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John's P.O.V.

I looked at Angela, swamped, held Sherlock to my chest, rubbing over his back, and continued singing. My friend closed his eyes and clinged to my jumper with his right hand, hugging his own shoulder with his left, but the spasms subsided, and his breathing slowly became less rushed. Angela was still assisting by taking off his shoes to knock at his feet. I checked his pulse and relaxed a bit, when I felt it returning to normal, but continued with the lullaby. I stopped when Sherlock suddenly let out a sigh, and stretched, as though waking up from a bad dream, but Angela insisted: "Keep holding him! He might try to get up, and he's still dizzy.”

So I stayed put and held on, even when my friend opened his eyes in surprise. He looked at me, then immediately tried to sit up straight and let go of my jumper, muttering: "Oh, I'm sorry John, I did not mean to collapse like that, please forgive me.” My eyes got big and I answered sheepishly: "Well, you must really feel bad to be apologizing. But it's okay, it's not like you were in control of your body.” "Do you have to rub it in?”, Sherlock snapped back in his usual manner, but then looked back down, holding his head, and apologized again: "Sorry, that was rude. Thank you for your help. It's just... This did not work out like I had planned.” Still unsure how to cope with all this, I replied: "Never mind. I apologize for... overreacting. I probably should just... go with it.”

Angela turned to me in wonder, asking: "But what was it, that made you angry to begin with? From what you told me, Mo... Sherlock only told you the facts! He didn't manipulate you to be with him, he wouldn't! What were you arguing over?”, when I burst out: "Well, I just don't understand, I mean, why would I stop being a bachelor to marry my friend and have a baby? How... Why would I do that, what, did I think, I'll never find anyone better?” Sherlock flinched at that, so that I held him closer out of reflex, when Angela remarked puzzled: "Why? I thought you loved each other...” "Well sure, we're friends, of course,” I huffed nervous, then stuttered, "but him and me... In the future, that, that's just um, pla.. platonic, right? I-I mean, we don't, do... Do-do do we?"

This was all so embarrassing. I'm sure I was turning bright red, still holding Sherlock like that. Now I was the one looking at Angela with pleading eyes. She seemed confused, and asked: "But Da... John, do you really feel that way? I mean you..." This time Sherlock cut her off, looking at me with a hard face: "Obviously! Come on John, could you really think, I would ever be interested in such things?", only to have Angela shout out: "But you are!" Now we both looked at her, mortified, as she explained: "Of course you share your love for each other on all levels! Why shouldn't you? I... I really don't understand this."

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Angela shifted from kneeling to sitting down on the floor next to us, still furrowing her brows bewildered, stating: "Da... Daddy often told me, how he had admired Mom from afar, not daring to ever let his feelings wander too deep into the thought of being together, because he still felt ashamed of thinking that way of another man. But he did dream and daydream about you two.” No I didn't! I never... I just sometimes like to remember happy situations with him, that's not strange, that's normal! Thinking of his rare smile, when he looks content about solving a case, makes me feel warm. Because I'm happy for him, not because I want to do things with him! And feeling safe and lo... cared for, when I'm with him, that's just because we're friends, nothing else!

But then she moved on to talk about Sherlock: "And Mom told me, he never considered such a union with anyone but him. And even then did he not dare approach him, because he feared his rejection.” I couldn't see my friends reaction, as he turned away from me, facing her. But surly this was news to him! He wouldn't fear my rejection, he'd count on it for his prank to work! He can't really mean it! Love me. He doesn't love anyone but himself. And even that, I'm not so sure of. He never takes care of himself...

Angela interrupted my thoughts, as she got a distant look, reporting: "But one day... it was after a great tragedy, when Daddy felt like he was all alone in the world, deserted by God, so broken, and lonely, and numb... Mom felt, that he was in a real mess, he later told me, he honestly feared he might take his own life.” Me? But why? What happened to me in the future? "That's when he decided to come clean and tell him.”, she continued, "He sat him down and admitted his feelings, and why he had never told him before. He emphasized, that he did not consider, that his feelings would be reciprocated, and that this confession was not supposed to guilt him into a relationship, by far! But he just wanted him to know, that he was still wanted and needed by someone in his life, and he begged him not to hurt himself, and seek help instead.”

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Could Sherlock ever be so caring? I wondered. Would he really miss me, if I left? She went on: "Mom said, he had never felt so vulnerable in his life. There had been events leading up to the tragedy, that had put a huge strain on their friendship, and it was not entirely unlikely for Daddy to tell him to go to hell and mean it. And Mom said, if that had happened, he would not have been able to ignore that command.” To my surprise, Sherlock gave her a slight nod, and she kept talking: "But instead, as hurt and torn and lonely as Daddy was, he just took him in his arms and cried for a very long time. And since then, they had met up with each other almost daily, Daddy would hold Mom for hours on end, as if holding him meant holding on to life. And on one of those occasions, he just kissed him.”

I did what?! Me? Why would I, how... What happened to me in that time? "Just once and not for a long time.”, she clarified. Well thank God! But she added: "They didn't talk about it. But that's how you..." Angela had just stared down at the floor up to now, but suddenly looked up and from me to Sherlock and back, to emphasize: "It's how you got together. And you found happiness with each other! I... In all my life, I saw you argue and fight, and kiss and make up, really kiss I mean, and you would dance together, and make fun, and laugh, and Mom would play tricks on Daddy, and Daddy would get revenge by tickling Mom until he cried blue murder, and you'd hug, and smooch, and I remember I walked in on you two more than once when I was a kid, because you forgot to lock the door..."

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"Oh my God!", I cried out, finally letting go of Sherlock, to cover half my face with my right hand, while clutching my leg with my left. Please, just why? Could she be lying, just to confuse me? Why would I ever allow that to happen? I'm not gay! I'm not! And neither is Sherlock. Right? My friend pulled his legs close to his torso and wrapped them with his arms, looking over to me with worry, and then at Angela with questioning eyes. Tears started forming in hers, as she carefully placed a hand on my shoulder, so that I looked at her as she said: "John, I didn't mean to frighten you! This is just... I lost my family! I lost my whole life a few days ago, and I can never get it back! You... or your future self, and Sherlock's future self, you two send me here to prevent awful things from happening to millions of people.”

That's right, she came here with a mission, I almost forgot. "I had hoped, that at least I could be with you two for a while, you know, have something like a surrogate for the family I lost. But I never thought, revealing these things to you would cause you so much discomfort!”, she assured. What an understatement, I was scared shitless to be honest. This wasn't supposed to happen to me! With something like desperation in her voice, she explained: "I always thought, if you two only had known from each others feelings sooner, then you could have been happy together much sooner too! And to be honest...”, she sighed, "I mean, I always called you Daddy, and Sherlock later Mom, but you were much more involved in raising me, regarding relationships, and emotions, and social constructs, and you never grew tired of telling me to be honest with my feelings, because I might miss out on so much, if I wasn't!”

Well, alright, she got me there. This would be what I'd say to my children, if I had any. It's not like I'm against that kind of relationship in general, and of course I would never abandon someone I love, if they were that way, but myself? Can't I just be normal? "That's why it just strikes me as so odd, that you now seem so shocked!”, Angela interrupted my thoughts, "I really don't understand. Is this time different from mine? Don't you... don't you feel this way about Sherlock now?" I looked at her helpless, and Sherlock looked at me, tense, but also a little sad, like he knew the answer and didn't like it. Angela cried a single tear, then wiped over her eyes, to put on a brave face, as she took her hand off my shoulder. I still didn't speak, and insecure, I looked over to Sherlock, to immediately shut my eyes and tilt my head down to avoid that sad gaze on me.

I turned back to Angela and asked in a dry tone: "You... walked in on us?" She nodded. Sherlock wrapped his legs tighter. "Sherlock and I married, and had a child, and we... are happy together? Like a real, normal couple?", I continued. It just seemed so weird. She answered with a smile: "As normal as two detectives going on adventures to fight crime with a curious little girl to tag along can get! And as much as you two argued, yes, I always had the impression, you were very happy with each other. And I felt very loved and cared for." I shifted my weight uneasy, but then looked at her again. Her face was open, her smile seemed genuine. And there was something else. Something that had made me think of her as someone welcome. Puzzled, I kept searching. That smile. Genuine. Her eyes were smiling too. That warm look...

Then I gave Sherlock a quick run over, who flinched a bit at this, and looked back at Angela, squinting. Finally, I reached for her shoulder, half cupping her face to ask: "You know... you seem to have his eyes! Have I ever told you that?" Angela had to stifle a sob with one hand, as the tears came back, and she replied: "About every time you put me to bed!" Her sad eyes. Sherlock's sad eyes. He never looked like that before. And now it was like he was looking at me twice. I couldn't stand it. I didn't want him to be sad. Or her. So, I gave her one of my sweetest smiles, and opened my arms to say: "Come here girl!"

She sobbed once more, then gladly took the invitation and hugged me back, as I pulled her into a tight embrace. It felt rewarding, comforting her like that. Protecting her. Protecting Sherlock... I made up my mind, turned to Sherlock, who still sat there, bundled into a tense ball, and also reached for him with my right, to say: "You too!" He looked puzzled and unclenching his arms, tilted his head back a little, muttering: "You... you want..." "Yes!", I just stated, arm still open, looking over to him with a shy, but determined smile.

So my friend, very slowly, scooted over to me, and let me pull him into a hug too, mounting into a group hug, when Angela also wrapped her left arm around Sherlock, hiding her head by pressing against our chests to cry like a little girl seeking comfort in her parents embrace. And so, at last, Sherlock also wrapped one arm around the young woman, and one around me. We sat like this for some minutes, me carefully patting over Sherlock's back, and stroking Angela's head, while she grabbed onto our clothes, shoulders trembling from the sobs. Sherlock stared into the room with a blank expression, but also rubbed his thumb over my neck and shoulder, giving me some strange, but not really unpleasant shivers. And somehow, it all felt alright.

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