These wagons couldn’t possibly go slower without standing still. Nine days and we still hadn’t reached the lands near Yangsan.

To avoid boredom, I was running ahead to setup the evening camp, staying behind to break camp as the dawdled down the road.

I know their legs were short. I know they had to stop for five meals a day. But, come on, how did they ever achieve anything?

I heard the laughter and splashing from behind the hedge. Oh! We can’t travel today, it is the end of the fortnight! Really? REALLY? Oh, yes. They had said, Travel is so exhausting they said.

So, now we were taking a day, well they were taking a day, to play in the river. At least the river meant we were close to Yangsan. Well, close for me. If my count was right I had four days to get them to the farm and report to the Magistrate and the Upright Man.

At least I had something new to serve as a distraction as I circulated my Chi and kept the balls flying. Squeeeee! There it was, who would have thought such tiny lungs could produce such a piercing and painful noise…

=-=-=-=-

It was late morning on the last day as the two wagons creaked their way into the farmyard on the Merrow Farm. It had been abandoned for some three months now. And it looked it.

The chicken coop was littered with bones and feathers. The barn had the bones of three cow-like things in the pasture out back. The main house, something had come through and bashed in the main door and ransacked the place.

I crept up behind them and caught Melony and Amber staring out at the plants in the fields. Shaking their heads,

“Hasn’t been weeded in forever, and this crop has gone to seed.”

“Useless low-grade pipe weed anyway.”

“Good thing my worthless brother will never notice that we took all the cuttings.”

“That and all the pots, pans and household goods.”

I took that moment to stop sneaking and talk to them,

“Excuse me. We really need to hurry into town. The Magistrate and others need to know you are here.”

“What? No, no, the ponies need to rest. We need to rest. Not to mention, there is so much to do here. Maybe tomorrow or the day after we can go.”

“It has to be today. There is a time limit or I will be declared a criminal.”

“We’ll just explain to them and all will be good. Besides, if the town is as far as you say, it is too late to get there in time today. So just rest and we will leave in the morning.” Melony stood adamant, hipshot with her hands waving in refusal before me.

“I apologize in advance for this, but there is no time.”

I grabbed Melony into my arms,

“It is indeed too late the way you move.” I lengthened my stride and channeled my Chi faster and my feet barely touched the ground. Calling over my shoulder, “I’ll have her back tomorrow! Ouch! That hurt…”

A struggling Halfling proved and easier to manage load than four balls as I hit my full speed.