The diner was half-full, the room smelling of delectable cheese, freshly baked artisan sourdough bread and the slight tang of tomatoes. Blissful guests bit into crunching pizza crusts. A peaceful, happy scene.
Ring ring.
Ring ring.
A middle-aged human woman picked up the audio stone.
“Yes hello, welcome to Pizza Shrine, how can I help you?” she said to the glowing blue rock. “Yes, you’re in luck, we do deliver to the dungeon of certain doom today. No, she wasn’t in yesterday. … no, you listen here, she’s a minor. There are regulations about minors working overti- will you shut up, elf? You grown lads thought it was a great idea to go into a dungeon named 'certain doom', that's not on us. We're a pizzeria." ….. angry muffled screaming came from the audio stone. “Un-go there then if it’s such a bad place to be. I’m hanging up now.” Panicked muffled screaming. "See, basic politeness. Not so hard, yes? Now what will you order? … ok.. five calzone, a margarita, one fig jam special and a large bowl of pizza salad. Delivered to… the first floor of the Dungeon of Certain Doom... barricaded castle door. Wow, you’re really making no progress at that dungeon. Other jobs exist, you know. I’ll give them your order. Ciao.”
She hung up the audio stone and muttered something about the third time this month.
“Auria, sweetie! Your niche clientele is at it again!” she hollered across the room.
“Who is it now?” a raspy female voice called back. A human and a half-draconid was sitting at that table, and it was the human who answered.
“Oh, it’s that E-ranked adventurer party who always gets stuck on the first floor. That elf-guy-whatshisface.”
“Wow.”
“Yes. They’re not the brightest. Get ready to head out, Takeo has already started their order.”
“Alright then. See you when I get back, Lily.”
“Aaaw.” said the other young woman who sat at their table. She sported a draconic tail, a few scales in pastel pink and white, and a small crown of pink and white and gold horns that made Auria wonder how much of a hassle it must be to brush all that hair to golden shining perfection when they surely must tear up her hairbrushes, “Auria, why is it that when I’m free to play, you’re always busy?”
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“Because you’re almost always busy? Pure statistics?” Auria said with a smile and a shrug.
“... lame.” Lily sulked and continued to paint her tabletop figurines.
Auria cracked her neck. The soft smile on her face was replaced by a grim stare as she booted up her system interface.
Quest: A foolish adventurer party has ordered pizza from the Dungeon of Certain Doom. Finish your delivery before they perish. Accept?
Auria placed a hand on the handle of her rocker pizza knife scimitar and crossed the room for the counter. Guests who had been enjoying their pizza suddenly shuddered under the activation of her auras. Takeo, one of their pizza guys, placed a stack of pizzas on the counter. He didn’t say anything, just waved her goodbye with that usual tired expression before he headed back into the kitchen.
You may accomplish feats beyond your level, as long as it is while delivering pizza on scheduled hours!
Skills activated: [Pizza delivery OP:ness]! [Delivery Berserker]! [Lost Princess of the-
“Yeah, yeah.” she said and dashed out the door.
Their small hamlet disappeared in a blur. She passed by a cheetah running full speed in the same direction. She stopped at a red traffic light and impatiently tapped her foot until it switched back to green. She wove expertly through forest parkour trails and mountain passes while perfectly balancing her stack of pizza boxes.
Auria wasn’t the greatest or most famous OP cheat around these parts. But she was the only one who could balance pizza boxes all stylishly like that and they all had to admit it.
Finally she made it to the Dungeon of Certain Doom. She zoomed through the camp of hardened adventurers that had set up outside of it. Through the gaping cave entrance and into the cold and hollow darkness, deeper down those unhallowed stairs, down to where the floor began to be lit by magma. She kebabed great beasts that happened to stand in her way. They hadn’t done anything to deserve that. But the pizza must go on. And it was the smarter choice to clear the way for her retreat later.
At the back of the floor stood a great castle built of black stone. It was under siege; surrounded by a hoard of roaring minotaurs. Auria raised her pizza rocking knife scimitar. Left her own shadows behind as she danced through the air. Sliced beef with a seasoning of shredded crude leather armor fell in paper-thin sheets around her. A much bigger minotaur appeared and blocked the stairway that led up into the keep. He held an axe twice Aurias height.
“You’ve come again.” he growled. “This time.. THIS TIME!!! I SHALL END YOU, YOU PIZZA MENACE!” he roared and raised the axe over his head.
The axe fell… as paper-thin sheets of metal. Together with paper-thin slices of beef, all scattering in the soft breeze of Aurias wake.
A small fry boss of the small fry upper floors. The fate of canon fodder such as them was to become pizza ingredients. Hopefully some nice quality beef loot would drop, she could pick some up later when she was done here.
Finally she made it to the barricaded door. It was easy to find, because these guys always got stuck at the same place. She bullrished through the remaining minotaur on that part of the castle wall, and then kicked the door down.
Inside were several armored people who looked mightily messed up. Their armor was banged, clothes were stained with blood, and they looked like they hadn’t eaten in three days.
She sheathed her pizza rocker knife scimitar after flicking off the blood.
“Pizza delivery.”