Memory transcription subject: Estala, Prestige Extermination Officer, PR Division.
Date [standardized human time]: January 14th, 2131
I walked into Ghelsim's office with purpose, not caring to knock or even announce my presence, instead simply moving towards where he was seated with an air of confidence. It had been three years since the first time I'd entered this room, starstruck and anxious about what such a legend of the guild would want with a simple Junior Exterminator like myself.
Three years was a long time. Back then I’d only known him as a hero to the guild, known him from his accolades and stories about his helping people. Stories that upon looking into, were nothing more than exaggerations or the work of other Exterminators. I now knew what Ghelsim was: A blundering incompetent Krakotl who had somehow managed to stumble their way into the head of the Nishtal guild. They were nothing compared with what I'd faced since then. I'd gone head-to-head with the Arxur, he was just a bird, barely having the merit to be called a man.
“Estala! What are you doing here? When I saw that you cancelled today's media presence, I was worried you’d fallen ill.”
I ignored his statement, instead dropping a data pad in front of him, speaking plainly and simply, stating what was about to happen.
“The Ayyakia colony clean up. I'm going to be leading this for the next year, so unfortunately I'll be a little too busy to talk about useless things to yet another clueless reporter. You'll have to find someone else to do it.”
I didn't ask or request the position, asking didn’t get you things. I'd already set everything in motion long before entering the office, not giving the very flustered guild leader in front of me any chance to argue. I could see it was working, Ghelsim's feathers ruffling in confusion as he looked through the mass of data I'd just literally dumped on their lap.
“Now hold up Estala, you can't just decide to do this! There's a process to go through! The Federation needs you here!”
Ironic. This was the first time someone else had mentioned the rules around me in a long, long time.
“I felt like my talents were being wasted here, sir. While some others feel that staying behind a camera is where their skills lead them to be the most useful, I feel that staying in this position with my combat and colony experience is a waste of resources. When I contacted them, Captain Golvil and Captain Carala seemed to agree. Having the ‘Hero of Voyak’ languishing behind a desk is an interesting use of Nishtal guild personnel.”
I couldn't help but feel a little smug upon name-dropping the prominent members of the Nishtal guild and military, members just as storied and celebrated as Ghelsim was. A simple call and a little bit of an explanation was all it took. That was the problem with the Nishtal Exterminators guild, wasn't it? The left wing didn't know what the right wing was doing.
I could see the Krakotl desperately trying to work out how to keep me under his wing and out of trouble, racking his brain trying to work out what excuse to give. Technically, he was my boss. Technically, he could order me back into my current position. Of course, then he'd have to explain to the others why he thought the ‘Hero of Voyak’ wasn't able to assist the Federation in such a way. PR work was the realm of those who wished to retire, who could no longer aid the Federation in a more physical capacity.
“The Ayyakia colony clean up already has a leader I'm afraid. Tala, the son of Councillor Rasim. I can't just give away his daughter's first leadership position. Politics, you see. We can look at getting you a spot on another expedition, but I’m afraid another one’s not coming up any time soon.”
I could see Ghelsim starting to calm down, the idea he'd chosen upon seeming like a sure-fire strategy. It was true that many of these kinds of appointments were political, with children or family members of important government officials getting their Exterminator careers pushed forwards. What Ghelsim didn't know however, was I already knew about this. I also knew that Councillor Rasim was a loving father who was very worried about his only daughter's chosen career.
“No worries, I already cleared it up with him. After the Arxur raid on Voyak, the councillor agreed that having a co-lead with experience against such an attack would be the best option for the safety of all. What better person to teach his precious daughter than the ‘Hero of Voyak?’”
Not that I'm planning on letting some inexperienced politician’s kid make the calls. She'll get that precious mark on her career, and I'll get to actually help people and the Federation as a whole.
I could see that Ghelsim was beaten, and I could see him work that out. A lifetime of following the rules and knowing how to research them gave me the exact answers I needed to get this done. I knew who to contact and what processes to fill out to make this happen, with no chance for Ghelsim to interfere and keep me out of trouble. I knew he didn’t like me, my original posting to Voyak made that obvious enough, so I enjoyed watching him splutter and try to formulate a response.
“But, you can't... I… Why? You've done your time, nobody does more than two colony expeditions. You nearly died on the last one, you told me that yourself. Why not stay safe here and help inspire the next generation of Exterminators? You don't need to prove anything, Estala.”
“Permission to speak candidly sir?”
“... Granted?”
I took a moment to steel myself for a moment, taking a deep breath as I knew my next words were going to insult the person who was my boss.
“The entire guild is incompetent and sloppy, sir.”
I could see he wanted to respond immediately to that, but I held up a wing to stop him from interrupting me as I continued.
“We have a very simple set of instructions to follow for aiding the Federation that nobody seems to be able to actually follow. Only 21% of the Nishtal Guild is at the minimum firearm's proficiency, the complete lack of following proper Predator Disease procedures is going to end in a humiliating public lawsuit one of these days, and our colony process is a mess of unnecessary pain and death due to sheer laziness. Why, if I didn't know better, I would have thought nobody actually wanted to properly defend against the evil predators. ”
“What makes you say such a thing? The Nishtal Exterminators are the crown jewel of the Federation's fight against the predatory evil!”
That was technically true, but less about the high standards of the Nishtal Exterminators, and more about the low standards of everyone else. I shook my head slowly, my voice taking on a less combative, sadder tone.
“I don't believe that. Have you ever noticed that the Farsul and Kolshians never get raided, even their outermost colonies, that they can spread to other planets far faster and easier than any other Federation species? It's because they’re the initial creators of the Federation, even before the Krakotl. Clearly, they are actually following the standards they set, because the Federation set those standards to protect people. Standards we are currently failing to reach. I believe I can do better and show people how to do better. I believe we can all do better, and the only way to prove this is to do it myself. For better or for worse, I will place my nest upon my chosen cliff face and find out once and for all whether these rules and regulations work.”
And really, I knew in my heart what the answer to that was. The Kolshians and the Farsul knew what they were doing.
Memory transcription subject: Estala, Human Methods Advisor to the Exterminators.
Date [standardized human time]: March 9th, 2137
I gave an inward groan of despair as I looked at the results. Jkob and I had started to collate our findings in the van, and the problem was far worse than we thought it was. Independently, we'd only found a small proportion of the overall deaths, and even the mass of new killings we'd been told about would only be part of the whole picture.
“That bad, boss?”
“I didn't say anything.”
“You didn't need to, boss.”
I gave a sigh, looking down at the list of names and times we'd collated from our interviews. So many names. So many people told of the probable demise of members of this herd. So many people who had just wanted information on missing people. Sure, some of them were positive stories.
‘Yannal moved back in with his parents, no reported issues’
‘Kaavan was picked up by another facility, but is currently in human care.’
‘Tarsal moved off world and is living happily in a Venlil colony.’
But most… most were just confirmations of the Heartbreak Killer’s MO of wiping the records after their deaths.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
“How did we miss this, Jkob? How did we miss something like this happening right under our beaks?”
“The guy was wiping the records.”
“Even then! They should have felt comfortable enough to ask for help. We're the Inatala damned Exterminators! We are who they should go to. But instead, the way they looked at us. When given the choice between a predator diseased mass murdering killer and the Exterminators, they chose ‘The Stalker’! They almost all thought that thing was fully backed by us!”
I leaned back into my seat, closing my eyes to the absolute hopelessness I was feeling. Was this entire thing just a hopeless flight against a never ending storm? I wanted to believe that the Exterminators could be better, that I could be better, but could an organization that let this happen even be redeemed?
Do I even deserve redemption?
“I mean, at least now we know how the humans feel, right boss?” The Letian gave a small chuckle, attempting to inject some levity into the situation. “Fear and flinching no matter how you act… Although the humans who came to talk to me were nice. Friendly, curious and helpful. Said I looked like a blanket. Haven’t really interacted that much with the pred- humans before.”
“Yeah, they didn't come to visit me… I guess humans haven't had good experiences with Krakotl. Or Exterminators. Or Krakotl Exterminators.” I gave another forlorn sigh, slumping over once in the seat once more. “I just wanted to help people. That's why I joined, I just wanted to keep people safe. But instead I was chasing ‘predator deception in humans’ while a literal mass murderer was on the loose.”
Jkob put a small paw on my shoulder, trying to comfort me as I marinated in the misery of… Everything.
“It'll be fine boss, you're trying now, aren't you? Let's get back to the office, then we can go through this data.”
I gave a small shrug, glad of at least one person's backing.
“Yeah. Just give me a moment, I've just gotta leave something behind that someone requested. Keep the van running, I'll only need a moment.”
Quickly I exited the van, heading back into the ex-facility with a more welcoming response: In that I wasn't immediately being tossed out. I held up a data pad in response to the questioning tail flicks of the receptionist on my return.
While the document itself would be useless in the modern day post-human reality, I wasn't one to lie. Stored on the pad were 33 documents relating to my ‘professional opinion’ on ex-facility members. Maybe it would give some of them a little peace of mind, a shield against an action that should never happen again.
“I have the documents some of the residents here wanted, and if anyone else wants the same I can provide them with-”
“YOU! IT'S YOU! I REMEMBER THAT VOICE!“
My explanation to the receptionist was interrupted by the sound of a Venlil shouting behind me, confusion flowing through my mind as I span around to confront the voice. A deep black Venlil stared at me, tail swishing in fury and ears flat against his head, rapidly approaching my position and leaving behind a concerned looking human. He didn't look good, thin, patchy wool, with obvious scars and signs of months old abuse visible upon his body. I didn't recognize him.
“I'm sorry? Can I help you, I don't-”
“YOU! DON'T LIE. I REMEMBER YOU! I REMEMBER YOUR VOICE! YOU ARE THE KRAKOTL, THE ONE WHO SENT ME HERE. IT WAS YOU!”
I didn't know this Venlil, I-
I remember him.
His name was Tradiv. He was the first Venlil I'd diagnosed with predator disease. No, even worse than that, I used him as an example on how to correctly go through the process. Two empathy tests, two weeks apart, both had come back with type C1 Predator Disease: a reduced empathy and reduced predator fear response. He looked nothing like how I remembered him, a heavier set Venlil whose every movement and word was slow and lethargic. That's why his brother had contacted the Exterminators, worried about him and his possible Predator Disease. It was such a by-the-book case that I'd used it as an example for other Exterminators to follow, to avoid another Tarlim case.
“Tradiv. That’s your name right? What happened?”
What happened? What happened?? You sent him to the facility! Why would you ask that you idiot, you know what happened!!
“You happened, you speh!” Tradiv screamed at me. “You said I was ill, it was you, then I got placed into that living nightmare! The humans, they say I just needed help, just medication, not not…”
The Venlil’s rage spluttered out as the human they had left behind finally caught back up to him, placing himself between the two of us.
“Tradiv, calm down. Remember how we said you might start feeling stuff again as the
He said that word with such malice, glaring at me angrily as he said the word with such spite while words lodged themselves in my throat. But it was the other one that caught my attention. The word failed to translate, my translator half attempting to provide an explanation as ‘anti-sadness medication’ before giving up half-way.
“No. This- this- this predator diseased monster took my life from me! Get out of my way! I was better before she sent me there, I would have been fine! Why would you do this to me! The humans said all I had was depression, that all I needed was help!”
All he needed was help.
I could put the context clues together based on the shattered pieces of information my translator gave me. Depression: A feeling of sadness, numbness. Was that what had caused the Predator Disease? The humans had told him that mere medication was enough to cure them. Honestly, it didn’t even matter. No matter what he had, he didn’t deserve what he got in the facility.
Where I put him.
“I said why! Why you speh headed motherfucker!”
I couldn't breathe, heart thudding in my chest as I tried to think of any words to say, none coming to mind as I stared at the shell of the Venlil I'd created, his tail shaking with rage, eyes burning with hate, as I remained silent.
What could I say, what words could I even begin to let fall from my beak to explain what had happened to him. I could see every scar, every broken piece of the Venlil I'd created. The human was attempting to get in between the two of us, trying to calm down the victim I'd created.
I created this. This is my fault. I did this, he wasn't that bad when I originally saw him. He had a mild case of predator disease that just needed a little bit of treatment, now he looks like a Sunbliss addict.
“I SAID WHY! ANSWER ME!”
In a moment of blinding rage, Tradiv gave a final scream before breaking free of the human's grasp, charging at me with a final, bestial roar. I couldn't move, I couldn't react, my mind still paralysed by seeing the results of my handiwork. The impact of the Venlil headbutting me to the ground felt as if it was being done to someone else.
I felt the blows rain down upon my person as Tradiv paws tried to find purchase upon my head, the ex-facility patient no longer saying any words, simply screaming with raw emotion as they assaulted me. I could have fought back, the Venlil was out of shape and fragile, compared with a trained Exterminator armed with a taser and firearm. With how his blows felt, I might have been able to bring him down with a simple takedown. But I didn't, instead simply protecting my head with my wings to the best of my ability as blows continued to come.
Tradiv’s attack was sloppy and uncoordinated, anger leaving him inaccurate as most of his attacks barely grazed my wings. A slow blow finally landed as his paw crashed into my head, the already healing injury causing a wave of pain and disorientation to fill my vision.
I deserve this. I did this to him. I didn't mean to, but I did this to him.
As fast as it had started, it was over, the weight of the Venlil above me disappearing in an instant as someone finally dragged them off me. I lay there for a moment, a blur of sound and shouting as a commotion was happening around me. Slowly I leaned forwards, as purple blood dropped from my beak and the side of my head, finally seeing who my undeserved saviour had been: Jkob was pinning Tradiv to the floor, wrapping a pair of handcuffs around their paws.
“The rest of you get back, right now! I don't know what ideas you think the humans brought here, but assault is still illegal, especially on an Extermination officer! Boss, are you ok?”
Physically I was fine. I could feel my previous injury from the human riot starting to bleed again, a few feathers having been ripped out, but overall I was probably fine. At least with the adrenaline I felt OK. The situation had attracted a lot of the residents to come watch this second commotion of the day, the various humans and Venlil looking agitated as Jkob continued to arrest one of their own.
I'm not the victim here, I was the one who did this, I was the one who caused this. I deserve this.
Slowly I returned my focus to the situation. Tradiv had been hoisted to his feet, the restraints around his paws behind his back providing a level of compliance, while the human the Venlil had been with was trying to explain something about medication and side effects.
“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm not hurt.” I slowly managed to mumble out, holding a wing to my head in an attempt to stop the trickle of blood and watching Jkob handle the situation, too dazed both physically and mentally to add anything to the situation.
“You don't look fine, boss. We need to get you to a hospital. What happened, what got into this psycho?”
I did. I made that Venlil. I thought I was helping but I made that Venlil, turned him into this broken shell. Why did I never follow up on the facilities, why didn't I check?
“I'm fine,” I mumbled, brain still rocked from the blow I'd taken. “Let's just leave him and go, we've done enough damage here.”
“Wait, I’m not leaving him, not after assaulting you like that!”
The Venlil in question had finally gone silent, a more fearful look replacing the previous rage, the consequences of his attack seeming to finally override his aggression. The others in the room were staying back with a mixture of their own levels of fear and apprehension, none of them wanting to get involved, enough of the word having spread making it obvious I hadn't been the one to start this.
Except that I had started this.
“Just let him go and let's leave. We'll make things worse by bringing him in. He didn't do anything wrong.“
“What do you mean, boss!? He was literally trying to beat you to-”
“Look, I'll explain later- just do it!” I interrupted, causing a look of worry and confusion to flow from the Letian's body language.
“...you sound concussed, you're not in a state to be-”
“I started it, OK!? I'll explain later but we should just leave. It was my fault, I'm the one to blame, it was me…”
I could see that Jkob didn't understand, but he followed the order as I barely managed to cut myself off, letting the confused Tradiv go as he scampered back into the crowd of scared and angry people, each of their eyes glaring at me with the hatred of every star in the galaxy. I could feel the blood dripping down my beak and the side of my head, as their judgement and anger weighed down and threatened to squish me into a pulp. They knew exactly what I’d done, they knew exactly the harm and evil I’d enacted on that poor Venlil. I’d just wanted to help, but I’d done the exact opposite.
I am a monster.