Tred stood outside of Cenz's office doors for nearly ten full minutes before finally making himself ring for entrance.

He knew that Cenz was probably aware of him. There wasn't much that escaped the head of the science division, he could split his attention better than any human.

So Cenz was just letting him stew, he thought. It seemed appropriate.

Part of him wondered if he and Jophiel had been laughing at him!

But no. Just as soon as he had that thought he dismissed it shamefully. Neither of them were like that, and it was only this . . . emotional outburst that was making him think that way.

He knocked. He just did it, scaring himself in the process, and wanting to run.

The door opened.

"Engineer Tred, please come in," Cenz said jovially, his screen smiling. He waved him in.

"I, uh, sorry for standing there for so long," Tred stammered. He probably shouldn't have admitted that.

"I imagined you were taking time to put your thoughts in order," Cenz replied. "And so long as no one else was trying to come in or go out, I saw no issue with it! So; what did you wish to speak with me about?"

Tred just gaped. He had not put his thoughts together, even though he wished he could have.

He didn't know what to say or ask. Every way he could think of to broach the topic to Cenz seemed . . . Well, he didn't want to do it that way.

"I saw you at the parade," he said. It was an incredibly inane statement, he knew.

Yet Cenz seemed to find nothing wrong with it.

"Ah, yes, I did go down to it for some time! It was a pleasure spending time with Ambassador Jophiel, they are a very wonderful being, and with a fascinating perspective on many things."

Tred's heart beat faster as Cenz brought up the very topic.

But he still didn't know what to say, exactly.

"You weren't wearing a costume," he said dumbly.

"That is true," Cenz replied, taking it seriously, his screen showing a deeply contemplative expression. "You are not the first to note my lack of 'darkeve spirit'. I usually tell people that this is a solemn period for my people, but the truth is somewhat sillier; getting all of the polyps that make up my collective consciousness to agree on a single costume is a very difficult task. I suspect most people see through my fabrication, however."

"Oh," Tred said.

Cenz considered him for a long moment. "But I do not think you came here to discuss my lack of costume, did you, Mr. Tred?"

"No," he said.

"Why, may I ask, did you come here? I do not mean to be rude, but you seem . . . upset." Cenz steepled the fingers on his hands. Tred knew their specifications; he'd studied them for making Jophiel's drone. For a time he'd considered giving her advanced limbs for manipulation, but at that time he did not feel he could do them sufficiently well.

"I guess I am," Tred said.

He had been studying more, though. Perhaps he could make her superior arms now. Perhaps it'd even be okay to enlist Cenz's help, or at least copy his arms verbatim, even if that seemed a very lazy method.

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"I noticed that your heart rate went up when I mentioned the Ambassador. Is this issue related to them?"

"Yes," Tred replied robotically.

He still wanted to give her that gift, even if she didn't think of him as . . . special, he thought. It was a pathetic thought, maybe. But he just wanted to show that he was okay with her, no matter what.

"I was surprised that Jophiel did not ask you to accompany them," Cenz said. "But I considered it an honor to be asked to chaperone them."

"It was good of you," Tred said.

"But it upset you, it seems," Cenz replied. His expression grew more concerned. "Tred, have you developed feelings for the Ambassador?"

Tred's head felt light. No one had said it before. Everyone had surely noticed, but thought it was harmless. Or cute. Or maybe even funny that he would develop a crush on a non-corporeal being.

"I . . ." he wanted to deny it, play it off. But he could not. It hurt too much to even deny.

"Why has she been ignoring me?" he finally asked. "I don't know what I did wrong!"

Tears burst forth from him and he suddenly found himself unable to form coherent words.

Cenz appeared next to him. The science officer's bulk was often somewhat intimidating in the way of a huge object. But somehow, he was comforting as he knelt there.

"Oh, Tred," he said calmly. "You are suffering, I am truly sorry. Your emotions are causing you this pain - sometimes they run wild and we take leave of our senses."

"I'm so sorry," Tred said, sobbing. "I-I'm just an embarrassment . . ."

"Nonsense," Cenz said. "You are, to put it colloquially, only human. Just as I am only polyps - we are flawed beings of biology, built by eons of evolution for very specific times and places that at times poorly fit into the broader complex universe we find ourselves in now."

He put his hand on Tred's shoulder. It was not cold, as Tred had always expected of the water-filled suit. It was . . . surprisingly warm.

"For your own sake, take some deep breaths, Tred. You do not need to feel ashamed, but you will feel better the sooner you can calm yourself. Think with your rational mind. I know you can do it; you have faced far worse than this."

Which was true, Tred realized. He had faced Leviathans at times, hadn't he? Gone onto ships of tortured, twisted reality and come back.

He felt hurt and raw, but he was alive.

Taking a shuddering breath, he managed to calm himself a little.

"D-Did Jophiel say anything about me?" he asked, almost breaking down again. He fought to keep his composure.

"I cannot tell you what the Ambassador has told me in confidence," Cenz said. "But I do not think you should worry."

"So she didn't?"

Cenz was silent for a few moments. "Did it truly bother you so much to see Jophiel with me?"

"I . . . I thought maybe she liked you more," Tred said, his lip trembling.

"I do not profess to understand that well how Star Angels feel such things," Cenz said. "The Ambassador seems to be very friendly with all people they meet. They do not hesitate to take them into a personal intimacy that is deeper than most species. Even I was slightly surprised - in a pleasant way - by this behavior."

He was quiet for a minute. "And though I cannot speak for the Ambassador, I can at least tell you that my people do not have romantic feelings for others in this way. Ours is . . . well, we live in colonies. Our inter-personal relationships are fundamentally different from singular beings."

Tred nodded dumbly. "S-should I try talking to her . . . ?" He choked slightly, then coughed. "But I'm so scared . . ."

"I think," Cenz said gently, "That you need some time and distance to think on this, Tred. However . . . if the Ambassador has truly changed their behavior towards you, given your status as their assistant, this does become something of an official matter. I . . . could potentially ask if they are upset with you."

"Y-you could?!" Tred asked, grabbing Cenz by the shoulders.

Cenz's face seemed very uneasy.

"I could," he admitted. "But I do not know what the result will be. You must understand this."

He did not want to tell Tred what he expected; that Jophiel had realized the depths of his feelings and was unsure how to navigate this issue themselves. It was not a great position for any of them.

He wondered how Dr. Y had failed to notice Tred's behavior.

Or, perhaps he had and had seen it as harmless. Or not known what to say or do about it.

After all, to develop a crush was very normal. It was no violation of rules or decorum so long as it did not interfere with your normal duties.

Though, noting Tred's current state, it had certainly advanced to that point now.

"I will speak to them," he reiterated. "But whatever occurs, I cannot control."

"Please!" Tred said. "I just need to know if I did something to upset her!"

Cenz stood up slowly. "I will speak to you again Tred. In the meantime, go visit Dr. Zyzus, he will give you a calming medication."

Tred hesitated. Cenz knew he hated taking calmers. They were a far cry from the ancient human medicines for such conditions as his, there were no terrible side-effects or unpredictable outcomes. But he hated them anyway.

"Okay," Tred said.