Carter held up his hands in frustration. "Stop! Just stop! Listen, I've been shot at, left to die, and then chased around this monstrosity of a ship by a computer program pretending to be ghosts. I don't really have it in me to listen to your life story. Not without some food and sleep first!"

The redheaded bombshell Carter was coming to think of as "the Vixen" sighed. "We should just kill him and be done with it. This man is obviously not fit to be our captain."

Carter was about to object, but the one who looked like some sort of girl next door beat him to the punch. "You say that about everyone who comes onboard. We've been stuck here for a long time and need to accept someone eventually. He was smart enough to see through our little game. He might do, if only for a little while."

The vixen glowered. "Not everyone. He's just not my type, is all..."

The pirate shook his head. "No man is your type! And not many lasses are foolish enough to come on board with our reputation! We've been preying on nothing but the occasional stupid hooligan unworthy of the title pirate that sneaks on board. At least this lad has a bit of fire in him! We need to get back to lootin' and pillaging, and that won't be happenin' so long as you kill every warm blood that strolls our halls!"

The vixen huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, I won't kill him...yet! But should he fail to live up to your lofty expectations, I won't hesitate to turn him into nothing more than another red stain in our halls!" Having said her piece, the redheaded vixen faded into digitized light particles and disappeared.

The pirate gave Carter an indecipherable look. "You heard the lady! You'd best earn your keep around here, or we won't be able to save you from her wrath!" With that, he, too, disappeared, leaving just Carter and the girl.

Looking at the girl, Carter noticed she was probably a bit older than his initial assessment. She was probably supposed to be somewhere in her mid-to-late twenties. She just looked younger because she was a little short and had her hair tied in a ponytail. Then, remembering what the vixen said, he laughed nervously. "She wouldn't really kill me...would she?"

The girl pushed up her glasses in a way that spoke of long habit and nodded. "Oh, she definitely would, but not yet. For now, I suppose we should see about getting you that food and sleep you mentioned. It's been a while since we had a guest...well, a welcome guest anyway, so you might have to put up with some...inconveniences."

Carter shook his head. "That's one way to put it. I've seen some of the food you've got onboard, and I don't think it's quite to my taste..."

The girl seemed to think for a moment, then shook her head. "Oh, don't worry about that; that was just the old man's way of having a little fun with you. That's all. We have some processing units that shouldn't poison your food."

Carter eyed the girl wearily. "I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the fact you chose the world 'shouldn't.' I'd prefer a little more certainty about not being poisoned."

The girl shrugged. "It hasn't been used in...well...a few decades now, so I'm afraid you'll have to accept near certainty. Unless you have enough supplies to last until we can get up and running again? That could take a few weeks."

Carter started to say something, then stopped. Instead, he did a little math in his head and didn't particularly like the numbers. If he did nothing other than eat and sleep, he might be able to stretch his rations out to a little more than a week. However, he suspected the vixen wouldn't be impressed if he chose that route. Finally, he sighed. "Alright, show me to the processers. I guess I'll give them a try..."

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

The girl nodded. "Excellent! This way, please!"

As the girl led the way down the hallway, Carter followed, lost in thought. These insane AIs wanted him to captain the ship? Did that mean it would go where he wanted and do what he wanted? Given its size, it certainly had much more cargo space than his old ship, but who would be crazy enough to take on the Sybil for a job? Hell, given its reputation, the first time he flew into populated space, they'd probably shoot first and ask questions never. So what were his options as captain of this death trap? Become a pirate, like the pirate personality obviously wanted? Having been the victim of those kinds of people, the idea didn't sit well with Carter, but what else was there?

Shaking his head, Carter realized he was getting ahead of himself. He didn't even know if he would live through the...huh, was it day or night? He'd kind of lost track.

Eventually the girl stopped and indicated a door. "Here we are, the dining hall! Come in, and we'll give it a shot!"

Carter approached a set of double doors and triggered them to open. One door hushed right open, but the other caught and seemed to grind a little as it slid open in a slower, almost jerky motion.

Ignoring the images of the doors slamming shut and bisecting him that suddenly came unbidden to his mind, Carter walked into the room. The lights came on, or at least most of them did. A few lights toward the back seemed to flicker and then fail. That was when he realized he wasn't alone in the room.

In the back of the room was a clearly digitized image of a man, cowering in the corner, arm up raised to ward off some unseen attacker. His movements were jerky, with some actions seeming to lurch ahead a few seconds before rubberbanding back into place as the image shouted. "No! Don't! Stay away!" A moment later, the image faded, and the rest of the lights turned on, leaving no hint of the little horror show Carter had witnessed moments before.

Carter turned to his host. "Um, what the hell was that? Are you all still trying to screw with me?"

The girl actually looked a little embarrassed. "Oh, that? It's nothing, don't worry about it! It's just an echo!"

Carter blinked, dumbfounded. "You want me not to worry about the image of a man screaming for some monster to stay away?"

The girl shrugged. "Well, it wasn't a monster per se... But like I said, don't worry about it! So long as you don't get too far onto one of my other selves' bad sides, you won't have to deal with anything like that!"

Carter shook his head, realizing he was probably happier not knowing the details...for now. "Whatever. We're here for some food, right? So where are these processors you were talking about?"

The girl led the way over to what looked like an ancient piece of technology that probably belonged in a museum. "Right here! You can use it to make a slurry or patty that you can grill over on the stove!"

Carter triggered the device, and a portion of something that looked inedible leaked out. "What the hell is this?"

The girl grinned innocently. "It's the finest in nutrient-dense paste! That stuff will keep almost indefinitely and is easy to replace! You could live off that stuff for years if need be!"

Carter fixed the girl with a glare that let her know he wasn't in any mood for shenanigans. "Listen, I'm not picky, but tell me that's not ground-up people!"

The girl looked horrified. "Ew! Gross! Of course not! We have our own organic supply we use to keep it stocked!"

She still seemed to be dancing around the subject, so Carter turned and faced her directly. "I'm gonna need more details than 'organic supply.'"

The girl fidgeted. "Oh, it's just a subsect of the kingdom Animalia, specifically the phylum Arthropoda, that's all..."

Carter glared at the girl. "You're talking about bugs, aren't you? You're feeding me bug paste,"

The girl looked surprised. "Oh, I didn't think you'd know... Er, I mean, I'm surprised you're familiar with phyla classification...though how'd you narrow it down to insects?"

Carter heaved a sigh. "I have no idea what 'fila' means; I just figured bugs were the easiest thing to keep fresh in large quantities that you'd be afraid to tell me you were trying to feed me."

The girl looked worried. "Does that mean you're not gonna eat it? Because we don't really have anything else..."

Carter sighed again, squirted a small amount onto his finger, and tasted it. After a moment, he paused. "Huh...is that mint?"

The girl nodded. "Yup! We found it hid the taste of insects the best! Though we have a full selection of spices and flavorings available for you to mix in as desired!"

Looking around, Carter grabbed a few of the dusty dishes and walked over to the sink to wash them before trying the food for real.