The sound of cheering was so loud it could be heard a mile away, and unfortunately, Elliot was only a couple of feet away from the source.
“GAHH!? GauhbAhu!? Gahahah!”
“Kireek! Geehehhe! Wahagaba!”
The red goblin was just too elated to be meeting its old friend again, apparently. Even the green goblin was in tears at the reunion. Elliot honestly didn’t have the time for this, though. “Yeah, look. I get it's a touching moment and all but we really have to get going…”
Elliot’s stomach growled as he said that, and he lowered his head in resignation.
He sighed as he realized he wasn’t making any headway into the two knuckleheads’ heads. At least they hadn’t been immediately attacked by the first one he summoned, which was enough for him honestly. He wished they were more mindless than this, though. The green one removed himself from the other and walked up to him, grabbing his hands with their rough, tiny hands, babbling in an incoherent tongue with a massive grin on their face.
It’d almost be cute, had it not been for the worryingly few jagged teeth in its poorly maintained mouth.
He nodded warily, pushing the goblin back to its friend to get them from touching him. He watched a bit longer before his stomach started rumbling again. He looked down with a frown, before turning back to the map and compass. It wasn’t fair, he’d killed these two, hadn’t he? Why was it that he didn’t get a reward, then? His hunger or thirst wasn’t even satiated by them, which was like, the default for the gods.
He had to make it to a town soon, since that was the only reason he was able to act so lazily during this journey. Now that the mortal toil of hunger loomed over him, he didn’t have time to sleep.
“Come on you two, we don’t have much time before I keel over and die. If you don’t want your master to starve, then follow. I don’t think the gods are gonna take away my hunger anymore.” The two immediately became quiet, looking at him as if he’d just swore at them. They quickly followed with their heads lowered, following behind him a decent four feet. Any other time he’d find that shift in behavior weird, but it was just too convenient for him now to care.
“Uh, ok. Let’s go.” He pointed forward, a grin on his face. “To Gentle Mornings!” He started off, seeing the road that stems off the mountain just up downslope… maybe a good 4 miles away.
Hey, it meant he was about halfway there, though. Take what you can get, right?
__________________________________________________________________________
Well, morning sure came quick. Even though he made sure to sleep once he met the trees, he still felt as if he’d just closed his eyes. At least he didn’t have to work too hard to get food. He yawned as Pepper fell from the sky, letting out a pained groan before walking to him in complaint. He waved it off, pushing the goblin back to the tree with a foot. “Come on, you two… how the hell do you little bastards whine so much. You’re like, built for the job.”
He looked at their weird bodies as they climbed, wondering why the hell they were so bad at this. They had long, bulky arms and tiny, stumpy legs, like monkeys. If those features weren’t just built for climbing then he didn’t know what was.
He had named them yesterday, the green one Mint and the red one Pepper. He had thought about naming them just their colors, but then he realized just how much that dehumani… de-goblin-ized them.
Hah.
…Eventually, he just came up with these two names, based on the red one’s ugly personality and the green one’s… greeniness. Hey, at least they both seemed recipient to it. As Elliot pondered, he heard a squeal from the top, and then a sudden crashing noise. It seemed Mint fell too, and Elliot almost just gave up on the whole thing before the poor goblin wobbly raised an arm, holding a delicious, if a bit bruised, fruit in the air for all to see.
He ran up to the goblin, snatching it out of its hands with joy as it moaned in pain. “You got it! Mint, you absolute hero! We’re not gonna die!” His eyes never once left the fruit, his stomach not having eaten anything in weeks. The gods might have satiated his hunger, but that didn’t mean they had given him anything physical to eat. To bite down on…
And boy, did this fruit look good enough to bite down on. It was a golden color and perfectly round, looking almost like a melon in both size and shape. Though, the texture was more similar to a mango. It looked delicious, through and through. Wiping drool from his mouth, he went to pat the poor goblin on the stomach.
“Good job, Mint. I always believed in you.” The goblin smiled, before closing its eyes to rest. Elliot understood, the damn trees with fruits on them were few and far between, and not to mention, looked hard as hell to climb.
At almost twenty feet tall with almost no branches for a good fourteen feet, it made them look more like carved poles than trees…
It must have taken quite a bit of determination and core strength for the goblin to get it, and Elliot was grateful. “Good job, Mint. And you too, Pepper. Here.”
He split the fruit in half, his stomach rumbling with hunger as it exploded with juice,getting on his fingers. He wiped away some drool as he split the half in half, giving one each to the goblins. He’d never seen eyes shine with so much innocent excitement. “You two can have some for your troubles.
Remember, you’ll always get a share for whatever you find, so find a lot, ok? Now, eat up.” The two nodded and dug in, Mint even started tearing up. He almost felt bad, getting such a reaction when they’d done all the work to get it…
But he was still the more important one in this situation. Besides, he wasn’t even sure they required food in the first place. He took a bit out of the sweet, fleshy fruit and he almost keeled over, the flavor exploding on his tongue and sending ripples down his spine. “Oh… fuck this is good.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
He took another fleshy bite and shuddered at the taste. All he’d had for the last couple of meals had been the occasional over-cooked rabbit or deer here or there. Every time the meat had been bland at best and poisonous at worst. It was to the point he stopped eating altogether and just started relying on the gods to satiate him. The flesh separated in his teeth easily enough, and the flavor…
“Oh, fuck.”
He wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t eaten for a week, or if the fruits actually just tasted like the tastiest, tangiest, juiciest fruit he’d ever tasted, but it felt like heaven in his mouth. As the last bit of fruity flesh went down his throat he licked the sticky nectar off his hands, not wanting to waste a single moment. He finished it too quickly, yet at the same time his stomach felt full, satisfied.
Satisfied didn’t mean he didn’t want more, though. It seemed the goblins had the same mindset. He pointed at the tree with all the flamboyance of a tyrant king. “Go get me every goddamn fruit on that tree! Both of you get twenty-five percent of the profits! GO GO GO GO GO!”
“Grieaauk!” The battle cries were akin to warriors fighting for a nation. Unlike last time, it didn’t take too much to get them scrambling up the bark. Pepper even had a look of pure glee on their face as they dashed up the wall, quite unusual for the normally grumpy goblin. He moved out of the way of the goblin splash zone, no sense in him getting hurt as well as whichever one of them hit the ground.
He sat to the side, hoping the little buggers would be able to get at least 4 of those blissful round fruits before closing his eyes and letting the sweet, lingering taste in his mouth lull him to sleep.
He woke up to the violent force of someone shaking him awake.
“Guah! Abuguh… Gah!” He couldn’t understand, his brain too zoned out for him to comprehend the goblin speak of Mint. Eventually, though, he wisened up. “Sto-o-o-p Sha-a-aki-i-ing me-e-e.” The goblin seemed to realize what it was doing and backed off, letting him see in front of hi-
Oh shit. He scurried up off his feet, mortified. There were about a dozen fruits scattered all over the floor, but what was really concerning was the goblin in the middle of them all.
Their skin a pale, faded brown.
“What happened!?” Elliot shouted.
He rushed towards the now dead goblin on the floor jarred into a twisted position. Their neck was twisted horrifically, with a bone jutting out of… “Oh, god. Oh, fuck…” Elliot had to look away, gore not being something he could handle. Instinctively, the book appeared in his hands and he flipped it to the first page. “Uh… shit, um… Summon fiend, Red Goblin.” The familiar magic came to him, and his stomach burned hot for a second before the mana rushed up to his finger and fell to the ground. He sighed as the goblin corpse shattered inside the circle, Pepper appearing from the ground with a blank expression on their face.
When Pepper was finally fully summoned, they looked at him with shocked eyes, looking at their own two hands and then at Mint. For a second Elliot was terrified they lost their memories, before they charged up to Mint and smacked them on the head. “Agaga! HAaagh!” He seemed to be chewing Mint out, and by the way Mint was groveling it seemed he had taken a part in the goblin’s untimely demise.
He sighed in relief, happy that they didn’t have to say goodbye to each other, at the very least not for a second time. Letting them do their little act, he divided up the fruits.
14 fruits in total divided by a half and two quarters was… 6… No, four. Uh… He was pretty sure there was a decimal involved. Shit, that meant he couldn’t use his fingers… right? He tried to do the mental math for a few more minutes until Mint went to the pile and took four, splitting one in half before handing it to pepper. Pepper gave him a glare before relenting, taking three extra from the pile and leaving Elliot with seven…
No way. He continued to do the mental math just in case the two were shorting him and realized they had actually figured it out…
Annoyed at their intelligence, he took one of the fruits and bit into it, skin and all. He could have done the math too if he hadn’t been so abruptly woken up… Ah, what was he saying again? He shuddered as the fruit slid down his throat, and the tangy taste filled his mind. His mood suddenly became a lot brighter. It was like a little chunk of happiness dropped into his stomach. “Alright you two, eat up and then we get going. I won't take no for an answer.” They groggily accepted the remark as they sunk their teeth into their second fruit, waggling their legs in the air as they were lying down.
Shit, it was actually pretty cute.
…He shook his head. That was just the delicious food talking. He let the two finish their fruits. Only able to finish his first by the time they were done with all of them. Hehe, idiots. He stood, stretching his back as he looked at his mighty pile. “Alright, you two. I need you to help me carry my fruits while we walk.” The goblins, way too full from the fruit they’d eaten, groaned in annoyance at the request. Mint stood up and weakly tried helping up Pepper, who still had a look of annoyance on their face.
He smiled at the two, before remembering. “Oh, and I swear to god if I catch any of you two eating my share I will bring out the chains again.”
Mint froze, dropping Pepper who hit the ground with a yelp. Damnit, he forgot just how easy to scare the green one was. He walked over and rubbed the poor thing’s head. “Not you, Mint. I know you follow orders. I just don’t trust Pepper all that much.” The red goblin turned its head to him in shock. “Gruak!?” Pepper jumped from the ground in an instant, pointing a finger at him incredulously.
“Gekgrawwaka!”
Elliot pointed back.
“You attacked me when we first met! Don’t think I forgot!”
“Bah!? Gaba huagh!”
“I gave you an out! I’m telling you Mint, don’t listen to his devilish words, all lies- Gah!”
_________________________________________________________________
Mint watched in horror as their red goblin companion tackled Master. Almost jumping in to protect him, it stopped when it realized both Master and Pepper were both grinning as they wrestled in the ground. Neither was really harming the other, which was strange. Were they not mad at each other? Mint fell back, leaning onto the tree behind them with exhaustion. Just this moment alone was enough to tax them emotionally.
Deciding he could do no better than watch, Mint sat back and with a calm expression, and watched the two gripe about their petty troubles.
Despite his anxiousness, It was nice being back in the living. It seemed so much brighter now that he was under the guidance of his new master… as if it was all easier to understand now. It might have been a bit more trouble, but that was nowhere near the rewards. Even if his new master was strange.
No, they might have been a bit odd, but they still had saved him when he had died. They were nice as well… at times. At least they had fed the two. Mint watched his master pick up his red goblin companion and drop on their back, both yelling in pain at the poor attempt to grapple the other into submission… It was immediately met with his master back on the floor, yelping as the red goblin grabbed hold.
“Gah! Not the hair! That took me eight years to grow! Mint, help!”
…Truly, they were an odd master.