Bella misses how she and Kai used to be . . .

Even as an unspeaking baby, Kai was distant and a bit cold and tried to distance herself from others (just a result of developing an Avoidant-Attachment style due to being adopted) but Kai has always had a soft spot for her sister.

Maybe it's because Bella was and still is a clingy girl with a desperate-to-please Anxious-Attachment style, or maybe it's because a part of Kai always knew Bella was biologically related to her, or maybe she just truly felt like Bella would always be there.

Whatever the reason, when they were little, Kai had no issue entertaining everything Bella wanted, and took pride as Bella's older sister (even if it's just by 15 months.)

~ ~ ~

4-year old Bella tugs on Kai's arm. "Read it again! Read it again!"

"Okay, but this is the last time! We need to get to bed before Mom and Dad tell us!" Kai clears her throat and starts reading Hop on Pop again.

~ ~ ~

Under a few chairs and all the blankets the girls own, a 6-year old Kai calls, "Get under here, Bella!"

"I'm coming! I found the flashlight!"

"Great! We can search through the tunnel now! We can navigate"

Bella repeats the word "Navigate".

Kai nods. "Yep. Navigate. It's finding your way through something."

"Okay! Let's navigate to find lost treasure!"

~ ~ ~

Kai laughs as her sister tries to imitate Pinkie Pie's voice while playing with the small pink pony doll.

"She doesn't sound like that!"

"Well you do it then!"

Kai does a super low and slow voice on purpose. "I ... am... Pinkieeeee... pieeeee"

Bella falls over laughing.

~ ~ ~

Kai puts up her hands like a monster. "I'm gonna catch you!"

6-year old Bella starts running and squeals,"NOOO~" through her laughing.

"I can run faster than you!"

"No you can't!"

Kai quickly catches Bella and pulls her onto the couch. "I'm gonna tickle you!"

Bella screams and laughs, then Kai holds Bella close and shushes her. Kai then says, "Ah~ This pillow feels so nice~ Naptime!"

Bella laughs. "I'm not a pillow!"

"Shhh! Pillows don't talk."

"Kaiiiiiii!!!"

~ ~ ~

"Hey Bella."

"What?"

"The floor is Lava now!"

Bella laughs and jumps onto the couch.

Kai puts her blanket onto the floor and gets on it. "Bella, jump onto the raft! We have to sail around and find another island!"

~ ~ ~

Saturday morning, Bella and Kai would get up early because they wanted to always catch the newest episodes on Nickelodeon. By the time their parents let them see TV on their own, it was 2012 and things like Wonder Pets and Backyardigans and Spongebob and Dora the Explorer and Winx Club were their favorites to watch.

Anytime the Winx transformed into fairies, Bella jumped up and spun around like she's transforming too, and so did Kai, and they'd both twirl around, singing along to the Enchantix song.

They'd watch things like Littlest Pet Shop and Power Puff Girls and Sofia the First and My Little Pony, too.

~ ~ ~

Bella suddenly cries, "I lost Lottie!"

Kai knows Lottie is Bella's favorite stuffed animal, a bunny.

"We'll find her, don't worry."

Kai spent ten minutes helping Bella find Lottie.

~ ~ ~

Kai declares, "I'm the teacher now!"

Bella, along with a "class" of stuffed animals, listen attentively as Kai explains to the class how to properly peel a banana: stab it with whatever you can then pull it out of the skin.

~ ~ ~

8-year old Kai taunts, "I can finish the drawing faster than you!"

Drawing the same thing, Bella replies, "No you can't! I'm almost done!

~ ~ ~

8-year old Bella announces, "And this is how you host a tea party!"

Keeping one of the plushies from falling on the plastic cup Bella took from the kitchen, Kai asks, "It is?"

"Uh... this is what it looks like in books!"

"But these are normal cups."

"Just pretend it's tea cups!"

~ ~ ~

They're out with their mom getting icecream. Bella hides from the sun in her 10-year old sister's shadow.

Kai laughs. "What am I? A palm tree?"

Bella leans against Kai happily. "Yes"

"I'm not a tree!"

"But you're getting so tall, Kai!"

"I guess I am~"

"Well I haven't grown in years!"

"Maybe you'll catch up to me one day."

"Really?"

"Nah. I'll never let that happen."

"Why?"

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"Because I wouldn't be able to do this." Kai picks up Bella and starts to spin her around, Bella screaming with laughter.

~ ~ ~

It's a loud and stormy night.

Bella pushes Kai's door open.

It's late at night, though Kai is using a flashlight to read the second book of the Percy Jackson series.

Bella murmurs, "Sister... I'm scared... can I sleep in here?"

Kai nods and lets Bella come next to her and she lays her head on hers.

~ ~ ~

(Bella, Age 11)

"Can you hold my hand, Sister?"

"I'm not holding your hand, Bella."

(Bella, age 12)

Bella comes into her sister's room and sees her playing video games.

"Sister, do you wanna go to the park?"

Not looking at her, Kai says, "No... go ask mom to go with you"

(Bella, at age 13)

"Sister, do you wanna draw?"

"You can draw on your own."

(Bella, age 14)

Kai finds her sister sitting on the bed in Kai's room.

"Bella, get out of my room!"

"But the new season of Winx is coming out today..."

"I don't care. Watch it with Dad or something."

~ ~ ~

(BELLA POV, AGE 15)

If Kai didn't braid my hair every morning, I'd think she was unaware of my existence.

I know Kai is kinda abrasive, but in the past, I was always the exception to her cold edge.

Now she only nods as I talk like she's about to fall asleep. (I don't know if she's even listening)

I want things to go back to how they used to be...

But how do I ask that? And even if I knew how- what would I say? It'd probably just be annoying to her anyway.

It seems like everything annoys her now.

I think even I annoy her (past just the usual sister annoyance)

I think it's the teenager-years making Kai more emo and broody. I don't understand why- I mean, I still feel happy and bright. Sometimes I feel down but I still wanna talk with my sister.

Now she only talks with me if I ask her to, like for help with my homework or something.

I just

Want to hear her say

(or for her to show me)

That she loves me still

(KAI POV, AGE 16)

As I sit on the bus, I look at Bella out of the corner of my eye.

I'm so bored...

I watch as Bella talks excitedly to her new friend, Rayla.

She used to only talk to me on the bus...

A memory of me and Bella always playing tag after getting off the bus appears in my brain.

Don't think about that... stupid.

I don't know how but...

I guess I've drifted apart a little from my sister.

Okay - maybe a lot

and I know deep down it's my fault because that's just what I do- I guess- ruin sh!t.

But I'm not just walking up and telling her that! She won't believe me or something!

And it's not like it's exactly easy for me to reinsert myself! Bella mostly just chats with me in the early morning and I'm too tired to think then.

When we get home from school, she's always busy playing roblox or working on her art (not that I'm much different, I have my video games and anime and my writing)

But it's not like I'm incapable of putting that down and spending time with her...

... But I'm not gonna actually ASK her. If she wants to spend time with me, she'd ask me, right?

She'll probably say no anyway. She's got hobbies of her own and new friends now. She doesn't need me.

She always seems happy when she talks about all her new friends and the Art Club... meanwhile... I can barely speak enough to be marked down for attendance...

How lame is it my only friends are two people who go to different schools that barely text me back... and my little sister?

And she's started hanging out at her friends' houses more and more...

But anytime she asks for my help, I'm going to give it.

Maybe I'm not in a position to be her emotional comfort blanket, but I can still help her anytime she needs it.

Even if it's just some of her math homework, I can't deny (to myself) I feel good about being able to help her with something.

I just want to feel... needed. (or whatever! It's not like I really care that much or anything!)

~ ~ ~

(That week ~ Kai POV)

It's lunchtime, and usually I eat on my own, but Bella has come to me. "Kai, I need some help, I think..."

I resist the urge to half-joke "I basically live for those words at this point" and just give a chill "What's up?"

She sits down next to me. "Uh, remember that boy, Chase, I mentioned?"

Uh, no... sh!t... sorry... "Yeah."

"Well I told him to stop flirting with me but he won't stop... and it's starting to get really uncomfortable"

Wait.. WHAT? How did I overlook this?

"Did you tell a teacher?"

"Yeah but... that doesn't really stop anything..."

Of course. Ugh- I hate it when this happens. And not my sister!

She asks, "What should I do?"

Maybe it's the frustration of other various things building up right now, but I direct all that energy into a plan.

"Leave it to me, Bells."

I smirk and tell my sister not to worry because I know what I need to do, and only ask she try her best to hold out for a few days.

(three days later)

As soon as the lunch period ends, I follow Bella back to her classroom, walking with confidence.

We get to the room and she points to Chase, and I tell her to stand back because I don't know how this will go.

This is incredibly stupid...

but I am going to teach this slob a lesson the best way I know how:

being a d!ck.

After pushing my hair from my face, I yell, "Hey! Chase!"

He turns and looks me up and down. "Who are you?"

Projecting like I'm on a stage, I answer: "Doesn't matter. I've got a little surprise for you."

Everyone in the classroom watches as I pull out a long slip of paper with 30+ signatures.

"What the heck is that?"

"This is the list of people you've p!ssed off. Most of them girls you couldn't take a damn hint from, some of them boyfriends who don't like that you harassed their girlfriends, and many others who despise everything you do."

"What?"

"By signing this, they agreed that if anyone sees you harassing anyone again, well" I let a heartless smirk come onto my face. "F#ck knows what 30+ angry teenagers could do to you if we let them loose."

The other people in the class are shocked to silent stillness, and the teacher is just staring at me with stone eyes.

Chase looks bewildered. "Are you threatening me?!"

I give him my coldest glare and speak clearly. "Of course not... I'm warning you, Chase... Don't mess with my sister... or anyone else... again. You hear me?"

"You're kidding."

I move closer. "I am very serious, actually."

Suddenly, a girl stands up. "Let me sign that list."

Another girl stands up. "Me too."

Another girl adds, "Me three."

I look at them amazed. "Thankyou."

The teacher finally speaks up. "Alright alright, everybody sit in their seats!"

Everyone sits down, including Bella, but I stay standing since I don't have a seat in this room.

"What is your name?"

Feeling my adrenaline running out, I answer, "Kai ... Lynn... uh, Ma'am... er- Miss...(?)"

Bella points at me. "She's my sister"

"I figured as much." The teacher walks up to me. "Well, Kai, you... are a very brave person."

Chase yells, "What?!"

The teacher snaps at him, "Quiet, Chase. I think the Principal will have a fun time listening to me inform him that there are over thirty accounts of you harassing other students, including people in this room."

I stare at the woman, amazed.

She asks me, "Where's your next class?"

I tell her, and she writes me a hall pass so I can get there without being penalized for being late to class.

I'm amazed.

I was sure the teacher would get me in trouble... but guess she knew Chase needed a stern talking-to. Teachers pay more attention than you think!

Then I'm amazed at myself!

I did that! I actually spoke infront of a whole room of people! And I didn't even stutter or stumble!

I hope he doesn't bother Bella again...

(At the end of the day)

I wait near the bus, knowing my sister will want to talk to me.

As soon as Bella sees me, she runs and gives me a hug.

My sister hasn't hugged me in... a long time.

For a moment, I let myself feel happy, and acknowledge how much I need this hug...

But then that part of me that always comes in times like these fizzes up and I gently push her away.

"That was amazing!"

"It was?"

"All the girls in my class were talking about it! They were saying it was about time someone stood up to Chase, and they all thought you were so cool!"

I laugh. "I'm just glad the teacher was so nice about it... and I hope this works. I really do have thirty two people who promised to make Chase's life heck if he doesn't get his act together."

"Wait, I wanna see the names"

I hand Bella the list, and she gasps. "So... so many of these people are in art club!"

I look away from Bella. "I... kindaaa sortaaa found them and asked they help you out... they all seem like really nice people."

"Yes! But, who are these other people?"

"Like I said... many people have been flirted with by Chase... they don't like knowing he's still at it. I asked anyone in any class I could to help"

"You did?"

"Yeah... I mean it was nerve-wracking talking to all those people... but I thought it'd help you"

"I think it did! Thankyou, Kai!" Bella hugs me again.

Closing my eyes, I mock-scold her. "Alright, that's enough. Get off. I still have a reputation."

The bus horn honks and we remember we need to get on. As we get on the bus, Bella sits next to me for the first time in a while, and she starts talking about how shocked she was as I told off a fairly popular guy in front of a whole classroom.

When the bus drops us off at our stop, I nudge Bella's arm. "Hey... remember how we used to race home?"

"Yeah? You always beat me!"

"I bet I can still win."

I run off, and I hear her whine, "Hey! No fair! I wasn't ready!"

Bella and I laugh as we run down the sidewalk.

This just feels... so much better!

The next day, Bella ate lunch with me (usually I'm on my own) and for that, I decided to play a song from My Little Pony on her phone.

She really loves the song "Flawless".

Suddenly, someone from one of my classes- Finley- stops. "Are you watching My Little Pony?"

I quickly turn away from Bella. "She is."

Before Bella can whine at me, Finley says, "Hey, no shame- My Little Pony is the best."

I raise an eyebrow a bit before nodding slowly. Finley walks on, and I murmur an apology to Bella. "Sorry... reflex."

"It's fine." She smiles at me, and I believe her.