I was born many years ago by any accounting. How many exactly I’ve long since stopped caring to count. My mother survived my birth only long enough to give me the name Parai. My father later told me the name was from a night spirit she believed would protect me when the world was dark. My father spent a lot of time away after that, trying to provide his son with a good life, or so he said. I think he was trying to escape the memory of who caused his wife’s death. I’m not completely sure he ever forgave me that.
A neighbor and business partner of my father’s raised me, mainly in my father’s absence. He and his wife managed the books and the small warehouse the three of them owned. My father delivered the goods to the various markets around the world. I, myself, once old enough to know its importance, guarded the warehouse at night with their daughter. By this, I mean that once we both turned twelve we would sneak from the house and sleep on mats in the warehouse floor. Every morning Suze’s parents would wake us up and tell us it wasn’t safe to sleep there alone.
‘But we weren’t alone.’ Suze would say. ‘We were with each other.’ She would then point out how there had been no problems with the warehouse since we began our watch. She countered their concerns for our safety with my guardian spirit. Every problem they had, she would answer one after another. She always was the smarter of the two of us. Finally, they gave up when we were fourteen and built us rooms connected to the warehouse itself. Even paid us a few coppers a week for our vigilant watch. We still failed miserably at staying awake the whole night but the danger that something could happen and the increasing awareness of who we were alone with helped.
A few months later we had our first true adventure. Suze and I were awakened by the sound of breaking glass. The two of us looked at each other, pale and frightened. The sound of people moving around below us brought us to with a start. They were trying to rob us and it was our job to stop them. We snuck downstairs quiet as mice and tried to see our enemies. Both men were tall, muscular types, one with black hair and the other blonde. They carried large sacks slung over their shoulders and were bleeding from a few cuts on their arms and legs.
‘I think we lost ‘em.’ Said one to the other.
‘Good. Damn guard nearly got me neck with dat crossbow. Who sez there gots to be four guards in one Tavern anyway?’ The blonde dropped his sack to the ground and began looking over his wounds.
Suze, though, had expected something like this to happen eventually. She set traps around the warehouse for us to use on intruders. Her personal favorite was the sandbags she tied to the ceiling. One tug of a rope would send a heavy bag hurtling downward onto anyone unfortunate enough to be standing where it was aimed. With a slight twinkle in her eye that tried to hide the fear also there Suze moved off towards one of the ropes. Seeing which thug she intended to hit I moved opposite to her choosing a rope for myself.
Suze’s eyes met mine in the darkness above the two villains and we shared a smile. At some signal somehow both of us knew we pulled our ropes. We heard the bags fall and crash to the ground. Suze leaned forward to see if our targets were down.
‘You! Girl! Whatcha do ta Dunc?’ The voice froze my heart in my chest. The plan hadn’t worked and one of the men was climbing his way up towards Suze. Her eyes had turned wild, like a trapped animal’s as she looked for a way to escape. The man pulled a dagger from behind his back as he climbed. I looked around for something, anything that could help. I spotted a crate load of apples that were awaiting delivery in the morning. I tore open the top of the crate and started throwing the fruits.
The first two missed the man completely but the third found its mark. It collided with the man’s shoulder and loosened his grip on the crates he was scaling. His head turned to look for his other assailant. I threw another of the hard apples and it hit him dead in on in the forehead. The man’s eyes glazed over briefly before his grip went slack. He fell soundlessly into the crates below him. I scrambled over to Suze to see if she was all right. It was then that the town guard arrived. Apparently, they had been banging on the door a while but we hadn’t heard them in all the excitement. The two unconscious thieves were the subject of endless questions. No one would believe two fourteen-year-olds knocked them out. They kept asking us who helped us when they broke in.
‘He said he was called the Falcon.’ Suze finally told them. I looked at her in absolute shock but her eyes said play along. I couldn’t help wondering as I confirmed her story though; if her last plan nearly got us killed. Where would this one end up?
The Falcon quickly became the town legend, protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves for ages untold. Suddenly everyone had seen or knew someone who had seen the Falcon doing some heroic deed. Suze, in the meantime, did nothing but encourage them. She made me an outfit, complete with feathers, so no one would recognize me. We then let the Falcon be seen around town. People began to associate Suze and myself with the Falcon. After all, if anyone told us of trouble he would show up there soon afterward. The strange part was, that everyone was suddenly on their best behavior. Whispers of ‘Be careful, Falcon is watching’ and ‘The Falcon can see you’ replaced tales of trolls and ogres used to scare children. This quickly developed into a problem, though.
A few of the neighborhood toughs decided they could beat Falcon. Knowing that I was such a good friend of his they decided to tie me to a chair and wait for him to show up. No one in the town so much as lifted a finger to help me. They all just shook their heads in pity at what Falcon would do to them. If they only knew!
As night arrived a heavy fog rolled in. To this day I have no idea where the fog came from but without it, I’m not sure Suze nor myself would have survived. She showed up shortly after the fog, dressed in the outfit she had made for me. As she walked out of the fog towards us she looked every bit the avenging spirit Falcon was supposed to be. She demanded my release in a voice that echoed throughout the area. All she got in return from the three thugs was laughter.
I remember my breath catching in my throat as the boys moved to attack her. She moved as if she weren’t real. Kicking out at all their vital spots before they could react and knocking them to the ground. In a flash she was behind me, cutting at my ropes. Her breath came in frightened gasps as she watched the three pull themselves off the ground. The rules had changed, though, for now, they faced the both of us. We moved around as if we had one mind, keeping to the thicker areas of the fog till we were ready to strike. Suze would run in with a lightning-fast kick to their knee or groin. Then, while they reeled in pain, I would hammer them with my fists. It was that night I truly realized something I should have known all along. I was never the Falcon... it took the two of us to bring the legend to life. We left the three of them where they lay with a simple note on the chair where they had kept me. ‘The Falcon Watches.’
We shared our first kiss that night. We stood on a hill overlooking the town. I wanted desperately to scream at her, tell her how foolish it was to risk her life for me. She turned to me and before I could do much of anything she kissed me. It was the softest, sweetest kiss I ever experienced in my life. So full of innocence and wonder that I can’t begin to describe it here. I stood there numbed after she pulled away.
‘S-Suze...’ I stammered out after a moment.
‘Yeah?’
‘Thanks for coming to get me tonight.’ We looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Everything had changed but it felt somehow... right. We fell asleep together in the grass soon after. The adrenaline fading and leaving us too exhausted to go home. We awoke huddled in each other’s arms from the cold. I smiled at the realization she was so close to me and shook her gently awake. She stretched against me, slowly opening her eyes. We lay there without speaking for the longest moment, finding no need for words.
When we returned to town we told everyone just what they wanted to hear. The battered thugs corroborated the whole story and added to it with their descriptions of how Falcon seemed to be in more than one place at the same time. The guard was going to put them in the town jail for kidnapping me but everyone agreed they learned their lesson the hard way already.
At age sixteen I left town to become a warrior. I had become determined to play my part in the family business and make my living at it. I also was going to ask Suze to do the same at my side. For two years I trained in the king’s army to learn the sword. We agreed that while I was gone she would help Falcon put in token appearances. That way no one would forget about him. Two long years of wondering if Suze was safe... if she was thinking of me.
The lessons I learned in the army were difficult ones and my teacher was a harsh taskmaster. He seemed to know how hard you could work, and if you didn’t work precisely that hard he had many painful ways to tell you. I learned quickly that I would have a hard time overpowering the larger boys. This lesson was made ever more clear whenever I tried and ended up flat on my back for the effort. So I decided to take a lesson from Suze’s book and move quicker than they did. Every time they tried to hit me I wouldn’t be there. Then I would have an easy target as they recovered. In a matter of months our armsmaster, who insisted we call him simply Tully, had me facing off against two or even three opponents at once. A little over a year into my training Tully began teaching me separately from the rest and I helped him with newer recruits. It was about that time we began hearing talk of war.
A small skirmish between two towns had escalated towards full-blown war. The king’s soldiers were being sent to keep the peace. The barracks became a madhouse. Some of the recruits were excited about battle, others frightened and still others left outright. Tully explained we wouldn’t be sent in unless absolutely necessary and even then not till our training was done. My fellow students decided they were going to enjoy their last few months and went into town every night. At first, I went with them... gambling, drinking, women, it was all there. Nothing, though, came close to those moments I had spent with Suze. The women I met, their eyes seemed dead and distant. None of them had that spark that pulled me to her.
As time went by I spent more and more nights alone in my room writing to Suze. I told her how I missed her, how proud I would make her when I returned, and, now that I knew the truth, how much I loved her. Those last six months went by in a blur and then we were called to the war. I carefully packed my bags with the others but had no intention of joining them. I was finally going home. When we marched from the king’s castle I kept with the line till we were out of the sentries sights. Then I slipped out of the line and headed into the forest. I stopped short when I saw Tully waiting for me there.
‘I’m not going, Tully. I have business elsewhere.’
‘I know.’ Those two words from him spoke volumes. ‘I wouldn’t want to cross swords with you to get ya back anyway. I figured those letters of yours were going to someone special. Way I see it, you got a better reason to leave than most of the others have to stay. You have to understand though, if they catch ya they’ll kill you as a deserter...’
‘It doesn’t matter, I only came to learn the blade...’ Tully stopped me with a raised hand.
‘As I was saying... if they catch you they’ll kill you as a deserter if ya don’t have one of these.’ He held out a scroll to me. Without even looking I knew it was a legal discharge. ‘I was young once too. You got a good heart in you but this war holds nothing for it.’ With that said he walked straight past me to rejoin his comrades.
‘Take care Tully.’ It was all I could say to the man.
It took me two weeks of dodging army encampments to get home. I walked into town with a broad smile. I couldn’t wait to tell Suze how much I loved her to her face. Most of the town was strangely empty, though. I learned from one of the stragglers everyone was at the cemetery. Something died inside me when the man told me who had died... Suze.
I ran to the cemetery, not believing the man’s words. I saw Suze’s parents weeping over the grave and I knew it was true. My knees went limp and I collapsed there on the ground, my body racked with sobs. I don't know how long I lay there, consumed by my grief. I stumbled to her grave and knelt by her side. I ran my fingers across the grave’s lettering but couldn’t see it. All I could see was Suze’s face; bright with anticipation on the day I left. She had been so happy for me.
It didn’t take me long to learn what had happened. The war was taking its toll here as it was everywhere. A deserter from one of the armies arrived one night and tried to rob Suze’s parents in their home. The Falcon showed up and attempted to scare the man away. The soldier, not being from that area, showed no fear and attacked. His sword passed right through Falcon, apparently having no effect. The man ran away and the Falcon gave chase.
They found Suze the next morning. She was alone, in her room without any of her clothes on. She had bled to death from a stab wound in her stomach. They were holding the man trying to prove he killed her. The soldier, however, claimed he never saw any girl and that the only use his sword got that night was on the spirit that attacked him. I, of course, knew the missing piece of information that let everything make sense. Although to imagine Suze bleeding from her wound as she stumbled home, thinking not to let anyone see Falcon die, I had to close my eyes to keep from being overwhelmed.
The man who killed her was still in town... and alive. The thought changed my grief to a burning anger. I went back to the warehouse and found the costume where Suze had hidden it. A great hole in the middle confirmed my suspicion of what had happened. I put on the costume and headed for the prison. Sneaking past the guard was easier than I thought it would be. I made my way back to the cell where the man was kept. He was asleep but my opening the cell brought him awake. His eyes focused on the bloody hole in the costume’s stomach before going wide with fear.
‘I-I thought you were dead!’ I walked towards him slowly, enjoying his heightening fear. I told myself that I was making him feel what Suze had felt... helpless, knowing death was coming soon. With patience, I still cannot believe I placed my hands one on his chin, the other on the back of his head. The man’s struggle ceased as he accepted the inevitable. I almost think he gave in to the guilt of what he had done. A quick twist and it was over. The soldier’s body dropped to the floor. The Falcon had taken its first life. I dropped a note on top of him, a bit of Suze’s melodrama taking hold of me. It said ‘The Falcon watches eternal.’ I left town that night. I went up on the hill where Suze and I first kissed and burned the Falcon costume. No one would ever learn the truth about Suze and myself. It was best that way.
I found my anger hadn’t abated with the death of Suze’s murderer. My rage flowed to a new victim… The war and the country that spawned such an evil. I joined Tully and the rest of my squad on the front lines. I was met with a joyful reunion from the men and many concerned looks from Tully. I always thought that old man knew much more than he ever let on.
In my very first battle, I made a name for myself. Crying out Suze’s name I charged headlong into the enemy. My sword moved at the speed of thought as I battled with a reckless abandon that frightened many who saw it. I didn’t care if I lived or died as long as I made them pay. I believe that if I had given myself time to think about what I was doing I would have understood my father much earlier than I did. We both lost the person we loved most in the world and felt helpless to prevent it. Then we felt a complete irrational anger... rage that existed simply for the sake of itself. My father realized what was happening and went away from his hatred, trying to calm it. I embraced mine and fed it with whatever fuel I could find. At the end of each battle, I would feel nothing but cold. The bodies piled around me meant nothing. I would return to my tent whether injured or not and sleep. The cuts would kill me or they would heal. I was daring death to take me before I was finished.
After a time the battles proved not enough to slake my anger. At night I would sneak into the enemy’s camp and kill the officers not involved in the battle. At each of these, I would leave Falcon’s calling card. The enemy began to show signs of fatigue from then on. Dark circles under the warrior’s eyes from lack of sleep wondering if they were next. As Parai I told my superiors I knew Falcon and could get messages to him. It soon became a regular routine, they would tell me whom Falcon should kill and I would kill them that very night.
I’m almost sure Tully knew the truth about what was going on. Every time he looked at me it was as if he were looking at a stranger. Then one day he stopped me as I was leaving the camp and told me something I’ll never forget: ‘When you hate with as much heat as you do, you burn away your very soul.’ I laughed at him then but it was true. I was no longer human, just a vessel for hatred, but what use did I have then for a soul?
We won the war a year later. A massacre of larger size has never been reported. The king’s guard instead of keeping the peace between the two nations crushed both armies underfoot leaving a destroyed land behind. Only afterward did I look and see the blood on my hands. I had become nothing but a killer... an assassin. I looked to Tully and saw him walking away from me, shaking his head. I remember thinking that if this world made me into a killer then a killer I would be.
The first town I could find I settled down in. I used my pay from the army to buy a small house. I didn’t have enough money left to buy furnishings but the floor was comfortable enough. For the next few weeks, I scouted around the area, making contacts in the local guilds and such. Soon after, using Parai to handle the business end, I hired Falcon out as an assassin. It didn’t matter what the job was, if you paid me it would be dead the next day... sons killing fathers, sisters killing brothers, mothers killing sons... the political environment allowed me to thrive in my new business.
It didn’t take long for me to develop a reputation. Soon my name was right up with Darkness, Deathmasque, and Black Orchid. There were even stories of Falcon killing a dog when a neighbor paid him with a complaint that it wouldn’t stop barking. Parai’s name was also in the stories but I learned from my mistakes. I let it be known far and wide that Parai was merely the latest in a series of partners to Falcon. The others had been kidnapped and killed in an effort to catch Falcon in a trap. Never once did Falcon ever attempt a rescue in these stories. I made it seem that I had many associates waiting to take Parai’s place should he die. It was the perfect way to hide out in the open with no danger to myself.
Whenever business got slow I would sell the house I was in and move to a different town. Whatever money I didn’t need I would put into a new restaurant or donate to the bardic guild. I had honestly gotten to the point of killing just for killing and had almost forgotten Suze and how all this began. Life doesn’t let you forget lessons like that, though.
My reminder came during one of those times when I was looking for work. An explosion of peace destroyed any chance of making a living by assassination. I packed up my things and left within the week. I headed out to a secluded tavern on Mitia. I heard the news about political turmoil in the area and it seemed promising. The Tavern, for that was all it was known as was a meeting place for many rival guilds. These meetings rarely remained peaceful.
I kept a low profile for the first few days. I played the part of a wandering merchant as I familiarized myself with the locals. It was then that I saw something that threw my life in a completely different direction. A woman who went by the name of Aniya argued with a pair of darker-looking folk. Normally this wouldn’t catch my attention but as I glanced up I saw Suze standing in front of me. She had that playful look on her face she always got before she let me have it with another of those plans of hers. She winked at me once and the image faded... only Aniya and her two cohorts remained.
I found out later that Aniya was the leader of an evil guild called the Hawks. I approached her as Parai and expressed my ‘associate’s’ interest in joining. The ritual I underwent I am not allowed to reveal due to guild secrecy but I can say that it involved me dying and being reborn anew, and not metaphorically. After I was officially in I asked Aniya to dinner. I took her to one of the restaurants I owned part of and we spoke for the majority of the night.
Walking home I still wondered what this woman had to do with me. She certainly wasn’t evil that was for sure. I don’t think she had it in her to be. Then again the same had been said about me long ago. Perhaps I was being given a chance at redemption. I had long since become the evil that Suze died trying to prevent and maybe by helping Aniya see the good in herself I would be able to reclaim a bit of my own back. Sadly, I never got the chance to test my theory.
As I was standing there on the street I felt a tearing sensation in my stomach as the world tilted wildly around me. I must have blacked out because when I woke up again I was in a cell. The analytical side of my mind paid no attention to why I was there but instead focused on how to get out. Around me were other cells filled with a strange assortment of people and creatures. After several futile attempts to do such impossible feats as bending the bars apart, I decided to learn as much about my surroundings as I could. A man named Bryce who shared a cell with his sister informed me we were the guests of a mage named Castalon. This mage had taken it upon himself to fix all the problems in the world.
This sounded good to me until he began using his methods on me. The mage was trying to force me to choose one person to be. Either my good, wholesome Parai nature or the darker Falcon would remain, not both. To this end, he used fire, cold, electricity, and mind tricks to force my choice. At the same time, he conducted ‘emotional experiments’. He would set any number of traps and allow one of us to escape. Once recaptured he would convince us of a lie such as Aniya being dead and the guild desperately needing me and allow our escape again. He seemed fascinated with how emotion drove people and somehow we always believed his lies. At last, I learned that the escapes themselves were traps and chose to no longer participate in his games.
He left the cage unlocked one morning, likely full expecting me to attempt escape. I didn’t move. I lay still trying to appear as if I had died in my sleep. Soon Castalon appeared in my cell but something seemed wrong. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Then I had it, his breathing. I couldn’t hear his breathing... the silence that so often marked the end of my job was constant here. He was an illusion... I remained still. Eventually, the mage vanished and reappeared, entering the cell with me. This time it was right and I struck.
I stood over his unconscious form and I found I couldn’t bring myself to kill him. Maybe it was the fact that he entered the cell out of concern for me or perhaps that in his dementia he actually believed he was helping people. I told the others that he was dead and opened their cages. Together we ran for the portal that we thought led home. With the mage in no shape to control them, the traps fell easily before our combined strength. We leapt together into the portal hoping that it would lead to a better place.
The fire inside the portal felt like it was stripping the flesh from my bones. Everything told me I had fallen for another of the wizard’s tricks. I welcomed the pain at that point. I wanted death.
‘Don’t you know you’re not allowed to die until I tell you?’ I looked for the source of the voice and saw Suze standing over me. ‘You’ve still got a lot to do Parai so get on your feet.’
‘Suze... you’re dead.’
‘You’re not. I shouldn’t have to point these things out to you. You’re a smart boy and you should figure these things out yourself.’
‘Where are we?’ I looked around as I got to my feet.
‘My home. See... I didn’t really die... I wasn’t ever really alive.’
‘What do you mean? Suze, this doesn’t make sense.’
‘I thought your father explained it to you. When she died, your mom asked us to watch over you. When you could take care of yourself I had to go back. I didn’t want to but they made me.’
‘You mean you’re a spirit?’
‘Yup, and I never really left you. I still had a job keeping you safe.’
‘You saw?’ All the things I had done came back to me. ‘Maybe it would be better if I didn’t go back.’
‘You can’t stay, Parai. You’re not done with life... or maybe it’s not done with you. We’ll be together again. Promise. But now you have to go.’
As suddenly as it started I was falling again. I hit the ground hard and sunk into oblivion. I woke to see Aniya and others tending my wounds and I couldn’t help but smile. I healed from death’s door quicker than any anticipated though whether the mage had something to do with that or Suze I have no idea. Two years had passed since my one night with Aniya and now she was engaged. She said she could still find use for a dried-up ex-assassin so I stayed with the no-longer-evil Hawks. Aniya found the good inside her and I found at least a piece of mine.
I’m writing this now to try and keep Castalon’s lies separate from the truth. The whole time in his dungeons left me rather disoriented. As hard as it is to admit, though, the mage did help me. I told Aniya that Parai died on the other side of the portal. I was sure long ago when I first became Falcon where this path would lead. I’m no longer sure where I’m headed. There is one thing I am sure of though. The Falcon lives again... and I am watching.