1:33 AM, 9th of December
<18 hours and 27 minutes until departure>
Tonight, like on on any other night, Wolf slept alone.
Or at least she tried to. After the umpteenth time tossing over on the unnervingly white sheets of an enormous four-poster (who on earth needed this much space to sleep in?), she threw off an equally unnerving silken duvet, then leapt off the bed.
Wolf immediately regretted her decision. The bed was higher than she’d judged it to be, and in any case, she wasn’t 35 anymore. She knew better than to stress her limbs so abruptly after hours of disuse.
Her knees made their displeasure well-known as she half-limped her way around the guest room, picking up strewn articles of clothing as she did. When she was satisfied that she’d thrown on enough layers to stave off hypothermia for at least several minutes, she pushed open the terrace doors that led directly onto the estate grounds.
In Wolf’s humble opinion, the Hofstra Manor took up entirely too much acreage to be housing a woman that, for all intents and purposes, lived here alone (if at all, considering that Eddie seemed to spend most of her time on the road). She herself had come here only out of necessity, having quickly run out of funds since her descent from Shved Mountain, and with Eddie flat out refusing to put her up in any old lodging house in the city.
That was how she’d ended up staying the night at an estate that was entirely too large to be shared between two people. Just earlier today, she’d spent the entire horse-drawn trip here in sullen (but attentive) silence as Eddie happily chattered away on her own, pointing out her favourite features along the way.
Wolf had silently paid attention because, contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t some uncivilized brute who couldn’t appreciate the finer points of landscaping and architecture. And the one feature that most drew her interest had been a gazebo built atop a rather steep hill, one outfitted with a telescope for stargazing. It was to this gazebo that she headed now, shuffling upon a carpet of snow with her boots half-untied.
Wolf soon regretted her decision. The hill was even steeper than she’d judged it to be, and in any case, she should’ve been long asleep, if for nothing else than to be well-rested before the job. This was no time to be acting like a mischief-minded debutante sneaking out of her first ball.
The complaints from her knees intensified about halfway up the hill, and Wolf pushed through the rest of the climb out of sheer spite, cursing under her breath all the while. In truth, she couldn’t really say why she’d been so taken with the idea of Stargaze Hill. Unlike many of her Franzish contemporaries, she’d never fancied herself an amateur astronomer. She had, however, become rather antsy after six days away from her mountain, and had gotten the funny idea in her head that a bit of moonbathing might help with her insomnia.
And as the gazebo finally came back into view at the top of the hill, Wolf saw that someone had already stolen her idea.
As if by instinct, Wolf activated her [WILD SENSE], at the same time tensing her already sore muscles and doing her utmost to steady her ragged breaths. All to appear more composed—less vulnerable—than she felt. Once again, she failed to understand her own impulses. For her sudden caution hadn’t been born of surprise. If anything, she’d almost expected Eddie to be here waiting for her, and yet—
“Wolf!” The Tactician turned to greet her, looking for all the world like she hadn’t expected company. “What are you—oh, never mind that, come! Come sit with me.”
The stone benches were built directly into the gazebo, curling around as two semicircles. And they were freezing, Wolf found to her deepening regret, as she took the seat opposite from Eddie, despite the latter clearly indicating the empty space beside her. The Tactician had also been much more diligent about dressing for the weather, and she took a moment to simply watch the hapless Assassin in wry amusement.
“What?” Wolf growled in unconvincing defiance. She was, for now, still toasty from the climb, but that was liable to change quickly, the longer she sat here ‘moonbathing’.
Eddie shook her head, smiling, then said, “Are the sheets not to your liking? I feared as much, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t even know where to look for—”
“The sheets are fine,” Wolf lied. “No, I just… I just have a lot on my mind, I suppose.”
Eddie’s smile shifted into something a little softer. “I suppose you do. Seeing as you still haven’t given me a straight answer.”
Wolf averted her gaze, looking instead past the hill and up to the night sky that had supposedly drawn her here. The snow had broken for some hours now, and the full moon shone brightly despite cloud cover. It was a view as pristine as any Wolf could’ve enjoyed on her mountain, and yet—
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“Do you, Wolf?” Eddie’s voice was silky yet jostled by a touch of uncertainty. “Have an answer for me, I mean?”
Wolf stared at the cloud-draped moon as she tried to formulate a long overdue response. The others had given their answers, hadn’t they? Ready-made and absent hesitation, right inside the basement workshop at Buchanan Hall. So then… why couldn’t Wolf give hers?
But she knew why. She wasn’t like the others—her strong, proud, and beautiful packmates who had nothing to apologize for.
She wasn’t carefree and adventurous like the twins (“Biggest heist of the century, and you really expect us to sit it out?”). She wasn’t loved and loving like Linlin (“I’ll not let my grandchildren breathe same air as Urlking.”). She certainly wasn’t cunning and ambitious like Gabs (“With the Urlking out of the way, we Franzishmen could secure ourselves a bigger piece of the pie called ‘progress’.”).
So… what was she? What did she even have to fight for, after thirty years of hiding in the shadows: guilt-ridden, [WILD], and never really [STILL]?
Wolf lost all composure then, giving fully to her restless guilt—and the anger that had helped mask it all these years.
“What do you expect me to say?” she yelled, voice quivering from more than the growing cold. “That I’m doing this to make amends? If that’s what you want to hear, then I’ll say it! Yes, Eddie, I’m the Assassin for the job. You can count on me. You can entrust your whole plan—thirty years in the making—to me and my knife, because that’s just what I do, isn’t it? I finish the hunt! Especially since I’m getting a second crack at it… especially because I’m the one that let the quarry get away in the first place… got distracted… chose to save a Goblin child, even though I knew what it meant… over human children… over your son, Eddie!”
By then Wolf could no longer see the moon, nor her companion across the gazebo. Her entire world now consisted of hot tears that shook and blurred her vision, and in turn, her thoughts became a jumbled mess of everything she should’ve said more than thirty years ago.
“You have to believe me, Eddie,” she pleaded in between sobs. “You have to believe I didn’t mean it. No matter what did or didn’t happen between us… no matter how badly you hurt me… I had every intention to… I never meant for Johann to be—”
Suddenly, Wolf’s blurry world multiplied, joined by a clump of warmth that wrapped itself around her shaking body. Then Eddie’s hand found purchase on the back of Wolf’s beret, better to pull the Assassin into herself. By then, Wolf was too cold and too weak to resist, and she continued to sob, with her head buried in Eddie’s shoulder.
Then Wolf’s world shrank again, this time into the darkness and warmth of an old lover’s shoulder. And into this dark and warm hollow filtered Eddie’s faceless silky voice.
“Is that what’s been eating you all these years? That I blamed you for losing my son to the Urlking? Oh, Wolfhilde, my dear… you should know better than that. After all, what kind of Tactician would I be if I blamed my Assassin for my own mistake—of failing to provide a clear line of sight for your kill? I swear to you, Wolf. I swear I won’t make the same mistake twice. Join me for this final hunt, and you will have your satisfaction. I’ll make sure of it.”
Wolf stopped crying then. Not because she’d been reassured, but because she’d felt a sudden chill. Something that frosted over at the periphery of her [WILD SENSE]. But the moment passed quickly, as Eddie separated and held Wolf at arm’s length, revealing a gentle smile as she did.
“But enough of that!” Eddie announced brightly. “What say we actually address the real reason you came up here?”
“What?” Wolf managed a weak murmur.
“The telescope. Isn’t that why you’re here? I admit I didn’t take you for an amateur astronomer, but this is the perfect place for it. It’s not called ‘Stargaze Hill’ for nothing.”
“Oh. I don’t know, Eds. I don’t think I’m really in the mood for—”
“Nonsense! Come, let me show you how to use it.”
By then, Wolf was too cold and too wistful to resist, and she let herself be pulled along by her willful companion, as she so often had in their shared youth. And she watched with a numb and fond sort of serenity, as Eddie angled and adjusted the telescope for her benefit.
“Anything?”
“… Not really. I see a lot of clouds, just a little closer.”
“Not a problem, let me just—how about now?”
“… Still nothing. Maybe it’s just not the night for it? Besides, it’s getting quite—ah... atchoo!—chilly out here. I reckon I better turn in before I—”
Wolf froze. For she’d just turned away from the eyepiece, only to come face to face with Eddie’s gleaming eyes, barely an inch away from her own.
“Eddie,” Wolf breathed, suddenly so cold and so fearful, “what—”
Eddie kissed her.
Her lips were slightly chapped and parted just wide enough for the two of them to taste the warmth of each other’s breaths. She held the kiss. One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. And a third that skipped.
“It is a bit chilly, isn’t it?” Eddied whispered more warmth onto Wolf’s stricken face. “Come then. I’ll walk you home.”
Later, as Wolf tossed and turned on a strange bed—quietly now, lest she wake the lightly snoring figure beside her—she thought again of the ‘answer’ she’d failed to give and the promise Eddie had offered in turn.
She tossed and turned until she found just the right position to rest her weary knees. She replayed her conversations with Eddie until her eyelids grew heavy with a numb and fond sort of serenity.
In the end, she turned until her arms found their way back to Eddie, wrapping around a clump of warmth that rose and fell to the arrhythmia of a troubled dream. In the end, Wolf knew her answer, clearer than it’d ever been.
She would do anything for this woman. Anything to release her from a nightmare that had held her for thirty years. And she’d start by salvaging what little sleep remained of her night, the better to rest herself for the morrow’s hunt.