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One Night At Granny's
A Batch of Cookies.

A Batch of Cookies.

“Vrax, Jaak, Roq, Xork! Northwest sector”

“Come on Chief, we just set up camp. Can’t we get a break?” Vrax complained.

“You know the rule, no work, no dinner. Get out and find something” the chieftain called out. 

Their leader didn’t even let Vrax respond, instead he marched through the encampment assigning roles. It was always a lottery system, the chief tried to be fair with the labor but nobody wanted to be assigned to the raiding party. If they were caught they could be jailed or executed. While the extreme cases were rare, they still had to be out all night. Unless they were really low on supplies, they would just scour the forest for an easy hit. Yet, they couldn’t disobey the chief. Packing their equipment, the four left the temporary encampment and went into their assigned region. 

“How long do you think we will stay?” Vrax asked the group. 

“Who knows, don’t care” Roq replied.

Goblins tended to live on the fringes of society. While some tried to integrate with the other races, it was always a struggle. As such, Most tended to gather into nomadic communes and raiding parties. While weak individually, they could easily conquer a township if the factions united. Vrax had only attacked a village once. It was a great time of feasting and revelry until the knights arrived. The groups scattered knowing that defending was futile. Since then, their tribe has laid low. They didn’t want the crown to come and wipe them out. Instead they moved deeper into the woods and stuck simplistic night raids. 

“So what's the plan Jaak? Vrax asked their squad lead

“Same thing as always, Find food, take food, get home” Jaak replied

Feeling the cold shoulder, the younger goblin dipped back slightly. His eyes glanced at Xork and his array of knives and picks. The rogue was perfect at finding weak points and could slip a lock in seconds. 

“Soo uhh, Xork any plans when we get back” Vrax tried to get some small talk going but was quickly interrupted.

“Just because there is silence, doesn’t me you have to fill it” Roq grunted

“Ahh come on big guy, just passing the time. Besides I didn’t ask you” Vrax scoffed at the larger man. 

Roq shook his head and went forward, match Jaak ahead. 

“What’s up with him” Vrax turned to Xork

“Don’t worry about him, he only cares about food and fighting. Thinking about buying a new set of picks. Only three still working” He held up a key ring filled with tiny metal tools. 

“Chief doesn’t just give em to ya?” 

“Naww says I have enough, want more.” 

As the two continued to chat, the sun began to set. The group began to get tense. Already the hours had passed and they had little to show. A few handfuls of edible berries and nothing else. If they didn’t get something good, the chieftain would put em on latrine duty for the next week. Most would rather die than clean out those rancid cesspits. 

“There!” Xork pointed 

In the distance was a beautiful elk. The creature casually grazing in the woodland, unaware of the goblins present. Seeing a chance to bring back fresh meat, they decided to hunt. Pulling out a knife, Xork began to flank to the side. Slowly, the group of goblins stalked their target. They had to get within throwing range and carefully move forward…

SNAP

Vrax stepped on a twig and the elk glanced up. The creature spotted the goblin and turned to flee. 

“GET HIM” Jaak called and they rushed forward. 

Xork tried throwing his knife but missed. Cruising the goblin chased after the elk doing his best to match the creature's speed. Yet it was far too late, the elk bolted into the darkness of the woods. 

“DAMMIT VRAX THIS IS WHY WE SAY TO PAY ATTENTION” Jaak was screaming at the younger goblin. 

“Fuck off Jaak, it was a honest mistake.” He retorted

“Vrax…” Jaak was seething. His friend just didn’t care about anything. Just assumed all would be fine, never thinking about his actions. Yet before he could admonish the man, Roq spoke

“Do you smell that?”

The four stopped and tasted the air. . 

“Meat…” Vrax exclaimed. 

Immediately, the group traced the source. As the smell intensified; they began to mask their presence in the foliage, their skin a natural form of camouflage. Even with their rumbling stomachs, they resisted the urge to rush. It could be a traveling patrol, a bandit encampment, or even a local festival. One wrong move and their group could be exterminated. Yet; as they closed in on the source, they hit the jackpot.

Peaking through the bushes, The four goblins observed an elderly woman cleaning her front porch. Each movement slow and methodical, her steps carefully calculated. Two gnarled hands grasped at the broom as she slowly swept dust from the porch. Her body was petite and hunched, the bones struggling to support the weight of life. The fields of wheat bowing and rustling from the gusting gales. She wobbled in the winds, the only support from the handle of her tool. As the chill receded, she briefly fixed the wispy hair. Placing the broom against the wall, she adjusted her blouse and pulled out an old rag. With care, she began to clean the front window. For a brief moment she paused and stared at the reflection. Inside her soul was a fiery spirit, yet the image was of a frail, elderly woman. Did her mother have these same thoughts? Still, something was cathartic about it. She had lived longer than most, seen so many sights and wonders. Yet now she could rest.

As the last bit of dust was removed from the glass, she crossed to her ricketty rocky chair. It was a family heirloom passed down between the generations. One of her great great grandfather’s built it out of local wood. She wasn’t sure if the material was original, it had broken many times but the various scars only added to the history. Carefully sitting, the ancient creation creaked and groaned. Back and forth she swayed, letting the fading sun warm her skin. Her cloudy eyes scanning the woods and savoring the beautiful summer sunset. A faint smell of charred meat drifting into her nose. Dinner was nearly complete and she would enjoy a nice roast before bed.

“Let’s off the hag and get back to camp” Vrax whispered

“Not yet, it ain’t night yet” Jaak replied

“What is she going to do? Hit us with a broom?” Vrax complained.

“Vrax you know the drill, we follow protocol no matter the hit” 

Jaak towered over the younger goblin. His body expanded as the muscles engorged with blood. An aura of authority emanated from his larger frame. He’d seen many comrades perish from greed or hastily made plans–Something Vrax had yet to experience. He could only hope the hot-headed goblin would see the fault of his actions. Yet Vrax didn’t stand down, instead he began posturing himself. Both staring intently at each other, a battle of wills between the old and young. Sensing an opening, Vrax took a step forward

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“fuu…”

SLAM

Roq grabbed the younger goblin and smashed him to the ground. 

“ARgu” he cried out lightly, the impact knocking the air from his lungs. 

His chest burned and the world was filled with stars. A croaking sound echoed from his throat as he gasped for air. Yet a heavy weight kept his lungs from expanding. His limbs clawed and grasped at Roq, but the brute didn’t move. Blood flushed his face and the world began to fade. Only when he was about to pass out did Roq pull back. His face leaning down and his hot breath wafting across the nose. The cracked lips parting into a single word.

“Listen” Roq kicked the smaller goblin across the ground. 

Roq glanced back at Jaak and nodded. Taking a seat, he pulled some jerky and casually snacked on the rations. He was on the verge of becoming a hobgoblin. One of the best fighters in their tribe but rarely had an interesting thought. Instead, he was happy following orders and keeping others safe. As he gulped down the last bit of meat, he looked towards the cabin. Hopefully the crone will have plenty to eat. After a few moments, Vrax arose and dusted himself. With his pride shattered, he rejoined the group and sat silent. Satisfied with the submission, Jaak laid out the plan. 

“Simple raid tonight, once granny passes out…we snatch and grab. Got the bags of hold?” Jaak asked

The others nodded and held out the sacks. He really didn’t need to say much, nothing of concern could be seen from their position. It was just a simple old human living alone on a farm. As the sun disappeared into the night sky, the group of goblins made their move. Each one slowly creeps through the field of wheat, careful not to reveal their presence. Standing a few feet from the house, they glanced into the window. The older woman sat at her table finishing up dinner. Once finished, she cleaned up the dishes and pulled out her dessert–A nice fresh batch of cookies. Making sure to sample the top, she left the rest out too cool overnight.  

“Perfect” Xork muttered

All four were salivating at the steamy treats. Sugar was a luxury for their tribe and moments like this made these raids worth it. It took absolute focus to not bust the window down instantly. Time seemed to slow as the woman carefully locked the doors and grabbed the half-melted candle. Once satisfied, she moved up the stairs leaving the main room in darkness. Yet still they waited. Only when the flickering light in the upstairs went out did the invasion begin. Xork casually picked the lock and slowly opened the door. With one glance, he made sure the room was truly empty and signaled the rest. 

Immediately they rushed the tray of cookies. The group fighting for sweet snacks and spilling crumbs across the floor. Jaak just sighed as the three fought for the treats. He was perfectly content eating a single cookie and scouting the rooms. He had to admit it was absolutely delicious, none could cook like this back at the camp. Each bite he slowly chewed, savoring the exquisite flavor as it coated the tongue. Only after a few moments would he then swallow. His bliss interrupted when the tray smashed onto the floor. 

The sound echoed in the room and all drew their weapons. All three stared at Vrax and he just shrugged. If that old cow came to investigate, they’d jump her. 

“Stay sleeping grandma. Don’t wanna do this” Jaak whispered to himself. 

Yet she never came, satisfied they were safe. They put their weapons away and split apart to scour the cabin. Vrax went towards the guest bedroom, cracking open the door he glanced inside. The room was quite standard, walking towards the dresser he began pulling out various garments. The material was good quality and the weavers back home could use this. Stuffing them into his back, he moved towards the side table. Opening the drawer, his eyes glistened with greed. Instead were various golden trinkets and jewels. His fingers delicately grabbed the chains and stuffed a few in his pocket. As he closed up the sack, he turned to leave. Taking a few steps, he felt a strange breeze on his neck. Looking back, the curtains were fluttering from an open window. 

But he didn’t touch the window. Instead he froze up and stared. He could have sworn it was closed before. Why would the hag leave it open? A feeling of unease began to creep into his brain. Naw it to be his memory, she probably had dementia or something and forgot to close it. Taking a few steps towards the exit, he felt two cold hands wrap around the throat. He tried to scream but all air was cut off. Within seconds he was gone. 

Xork and Roq decided to head to the basement. The musty room littered with cobwebs and the chittering of rats. As they reached the moldy shelves, they saw bags of grain, potatoes, and other veggies. Xork held the bag open while Roq loaded it up. 

“Roq, what do you think of this place?” He asked

“What ya mean?” He grunted

“I mean, this cabin. Who is tending the fields? That woman is too brittle to work a farm.”

“Hrm, don’t know don’t care” He muttered and continued to load up the sack. 

“Ya, but like…what about raiders. She should know about the night attacks but I see no guards. Our last ones had at least one guard at the farm…”

Roq paused and stared 

“Roq?”

“Roq??” 

Xork went to shake his friend only for the beefy goblin to fall forward, It was too late to dodge and he was crushed under the bulk. As he tried to push the larger goblin off, he saw some movement in the corner of his eye.

“JA…..”

THUNK

Jaak waited at the front for the others. What was taking so long? This was supposed to be a quick smash and grab. What could they have possibly found that took this long. Dropping his bag, he decided to go looking for the three. They were dumbasses but they weren’t stupid. Well maybe Vrax was…but the others he could trust. 

“Roq! Vrax! Xork” he called into the basement, but he was met with silence. 

Now he was getting frustrated. Did they just leave without him? They knew to meet back front. No that couldn’t be right, he had been in the living room the whole time. He’d see anyone leaving. Heading to the guest room, he searched under the bed, in the closet and even out the window. Suddenly, he heard a series of creaks and groans above. Did they go upstairs? Sighing, he turned back and carefully walked up the staircase. The hallway was so dark, even his sensitive eyes could barely see.  

“Stop messing around. Raids done we need to…” 

Jaak tripped and stumbled across the floorboards. As he tried to regain his balance, his muscles softened. His actions became sluggish as a growing weight pressed into his body. Something was very wrong, he had to get out. He tried to turn, but every step only amplified the strange feeling. The hallway began to stretch and spin, the hallucinations addeling the mind. 

“Rworack” He called out, but his words turned to mush.

He tried to stumble forward, the legs wobbling and knees buckling. Reaching out he grabbed the wall to stabilize, taking deep breaths to calm the mind. His eyes glanced along the floor until he saw what tripped him–Xork. A horrific sense of dread rushed through his spine and chilled the bones. For a brief moment all went still, his mind trying to process what he witnessed. Suddenly, a rush of adrenaline flooded through his veins and he took a few more steps forward. Pain shot through the nerves as he powered through whatever toxin coursed through his body. Yet it was futile, as he reached the edge of the staircase he collapsed. His body tumbling down the wooden steps and smashing against the ground. Everything hurt and he couldn’t move. At the top of the steps, he saw a hunched figure walking towards him then…

Jaak jolted awake as his lungs gasped for air. He tried to stand, but quickly found himself restrained to a chair. His arms were covered in bruises and a pounding headache rocked his skull. As his vision returned, only a single candle lit the room. The flickering light illuminating the kitchen and a fresh set of cookies laid out on the table. Glancing around, he saw his friends in the same position. Each one restrained to the wooden chairs. He went to scream but only a hoarse groan came out. 

Slowly, the others awoke. Each one panicking as they thrashed against the restraints. A soft mutter of curses and croaks filling the air. Their voices were stripped away by the poison. All They could do was stare and wait. The group went  still as the shadowy figure returned. The features revealed by the soft candlelight–Granny

“Oh it’s been years since I’ve had youngins visit my farm. I’m glad we can share this night together” She said sweetly. Her shriveled hand patted Xorq’s head. 

“I even baked you boys another round of my famous cookies! Would you like another?” The group turned their heads as she brought the snack to their mouths. 

“Now who taught you manners? Don’t you know not to disrespect your ELDERS” She tossed the cookie with such force that it shattered against Roq’s head. 

Slamming the plate down, she walked to the sink and began to wash her hands. 

“You know, my grandkids used to love playing hide and seek. It’s been so long since I heard their laughter. Can you boys play one game with granny?” Flicking her hands, she then dabbed the damp skin along a towel.

Xork was trying to undo the knots, Roq was flexing and trying to snap the rope, and the others were doing their best to signal to each other. They had to get out, this woman was crazy. 

“I’ll be the seeker and you youngin’s need to hide. If I don’t find you by morning, then we can keep this our little secret. I’ll even let you keep what you stole” She grinned and pointed to the various sacks against the wall. 

She waited for their response. 

“Oh silly me, I forgot to give the antidote.” she reached into her blouse and jammed a foul tasting pill into their mouths. 

The antitoxin was nearly instant, a renewed vigor flooding into them. Yet even with the newfound strength, none could break from the bindings. Her sinister grin only added to the humiliation of it all. Finally Vrax screamed. 

“Untie us CRONE and maybe I won’t slit that throat of yours!” His voice seething with hate. 

“Ohhh now sweetie pie don’t be like that. I just want to play a game….” She slowly walked over the cursing goblin. 

“Vrax apologize…” Jaak whispered, he knew this wasn’t not the time to antagonize their captor. 

“NO, if it weren't for this rope I’d have snapped her neck. Try me!” He was screaming and thrashing in the chair, the wooden legs scraping along the ground. 

“Oh my my, your parents must have taught you nothing” she replied and fumbled into the apron pockets. 

“SO WHAT! LEAST I STILL SEE EM. NO WONDER YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE. GIVE IT UP GRANNY, NOBODY LOVES YOU” 

That pushed her over the edge, in one smooth motion she pulled out a rusted cleaver and slammed it down onto the goblins wrist. 

“ARURHGHER…YOU FUCKING BITCH” Vrax screamed as he watched the severed hand plop onto the floorboards. 

Tears flooded down his face as he pulled with such force the rope cut into his flesh. 

“FUCK YOU SICK FUCK” He was having a full meltdown. 

“Gran he didn’t mean it. Let me out He is going to bleed out” Jaak was trying to reason with the woman. Anything to try and save his friend. 

Yet she just continued to play with the goblins' hair. Her fingers twirling through the skull as blood continued to spurt from the broken artery. His cries began to weaken as the bloodloss took its toll. 

“I’m going to kill you” Roq said with an intense stare. 

Granny just turned and lightly smacked him with a wooden spoon. 

“Shhh shhh calm down children. It’s just a little boo boo. Here…” She bent down and whispered. 

[[Granny’s kisses]] and planted her lips onto the bloody arm. 

Instantly, the skin grew over the gash transforming injury into a stump. All four went silent as they witnessed the skill. Once finished, she ruffled Vrax’s hair and continued. 

“I’ll go upstairs and count to 100. You boys can hide anywhere you want just make sure to stay on the farm. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt. Remember, you just need to last till sunrise.” 

She handed the cleaver to Roq and winked.

“Good luck” 

Turning around, she went back up the steps and slammed the door. A few moments later, an echoing sound reverberated throughout the entire cabin. 

“ONE!”  

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