I sat there blankly for a moment, not even noticing when the results of the
Before I understand how I will react now, I realize how I would have reacted a few days ago. I recently became much more stable, but I certainly would have viewed this as a betrayal in the past. I would have gotten mad. I would have shunned her. I would have lost a friend.
The very friend who helped to pull me out of that hopeless and childish state.
I understand that that isn't how I want to react now. I care about Fiara. I don't want to lose her. Whether she knew it herself and intentionally hid it from me, or whether she knows as little as I did, I shouldn't be upset with her.
Fiara cares about me. I believe that. She’s done a lot to help and support me. And if she already knows what she is and wants to keep it hidden, she still nearly revealed herself by telling me things impossible to know, just to help me. If she doesn't know yet, she’ll probably feel lost and confused when she finds out. I have to be there for her.
I still think it's good to be selfish, but in order for my future self to have a friend, I should think of that friend first right now.
… I will tell her that I saw it.
“...And, I think, if we use the blood of people with different attributes, it might affect the efficiency of the spell, which leads me to why the Humans took to using magic cores instead,” Fiara frowned and tilted her head. “Chief? Are you listening?”
I came out of my thoughts, looked at her and shook my head. “Sorry, my mind was wandering.” I smiled sadly. “Would you explain it to me again, please?”
She sighed, but looked pleased. “Alright, from the top then.”
I listened earnestly and patiently while Fiara listed off various theories about how we could improve the materials with what we had on hand. If I paid close attention, every now and then, a fact was thrown in. “But nodes that completely insulate aren't as efficient as those simply made from a different Conductive material.” “Unfortunately, that particular Magic Beast went extinct.” “But we should be able to extract the ink from Digit flowers. Few know that they have the wind attribute in addition to earth.” I'd ignored it until now. But now that I've noticed, I can't un-notice it.
“...There’s a technique where you carve a pathway into the conductive node, but because they're difficult to make, it isn't used much. So, that’s why I think, the humans ran with that technique and just made a giant node to put their CSP in! It's really very clever, but the rarity of the material would make Magic Tools inherently uncommon. If we look for other examples, I think we would find some that used other interesting methods. Right, chief?”
She looked at me with sparkling eyes, like a child who knew the answer to a math problem. I reached over and patted her head. “It's a good theory. If I ever happen upon a magic core, I'll give it to you to experiment with.”
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Fiara looks ready to melt. Being praised for her thoughts and offered research materials seems to be the golden combination to make her happy.
“Hey, Fiara, there’s something I should tell you,” I say, pulling my hand away.
She looks at me with a small frown. “What is it, chief?”
I rubbed the back of my head. “There’s no way to say this without seeming rude. I used
“E-eh? Chief, that’s rude.” She tried to pass it off as a joke, but her face was draining of color and her smile was tense.
Did she know about it already?
“Yeah, sorry. Did you know Orcs feeling pain while hungry is genuinely listed as a curse? So harsh.”
“Ah, is that so?”
“And so, I happened to notice, while I was looking,” I looked directly at Fiara, who was trying to look anywhere else, “you seem to be a reincarnated Indigo.”
Fiara startled, and tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.
“Did you know about it?”
She nodded and sniffed.
“For how long?”
She didn't answer, and she was starting to tremble from being so close to tears. I sighed and pulled her into a hug, stroking the top of her head with one hand.
“Sorry. How can I say this? You aren't in trouble. I didn't bring it up to confront you, either. Because you're important to me, I didn't want to hide from you the fact that I knew.”
“I'm sorry,” Fiara tried to wipe her tears away, but they kept falling, so it was useless. “I know how sensitive you are about these things. I thought you would be really mad if you found out.”
“No, you did a good job. I wouldn't have reacted like this in the past.” I continued to stroke her head while she calmed down.
After some silence, she asked me, “Do you know about Indigos?”
“Yes, there were some other papers mixed in with these, so I learned a few things. They could travel between worlds, they made great progress as a society, they could speak directly with the spirits, they shattered a god and nearly destroyed the whole world.”
“Do you hate me for having been one?”
“No, I don't hate you.” Fiara broke out into tears again. “Hey, hey! I know I was bad before, but I wasn't that bad, right?”
Fiara tried to talk through her tears. “No, that’s because you don't have the W condition engraved for some reason, so I thought you would hate Indigos.”
“W condition? The texts mentioned it briefly, but what is it exactly?”
Fiara managed to stop crying. “It's a self defense measure the Indigos made. Basically, any soul that has it engraved will think of the Indigos in a positive light and wish for their return.”
I think I understand. The Indigos did some bad things, so the people of the world should naturally be wary of them. Not to mention, if they came close to returning, the Gods would probably order a genocide again. So it was to prevent that.
“And I don't have that? How can you tell?”
Fiara fidgeted, “Well, you know, right?”
No, I don't. Unless, “The mind seed?” She nodded. “I was under the impression it was a collection of memories and self, but can it still actively investigate things?”
“Yes. We can even hold conversations together.”
“Huh. So maybe more than a fragment, it's a literal mind seed meant to grow into a complete Mind.”
“Yes. It became able to do that after I evolved.”
“Interesting.” I placed my hand on my chin and mulled it over.
Suddenly, Fiara bowed to me. “Chief, I’m sorry. You told me right away when you peeked at my soul, but I hid it from you when I did the same.”
“No, no. You had your reasons. I don't blame you for it.” I waved my hand dismissively.
“But you already told me what you know, so I should do the same. I'm sorry, chief,” she looked ashamed, “without meaning to, I learned your secret.”
“My secret?” Wait? Did she find something else while examining my soul? If it's a secret, I can only think of that. Could she have really learned about that?! “Tell me what you know.”
“Yes. Chief,” she lifted her head to make eye contact with me, “you are the Orc Lord.”
Wohoo! Not that! … Wait, what did she say?