Three weeks. It took me three weeks before I ran out of tears. I could no longer cry myself to sleep. I no longer woke up, balling my eyes out. The slow, aching pain in my chest that gradually burned a bigger hole, was no longer there. In its place, a large gaping hole filled with nothing. My emotional pain tolerance has all but run out. I am bled dry. 

I lay here, in bed, pillow covering my eyes in the darkness. Everything feels so heavy. I feel absolutely exhausted, even after sleeping for the past 14 hours. I had cried and screamed, so adamant on giving up and just not feeling the pain anymore. Where did all that conviction go, I wonder? There’s a moment after hitting rock bottom, where you no longer have anything left to give and you reflect on that pain. You look at all that suffering and absolute misery that seeped from your very core, pounding in your head with every heartbeat. You look back and you think, “Why...why me?”. 

I quit my job. I cut ties with everyone I know. I am truly and utterly alone. Distancing myself from others in the real world makes it so much easier not to be stabbed in the back. I often criticize myself for caring too deeply for others. I fall in love too hard, too fast. She was my everything. I gave her 4 years of my life and a ring, and she threw it all away for one night of "fun". I can’t blame her though. Seeing myself now, I realize the red flags I have and the toxic qualities. Obsessive. Cares too much. Insecure. It’s all there. Why wouldn’t she go for a guy who’s more confident, doesn’t need reassurance and is an asshole? What a keeper, right? Not.

For the past three weeks, through all my pain and suffering, one thing has been lurking in the back of my mind. The one thing that has always relieved stress and helped me forget about the real world; video games. Before this tragic life event, I had been happily awaiting the release of a new VRMMO called Origins of Magic Online. Although VR has progressed a crazy amount the last 100 years, this new VRMMO is said to set new standards and break records. 

Two years ago a company called NanoTech publicly released a new VR technology that completely erases the line between VR and reality. They accomplished this by essentially hijacking the brain’s “flow” in the body and allowing it to travel into a computer. After this advancement, thousands of game development companies started working on new VR games and worlds to fully immerse players into their games using this technology. Origins of Magic Online is the first one to take it to another level using complicated dream-states and looking at how the brain perceives information in an entirely different way. 

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

From what the beta-testers have said, the game features an almost infinite number of class and species evolutions and combinations. The game is unique in the idea that you do not pick a class, a class is given to you based on how you utilize certain skills in a tutorial. From there you can further level that class and specialize into subclasses. This is also true for your Species. Currently, every player starts out as Human, but the evolution tree allows for many different species to blossom from there. 

One of the last few things we know about the game is the AI system. They’ve incorporated an advanced level of machine learning AI and made all AI unique. This is also somewhat true for monsters. Monsters respawn in areas and might look and act the same, but all monsters have a chance to evolve and grow into something more, each area only allowing a set number of evolved monsters. So far, not much is known about the actual combat of the game or what the progression looks like. The beta was very limited, only there to show and tease to people what the very basic fundamentals of the game were. 

I just so happen to own a fairly high end VR-Pill. That is what the VR system is called. It’s a lot like a tanning booth in that you lay down in it but you are entirely enclosed inside. It’s a big oval with a glass window dome showing your upper torso and head. There are no connections needed inside the pill. Once enclosed inside, the VR-Pill redirects your brain into the machine and into the main menu you go. 

Initially, I had planned to play on launch day with my Fiance at the time, but… well now obviously that’s not going to happen. Peering out from underneath my pillow, I look at my clock. Three more hours until launch. Half of me wants to be bitter and say fuck the game since it was something my Fiance and I had looked forward to. But another half of me wants to quit this shitty life of mine and start somewhere new. In a place where everyone is starting new. 

Turning back over, I tell my VR-Pill to set an alarm for two and a half hours from now. 

I’m going to escape this life and create a new one for me.

One where nobody stabs me in the back. 

~