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Of Kisses and Stone
Big F-ing Mistakes

Big F-ing Mistakes

Abigail

I have been locked in my bedroom for 15 days. Every night, Cora sits on one side of the door and I sit on the other. I try telling her stories, singing her songs, making up silly jokes, anything to keep her mind off the cold and hunger. I will stay strong for her. We will not survive this if I cannot.

Cora begs outside the gates of the palace during the day. Some days, she comes home with bread or even a bit of meat that she can slide under the door. Most days, we go to sleep with empty stomachs.

I did what I had to do to keep us alive. When we were on the verge of starvation, I went to work doing things that I would die before I asked Cora to do. But now I am trapped in this room like an animal.

I’ve struggled for days to get out of the ropes, but to no avail. They are too tight. My step-father has come in to check on me a few times. I’m scared of what he’ll do to me or my sister if he sees the ropes untied.

“Abby,” Cora says through the door.

I hurry to the other side.

“I’m here,” I say.

Under the door, Cora slides 2 thick slices of bread. I want to cry with gratitude.

“Thank you, Cora,” I say, “You are saving me.”

“I did a bad thing, Abby,” Cora says softly, “This bread wasn’t… well… I’m sorry Abby, but I was so hungry.”

I sighed, knowing how she came home so successful. Her soft cries break my heart. I’ve stolen from other families hundreds of times. But when I was able to make money in ways that didn’t hurt innocent people, I stopped and made sure Cora would, too.

Things are different now.

“It’s alright, Cora,” I tell her in a soothing tone, “You did what you had to do. It’s alright.”

Quinn

In my dream, I was still kissing Jamie - hot and passionate. The Jamie in my dream was better than the one in real life. He knew what I wanted, knew what I liked. We were back at his house, the night of the party - but it was empty. I pulled away to ask him where everyone went, but it was no longer Jamie I was kissing.

It was Atlas.

I raised my hand to slap him, but he grabbed it, holding it over my head. Atlas took my other hand as well, and pushed me backwards until I was pinned against Jamie’s wall. I was trapped, both hands fitting in one of Atlas’s high above my head. He grabbed my face with his free hand and leaned into me, kissing me softly on the neck just once. I shut my eyes for a moment as chills ran down my spine. He pulled away to look so deeply into my eyes that I was lost for words.

“What do you want?” he breathed. I took a deep, shaky breath.

“You.”

My alarm blared and I jumped awake, looking around in confusion. When I’d realized what I’d been dreaming about - who I’d been dreaming about, I wanted to die. I groaned loudly, lying back down and holding my pillow over my head. I debated skipping school again, but the thought pissed me off. Atlas - this boy I absolutely hated - had started ruling my life. I was becoming a recluse in my attempts to avoid him.

“Fuck you, Atlas,” I said into my pillow. And fuck Jamie for putting ideas into my head.

I willed myself to sit up and get ready for school. I threw on baggy jeans and a deep green sweater. I even decided to apply mascara today. The purple bags under my eyes had subsided thanks to my deep -yet deeply unsatisfying - sleep.

The TV was on when I emerged from my bedroom, my dad fast asleep on the couch. I doubted he’d even noticed the smell from the night before. He never noticed anything.

Outside, Kylee and Elaina were waiting for me. I was surprised at Elaina’s appearance.

“Not greeting the prince this morning?” I asked Elaina sarcastically as I met them at the usual lamppost at the end of my driveway.

“Not today,” she smiled, probably ignoring the sarcasm purposefully.

On the other side of the street, as usual, sat the black car. The driver rolled down his window a crack so I could see his face. He gave me a slight nod - a warning from yesterday. Try not to get into any trouble. I promptly flipped him off, but his window was already sealed shut. I was just flipping myself off in the reflection.

“Know him?” Kylee asked.

“Kind of,” I muttered, not really wanting to get into yesterday’s debacle.

“Of course she knows him!” said Elaina, “He’s part of the prince’s security team. They’re posted all over the town. He must have one looking after you, too.”

Kylee looked at me, one eyebrow raised. This was news to me, too.

“He - ATLAS put him up to this?” I said in annoyance.

Elaina smiled, “Well of course - you being the spellbreaker and all. Don’t look so irritated Quinn, he’s just trying to protect you. He told me that if news got out, you would probably need-”

“You talk to him about me?”

Elaina’s face fell, “Yes, Quinn.”

“Bu - Elaina! What gives you the right?” I sputtered, flabbergasted. “We were supposed to keep this a secret! Stay on the DL.”

Kylee nodded next to me in agreement, “She’s right Elaina. Why are you talking to Atlas? You don’t even know him!”

Elaina all but stomped her foot on the sidewalk, “Don’t be so daft! We were all there! We all saw Quinn kiss him that night, including Atlas. I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know!”

“I didn’t see anything that night!” Kylee argued, “I saw Quinn kiss a rock, and then we all went home. Right, Quinn? Is that what you saw?”

I nodded, too mad to speak.

“There, Elaina. And I don’t know what Atlas is telling you he thinks he saw, but he wasn’t there. He’s tricking you! And you’re dumb enough to believe it,” Kylee finished, arms crossed.

Elaina’s eyes filled with tears. Kylee had done it again, she’d crossed a line in her rage. But I stood by her on this one. Elaina’s faltering loyalty towards the friend group stung. Elaina turned to walk in the opposite direction, but stopped a few feet away. She looked back, meeting my eyes.

“He really cares about you,” she said, a tear streaming down her cheek, “He just wants to get to know you and-and I don’t know. But you haven’t even given him a chance. You’re blinded by your own hate.”

I wanted to tell her that she was the one who was blind, but I kept my mouth shut. Kylee had said enough. Elaina wiped her tears with the back of her hand and left us. She was headed in the opposite direction of the school.

“Should we go after her?” I asked.

Kylee shook her head, “Just give her space, she’ll come around. I know it was harsh, but she needed to hear the truth. She had no right talking about you behind your back.”

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I nodded my head in agreement. Kylee and I continued our walk to school in silence. Kylee was still stewing, probably replaying the argument in her head and thinking of all the things she should have said to Elaina. I, on the other hand, couldn’t get Elaina’s final words out of my head. Atlas was slowly infiltrating my life - having me followed, buddying up with my friends. It was only a matter of time before he was ripping shots with my dad at the bar. I gritted my teeth in anger.

“Kissing that goddamn rock is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

Kylee raised one eyebrow, “Bigger than when you burned off half your hair?”

“Yes.”

“Bigger than when you threw Jamie’s bicycle in the lake and pinned it on his younger brother?” Kylee challenged.

I couldn’t help but smile at that one, “Yes.”

“What about when you got so drunk that you broke into Elaina’s mom’s car and passed out in your own vomit?”

I burst out laughing, feeling a bit of weight lifted off my shoulders. Kylee could be a raging bitch, but she could also be a wonderful human being.

“Damn Kylee,” I laughed, “I can’t stop fucking up, can I? Maybe I should just kill myself.”

It was Kylee’s turn to laugh, “I’ll hold your hand and we can jump off the bridge together.”

“It’s a plan.”

We linked pinkies and held them together, walking into History. Elaina arrived a few minutes later, her eyes puffy from crying. She sat on the other side of the room, not glancing our way once.

Atlas walked in after her, wearing a dark blue button down shirt. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows casually. My stomach squirmed as I remembered my dream from last night. I pushed the thought away as he took a seat directly in front of me. I waited for him to turn around, but he took too long. I looked at Kylee and she nodded, then put her hood up and opened her textbook - pretending to be engrossed in the pages.

“Yo,” I hissed. Slowly, Atlas turned to face me.

“Good morning, Quinn,” he said, not quite as chipper as the previous day.

“You’re having me followed?” I asked him in an accusing whisper.

He shrugged his shoulders, “So what if I am?”

“So what? It’s an invasion of privacy!”

“He’s not bothering you is he? Just go about your life and pretend he isn’t there,” Atlas said, sounding… bored?

“No,” I said firmly, “It’s not cool. Tell the creepy FBI agent to leave me alone! I don’t need someone watching my every move.”

“The first time I met you, Quinn, you nearly passed out on a lawn drunk. Then, you got caught shoplifting, and it took nearly $500 to stop Mr. Kleaver from calling the police. Clearly, you need someone watching your every move. It’s a wonder you’ve even lived to see your 18th year.”

His directness caught me by surprise and I froze, contemplating what I wanted to say next. He raised one eyebrow, daring me to continue.

“Call it off,” I demanded, “I can take care of my fucking self.”

“Like hell you can,” he muttered, turning around in his chair. I didn’t feel like the conversation was over, but I also wasn’t going to beg for his attention. I turned towards Kylee, knowing she’d been listening to every word of our conversation.

“Shoplifting?” she mouthed amusedly, just as Mr. Tanner started class.

“I’ll tell you later,” I replied in a huff.

******

Atlas didn’t talk to me again until English when he was forced to because we were partners in the stupid fairy tale project. He took a seat to the left of me, a scowl still on his face seemingly from our spat first period. A silence fell between us, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the first to break it. I leaned my head on my left hand and made a curtain with my hair, blocking him out.

There was a deep sigh and then, “Quinn?”

Slowly, I lifted my head as though I’d just realized he’d been sitting there.

“Yes?” I asked innocently.

He gave me a pleading look and said, “Don’t be mad at Elaina. She wasn’t gossiping, it’s my fault.”

“She was talking about me behind my back, wasn’t she?”

“Er- yes, but-”

“Then I believe that constitutes gossiping,” I said.

“She only talked about you because I asked her about you - a few times actually. I didn’t realize it would cause a rift in your friendship - she seemed eager to talk, especially my first day here,” he admitted.

“She should have kept her mouth shut,” I told him.

“She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know - I swear, no secrets were spilled. We just talked about that night, when you k-”

“Shh!” I cut him off, looking around. No one was paying any attention to us.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said quickly, and then he leaned closer to me. “I just brought up that night, asked her if you knew what had happened. She said she hadn’t had the chance to talk to you about it. I think she knew more than she was letting on, but she really didn’t give me any new information.”

“That’s all she told you?” I asked skeptically.

He sighed, “Truthfully, I also asked her where you… frequented. We - my family and I - wanted to have people on the lookout, making sure you weren’t getting into any trouble.”

“Stalkers,” I muttered, but he ignored it.

“She didn’t tell me anything. She was sweet about it, but she told me I should be the one to ask you that. In the end, I agreed.”

I looked down at my hands and started picking at a cuticle. Atlas’s story changed things, and suddenly I started feeling guilty for what we had accused her of this morning. I was still hurt by her - it still felt like she was siding with him. Fraternizing with the enemy.

“Accept her apology?” he asked softly. I looked back up at him.

“Did she ask you to talk to me?”

“No, I promise. I only saw her crying and asked what was wrong. She didn’t ask me to do anything.”

I sighed, wondering how Kylee would interpret this information. Would it change her opinion of the argument at all?

“Please, Quinn? Forgive her?”

I smirked, “Call off your guys.”

“What?” he asked, taken aback.

“You heard me. Have that FBI agent leave me the hell alone, and I’ll forgive Elaina.”

“You’re joking.”

“Not at all. I want that fancy black car out of the West Side tonight,” I told him firmly, not breaking eye contact.

“Really, Quinn? You would really let a friendship stay ruined over this?” he asked.

“You clearly don’t know me at all,” I said, leaning back in my seat and crossing my arms.

“Clearly,” he grumbled. He thought for a moment. “Fine, I’ll have security back off.”

I smiled, triumphant.

“If,” he continued.

I gasped, “there’s no if! You get your way, I get mind. It’s called a compromise.”

“If you hang out with me.”

“Not a chance. That wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Come on, just for an hour?”

“I’d rather eat dirt.”

“It’s a good deal. There’s no way you’re never going to talk to Elaina again, with or without the compromise. Give me an hour of your time, and no more black cars outside of your house,” he said.

The asshole had a point. I was planning on talking to Elaina again soon, even without the bargain.

“30 minutes,” I said.

“45 minutes.”

He held my gaze, and I reached out my hand. It was enveloped in his large hand instantly. He shook my hand firmly, warmly, and then released it.

“Deal,” he said, beaming.

****

At the end of the day, I rummaged through my locker, shoving excess hoodies and books in my backpack. I’d let it get way too messy yet again. When I was satisfied by the amount of crap no longer piled up, I slammed the locker door shut and nearly jumped out of my skin. Atlas was leaning against the lockers, smiling. I’d never seen such a high school cliche in my entire life.

“Fuck,” I muttered, my heartbeat slowing, “What?”

“You never told me when. Or where,” he noted.

“I don’t know, uh… can you just text me later and we’ll figure it out?” I slung my backpack over my arm and headed for the exit. Atlas followed, walking next to me.

“Er, I would,” he said, “But I don’t have a cellphone.”

“You don’t have a cellphone?”

“Nope,” he popped the p.

“How?”

“Well, I’ve only been awake for-” he looked at an invisible watch on his wrist, “a week. And last time I could interact with the world around me, electricity hadn’t been invented.”

“Bullshit,” I said, my eyes forward.

“I’ll get one soon enough,” he said nonchalantly. “I guess I’m just hoping to have people to text first.”

I snorted. He clearly was fine in that department. Every girl we passed on our way out the door waved goodbye to him.

I paused when we got outside, eyeing the black Tesla waiting at the end of the walkway. Another one waited across the street, further down.

“You have to uphold your part of the bargain first,” he reminded me.

“Fine. Are you free in an hour? We could meet at the park on Riley Way,” I offered.

He looked up at the gray sky, just as a gust of wind ruffled both of our hair. “A little cold for a park isn’t it?”

I wasn’t going to argue with him. He would never see the inside of my house, and I certainly was not willing to make the trek to The Kingdom - even if it was 5 minutes from me.

“Riley Park, take it or leave it.”

“I’ll bring a jacket,” Atlas sighed, “See you in an hour!”

Just as Atlas reached the sidewalk, another black car pulled up - a Rolls Royce this time. Atlas opened the door and climbed in the passenger seat. He gave me a final wave before shutting the door. The car sped off, high school students brimming with admiration in its wake.