Good day to you. As I finally sit down to record my story, I find myself somewhat at a loss for words on how to start. As I have mulled it over continually in my mind, I find myself at an ever growing crossroad on where to begin. I could start with the hundreds of lives I have taken, or with the millions more I have saved. At times I think it right to start with the day I met ‘her’, or perhaps the moment I ironically come back to most often in my life, the day I died. But as my thoughts linger and I commit them to this page, I think I find it most prudent to start at the very beginning, so that you may not only understand the how, but the why when it comes to the tragedy that is my life. Looking back now I don’t think I could have been more lucky, born into a powerful family of wizards I was given every opportunity to learn and grow without much hardship, a privilege I have come to learn not many have during my travels. Even at a young age I knew my parents were important people, my mother being the headmistress of Galadian Academy, the most prestigious school of the arcane in the world. An enormous school with many shining towers, housing millennia of arcane knowledge, and a seemingly endless amount of rooms to learn and teach it. Although the title headmistress may be somewhat misleading, the school sits in the middle of a vast green thriving city, literally hovering over an even more vast desert stretching for hundreds of miles in each direction. Thanks to our “unique” topography the people of City Galadia had become reliant on Wizards for their everyday lives, making it so that the headmaster or mistress of the academy is more head of state than an academic. A title I think more fitting for her anyway seeing as she could never stay still, constantly needing a project to be working on to stay sane. My father on the other hand was the head of Arcane studies at the academy, effectively giving him the responsibilities that a headmaster at any other academy would normally have. A reserved and quiet, if not somewhat goofy man, my father enjoyed spending his days researching magic, constantly gathering new tomes for our libraries, spending hours writing notes and developing new spells that he would later share with my mother. Together they gave me the name Raffin Itsamar, Itsamar was our family name and my mom would always tell me Raffin ment “blessed one” in a language long forgotten. It was a name I carried with pride for a very long time.

Growing up around magic, I naturally became interested in it at a very young age. Constantly bugging my parents to teach me a spell or two, they would always reply “When the time is right Raffin. Magic can be a very dangerous tool.” As a child, I was convinced that it was an excuse to keep me from bothering them, unfortunately for them it had the opposite effect, causing me to only pester them more, hounding them with requests day after day like the spoiled child I was, till one day a little past my fifth birthday, my parents finally relented. Waking me up early in the morning and taking me to the edge of the woods that surrounded our manor, my father had set up a small desk for me to sit at with a chalkboard about three to four feet in front of it. Clear as day I still remember him, a man of a height no taller then 4’7”, waddling up to the chalkboard wearing the same large green pointed hat he always wore that pushed his brown hair to his bulbous round nose where his small round eyeglasses sat at the very edge, displaying the large goofy smile he always had on his face whenever he was excited to teach me something. The loose long green robes he wore matched his hat and had white dust all over them, as if he had spent the entire night before continually writing and rewriting what was on the board.

“Alright son.” - he said as he tapped on the board with his pointing stick as if to signal the beginning of the lesson.

“Today I teach you the most important lesson a wizard can ever learn, how to use magic! Now you see it all starts … with mana.” - after which he directed his pointing stick to a figure of a man drawn in outline on the board, at its center was a spiral with a large filled circle at its center.

“In every living thing exists a soul, it in essence is our very being, separate yet connected to our bodies. Fueled both physically and spiritually the soul makes up everything we are and in some ways what we will become.” - as he finished the sentence he began tracing the spiral inside of the figure with his pointer.

“As we grow, both physically and mentally the soul begins to produce an energy that is commonly referred to as mana. Energy with no true form of its own, it is the power that connects the soul to the body, allowing us to do things like move or think. We as casters can take this energy and shape it however we wish, as long as we have a proper understanding of what it is we wish to accomplish.”

Upon the end of his explanation my father’s eyes darted back over to me, I sat wide eyed, yet not quite understanding much of it, nevertheless I was determined to absorb as much as I could. Seeing the determined yet confused look in my eyes, with a visible sense of pride emanating off him my father continued on.

“Why not a small demonstration.” -producing a small empty cup from a pocket inside his robe, he placed it upon the desk I was seated at.

“It all begins with drawing the mana outward, to do this all you have to do is focus upon willing it out”- With his arm outstretched a small ball of pure white energy began swirling in his palm.

“Now because we are mortal, we have a strong connection with water. We bathe with it, play in it, drink it, our daily lives could not exist without it, making us very intimate with what it is and how it works. Focusing on all the things that make water water, or its ‘Aspects’ if you were, I can infuse the mana with these concepts and completely change its form.” - Still with his arm outstretched he turned his palm over the cup. The mana, once a pure white, shifted to a shade of light blue before turning into a crystal clear stream of water filling the cup up to the rim. Now at the edge of my seat, jumping with excitement like any other child who saw his first magic trick I was inraptured. Standing with one fist firmly planted on his hip, and his chest puffed out my father continued.

“And as you become more familiar with the world and its concepts, your magic will expand allowing you to do things like this!” - Snapping his fingers he created tiny sparks that flew outward like mini fireworks.

“Or this!” - Continuing to show off, with both arms outstretched and palms pointed inward towards each other a small bolt of electricity pulsated back and forth. And before he could speak once more, a familiar voice echoed from the woods behind him.

“Or even this!”- Whipping both our heads towards the wood, my mother strutted out into the clearing, her arm outstretched at a diagonal angle towards the sky, with a somewhat maniacal smile, her palm produced a ball of flame the size of a barn that from my underside angle seemed to rival even the sun. I was awestruck, unable to take my eyes off it, I started laughing and cheering in excitement as my mom continued to fuel the fire.

“Always a show off” - Dad said with a mixed look of pride and affection painted across his face and his arms crossed, as he took in the spectacle.

As she was approaching the end of her impromptu magic show, most likely spooked by the giant fireball hovering overhead, a rabbit darted past my mothers feet, causing her to lose concentration for a split second. Without thinking her hand flailed downward in surprise causing a small residual flame to get loose and kiss my cheek. To this day I remember the heat and stinging pain on my face as the fire brushed against me. Trying to maintain some facade of strength I stifled a scream and sat back into my chair, tears visibly streaming down my face as I choked back my sadness. Rushing over to me faster than a bolt of lightning, and shoving my father out of the way onto his ass, my mother took me up into her arms and held my head close to her chest as she began apologizing profusely.

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“I'm so so so sorry sweetie, are you okay, its okay mommy’s here” - she said while stroking my hair gently.

“Why didn't you do something Gylas! Raffin could have been seriously hurt!” - My mother fired off accusingly at my father

“Well my darling, you didn't really give me much time to react” - My father replied sheepishly while picking himself up off the ground and dusting himself off.

“It’s okay mom, I’m going to be a strong wizard, fire can't hurt me” - I said while continuing to choke back the tears.

“Don't be silly Raffin, fire can hurt just about anyone, that's why we learn how to control it sweetie, now let mommy take care of that booboo.” - Laying her hand upon my cheek, a bright glow erupted from between her palm and my cheek. Before long the sting of the burn faded away, not even leaving a mark where a scar would have formed.

“What was that! My cheek feels all better, how'd you do that mom!” - I blurted out excitedly

“Healing magic sweetie, your mom is one of the few known battle mages who can use it without the help of a cleric.” - she proclaimed with her nose upturned proudly.

“Indeed, be careful with your questioning though Raffin, your mother likes to boast about it but I’m not sure if she even knows how she does it.”- my father uttered slyly, picking on my mother.

“Oh shut up you.” - mother responded with an equally agitated yet affectionate tone.

“I think that's enough excitement for today, let's get you inside and clean you up, thanks to your dads botched lesson you're probably exhausted.” -She said looking back at my dad with a knowing smile as she carried me inside the manor.

Burns aside, that day lives on in my memory as one of the happiest moments in my life. Shining like a star, as opposed to the other bleak core memories that would come to make up much of the rest of my life. One of which occurred later that night. Excited from the morning's events, I spent the rest of the day in my room, practicing drawing out my mana like my father had shown me. Only able to produce water in the beginning, I grew increasingly frustrated and tired as I pulled out every ounce of mana in my body trying to replicate the spells from earlier in the day, soaking my room in water by the time I was done. After a couple hours I was completely spent, causing me to pass out on the wooden floor, only waking once more when the moon was high in the sky, around midnight I would say. I quickly shook off the small headache that had developed, finding myself in my bed knowing that either my parents, or one of our maids must have made sure I didn't stay passed out on the floor. Eager to continue practicing spells, I jumped out of bed and began drawing mana into my palm once more. I don't know why at that particular moment the feeling of heat and pain from the accident flashed across my mind, but without realizing what I was doing a small puff of fire spit from my palm. Absolutely elated by casting a new spell, I replicated it once more, singeing my curtains before thinking to myself that it would be dangerous to keep practicing the spell in the house. Many times before I had snuck out to the clearing in front of the woods to play in the night, a habit I never seem to grow out of. Thanks to my experience our manor’s guards movements and routines were practically burned into my mind and I made myself back to the woods without trouble. Keeping myself away from the treeline but close enough to the woods where I could dart in incase one of our guards caught a glimpse of me, I began firing my small fire bolts in all directions like a child elated to play with his new toy.

“Who’s There? I can see the lights, you're not fooling anyone! Come on out and I won't have to hurt you!” - The voice of our guards echoed from several yards away.

Fearing being caught and scolded by my parents, I ran into the woods, deep enough to where someone couldn't see me through the shadows but not so deep as to remove the clearing from my sight. I sat and waited anxiously, mulling over what I would tell my parents if the guard had found me for what felt like hours, although looking back I can't imagine they would be too upset. Once the guard gave up on his search and started heading back, I began to emerge from the wood slowly. Brushing up against a bush as I stumbled towards the clearing. About halfway out a small bolt of fur dashed past me before stopping dead in its tracks directly in front of me. A rabbit, similar to the one I saw the morning before, As a child I thought them identical, although now I know it's quite possible that they were not the same. As it stared at me, unsure of what it should do, my thoughts became clouded with an anger and hate I had never felt before, enraged from the pain it caused me, and as the monstrous feelings made my fists tremble and my face hot, a soothing yet sinister voice echoed in my mind.

“This rabbit was the reason you were hurt, it's only right you hurt it back. It's only fair that you seek revenge. Show it your power, let know your anger, your rage, your hate.” - leaving my mind with a faint, soft cackle that echoed in my mind.

As if possessed, I raised my arm, palm facing the poor creature letting out a torrent of hell fire that engulfed not only the rabbit but a large portion of the plant life behind it. Snapping out of my anger induced trance, a wave of guilt and sadness washed over me as a cacophony of the innocents creature's pain induced screams filled the air. Trying the best I could to right the wrong I had just committed, I dashed to the rabbits side, dousing the flames by soaking it with a water spell. Exhausted, and feeling like I was on the verge of passing out once more, I stared at the charred remains of the creature I had so heinously wronged, half burned, what remained of its fur was now a charcoal black. The left side of its skull now visible up to the ear, tendons and muscles visible all over its body . Panicking, I laid both my hands on its burnt corpse.

“Come on Raffin, just like mom did, come on.” - I whispered to myself as I desperately tried to channel the healing magic my mom used on me.

“ Please, I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry.” - With tears now streaming down my face, I attempted to channel what little mana I had left to no avail.

Yet somehow still blind to the flames in front of me, I began surveying my surroundings for a way to fix my mistake, I noticed the abundant plant life surrounding me. Desperate, the words of my fathers lesson played in my mind once more, “ We as casters can take mana and shape it however we wish, as long as we have a proper understanding of what it is we wish to accomplish.”

“These plants are alive, maybe if I can borrow a little bit of it I can fix the bunny, I know what it's like to be alive, you move, you breathe, maybe that's enough” - I muttered to myself in a panic.

“All I have to do is focus, and maybe I can pull a little bit out for him.”

As if it was something I had done a thousand times, I willed the life force from the grasses and bushes around me into the rabbit, taking far more than I intended, causing the plant life around me to wither and dry in the process. With a bright sickly green light, the power began to flow into the rabbit’s husk causing its eyes to open once more, glowing with the same menacing power that I had siphoned into it. Rising back on its feet, the creature glared at me, not moving a muscle as if waiting for something. Completely drained of all energy, and my mind calmed thinking I had succeeded in righting my wrongs, I began to feel intense heat from all directions. Oblivious to the fire overtaking the brush I had created while reviving the rabbit, I was now surrounded by a wall of flame on all sides. Filled with dread I tried to will more water to clear my path, and while I was able to create a small spurt, the rest of my mana had been spent. Collapsing on my back exhausted, I watched as the flames climbed the tree line burning everything in its wake. As I layed there, the creature I had revived hopped up to my face and stared down at me with a blank expression.

“I'm sorry Mr.Bunny, I got us into this mess and I can't get us out.” - too exhausted to even cry I began to accept my fate, angling my head towards the ‘rabbit’.

“I wish you would go somewhere safe though, I already hurt you once I don't want to do it again.” - As soon as I finished the sentence, the rabbit hopped over the ring of fire and dashed off out of sight.

“Huh, well that's good, Mr.Bunny doesn't have to die again.”

Turning my head back towards the sky, I began to see small, almost holy, glowing spherical lights separate from the fire rise up from all around me, like large fireflies racing into the sky. I remember thinking that they were the most beautiful things I had ever seen. With my parents in my mind and smoke in my lungs I closed my eyes, certain that I wouldn't wake up. As I began to drift off, I heard a familiar sinister voice echo in my ear.

“You have done exceptionally well today young master, do not worry, you will not die tonight. Your work is far from done, and far too important for you to die like this.”