Braq, radji Cradle Ecologist

Date [standardised human time]: July 8th, 2117

(19 years, 2 months before the invasion of the radji Cradle).

Ki-yu first began talking to them in barks and chirrups. She had made noises before; her umph!-ing they were confident was a signal of distress, and she would squeak and squark as she played with them or Spike. Their most cherished sound was her throaty, barking laugh. When Turin had first described it to him, Braq thought she must have been misreading her. But then he had heard it himself when he played with her and now they tried to draw it from her at every opportunity.

They had also started to wonder if she was understanding more of what they said. She would bark at Braq, a “Ba!” sound clear and distinct from her usual repertoire. She would also hum around Turin, “Hmmma! Hmmma!”

But these new sounds were not the babbling of most sapient newborns, more a set of whistling sounds, chirps, and snapping of the mouth. They were directed at them, they implied intent. She seemed to do this to get their attention, such as when a fiirit landed by the window, or when she wanted to go outside.

They had been more comfortable letting Ki-yu out into the yard now that she had shown no inclination of running off, although they kept a close eye on her. The new storage room with its hidden backroom had been completed should they need to hide her, although it was currently just a large empty room without lighting.

Ki-yu was also now larger, and more active. Her lithe legs seemed to be growing even longer, packing on tendon and muscle. She had even started running, after a fashion. Her long strides were ungainly, her footing wobbly and insecure, yet she would certainly be able to run down a radji. Such a feat had startled them both when she first went bounding down the pen rows, running after some imaginary friend.

Braq and Turin stood at workbenches spread out in the area outside the pens. An assortment of cameras, tools, and wires spread out around them. Braq fidgeted with the control pad, trying to link up two new systems with a far outdated one. He had been trying this setup for the past hour or so and was convinced he had wasted that time.

Following the incident with Yotun, and the discovery of the ‘mountain pass’, both radji had become more concerned with security. The whole situation riled Braq up. They had been sent out here so that they were not upsetting the status quo, but still they were not left alone. Someone had cut a route onto their property, destroying who knows how much, and the first they had known about it was when Turin stumbled across some lost kid? That was unacceptable in-and-of itself, but the brazen and methodological nature of it told of something new. We’ve encountered hostility from people before, but this was organised…

The pair were attempting to rig together an upgrade to the camera system so that it could handle more cameras. On the one paw it was a great opportunity to cover some areas of ecological importance that had escaped their previous efforts, but they both knew its true purpose. They had specifically scouted out a few key positions along the mountains that would cover the pass, as well as a couple of other sections that could theoretically also bypass the mountains.

Turin had decided that the entire system software needed an overall, and Braq had agreed. Updating the system to provide real-time output of the trail cams, not just the local cameras was their main goal. Unfortunately, that meant dismantling the entire system, one camera at a time. They had had dedicated the last two months to it, and it was slow and painful work.

Braq’s mind, not for the first time, returned to the Brynn foal that had started this debacle. Yotun, fool though he was, had the right of it. What kind of predator kills without feeding?

His partner sighed next to him as she found another camera’s power cell to have been corroded.

“We should have kept a closer eye on these,” she said, half to herself. Braq nodded.

“We should have done a lot of things,” he grunted as he struggled to solder in a new connection. “But there’s only ever been two of us. By rights this land should have a team of fifty.” A sly grin crept across her mouth.

“Well, I’m clearly worth ten men,” she japed, “when are you gonna start pulling your weight?” Braq snorted at that, appreciative of the brevity. But his paw slipped, and he burned a finger. Solder, rich in its metallic odour, flooded the circuit board. Cursing, he threw down his tools in disgust.

“Sorry…” Turin said, “I distracted you. Go take a break.”

“No,” he said waving her off and inspecting his burnt paw, “we need to get this done.” Turin set down what she was doing and walked over to him. They were both covered in soot and dirt, but she began fussing over his chest.

“We’ll both burn out like that circuit board if we don’t slow down,” she said as she ran her paws through his fur. “How about I go get us some cool drinks, and we have an early lunch, hm?” Succumbing to her touch, he rested his head against hers.

“Okay,” he sighed faux-resignedly, “if you insist.”

“I do. Go check on the monster, see what she’s playing at.”

He found Ki-yu sitting in the sun atop the lodge, her forepaws dangling over the edge. He only spotted her when she looked up and barked—“Ba!”—at his approach, her grey mottled scales matching the colour of the tiles with their speckling of moss. Are her scales duller? Braq thought to himself, her pattern isn’t as clear… I hope she’s eating right.

“Hello there, little miss,” he called out. She snorted down at him. “What are you up to today?” As if in response, she panted contentedly, and looked up to the chimney where he saw that a fiirit had made its nest. Braq was not sure if this was the same fiirit she was always following, but the pyq was clearly fascinated by the little mammals. She would creep up beneath their perch and look up at them, tilting her head this way and that.

Braq clapped his paws to get her attention.

“How about some food!” he said. She snorted again and, with one last look at the nest, jumped onto her paws. She bounded down the sloping side of the half-buried structure and padded happily up to Braq as they met Turin in the kitchen.

The kibble was still truly disgusting. Nothing could override the inbuilt revulsion that flooded through Braq when he had to handle the stuff, but he had strangely learned to tolerate it. It was as though he could take his disgust, accept it, place it in a box in his mind, and then be free to go about feeding her. Does that make me mad? he wondered. I’m raising a pyq, and I ask myself if I’m mad? The happy little expression Ki-yu wore as she gobbled down some kibble made any madness worthwhile, Braq supposed.

“I don’t know if I’d be so content eating the same thing every day,” Turin commented.

“I guess it’s the little things,” he replied. “But she’ll have to start… hunting… sooner or later.” The thought was a cold knife of dread in Braq’s heart, one he could not face just yet, and he saw Turin stall for a moment in her work.

“C’mon,” he said, putting the issue aside, “let’s go sit outside for a bit.”

They sat in the sun atop the lodge, a blanket laid out beneath them. The sun’s light was gentle, and they had a light snack of berries and fruit. Ki-yu squeaked and chirruped as she play-fought with Spike at their feet. Leaping on him, shaking him, throwing him around. Then it would seem like the plush-toy got some imaginary upper hand, and Ki-yu would roll around on her back, the tiny radji wriggling in her paws above her.

The fruit was sweet, and Braq felt himself relax. He admired Turin, the way the wind tussled with her caramel brown fur, her gentle rounded snout. She was looking east, he noticed, to the mountain where the amplifier sat. She noticed him watching and snorted at him.

“What’re you staring at?” she asked playfully, “Enjoying the view?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Braq replied.

“Creeper,” she said picking up another berry, and he chortled. “I was trying to find the opening, the one in the mountain. I think it’s somewhere around… there.” She pointed to a spot above a relatively flat surface, near the peak. The darkness of the rock made picking out the cave’s opening quite difficult at this distance, but the spot certainly had an uninterrupted view of the whole valley. Ki-yu stopped at her play and stretched, before looking in the direction Turin was pointing.

“It’d be a good spot for a camera,” Braq said as he took a bite of some fruit. “Might be able to set up a nest box and monitor some of the rinnos.”

“Hm,” Turin discarded a slightly rotten piece of shoko fruit. “Not a bad idea.”

The fiirit landed nearby down from its nest and began picking at the abandoned morsel. Ki-yu watched the mammal curiously through her dark eyes.

“I’ve been known to have them,” Braq said, and she rolled her eyes as she laughed.

“I’ve been thinking-” he began.

“It’s been known to happen,” she jested, eyes full of that playful sunshine.

“Ha, ha,” he said, looking back to the mountains. “Well, we kind of need somewhere to monitor all of this stuff, and-”

There was a squawking sound, and Turin gasped.

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Looking back, Braq saw that Ki-yu had pounced on the fiirit. The little brown mammal, apparently surprised by the ambush had failed to take flight in time. It lay on its back, its small furry chest rising and falling rapidly, cobalt dripping from its torn membranous wings. Ki-yu had jumped back, apparently in shock, surprised to have caught it. Her whole body was held taught, her attention fixed on the dying fiirit. Her dark eyes were wide, her head making a strange slow ducking motion. Braq found himself unable to move.

The fiirit shuddered and died.

Oh, Protector…

Ki-yu inched closer, seemingly waiting for the creature to jump back up and fly again. She sniffed around the dead thing, and Braq found the strength to turn his head. Turin lay as still as him; her eyes wide as she watched the predator. Predator… she’s going to eat it.

“She’ll eat it,” he whispered. Turin, beside him, shook her head in disbelief.

“S- should we stop her?” she whispered back. Braq did not know if he had the ability to approach Ki-yu now, still caught in the spell of his shock. Might she behave differently now that she has killed?

What happened next Braq found he could assign no singular feeling to. There were elements of horror and anxiety to be sure. Curiosity and pride were also there in no small measure, but no one word could possibly describe the profound nature of what he witnessed.

Ki-yu sat back on her haunches and keened. A long squalling sound, a whine that ended with a string of umphs. Her dark eyes welled up with moisture, and she sobbed as she backed away from her first kill.

“Ba-ba!” she cried out, “hmma-ma!” And like that, the spell was broken, and they rushed to their child. They picked her up between them, all that muscular tension and strength lost from her. Her hands gripped at them desperately, as she keened all the while.

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Turin cooed into her, her eyes wet, “It’s okay.” Braq found his paws shook as he brought Ki-yu her Spike, which she greedily accepted. He wrapped them all in a great hug.

They were all shaking when they brought the pyq inside. Turin sat down with her on the couch and rocked her gently. Braq, not really knowing what else to do, reflexively started brewing some tea. The boil of the kettle calmed him, its familiar timing, the slosh of the hot water into the mug, the fragrant aroma.

“How is she?” he asked as he brought Turin a cup.

“Quiet. Still shaking.” Ki-yu had dropped Spike onto the couch, now favouring a firm grip on Turin’s overalls. Whilst she had stopped sobbing, her eyes still glistened. Braq sat beside Turin and put an arm around her.

“How about you?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You were as shocked as I was.” She shook her head and sighed.

“I just- it happened so fast! The fiirit couldn’t even react! Even she seemed surprised.” Ki-yu began making a snorting sound with each breath, and Turin pressed her forehead against hers.

“I thought we’d have more time…” Braq said absently, standing to pace. “More time to… prepare. Her. Us. Why wouldn’t she eat it?” Turin looked up at him, her eyes raw.

“W-what? She just jumped on it, l-like with Spike… Oh, Protector…”

“She’s been following that fiirit for days,” Braq said solemnly. “I should have seen-”

“Seen what?!” Turin snapped. She defensively pulled Ki-yu closer to herself. “Say it, go on!”

“Turin-”

“Hunting. That’s what you were going to say, weren’t you?! Well, you’re wrong! It was play, like with Spike, she didn’t mean to!” I don’t mean that, won’t you listen?!

“Turin!” Braq found his voice rising despite himself. “She is a predator. She was always–” He was interrupted as Ki-yu began to keen again. Angry at himself, Braq turned away. It took Turin a while to hush her down again, by which time Braq’s anger had subsided.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have yelled. But we need to face the reality that on some level, that was predatory.”

“So what?” Turin asked, not as harshly as before. Braq sat down on the couch beside her.

“We suspected this would happen. We have to be smart about-”

“Shh!” Turin shushed him suddenly.

“Don’t shush–” he began, but she covered his mouth with a paw. Her face was warped in a desperate fearful appeal. Braq shushed. Faintly he could discern the sound of an engine approaching. A curse was muffled into Turin’s paw.

“I’ll get her hidden, you clean up outside!” Turin said. Wiping away her tears, she quickly bundled Ki-yu up in a blanket. The little predator wailed in alarm at the urgent contact, and Turin cooed her gently as she went to the backroom.

Heading outside, Braq looked down at the dead fiirit. Such a poor little thing, it deserved better… but there’s no time. Picking it up with a shovel, he carted it over to the bins. Looking down the track to the southwest, Braq could see the dust being kicked up by the approaching ground-car. Back inside, he looked around the living room. Ki-yu’s carry case was sitting in the corner, so he moved it down into the incubator room. He got back to the front door in time to hear the knock. Glancing down the hallway, he saw Turin exit the storage room and give him a nod. The visitor knocked again. Taking a breath, Braq collected himself and opened the door.

Standing before him was a male middle-aged radji of an average build and complexion. He was neither slight nor overweight, neither tall nor short. He wore a normal looking smile and was well groomed. He wore unspoiled working overalls that fit him loosely, and in one paw he held a small food container. Braq had the distinct impression that he was greeting an exceedingly normal looking man. His eyes were even the right colour.

“Hullo!” said the stranger, jovially. “You must be the estate owners. I’m Teraka, I’ve just taken ownership of the anuana pastures to the south. Seeing as we’d be neighbours, I thought I’d drop by and say hullo!” The man spoke fast as if each word was desperate to outdo its predecessor. He bowed his head, touching a paw to his chest. His paws looked as well-groomed and clean as the rest of him.

“Braq,” Braq said, trying to appear some real flavour of ‘normal’. “This is my partner Turin. What can we do for you?” Teraka looked past Braq and smiled at Turin behind him.

“Not too much of course!” he half laughed. “Just dropping by, thought I’d leave you with some anuana to sample, then be on my way. Don’t want to inconvenience you both, I’m sure you’re quite busy!” He glanced between them quickly, offering the container to Braq.

“It’s a long drive back south,” Turin said diplomatically, “are you sure you don’t want to stop for some water?” Good Turin. Offer the bare minimum so he can politely refuse and be on his way.

“Ah just a glass would be lovely,” he said as he brushed past Braq. Shit.

Teraka looked around the room as Turin went to the kitchen, and Braq noticed that his gaze lingered on the inactive monitor feed.

“Camera issues?” he asked lightly.

“Just some maintenance,” Braq replied as he placed the container on the countertop. “Have you been in the pastural business long?”

“My family was, I found my calling elsewhere until recently. I must confess, operating such a large province is far more work than I expected. But then again, you both run this enormous estate all by yourselves. How do you manage that?”

“Well enough,” Turin replied as she returned with some water. “We could use more hands, but not many people appreciate the work.”

“Ah yes, the predators,” the normal man said, his eyes bulging for emphasis. “Forgive me, but I’d heard that there was some nasty business with a brynn foal to the north-east some months ago. Was that from here?” He drank the full glass in one long gulp.

“No, that was on the shoko vineyards to the east. Terrible thing,” Braq said, his unease growing by the moment. This man wants something.

“Indeed,” Teraka said coolly. “Rest assured, any predators, government permitted or no, that make their way onto my property will be swiftly dealt with.” Oh, fuck you, Braq thought.

“Of course, we wouldn’t expect anything less,” Braq said, forcing a smile. “We’re scientists, not morons.”

“Of course,” the man echoed. And your mother. “Hm.” The man bent down over and picked up Spike from the couch. He looked at the toy strangely.

“You have children?” he asked.

“Er…” Turin hesitated.

“It was an impulse purchase,” Braq said quickly. “A joke.” The man regarded him for a moment before offering a smile and setting it down.

“Well, thank you both for your hospitality, but I think I should be going.”

“Of course,” Turin said, regaining some composure. She walked over to the bench and began writing on a piece of paper. “Should you need to contact us, here’s our details.”

“Thank you, it’s been a pleasure,” he said taking the paper with a nod and headed for the door. But just before he reached it, he stopped and turned back.

“Should you need any help with the cameras I have a friend in the city who did a wonderful job with ours. Should I pass your name on to her?”

“No, that’s alright,” Turin said. “We’re almost done now. A pleasure Mr. Teraka.”

“Oh, it’s just Teraka,” he said. “Do try the anuana.” And with another slight bow, he returned to his vehicle.

“We need those cameras online,” Braq said to Turin as they stood by the window. As Teraka tore off down the track, he found himself desperate to collect the child. The door to the backroom was hidden behind a shelf which a subtle clasp on its lowest shelf. The mechanism unlatched with a clunk! and the door swung open.

Backed into a corner of the room was Ki-yu. She had wrapped her tail around herself, her forelimbs draped over her head. The blanket lay abandoned in the centre of the room. She was sobbing. She flinched away from the light as the door opened and keened at Braq’s silhouette in the doorway.

“Ba-ba!” she barked out weakly, snuffling against her tears. “Ba-ba!”

He went to her and pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently as he knelt there.

“It’s okay, it’s over now. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

~*~

Ki-yu eventually fell asleep across their laps as they sat together on the couch. They had spent the rest of the day getting as much of the system online as possible, but one of them had stayed with the pyq the whole time. She was clearly distraught and struggled to eat when it came to dinner. The fire was exhausted to embers, and Braq felt quite the same.

“We got lucky today,” he said.

“I- I almost lost it over a damn toy,” Turin said weakly, running a paw over Ki-yu’s scaley hide.

“I should have picked it up,” Braq mumbled. “I shouldn’t have turned all of the cameras off.”

“We managed,” Turin said, resting her head on his shoulder. “But that man was weird.”

“One of a number recently,” Braq agreed resting his head back. “Somethings changed. That anuana is definitely going in the bin.” Turin laughed weakly.

“We can’t forget that something else is different now,” she whispered, suddenly serious. “She spoke. She killed. That’s traumatising.”

“I don’t think any of us will forget today any time soon,” he said distantly.

“I mean that today was traumatic for her,” Turin whispered.

“She’s a predator, I guess it was in her nature all along.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Maybe it was predatory. Or perhaps predation begins with play, I don’t know. She’ll have to kill things to survive, we’ve always known that, but that’s not what I meant. On the day of her first, the day she was most vulnerable, we locked her away. How could she read that as anything else but a punishment?” Braq had not thought of that. How do we talk to her when she can barely speak? he asked himself.

“When she gets older,” he said, “she’ll understand.”

“Understanding isn’t the same as acceptance Braq. And in the meantime, she’ll only know it as a rejection.”

“Then, for now, we’ll show her that it isn’t a punishment. That we accept her. She’s going to have to go back into that room eventually, perhaps we should make it somewhere she feels safe.”

“Make it her room…” Turin said slowly. “A space for herself.”

“And more.” Braq shook his head at the sleeping reptile. “We can’t waste any more time. We’ll have to start teaching her now, as much as we can. How to speak, how to read and write-”

“Mathematics and science. Our culture and history.” Turin sighed, rubbing her forehead. “An education is not a childhood. She’ll need contact with others at some point.”

“For now, all she’ll have is us, and hopefully that’s enough. And…” Braq sighed resignedly, “…if she’s to be a predator, she must learn to do it right. What’s the phrase? To do it cleanly. To take no joy in it.” Turin squirmed against him but nodded, nonetheless.

“Ah, what are we doing beloved? Raising a pyq… what do we know of them really? Is Ki-yu going to turn out any differently from those monsters?”

“She is different Turin,” Braq said, resting his head against hers. “I’ve never known a predator to morn a kill before.” Turin breathed softly against him, and her voice was morose as she spoke.

“A pity, that a child must grow up so fast.”

For the first time in weeks, the stress seemed to soak out of them all. Lifting her gently, the couple brought pillows and blankets. They slept with Ki-yu between them in the darkness of her bedding-room.

---

“The problem of pain is that I cannot feel my father’s, and he cannot feel mine. This, I suppose, is also the essential mercy of pain.”

– The Pain Scale, Eula Biss, 2007.