I came back to Evony's place pretty late; I'm shocked she didn't lock the door. Probably because she gets money taking care of me until I'm twenty-one. I mean it would make sense, she hasn't taken the time to see me or get to know me until now. A visit would have at least sufficed. She was laying on the living room couch, lights off in the whole house. The TV was on but not a channel, it was just static on the screen. Great, she's sleep, I won't get a lecture for running off or coming in late. I walked in the living room to go turn the tv off, but Evony's reflection in the TV caught me off guard. Long, shiny, beautiful brown hair. A tiny button nose, plump pink lips. Hell, even the way she slept... I sat in front of the TV, crossing my legs and just staring at it, grazing my fingers along the screen. As familiar as the face was on the screen, my own was almost unrecognizable to me. I don't know who I am. Eighteen years and not one sense of worth. I've done nothing with my life, trapped in a sanctuary with no escape, I couldn't even ID her killer... I get so mad at everyone for not being there for her, but the one time she needed me the most, I wasn't.

"I'm so sorry mom." I whispered, "I'm so sorry... none of this should have happened..."

I remember my 10th birthday; it was probably one of my best memories with my mom. I woke up to the hotel room being filled with white and silver balloons, and the whole place smelt like cinnamon pancakes. She was humming a tune and dancing around in the kitchen, like we had no worries at all anymore. That day was the day for new beginnings. She was so beautiful in the morning light, I remember being so envious of her smile, because throughout all the turmoil and mossed pavements that were laid out for us, she still had the brightest smile in the whole world. She invited the whole hotel to our room, she had everyone invested in my birthday, even though I threw a fit I didn't want to celebrate it. She wanted me to have something to memorize for the rest of my life, she wanted me to find the good. I should of appreciated it more when I had the chance, I should of appreciated her when she was alive. I remember looking out the window and it seemed like the whole town was there for something that was of importance. The pool had a bunch of balloons in it, there was food being grilled, food I've never seen a day in my life before. There was a bouncy house, people dressed up in costumes of some of my favorite cartoon characters, and my name mowed into a pattern of the field. It was by far the best day I had, she made sure of it. There was laughter, chaos, it felt like we had a family for a second. She had a way to bring people together, even if they knew her for a split second. She honestly was an Angel. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and lifted myself up off my knees, finally turning off the TV.

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"Oh good, you made it home safe." I heard my aunt behind me yawning, her voice was groggy.

I turned around quickly being spooked, not expecting her to wake up, I was so quiet, didn't imagine she would. "Hey Evony?" I scratched the back of my head looking at her.

"What's up love?"

"Why didn't you... why weren't you at her funeral?"

She sat up, rubbing her eyes so she can get a better look at me. "You really want to know?"

I nodded.

She sighed, folding her hands over her lap. "I was scared. You say I don't care but that's not the least bit of truth. Listen Clarity... I know I wasn't there when you guys needed me, but I had my own life too, and I tried so hard with your mother, she was my best friend."

I looked at the ground. As angry as I was with everyone and everything, she was right. my mother dug her own grave, and I can't blame anyone else for that.

"But why were you scared?"

"Because she was exactly that, she was my best friend, my whole life. I couldn't face the fact I never visited her and the day I was finally prepared to put my fears and insecurities behind me was the day I had to say goodbye?" She took a deep breath before continuing, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "What kind of sister would that make me? Why did I deserve a goodbye?"

"You didn't have to say goodbye for you."

"Then for who? For her? She was dead! I couldn't say goodbye to her when she moved out of this house, and I couldn't say goodbye to her then."

Moments passed as the silence grew. For once, I had nothing to say. There was nothing I could say. Picking up my sweater from the floor and tying it around my waist I made my way to the staircase. "Goodnight Evony."

"Goodnight Clarity. And happy birthday."

I heard the TV turn back on when I was halfway up the landing. Little girls laughing, while their mother sang happy birthday to them, and a guitar was playing in the background. I looked downstairs and it was them, my mother and her sister, with their parents. They looked so happy, so put together. What went wrong?