Chapter 11: Then She Interrogates

She tried to come home in time, but life had a good way of screwing with her plans. Nevertheless< now that she was back, she looked for Jude right away.

“Jude? I’m home.”

How odd, she thought. He wasn’t waiting for her - he wasn’t reading a book, he wasn’t writing some scribbles - like usual in the kitchen.

A sudden hand clenched her heart in its tight grip. Until now she had not realized how fun it was to come and see Jude eagerly waiting for her return. Seeing him worry, his face in panic, and then relieved as soon as his eyes landed on her smile.

Selfish it might be, but that selfishness made her feel so damn special.

She felt her eyes grew heavy as she lost her appetite. Her mind was not there; but something caught her attention. She detected movement behind her then a hand was placed on her shoulder. Thinking it’d be Jude, she spun around, smiling.

It was Jude indeed. She held his shoulder as she tip-toed then gave him a swift kiss on the cheek.

“Sorry if I’m late. Did you wait long?”

Her heart almost leaped into her mouth as she waited for his reply. But it wasn’t like she had expected. She heard him take a deep breath then strode past her and occupied a chair. He folded his hands on the table and stared into blank space.

“Did you eat yet?” he asked softly, but she knew he was masking his anger.

“I’m not hungry.” Not for food, she thought.

“Alright.” Jude stood up and carried her upstairs, back to their room.

Celes reclined her back against the window, conscious that she was still wearing her work uniform. He did say he liked it, and the vibrant memory made her giggle. What was more satisfying for a woman than to be told beautiful by the man she liked?

Jude made his way down to the foot of the bed, removed her shoes, and hid them underneath the bed.

“Just rest. I know you were standing all day.”

“Yes,” she murmured with a smile.

Jude sat down, resting his back against the wall and setting her feet on his lap. Tenderly, he pressed his fingers on the bottom of her feet, and she gave an audible moan as a response.

“Feels good?” asked Jude.

“Yes - oh my… Jude that feels so good.” She moaned again, like a girl helplessly in love.

He had worked his fingers all the way up to her toes, which he was rubbing individually. The sense of relaxation spread throughout her body like a flood. Other than her contracted spirit, no one had really touched her feet before yet the string of arousal that his fingers brought were more than sensational. But even these piles of emotions were not enough to distract her from the main point.

“Jude, I’m sorry.”

His poker face didn’t flinch. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I know I made you mad.”

“You didn’t. If it’s something, I’m mad at myself. I keep forgetting you have your own life to live too, and I’m taking that privacy away from you.”

Celes cringed at the deflated tone of his voice. “See? Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not—” She clambered onto his lap and took him by surprise. Celes wrapped her arms on his head and kissed him, long and wistful. Her tongue was in full attack mode. Jude responded, circled his arms on her hips, and pushed her closer.

She liked his arms around her, she liked his mouth on her - how could he mean so much to her in a short amount of time? They had only known each other a short time, but it was getting harder and harder to imagine life without him. Getting the sword of promise fixed was just an excuse now. She wanted nothing else but to be here, to be inside the comfort and security of his arms.

After she broke away, she clutched his face and stared into his deep, dark eyes. “I want to know more, Jude. I want to know every little detail about you.”

That was her friend’s advice after all. Start with getting to know him better first and the rest will come as they go. Don’t let him fool you and listen to his insecurities.

“Celes, you don’t want to know. I’m a big baggage of fuckedupness,” he said, making no move to shift her away from his lap.

She bit his lower lip before saying, “It just sounds like self loathing if I don’t hear the reason.”

“Nonetheless, I’ll keep my mouth shut.” As if he sensed her curiosity, Jude avoided her eyes.

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“If I do, you will run screaming and you’ll never want to return. And I don’t want to lose you, Celes.”

For the first time, she saw several walls surrounding Jude. He was more than defensive, yet that defensive nature just flamed her growing interest.

“But I want to know you more, Jude,” she persisted.

Jude ran a single hand through his hair and sighed. “Yes, you will. Maybe in time. Right now, I just… I don’t know.”

“You don’t want to lose me?”

“I don’t, Celes. I don’t. More than you could ever think of. I’d be damn lost without you.”

“Then why can’t you trust me?”

“Because I’m a sick person, Celes. You have no idea.”

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“If we sleep together, would you tell me?”

“What?”

“You heard me. I’m bargaining with you, Jude.” She lied. In truth, she could care less about all that. She wanted to do it with him too, but her pride wouldn’t allow her to succumb to her urges that easily.

“Don’t do this, Celes.”

“But I really want to know you, Jude.”

“Yes, but not in this way.”

“Why?”

“I just find it difficult to talk about my past. Especially to you. It brings unwanted memories in my head. My incapability, my weakness - all of it swirls like a big tidal wave.”

“Please, Jude, don’t keep me in the dark like this.”

“Celes, if there’s one thing this life had taught me, it is that I can kill anyone.”

She paused for a moment, shocked, bewildered even. “Meaning?”

“It means you need to let this conversation go, Celes. Please, don’t ask anymore.”

Celes looked away, feeling admonished. She feared his shifting moods. It showed her something was unstable inside of him, and that type of instability was dangerous.

“Forgive me, Celes.” He pressed his face into the crook of her neck and tightened his embrace. He breathed straight into her skin and she warmed up, almost to the point of melting. “ I’ve come alive since I met you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Her eyebrows shot up and her pulse quickened. She clutched onto his shoulders, relishing how intimately close they were to each other. Her friend was right after all. Guys like him just doesn’t know how to open up.

“Hey, Jude, my offer still stands,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“You know, if you haven’t interrogated me like this perhaps I’d more than stripped you by now. But I’m really tired, Celes. Let’s just sleep.”

“Okay.” She nodded with a smile.

Not stopping to waste any time, she stood up and threw her black dress overhead, leaving her dressed in nothing but her panties and undershirt stitched with laces. Jude reached out to her waist and pulled her back to bed, kissing her neck softly as they positioned themselves.

“So guys are more into cuddling than they let on?”

“Celes, we’re not some type of predator, you know. Though if I have to speak my mind, cuddling is harsh to men because of several things.”

“Like?”

“For example, this arm supporting your weight would be dead tomorrow morning. And…”

“And…?”

“It’s nothing.” She felt like there was more to it than he let on but decided not to pursue the topic.

Jude sought her hand under the pillow and squeezed. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled her scent like he usually do. Feeling his breath made her giggle in delight, and even more so when he pressed his lips on her ear.

“Not my ears, Jude. They’re very sensitive,” said Celes in a giggly tone.

Jude stopped and kissed her shoulder instead. “Why not? These are the prettiest set of ears in the whole wide world.”

“Yeah, keep flattering me.”

“My pleasure. I’ll tear you down with every chance I get.”

“It’s not working,” Her ears twitching in happiness belied her words.

“Oh, the irony is not lost in me,” said Jude mockingly.

“Jude, you know you can be a really big jerk if you want to.”

“That’s how I much I like you, Celes.”

His sudden confession made her frown instead. “By being twisted and sarcastic?”

“No, it means I enjoy witty conversations.”

“So I have a smart mouth?”

“Pretty much.”

“Then live with it. It’s my privilege.”

“When you put it like that, how can I disagree?”

“Jerk.”

“Sorry…”

“Hey Jude… I have another question I forgot to ask.”

“Goodness, you’re still not done?”

“You bet.”

“So what is it?”

“What do you think about Rune?”

“Rune?”

“The girl you talked to at the bar remember?”

“Oh, her…”

“And why do you sound so disappointed?”

“The better question is, can I not sound disappointed?”

“Why? You don’t like her?”

“Well, I find her very much like you. Much curious.”

“So you like her then?”

Jude sighed. “I can’t really say much since I was basically kicked out five minutes after my entry.”

“Liar, you left on your own volition.”

“There’s really no way for me to win this argument, huh?”

“I’m glad you were able to catch up on that.”

“And here I was supposed to be the sarcastic one.”

“Go to sleep.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that. Have a good night, Celes,” said Jude, kissing her nape.

“Goodnight, Jude.”

The fight was on. Jude was a slippery snake, but she would not stop shedding him until all of his secrets lay bare. Satisfied for now, Celes closed her eyes and drifted into the distant sea of dreams.