Chapter 2 - Dungeon SNAFU

In an unknown land, of an unknown region, of an unknown world, a tiny, nearly transparent grain of earth fell from the heavens. Well, the inhabitants of this world saw it as a meteor at first. They watched in fear as the mass of fire and earth charged through the sky with a thunderous roar. 

Their homes shook, windows shattered, and panic spread like wildfire during a decade long drought. Some were thrown onto their backs from the sonic boom when the meteor exploded in the atmosphere, and burned away into seemingly nothing.

All that remained was a single grain, leaving not even a crater in its wake. It was here, in this unknown land, that life as they knew it changed forever.

World Announcment: New Species Detected! Hello World!

A new species has been introduced into your world.

This species is the Herald of a New Age! 

Whether this new age is prosperous, or a complete disaster will be decided by you all.

The Age of Adventure has begun.

Thus, the Original Dungeon has been released unto the world!

Good Luck!

Riots ensued across the globe while governments rushed to gather any information on what this ‘Original Dungeon’ intended on doing to their lives. Every sentient species in the world received the message in one way or another, except one.

The newly born dungeon core rested on the dirt at the base of a tree in complete darkness. Not even the smallest insect took notice of this grain of earth.

I woke up with a head pounding headache, and groaned unhappily. I felt conscious but was surrounded by darkness. Suddenly, blue boxes appeared in my view, nearly blinding me with its pale light.

Notice: New Title Received Original Dungeon First of your species in existence of the known cosmos.

Notice: New Title Received Herald of Adventure All sentient species will be compelled to seek you out.

I read and reread the announcements several times over.

“Awesome!” I shouted.

“Finally, I will have a fulfilling life, full of adventure and strife. No more ‘same shit, different day’ job. Every day will be worth a thousand lifetimes.” I said to myself.

“Adventurers and creatures will be naturally drawn to my dungeon to meet their doom. I better start my preparations right away to greet them properly!” I said and laughed maniacally.

“Status!” I shouted, trying to mimic those web fiction novels.

Original Dungeon Other Titles Herald of Adventure, Suicide, Corrupted Soul, Owner of the Divine,  of  Body Dungeon Core Error - Corrupted Data This species has the innate ability to refine ambient mana. Skills Language Comprehension (Passive) Error - Corrupted Data Easier to comprehend all written and spoken languages. Higher levels decrease learning time, and increase retained knowledge upon reincarnation. Mana Refinery (Passive) Error - Corrupted Data The ONLY innate skill of the Dungeon Core species. Ambient mana is absorbed into the dungeon core, circulated throughout the core, and then released back into the environment at a higher quality. Higher levels increase absorbed amount and increase circulation to produce higher quality. Cannot store mana. Bound Familiar (Passive) George Divine Chair in God’s office that is ‘divinely comfortable’. Assists with tempering of the soul. Owner is summoned to the Chair upon death. Cannot be summoned. Undine House Brownie chosen by God to be bound to your soul. Will maintain and defend your residence. Cannot be perceived without a special sense. Always summoned.

“WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN ONLY SKILL!? How in the hell does Mana Refinery have anything to do with Dungeons!? I can’t even control or store the mana I absorb! AND WHY THE FUCK IS THE CHAIR’S NAME GEORGE!?!” I shouted angrily.

Then, I felt a sudden bang upside my head and tried to look for my attacker. There is nothing around me. No, that is wrong. I can certainly feel something against my body but I cannot see it. I cannot hear it. I cannot smell it. I cannot even taste the air in my mouth.

I laugh at that thought since Dungeon Cores should be a stone, gem, or something like that. Of course I don’t have a mouth…or ears…or nose…or eyes… It was at this moment that I realized that I am the very embodiment of blind, deaf, and dumb. I try to calm myself down and remember how the web fiction stories went.

“That’s right! They replicated those senses through mana! That’s what I have to do!” I say to myself in relief.

I try to reach my mind out to the one sense I have left, touch, to search for this substance called Mana. I focus as hard and long as I can to try to feel anything moving, anything there besides the constant pressure. I am assuming that pressure is the ground. I certainly don’t feel like I am floating like in some of those stories. Another bang is felt against my head, or at least it feels like my head.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“Hey! Quit your shit you jackass!” An unknown voice scolded.

I try to look around, and panic sets in as I start to think that I am already found by adventurers.

“God! Why this idiot!? He doesn’t even realize who I am!” The unknown voice seemed to say to itself.

“Hey jackass, I’m talking to you!” It continued.

“Wait, I’m the jackass!? Who the fuck are you!?” I responded.

“This moron doesn’t even know his own familiars. I’m Undine, the unluckiest house brownie in the cosmos, apparently.” Undine said introducing herself.

“What the fuck crawled up your butt?” I shouted back while trying to figure out how we are even communicating.

“I’m using telepathy, you moron. I’m in this bad mood because you badmouthed George. That Chair is the only reason you still exist. Suicides are usually wiped out, reformatted, recycled. It’s the only way to save the soul from the corruption. However, you survived because George was bound to you, so don’t go badmouthing him!” Undine scolded me and followed up with another slap upside the head.

“Ok fine, calm the fuck down. I can’t even see you, so stop hitting me.” I responded.

Silence continued for a while as I tried to figure out what to do next. I tried expanding my mind, so to speak, to feel the mana around me to try to control it, but nothing worked.

“Undine, you there?” I asked.

“What do you want?” She responded.

“How can I perceive the world around me through mana?” I continued.

“You can’t. You are just a Dungeon Core. All your body can do is refine the ambient mana.” She said matter-of-factly.

“When you were human and could breathe, did you consciously control your body's intake of oxygen? Sure, you could breathe in and out, and even hold your breath for a small amount of time, but you could not dictate the cells in your lungs pulling in the oxygen molecules and expelling the carbon dioxide. You only breathed in and out and your body did the rest. You could not 'will' where the oxygen got distributed, such as to an organ, muscle, or even general area. The blood carried it throughout your body without conscious control, nor could you ever consciously control it.” She explained.

“'Mana Refinery' is basically the circulatory system of the dungeon core. It is how you breathe in a sense. The amount absorbed can be considered relative to your surface area. The circulations through the body can be best described as the same process for distilling liquor. The gaseous liquor enters into the top of the funnel, rotated around and around, being condensed and refined to the point it flows out the other end of the pipe as a liquid. It is a one way system without any sort of cap or storage. The dungeon core body itself is a filter that only allows mana to enter and exit the system.” She further described.

“What the hell does that have to do with dungeons then!?” I shouted, not being able to take much more of this farce.

“The refined mana your body releases back into the world begins to change the environment. Think of it as radioactive contamination. The more exposure, the more it mutates. The ground will begin to get enriched, dead soil will start to perform like miracle grow. The foliage will grow faster and more plentiful. Wildlife will grow stronger and more abundant.” She said.

“I don’t see how that translates into being a dungeon.” I said doubtfully.

“Let me finish asshole. After enough time passes, there will be only refined mana around you, and you will refine the already refined mana. The mana will build up, eventually turning trees into trents, insects into disastrous swarms, wildlife into monsters. The mana from the ground will seep into the dead, buried or otherwise. Skeletons, zombies, all manner of undead will begin to rise and walk again. When the mana becomes thick enough, even the memories of the dead will begin to manifest into ghosts and shades.” She said without emotion.

“That certainly sounds Dungeon like, if you forget about traps, customized mazes and floors, oh and the most important part where NONE OF THEM WILL OBEY ME!” I said loudly and sarcastically.

“There was a reason why it only cost 1 RP.” She said.

Suddenly, I felt like I was being lifted and carried somewhere.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Somewhere I won’t lose you among the rest of the dirt.” She said coldly.

“What does that mean?! Wait! How big am I? I can’t get a feel for my size without sight!” I said in a panic.

She signed and said “About the size of a grain of sand. Don’t worry, as time goes on you will build up layer upon layer naturally as your body circulates more mana. You can check your growth in your Status. It is comparable to your body’s level.”

I opened my status one more time to check and then said meekly “Um…it says ‘Error- Corrupted Data’ where I assume it should have a level. Same for my skills too.”

She stopped walking and started laughing hysterically for what felt like a lifetime. Being left with only a vague sense of touch really distorts your biological clock. I can’t feel warmth or cold, only pressure. I’m not even sure what substance my body is made out of.

I’m a dungeon core, but I can’t create a dungeon of my own free will. My body just seems to do it naturally by existing. I can’t practice magic or any other skills. I can’t even communicate with others unless they are a telepath, and they still have to talk with me first. I’m certainly not a telepath.

I’m truly in the dark abyss of hell. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised, I am a suicide after all.

“Don’t worry too much Original Dungeon, the mana refinery will gradually assist with repairing your corrupted soul.” Said another voice.

I thought for a minute before responding “Thanks George, I owe you a lot this time.”

“Ah, so you do recognize my voice.” Said George.

“Well, I figure only you and Undine can talk with me while I’m like this. Process of elimination.” I answered.

“They are not the only ones who can converse with you, Child.”

I stared at that blue screen until Undine informed me that we had arrived, not that I could see where that was.

I sighed to myself and thought “I guess I’ll just have to ride this out until my next reincarnation… WAIT!!! Can I even die with this body!? HEY! Undine! George!! GOD!!! Somebody answer me!!!!”